The wind whistled between them as they regarded each other silently. His face was haggard and his hair fell in his tired eyes, but his gaze didn’t waver.
Jaya stood and stepped forward, closing the gap between them. She realized she had no idea what Grey was thinking. His blue eyes were as wild, as stormy, as the most tempestuous ocean, his mouth set in a hard line. “Hi,” she whispered.
Grey didn’t say anything. He looked like a wounded animal, unsure, afraid, suspicious. Painfully hopeful. It hurt her heart to see it, to see what she’d done. She waited, in silence, sensing that he needed it.
“Is it true?” he asked, his speech pressured, as if he couldn’t stop the words from forming.
Jaya stepped forward, trying to get closer to him, but he stepped back, not letting her. She felt the pain of his lost trust but held still, respecting his need for space. “Is what true?”
He pushed a jerky hand through his hair. “Everything, all of what you said—is it true?” He took a deep, shaky breath. “You’ve realized you don’t have to sacrifice your heart for your family?” He couldn’t quite meet her eye as he said it, as if he didn’t want to show how much he needed it to be true.
“Every word is true. Grey, you’ve made me realize things about myself, about the way I want to lead my city. You’ve helped me see that tradition, what people expect of me, doesn’t have to be how the story ends. I have a hand in all this too. If I don’t like a scene, I can rewrite it.”
Jaya took a tentative step forward, testing to see if that was okay. He didn’t move back. Her hand shaking, Jaya reached up to caress his jaw, waiting for him to pull back, to push her hand away. But he didn’t. His eyes slipped shut.
“I love you,” she whispered simply. “I’m so sorry I lied. I’m so sorry I ever wanted to hurt you. And I’m sorry that I let my fear and my rigidity force me into decisions I never should’ve made. But you have to believe me when I say my heart is completely, unquestionably yours, Grey. It has been for a while.”
Grey’s eyes opened. He sucked in a breath, and when he spoke, his voice was a low tremble. “So the engagement is off?”
Jaya took a breath. “The engagement is off.”
“It might be too late,” Grey said, looking somewhere past her. He glanced down at her necklace. “Look at the rose.”
She did. The single ruby that remained hung precariously out of its socket, ready to fall at any moment.
“Once that one falls, it’s done. My life could be over. There might not be a chance for you and me, Jaya. It might be wisest for you to protect your heart from whatever’s about to happen.” He contemplated the sky, the soft pinks and golds of dawn reflected in his eyes.
“My heart is already broken when we’re not together,” Jaya said, fire in her voice. “Don’t you see that, Grey? I want to be with you. And you want to be with me. I sent my father a text. I was going to tell him about us today. This morning, in fact. I’m ready to take the next step with you, Grey. If you’ll have me still.”
Grey looked out over the frozen lake. “I—I can’t…”
“Grey.”
He turned back to her.
“Do you want me? As much as I want you? Still? After everything I’ve done?” Her lips were trembling so much, she was barely able to get the words out.
“Of course I do,” Grey said, his voice breaking as he took her face in his big hands, the pressure behind his words unstoppable, the intensity of his gaze turning her liquid. “You know I do. If this curse wasn’t— You’re the only one for me, Jaya. You’re the only one who sees me for who I am, and when I’m with you, I actually believe in happiness—”
She closed the gap between them just as two things happened simultaneously: the sun crested over the horizon, filling the world with its golden light, and the last ruby fell, pirouetting out of its socket in a slow, graceful arc, the sunlight winking off its hard surface.
Jaya pressed her lips to Grey’s gently, but then his hand was behind her head, pressing her to him with an urgency that left her breathless.
Grey
Pulling back from her, Grey looked down at the ground. The ruby glittered in the snow between them like a minuscule, evil seed. “It fell,” he said. “The last ruby, on my eighteenth birthday.”
“It means nothing,” Jaya said firmly. “Nothing. Look, you’re still here.” She gestured around them and smiled. “And it’s a new day, Grey. It’s a new day.”
He shook his head in wonder. “I’m still here. But… how?”
“I don’t know,” Jaya said. “But, Grey… I don’t really care. You know what really scares me? The thought of never being able to see you again.”
There was no lie in her bright brown eyes. Grey smiled slowly at her, his heart thrumming and leaping. “Really?”
“Really.”
He gazed out at the frozen town below them. After a long moment, he said, “That’s… that’s how I feel too.” Looking at her, he added, “Besides, I have a theory.”
“What’s that?”
“Hold that thought. There’s something I have to do first,” Grey said, pulling out his phone. He dialed a number and waited while Jaya stood by him. “Father?”
“Grey? You… you’re still—”
“Alive?” Grey smirked. “The last time I checked, yes. There’s something I need to tell you.”
“And what might that be?”
He looked at Jaya, and she gazed steadily back at him. “I’m not… I’m not damaged or a burden or any of those other things you’ve told me all my life. I’m not different, and I don’t need to keep my distance from people.” He took a breath. “And I wasn’t responsible for Mother’s death. How could you even have thought that about an infant? How could you have stolen all these years from me? I should’ve been forming friendships. I should’ve been laughing, engaged with the world. And instead… instead I locked myself away in a metaphorical tower. I thought I was a beast.” Jaya squeezed his hand, and he found the strength to continue. “I want you to know that I’m done believing your bullshit. I’m done feeling like I’m not worthy of love.”
“Grey, you’re being utterly ridiculous. This melodrama—”
“I’m not finished. I’m renouncing my title, effective immediately. I’m emancipating myself from the family. From this moment on, I am no longer an Emerson. I’m changing my last name to Mother’s.”
Jaya stared at him, shocked.
“What?” his father thundered. “That is preposterous! How on earth do you imagine you’ll continue paying for that expensive education of yours? Or hadn’t you thought that far, you stupid boy?”
“I’ve been investing for a few years now. I have a bit of money socked away that you don’t know about, as it turns out. I’ll make my own way in this world. I don’t need you, and I don’t need your title. I’m my own man now. I’m writing my own story.” Jaya beamed at him. “I hope someday you’ll make amends for what you’ve done. And I hope someday you’ll stop being the twisted person you became after Mother died. That’s all I have to say, really. Goodbye, Father.” He pressed “end” and turned to Jaya, his eyes bright. “So that’s that.”
She put her arms around him and he tightened his around her waist, closing his eyes to revel in the feel of her warm weight pushed up against him. The bare pendant hung lifelessly between them as the sun rose higher and higher in the sky, bathing them in its rose-gold light.
“Are you okay?” Jaya asked after a few minutes. “How do you feel?”
“How do I feel?” He pulled back and smiled down at her. “Fucking amazing. Now, do you want to hear my theory about the curse?”
Jaya nodded.
“Mend that which is broken
Repair that which is severed
Or the Emerson name is forsaken
And shall vanish, at last, forever.
“I thought that meant I’d die on my eighteenth birthday, right?”
“Right,” Jaya said, a small crease between her eyebrows.<
br />
“But what if it meant I’d emancipate myself instead? What if it meant the Emerson line would end because its last remaining heir would renounce his name and his title?”
The idea had only occurred to him once the sun rose and he realized he was still standing, but it made sense. These last few months, ever since he met Jaya and really understood what his father had stolen from him, he felt like he’d been moving toward this moment. Renouncing his name, emancipating himself, felt like something essential slotting into place, the last piece of the puzzle. He hadn’t been able to undo the curse, but it didn’t matter. He was no longer defined by his father’s narrow constructs, by his cold, unyielding cruelty. Grey had shattered that stone tower; he was finally free.
“If the curse was even real in the first place, that’s a pretty good theory,” Jaya said, a half smile at her lips.
They gazed at each other, their eyes shining. A generations-long burden lifted off Grey’s exhausted shoulders. He felt beams of hope, like sunlight, warming him, thawing him out again. It was done. It was over. Never again would he have to think about the curse. Never again would he have to live, afraid, in its shadow. He could go anywhere. He could be anything. He wanted to whoop and yell; he wanted to jump in the lake just to feel the shock of ice-cold water. He just wanted to feel.
Jaya took his hand as the wind gusted around them, making the pine trees shake. With her free hand, she pulled out her cell.
“What are you doing?”
“It’s my turn now.” Jaya began to dial.
Jaya
“Appa, it’s me,” Jaya said, her heart pounding. She could feel Grey’s eyes on her. “I have something to tell you. Actually, some things.”
“Is everything okay, Jaya?”
“Yes, everything’s fine. I’ve just had some revelations recently, and I want to share them with you.” She swallowed.
“Okay… hold on a moment. Your mother wants to join us on the call.”
“Jaya?” It was Amma’s concerned voice this time. “What’s going on? Is Isha okay?”
“Yes, she’s fine. Everything’s fine. But I have something to tell you both.” She met Grey’s blue eyes, steady and strong, and suddenly wasn’t as anxious. “I’ve called off the engagement between Kiran and me. I don’t want to marry him. I’m sorry.” She swallowed. “I know the engagement was the perfect solution to our problems, but I’ve arrived at a different solution I’ll tell you about in a moment. For now I want to say, I’ve… I’ve met someone who’s become very important to me,” she said, smiling. “His name is Grey. It used to be Grey Emerson.”
There was a long, shocked silence.
“The Emerson boy has become important to you?” Appa’s voice finally bellowed down the phone. “A member of the family that tried to destroy our family’s reputation! And you’re calling off an engagement with the Hegde heir for him? Are you mad, Jaya?”
Jaya could hear Amma’s more soothing voice trying to placate her father. “Actually,” she said, her voice slicing over both of theirs. “The one who leaked Isha’s photographs and the one who added fuel to the fire with the pregnancy rumors was Kiran Hegde. Not the Emersons. In fact, I’ve already spoken to Kiran about it. He’ll be issuing a public apology in the papers very soon. I think our problems are over. The Hegdes will be facing the wrath of the people now, and rightly so, I’d say.”
There were spluttering noises from both her parents. Finally, Appa said, “Kiran leaked the pictures? He was behind the whole thing?” He was clearly apoplectic.
“Yes, but I’ve taken care of it, as I’ve said. Appa, Amma, I know the Emersons have done a lot to the Raos over the years, and the Raos have retaliated. But here’s the thing—Grey isn’t an Emerson anymore. He’s renounced his title.”
“So the boy isn’t even an aristocrat anymore?” her father said. It was clear he was reeling from all the news she was throwing at him.
“No, he isn’t,” Jaya said, squeezing Grey’s hand.
“But, Jaya—” her father began.
“Adip, please,” Amma cut in. “Listen to what she’s saying. Listen to her. Doesn’t she sound happy? The one we picked for her, Kiran, has turned out to be…” She could hear all of Amma’s etiquette training pushing against her need to really lay into Kiran. “Well. I don’t think this is a bad thing. Let her be happy. Let her live her life while she’s young.”
Appa grumbled, but didn’t disagree. Jaya plunged on. “Speaking of, I have two other things to tell you: One, Isha will be taking robotics classes while she’s here at St. Rosetta’s. I think it’s a wonderful idea. I think she might just turn out to be the first female Rao engineer. And two: Regarding college, I’m taking a gap year after my senior year of high school. I want to travel.” She took a breath and felt Grey rub his thumb over her knuckles. She gave him a grateful smile. Birds tweeted in the trees above them; mild choking sounds emanated from the phone.
“Well,” Amma said finally. “I think you’ve rendered your father speechless, Jaya. This is… quite a lot of news to digest.”
“I know.” Jaya sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to stress you both out. However, as you know, I’ve been a very dutiful daughter and I’ve been thinking—maybe it’s time I find out what I think about some of these things.”
“Learning lessons on your own gets you hurt,” her father said gruffly. “That’s our job as parents, to teach you those lessons so you don’t have to get hurt.”
Jaya softened. “I know, Appa. And you’ve taught me so well. But now… now I want to see the world through my own eyes. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to come back and help you manage the estate or lead our people. I’m proud of our traditions, of my heritage, of the fact that I’m a Rao heiress. Nothing will ever change that. But I also want to find out who Jaya is besides a Rao princess.” She paused. “Does that make sense?”
In the long silence that followed, Jaya met Grey’s eye and shrugged. Her mouth was dry. What were her parents up to?
Finally, Appa spoke quietly. “Yes,” he said. “Yes, it does. Jaya, you are brave to say all that you have said. I can’t say that I agree with it all, but I do respect you for saying it. There’s a lot to digest and think about, but the most important thing, I suppose, is that you must be feeling these things quite strongly to say them to us in this way.”
“You’ll always be our daughter, Jaya,” Amma said, her voice trembling at the edges. “We have much to discuss and perhaps some things to compromise on, but the most important thing is that we just want you to be happy.”
“I want that too,” Jaya said, smiling. She stepped in closer to Grey and leaned her head against his chest. “I want to be happy.”
Grey
She did it. She really, really did it. She wanted to proclaim to the world how she felt about him, and the fact that they were together. It felt like a dream.
Once she ended the call, she and Grey stood together in silence for a minute, gazing at each other, contemplating the future that lay before them like a glittering, unknowable treasure chest. Then Jaya wrapped her arms around Grey’s waist and looked up at him through the thick fringe of her eyelashes. “So, then. Do I have to beg for a kiss?”
“No begging necessary, Princess,” Grey murmured, bringing his lips down to hers until they were just a breath apart. Every nerve ending sang in joy. “Isn’t it funny? The beautiful princess did turn the beast into a man after all.”
“But here’s a secret,” Jaya whispered against his mouth, sending waves of desire down his spine. “The beast was the handsome prince all along. He just didn’t know it. Happy birthday, Grey.”
When their lips met, they kissed like they had never kissed before: hunger and longing and relief and love all rolled into one ecstatic moment. When they pulled apart, Jaya studied him, her eyes sparkling. “So this is it, then.”
“This is what?” Grey asked, stroking her cheek. He could hold her like this forever and never grow tired.
“Our fair
y-tale ending.”
Smiling, Grey said, “Happily ever after.”
Acknowledgments
Escaping into the world of Of Curses and Kisses was such a decadent treat that most days spent working on this book didn’t even feel like work. When I wasn’t actively writing about Jaya and Grey, I was thinking about them, and when I was unconscious for a third of every day, they occupied my dreams.
A big thank-you to my editor, Jen Ung, my publisher, Simon Pulse, and my agent, Thao Le, without whose belief and optimism this universe wouldn’t exist.
To the writers I’ve met and befriended, who’ve kept me sane and feeling not-alone, including but not limited to: Sabina Khan, Stephanie Garber, Karen McManus, Bill Konigsberg, Roselle Lim, Kathleen Glasgow, Shea Earnshaw, Karen Strong, Sabaa Tahir, Amy Spalding, Kayla Cagan, Samira Ahmed, Mackenzi Lee, Becky Albertalli, Adam Silvera, and so many others I couldn’t even hope to list them all here, I’m so happy we’re all in this together.
To the bookstores, booksellers, teachers, and librarians who’ve championed my books from day one: Thank you so very, very much.
To my family: You’re the reason I wake up feeling like I’ve won the lottery every single day.
To my readers: I appreciate every single one of you and your support, enthusiasm, and love. I hope you enjoy escaping into the world of St. Rosetta’s as much as I have.
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About the Author
Author photo copyright © 2018 by Dana Foster Photography
SANDHYA MENON is the New York Times bestselling author of several novels with lots of kissing, girl power, and swoony boys. Her books have been featured in several cool places, including the Today Show, Teen Vogue, NPR, BuzzFeed, and Seventeen. A full-time dog servant and part-time writer, she makes her home in the foggy mountains of Colorado. Visit her online at sandhyamenon.com
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