Searching For Who I Am: Book 1 (The Searching Trilogy)

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Searching For Who I Am: Book 1 (The Searching Trilogy) Page 19

by Paige Orr


  My body freezes up, turning to stone, as I hear something scraping along the concrete floor towards me. The sounds goes around and round in circles, leaving me completely disoriented and confused about what kind of mind game my captor is playing with me. When it stops, I lock up again waiting for a blow to come but nothing happens.

  What is his game plan here? All I know, is the anticipation of what he's surely going to do to me, is driving me batshit crazy. As time passes my body relaxes, and I try to move my head hoping to dislodge the blindfold but instead I feel a cool breath at my ear. He whispers softly to me, but that doesn’t stop the terror that his words cause.

  “Now pet, don’t move a muscle. Do you know how much I've wished to see you just like this, bound completely at my mercy? The things I've dreamed of doing to this beautiful body of yours? I know that I lost my temper last night, but you have to understand, you're mine! You had to be punished for letting those men touch what does not belong to them. You see, we were destined to be together, the taste of your blood last night only confirmed that. You taste like the most decadent wine a man could ever hope for a taste of, and I long to get a taste of all of you. Did you know, that your emotions give your blood a different flavour? Your fear, disgust and panic. It was like experiencing a three-course meal and the very sight of your skin painted with that lovely red life essence, is something that will follow me to the grave. You'll soon learn that only I can give you true pleasure, I will make you realise this very, very soon my pet and then we will crush those who stand in our way!”

  I feel my tears soaking through the blindfold as he walks away and the room falls into silence once again. This time though, I won't relax until I’m sure he’s gone. I lay there, for what I expect is hours just waiting for him to either leave or do something, but eventually, the effects of last night catch up to me and my eyes begin to close. As I begin to drift away, the sound of something smashing on the wall next to me and shards landing on my face and body startles a scream from my lips.

  “Now now, there's no time for you to sleep my pet. I’m still deciding what fun we will get up to tonight, although I do think you just gave me the most perfect idea. Since I seem to be boring you maybe we should liven things up a bit.” I hear him open the door whispering to someone outside, before coming back to my side.

  After a few moments, the door reopens with a clang and I hear what sounds to be a very young girl’s muffled sobs. My breath catches in my throat, why would he bring someone else into the room? It all starts to make sense though, as I listen to his sadistic laughter mixing with the girl’s agonised screams.

  No! I can’t just lay there as they hurt an innocent girl, I have to do something. I begin to thrash around ineffectively, but even as my wrists are rubbed raw I know that I can’t stop for her sake. I refuse to let that sick fuck get away with this shit!

  I know it’s too late though, as the girls' screams get weaker and weaker, slowly fading away to nothing. Sobs wrack my chest, for the life I know has been snuffed out metres away from me. How could anyone be so callous, to take a life so easily, especially one so innocent and even worse yet to enjoy it? Does he think this is what I want? All I want right now, is to curl into a ball and let all of these emotions drain away. What I would do for the press of cold steel against my skin, to let all of this poison out.

  Why didn’t he hurt me? Kill me? Why would he make me listen to that? Is this him trying to prove that my life sits in the palm of his hand? Because it’s a little hard to forget. I hear him approaching and he strokes his hand down my cheek. The trail he leaves is wet and sticky and I flinch away, I can only imagine what he has painted my skin with now and the thought makes me sick.

  “You see my pet, we're at the top of the food chain, you and I. We can have anything we want, whenever we want it. Together we can do anything you can possibly dream of. We're the perfect couple, everyone will bow down to us. Don’t you see the power we hold in our hands?”

  Following where his voice is coming from, I build as much saliva as I can in my dry mouth and spit at him, satisfied when I hear his sound of disgust. I instantly feel the burn of his palm striking my cheek, with blood filling my mouth, I grin at the fact I finally got a reaction from him. I croak past my split lip.

  “You think I could ever want you? You're just a weak little man who finds pleasure in hurting those weaker than you. All that means is you’re a fucking coward! A pathetic excuse of a man, who thinks that beating down the weak makes you stronger. Really it just shows how weak you really are. You’re just like my bitch of a mother, so unsatisfied with your own life that you have to try and make others lives hell, I would rather fucking die than give myself over to a pussy like you!”

  He reaches out digging his fingers between my ribs, applying enough pressure to break the skin. I grit my teeth through the pain, refusing to give him the pleasure of hearing me scream. As he continues pressing down, his nails gouge holes in my chest. I feel my ribs cracking and splintering then finally the darkness comes for me.

  Lilith

  Three Days Later

  I awake again to hunger pains tearing through my stomach. I’ve been alone for days now. Even if I sometimes feel as though someone is watching me. I know though, that it must be the delirium getting to me. That’s what happens when you haven’t had anything to eat or drink in fucking days. The bastard wants me weak, to give him more control, but I refuse to give myself to him!

  Sometimes I hear footsteps stopping outside my door, like whoever is out there is debating coming inside. They never do though, I’m just left to rot here. I spend most of my time thinking about how the guys and Gemma must be coping. This can’t be easy on them, I saw how uptight this guy following me made the guys and Gem has always been overprotective of me too. I can imagine them sitting together, blaming themselves for not stopping me from leaving.

  This isn’t their fault though, there's only one person to blame, that fucking rat that took me (and myself for being foolish enough to leave the safety of my home). Since he killed that poor girl in this very room, he hasn’t been back, though I've been left with a very bad feeling. Having my sight taken from me has heightened my other senses and there's a distinct rotting smell clogging my airwaves. My brain has conjured many gruesome images of what could be causing it. Although deep inside I know there can only really be one cause, I can’t let my mind go there though, it’s not safe for my sanity.

  It makes me almost thankful to be blindfolded, even just so I don’t have to match a body with the disgusting smell. I can’t fathom why I've just been left here, but I know the reasoning can’t be good. Maybe it’s more of his sick fucking mind games, hoping that I’ll break and give him what he wants.

  To escape my predicament, I sometimes sit and think of my time with my guys, they seem to be the only thing strong enough to take me away from here. Although, once I come back to the present, all I can think about is why they haven't come for me yet. Without understanding any of my powers, there's nothing that I can do for myself. I’ve tried to use my mind to reach them, even though that seems so pointless now, books always talk about mind links between mates. Maybe I’m doing it wrong or maybe I’m just a dumbass, basing real life on fantasy books. Even if my life has turned into one.

  As the days go by, I get weaker and more frightened, lost in the dark recesses of my mind. With him being determined to bend me to his will, I know it can’t be long before he comes for me again. Sometimes I feel like giving in and giving him what he wants, just to make it all stop but I know that things would just get worse, men like that don’t stop just because they got what they wanted.

  As I lay here lost in thought, finally the footsteps come again. I expect them to follow their usual routine but I’m surprised when I hear the lock turning and the hinges creaking as the door opens. I try to brace myself for what is to come but I don’t even have the energy to do that. I know that this time he may be successful in breaking me and it fucking turns my stomach. I said t
hat I would never be this weak again, but all that hope has slowly been drained from me. How will it all end? Will he drain my blood as he has drained my will? Or is he just going to leave me to die from dehydration and starvation?

  It seems I’m going to get my answers soon enough, as his footsteps approach my bedside. I feel his cold hands running over my bare body and I shiver with revulsion. I wish that I was still mentally capable of dissociating myself from the situation, but alas I don’t even have the mental capacity to do that.

  “Hello pet, have you learned your lesson? Or do you need another demonstration on why you're better off doing as you’re told like a good girl?” I refuse to answer and don’t even manage a flinch when I feel his claws drawing blood as he scrapes them down my chest, what’s the point in reacting to his bullshit? It won’t change a thing.

  With a tut, he walks away and I hear as he approaches somewhere else in the room. Next, I hear the sickening sound of something heavy being dragged across the floor towards me. I know from the rising stench that it's his ‘gift’ that he left in here for me. The sounds stop and I begin to release a breath of relief, that is until a dead weight settles down on top of me.

  I gag, knowing that he’s just dumped the dead body on top of me. Whimpering, I try to dislodge the body, squirming around on this nasty ass bed, but nothing I do seems to help. Knowing my luck, he's probably holding it down on top of me, with some sort of sick grin of satisfaction at my struggles to remove it. I can’t even think of this object as a person because if I do I won’t be able to stay strong enough to get through this latest form of torture.

  Hearing his angry growl, I know he has grown tired of my attitude, in the next moment the weight disappears and I hear a thud on the other side of the room. Oh god, he just threw it, like it was nothing more than a piece of trash. I’m unable to think about that anymore though, as I begin to feel something slowly being pushed through my hand and into the bed.

  I try not to make a sound but as objects are continuously driven through my body, I can’t hold the screams back any longer. It feels as though the walls surrounding me quake with the pitch of my voice, but at this moment, I’m past the point of caring. Hopefully if this place collapses. Hopefully It'll kill us both. But hearing his maniacal laughter again I realise I’ll have no such luck and that he’s only just started with his plans for me tonight.

  Next, what feels like a kebab skewer is driven through both of my cheeks and even though I want to scream again, I’m too afraid of what damage doing so, will cause. I can feel my own blood soaking the sheets around me, and all I can hope is that the loss of blood will be enough to make me black out again soon.

  Unfortunately my wish isn’t granted, as I feel him beginning to suck and lick my wounds. It’s so deeply disturbing, that I can feel the vomit rising in the back of my throat. Unable to force it back down I just manage to turn my head as I feel it burning its way past my lips. I hear him jump back in disgust and manage a croaking laugh. The big bad fucker, who loves every other bodily fluid, can’t handle a little bit of puke, how fucking sad for him. My heartfucking bleeds for him, not.

  My laughter soon stops though, as suddenly my throat feels as if it's on fire and something warms begins to spill from it, running down my chest and soaking the mattress below me. It takes my shocked mind a few moments, to realize that the bastard just ripped my fucking throat out. The only saving grace I’m granted is that blackness finally begins to descend upon me.

  Samuel

  The guys have left me in charge of watching our prisoner and he almost looks pleased about that. What he doesn’t realize is that being left with me isn't a good thing. I may seem meek and weak compared to the others, but believe me when I say my analytical mind can be much more depraved than my brothers'.

  Unlike them, I'm able to let go of all ethics, the need for finding the answers that will give us what we desire the only thing that matters. I turn my eyes back to our prisoner and take in his emaciated features. You see, vampires like to think that they're invincible just because the only thing that can kill them is having their hearts or their heads removed. They forget though, that simply being deprived of life giving blood weakens them to a state more fragile than a humans, in a very short amount of time. Hence our ‘guest’ looks like an old man that has no fat on his bones.

  Deciding to have a little fun with our experiment, I approach him. I think he finally realizes the danger he's in. Over the days since Lilith was taken I've been turning more and more of my emotions off, and now all I am is a vengeful empty shell of a man. I bare my teeth at the only thing able to give us answers, as I reach forward get a grasp on one of his eyelids and rip it from his face, the sounds of his screams are like music to my fucking ears. I pull a bottle filled with holy water from my back pocket, popping the lid as I begin to pour it into his exposed eye. As it smokes and bubbles, I feel a sick smile covering my face.

  Not nearly happy enough with his pain, I reach out ripping one of his arms from his body. With a twisted smile, I begin to slowly swing it as if it were a bat and that gives me a great idea. I stand above him, sizing his arm up with his body and begin to swing, slowly beating the life from him with his own limb. With my chest heaving, I finally stop when I hear the door opening behind me and soft steps coming inside.

  Turning, I find Gemma looking at me with a cold detachment. “You look like you're having fun, but it’s time for the next batter. Hand me that piece of meat. I've got some frustrations for this cunt!”

  I hear the vamp growling and find his eyes trained on our human companion. “I think he likes you, so why not? Even though it’s probably just the smell of the blood running through your veins. You could always keep him as a pet after we're done with him. I’m sure the big bad vamp would love being kept by a weak little human, no offense.”

  He turns to me with venom in his remaining eye, all I do is give him a condescending smile as I hand (get it) his detached limb over to Gemma. Over the last few days we've seen just how far she's willing to go to protect our girl and I've got a strong respect for the love she has for Lilith. What harm could letting her take her frustrations out on the only person available be? It’s not like he can hurt her in his current predicament.

  She walks up to the vamp like a fucking professional baseball player and takes a swing straight for his head, my jaw drops as she almost knocks it clean off his shoulders. “Careful there slugger, remember we need this waste of space alive.”

  As I'm speaking to her, the vamp straightens in his seat and with an animalistic growl and tries to lunge for her. I’m about to intervene when the sound of his voice stops me dead in my tracks. “You fucking little bitch, you dare raise your hand to those better than you. When my sire is done with your little tramp friend, I’m going to make sure he takes care of you too!”

  He freezes as he realizes what he has just said, and any remaining color drains from his face. He cowers in on himself as I stalk toward him before turning to Gemma. “Good job Gemma! It seems we should have let you at him sooner. Can you get the others? I think that I finally know where we need to start, and I’m sure they'll want to be here to witness this disgraceful being’s demise!”

  With a sick grin, she all but skips from the room, turning back to our prisoner I give him a smirk. “I'll make sure to tell your sire, that all it took for you to talk was to let a little human lay her hands on you. Thanks for the clue but now you're no longer needed. Watching the life drain from your eyes will be the most satisfying thing I've seen in days. I wonder… is your connection with your sire strong enough that he'll feel your death? With the fact that you share powers, I’m sure he will, which just makes this even better!” I straighten to my full height with a sadistic laugh.

  We're coming to save you my love, please just hang on a little longer!

  Lilith

  When I regain consciousness, I can hear breathing next to me and feel the chilled skin of my captors body curled against my side. My body automatica
lly freezes up and I hear him chuckle. “Now pet, there's no need to act so repulsed. We both know that you love having me next to you. If you’re a good girl, you can even have your blindfold off today. Wouldn’t that be nice?”

  Not knowing what to say, I just nod my head. He lets out a pleased sound and I try my best not to flinch away from him. I need to get this fucking thing off of me so that I can try harder to get out of here. Who knows how much longer it'll take the guys to figure out where I am. Which means my escape is solely on my shoulders and I refuse to be the girl that relies on other people to get me out of a mess.

  We lay there in silence for such a long time, that I start to believe that behaving is going to be a lot easier than I thought. Of course he has to go and prove me wrong though. “So my little pet, what fun things shall we do today? Do you want to watch as me and my guards have our fun? I know you must have been so disappointed since you weren't able to see what happened last time.”

  I’m shaking my head before I can stop myself, fuck that shit. I don’t want to watch someone die, but I’m sure he must know that and that’s why he said it. He wants me to react so he can laugh at my expense. Even knowing this I can’t help but give in to exactly what he wants.

  I freeze when I feel his hands at my eyes. He rips the blindfold from my face and I’m instantly blinded by the light. When my eyes finally adjust and I look around the room, I feel the bile rising in my throat. I knew that their victim sounded young, but now I can see that she couldn't be older than thirteen.

 

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