“So you were in fur?”
“Sure, in fur and running, and I thought, ‘I could do anything. Could eat a whole pizza buffet or sniff an elephant.’ So I ran here instead. And I said … don’t know if saying is the right word, like … asking … whoever’s listening? Asking Moon, asking the spirits of dreams, right? Saying in my head, ‘Where are they? Show me where to go.’ And I ran right into the stone circle. We were all there. The circle, the cliff, and it was like clips from old hunts all flashing around us. You said, ‘We’ll find them in the past.’ Zar said, ‘Turn around.’ Jason said, ‘Remember.’ Then we were all standing in a row along the cliff with white mist all around us and you said something like … ‘Just hold on. Where’s your trust?’ Or something like that. It was a question about trust or faith, like that was it and we’d be there and I … I jumped. I think I jumped out but it wasn’t like going over the edge. It was like … soaring through mist and … I woke up. I kept thinking see a little more, you know? Just see a bit more and ask more. I felt so close, all right there… But it was gone. That’s it…”
The hairs on the back of my neck were prickling. “I’ve seen white mist and walked along a cliff-top also. I saw the shamans there. Should we take notes?”
“Not really new, is it? With you seeing the same? Only … it was there. Reckon I could do it more. Lucid dreaming, I mean.”
“I think you could too. Jason, can you remember what he said? I’ll make notes in the morning. And you never know, Kage, you might have another one tonight. I hadn’t seen a thing. Imagine yourself taking charge of the dream again. I would love it if any of us could see faie or know where to head next to find these mages. If you go back again, you could try asking Moon to take your dream to one of those two things.”
Of course, it was a while before we felt settled enough to be drifting off at all. We whispered for a few more minutes about dreams and visions, all the messages and the right questions to ask. Then lay quiet for much longer.
I was just feeling melty again when I became aware that Jason, who had rested his hand on my waist when he’d settled at my back, now had his palm against my belly. It was a perfectly natural place for him to end up, a slight embrace from behind as he tucked in against me. I don’t know if he meant anything by it or not. All at once, it meant a great deal to me.
I’d completely forgotten I’d told myself to give them the news after dinner. I pressed Jason’s hand, releasing a slow breath. Tomorrow.
The next time Kage woke me there was early dawn light at the windows: soft white glow that felt at once angelic and so cold I was glad to be between them. He said nothing, fondling with a hand on my butt, the other rolling up the edge of my tank top, his lips in my hair.
My last sleep interruption flashed back as I became aware of him and Jason against me and that white glow.
“Remember anything?” I managed groggily and ducked my head to his bare chest on a yawn. It had hardly been a restful night between racing mind, waking, and uncomfortable bed.
“Not real. Bits and repeats… Saw birds. Didn’t Zar see birds? Only … not doing anything. Just birds. Bunch of rooks or similar, some gulls… Don’t know…”
“Me too. I mean, about vague or redundant images.” I sighed, rubbing my eyes.
A furred wolf was already moving behind me. The breathy sound of a yawn and stretch.
Jason didn’t stir, his hand still on my uncovered belly, while Kage shifted his touches.
“Jay?” I whispered. “Remember any dreams?”
He hesitated and I wondered if I’d been wrong that he was awake, then, “Not about anything we’re working on.”
I pressed my hand over his. “No … I’ve been doing some reliving with dreams as well. They’ll pass. You feel all right, though? I didn’t even ask. After you returned to skin?”
“A lot better. Pain’s gone.” He kissed the back of my neck. “Don’t worry about me. Plenty we need to bother about.”
“Yes… Just … you can talk to us, you know? If you’re having nightmares or any trouble changing … anything…”
“I know.”
I stifled another yawn. “We should get going. Or I should. Scry and call the States. Already late at night there.” I’d left a voicemail for Si yesterday, hoping for faie feedback, but no returned calls yet as far as I knew.
Kage pulled me against him, his other hand now up my tank top. We still had the thin cotton of my pajama pants between us, yet it seemed he must have lost his shorts at some point in the night. Surely I wouldn’t have been able to feel him so clearly otherwise.
A thread of a whine, as if far away.
I tried to look around, but Jason was there and I had to partly sit up before I saw Isaac. He almost startled me. Gloomy as the trailer still was, he was like waking up to a snowman in the middle of your bedroom.
“You can go on out. We didn’t lock the door,” I told him. The inside handle was a leaver, while you had to pull sideways on the outside one.
The heap of blankets on the floor in front of Isaac’s paws twitched. Andrew was invisible within.
Isaac did not turn, but directed his gaze to the small window above the folded table.
There was that funny white light.
I twisted away from Kage to see better, pushing back his hand from my top, and Jason also turned gingerly to look.
We all stared—even Kage—before I said, “Is that … fog?”
“Isaac wagged his tail.”
“Goddess,” I whispered, breathless.
“How about that?” Kage frowned.
“Isaac? You know where this big circle is? The one Zar mentioned by the coast? Cimber…?”
“Cimbayrel,” Jason said, also rubbing his eyes.
“Yes.”
Another wag from Isaac.
“Let’s go. As soon as everyone’s ready. Before fog burns off. I’ll have a quick scry and can call Stefan on the way. Middle of the night his time seems best to reach him.”
While I spoke, the shifting mound gave way to Andrew’s head. His huge ears were crooked, his short coat pushed the wrong ways, and he yawned in Isaac’s face with crocodile jaws as he spawned from the heap. He staggered up, shook himself, then regarded the window.
Isaac let himself out, pawing the door handle and hopping to what must be very wet grass below.
“It’s a feast,” Jason said, lying back. “Smells and sounds change. Always interesting, a good fog.”
“I hope Jed’s awake,” I said distractedly. “They’ll all like to check that out in fur before we have to get moving.”
Probably why Isaac was keen for a ramble. There was also fog’s safety of not being seen by mundane campers.
Andrew, however, sat and gazed at us with hooded eyes.
“Don’t supervise.” I spoke sternly. “Go on. Have a sniff around, then everyone get dressed. Maybe you two could sing for me and I’ll see what—Andrew? Would you please close that on your way out. It’s freezing.”
I had to huddle back between them, teeth almost chattering, while Andrew made his slow way out. He nosed the door shut from the outside and the three of us where alone in the musty, damp, frigid trailer. I hoped the others were awake. If not, Andrew would probably be glad to disturb the peace.
“I’m sorry, Kage, we need to focus.”
“Am focused.”
“On other things.”
“How come?”
“I need a light trance to scry. If you—”
“How about sex?”
“Yes, I gathered—”
“I mean, how about using sex for magic? You harness energy, right? Reach a certain mental state for certain casting? Like scry trance? Why not sex?”
“Oh. You’re right. People use ritualistic sex for casting. That’s a whole study, though. I wouldn’t even know—”
“Take everything so serious—”
“Kage, don’t—”
“Like you’re only halfway through witch school when really you a
lready know. Don’t test yourself much, do you? Each time you do, what happens?”
“Kage—”
“Bigger and bigger magic you didn’t know. Only you don’t push your own magic. What do you ever learn of you don’t push yourself?”
“Yes… But I just need a scry. I don’t need to build up an extra energy field.”
“And it’d hurt to have it?”
“What about in Portland?” Jason asked in a whisper. We were all keeping our voices hushed with closeness and new waking.
“Right,” Kage said. “Brought us together, shared energy, using us to do your wards.”
“That was a completely different thing.” I squirmed away from his hand in my pajama bottoms after he hadn’t been able to pull them down. There was nowhere to go besides into Jason, who seemed to be thinking the matter over.
“Is energy that specific?” he asked. “Don’t you call on whatever’s there? Like the breeze?”
“Sure,” Kage said while I tried to answer. “Every time you unlock a door for us there’s a bit of shifting wind currents. Sudden breeze indoors or twist in the outside air.”
“Is there? It’s not much—”
“Enough to change scents,” Jason said. “Even underground in the vampire’s lair when you opened the door into the castle dungeon.”
“I call on elemental energy most. That’s what I was taught. Calling on the energy of the people around you is a dangerous business. There can be slight repercussions. Willing participation can be a great help for shared forces, though—even from non-casters. That’s why we got together for the warding in—”
“Then what’s the problem?” Kage asked.
“You’re going to tear my pants.”
“So move.”
“I might not be good at this. I’ve never—”
“What’s the worst that could happen?”
“No results, plus energy drain for all three of us.” I finally arched and lifted my hip from the foam mattress, allowing Kage to finish pulling down the pajamas and underwear. “We could end up feeling a little groggy or dazed for a while.”
“So what? Isaac’s driving. We’re not on the bikes.”
“What’s the best that could happen?” Jason asked. “Stronger magic, right? More energy behind it?”
“Do another ward on yourself as you start,” Kage said. “Use that power, then really go for a scry again. Not that poking about to spot one friendly caster door to knock on in Linlithgow and dodging out of the magic rubbish. Really dive in. Wish I could do it. I’d tell those bloody kindred we were here to help them and they didn’t need to hide from us like little maggots.”
“They’d come running if you sweet-talked them like that.” My breaths were short as I kicked out of cottons under the covers, fighting against Kage pulling my knee over his own leg. “Can you not wait one second—?” Where had his own shorts gone?
“How long you think it’s been since I woke up?” Kage snapped back.
I twisted my foot free, able to drape my leg over his. I was so distracted by the rush and power of him, the tight spot, and annoyed by the manhandling, I didn’t have a second’s headspace to contemplate an approach to harnessing sexual energy for spells. Kage did not mess about once he had access to my naked skin.
“You need to let me think,” I gasped as he thrust and shifted his position to find his way in deeper. He was crushing: pulling me to him and pushing against me, while Jason was also at my back for pressure. I felt like the lettuce leaf in a hearty sandwich.
“Go on then,” Kage ordered me. “Don’t know why you blame me for sterk. Think all you fancy.” He wasn’t satisfied with his leverage lying on his side. It seemed a lovely relaxed position to experiment with trances and spells within sex. Only—speaking of blame—Kage was working to turn something dreamy into something frantic and void of air.
“Stop—Kage, no—” I held his face, having to shove his head back into the wall behind it to keep him on his side as he tried to climb on top of me. “I can’t be on my back. There’s no room, and anyway—”
“Plenty if we stay together.” He bit my fingers, taking three from my left hand into his mouth until he should have been gagging.
Wet heat of his mouth and feel of him straining for more inside me tingled my blood with an erotic energy spot on for bottling up into a spell. Only no one was working on spells.
Jason, holding onto me and nuzzling the back of my neck, seemed amused by us. I’m sure he was chuckling a little. He was a master at dealing with Kage. I was a bumbling amateur. Which made me think … what would Jason do?
With my fingers practically down Kage’s throat, I used that hand to keep the back of his head shoved into the wall.
“You’re right.” I wrapped my leg tighter around him, pulling myself in. “A spell and sex and trance… Just because I’ve never tried doesn’t mean we can’t make it perfect now. But ‘we’ is the key point. If you want to do this you have to be an active participant. Both of you.”
Kage chewed my fingers and tried to pull his face away.
“Remember our meditations? If you’re going to help you can’t rush. Pretend you’re scrying, dreaming, taking charge of where it takes you. Give me that energy. It’s all visualization. You don’t have to be a caster to do that. You’ve always had good instincts about magic. Magic is in your body, in your lineage, just like it’s in my training and heritage of witches. Breathe, show me what you can do, and let me trance and focus like a slow song. You can make this scry work.”
I pulled my hand away. Kage remained on his side. Breathing hard through his mouth, he rolled his hips, held me in, but didn’t climb on me. Everything slowed with his bites turning to kisses. He kissed my brow, down to my lips, then to Jason, meeting his lips over my ear. His grip turned from crushing to firm, still powerful, consuming as he held on, yet probably his take on extreme gentleness for such a moment.
Still tough to trance. Now for being distracted while Kage restrained himself and I met him with slow movements of my own. His ragged breaths and kisses, the feel of him moving rhythmically, and Jason’s caresses, almost a massage down my back, drew me into deeper waters.
Chapter 17
I imagined my woodland meditation grove. Lying there with Kage, making love on soft grass beside the pond so smooth it reflected us, wolf and witch, with true sight. Then, somehow, the others were there. To be together like this, love like this, bring in bodily responses and emotional states to magic… Why had it never crossed my mind?
I’d never tried, it was true. There had only recently been a call for extra power behind scries and I still wasn’t sure what all was really happening there. How had I seen the door in Paris? Knowing that magic existed at the level of the wild mages in our world, was it possible we could be spied on through my own scries?
Fears had crippled my magic until, as Kage pointed out, I’d been scared even for a quick peek after a safe place to knock on a caster’s door.
Calum and Frim might have a reputation in the Highlands. We could find someone else to ask up here. Or scry straight for them. Cut out involving anyone else if I was going for the full scry. They would be warded, of course. I shouldn’t be able to scry them. But … I shouldn’t have been able to scry that front door in Paris.
With all this extra energy? With the grove, Kage and Jason and the others, close, joining in, how could I fail?
There in the grove they kissed me, touched, and traded with Kage as I slipped among them, twining into one, then the other, as effortless as an eel through seaweed. Andrew rubbed my shoulders and breathed through my hair while I wrapped my legs around Zar’s hips and he filled me with slow thrusts, his skin glowing from building energy he passed into me. Then Isaac was above me, looking into my eyes as our pleasure built together, finding our perfect timing. Jed curled around me, licking my belly over and over. There was nothing weird or uncomfortable about him being in this form. He was pure this way, his real self, loving in his own way as
he offered a gentle reminder: Don’t forget her.
She was energy also. The unborn baby, the miracle, growing inside me because of them. It didn’t seem like one of them in particular had helped to create her in that moment—no more than I loved one of them. Another pure truth, love manifest as creation, which manifest as an energy that we all had—and willingly shared. Energy between seven so strong it made new life against all odds and kept us together when we should have crumbled without it. For a power like that, surely casting a any magic spell was child’s play.
I didn’t even know the questions as I found the scry, opening the door to my third eye, gazing through the fog. It didn’t matter. They would come as the vision of us all together had.
Kage groaned, broke his rhythm for a return of urgency, and I felt his orgasm as he crushed me against him once more. Jason murmured to him, his erection also between my legs, desperate to take his place, feel what Kage left inside me.
The change was seamless, Kage drawing back while, behind me, Jason thrust and held himself in, gasping quick breaths. They kissed one another above me, Kage lifting a hand to pull Jason’s head in while Jason now held tight, rocking against me.
That was the missing link to any real experimenting, any grouping beyond a threesome. If only they were all kissing each other also, imagine the power behind that… We could be gods. Then again … these relationships were complicated enough as it was…
I swirled through their energy, calling the three of us to join in the calm of the fog and charisma of the wind and nearness of the endless sea. Then asked the first question that came to mind.
Where are the mages Calum and Frim?
Footsteps, a forest, a river, an old wooden footbridge in early morning light without fog. Two young men had just stepped off on the other side. I stopped on the bridge, only mildly surprised when they turned to face me. Indeed, they looked far more surprised than I felt.
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