by Rose Gordon
“Actually,” Caroline said calmly. “It’s more of a common mistake than you think. During certain times of the year, the bees are inside the hive and it’s possible for the hive to look completely abandoned.”
Alex smiled smugly at his dumbfounded brothers.
“Beauty and brains,” Henry marveled. “She’s perfect.”
“Especially for Alex,” Elijah agreed.
Alex grinned at them again then whistled as he pulled out the drawer where he kept his ongoing experiments. “Don’t mind me,” he said casually, making a big show of leafing through the pages. “I plan to take your earlier advice and read through my experiments while you three chat it up about me.”
“Very well,” Caroline said sweetly before she turned to look at each of his brothers. “I’ve been wondering something, fellows.”
“Yes?”
“Which of you carved Alex’s name in the pink pall mall mallet?”
Laughter filled the room and Alex couldn’t hide his grin. They’d never tell her. They’d never told him, and he’d been asking since it happened more than ten years ago.
The three started whispering and laughing again, warming Alex’s heart anew. To have his wife be so well-liked by his family was a boon in and of itself. But to give his wife the family she’d never had was beyond worth.
He leafed through the pages and froze when his eyes landed on the front page of the bundle of notes he’d used for his “experiment” in wooing Caroline. Nausea swept over him and his stomach clenched. How could he have been so careless as to treat her as nothing more than an experiment?
His fingers itched to ball it up and throw it in the rubbish bin on the spot. But he couldn’t do that. If he did, he’d likely draw their attention, and Caroline would want to know what he was throwing away. He glanced at the fire. He could casually drop it in and hope she had enough sense not to try and pull it out. No, that wouldn’t work. She was smart enough not to pull a burning piece of paper out of the fire, but the fire was across the room. There was no way to casually put it in there. Walking across the room to drop something in the fire when there was a perfectly good rubbish bin at his feet would definitely rouse curiosity.
Quietly, he folded the papers and shoved them in his breast pocket. He could dispose of them later.
He grabbed a random sheet from the remaining stack and pretended to read it while he leaned back in his chair and watched the three on the settee.
“Mr. Banks,” Johnson said from the door. “Your mother has requested your presence downstairs.” The grim look on Johnson’s face did not bode well for what was about to happen downstairs.
Alex hastily excused himself from the room. Caroline was safe with his brothers. They may be shameless flirts, but they were harmless, shameless flirts.
He didn’t have to follow Johnson to know where his mother was requesting his presence. He knew. He walked down the stairs and to the little room his father had taken up residence in. Uncle John was just coming through the door when he arrived and patted Alex on the shoulder as he went inside.
His father lay deathly still on the bed. Standing to either side of him was Alex’s mother and the physician.
Father’s chest raised and lowered very slowly as he labored to breathe. “Alex,” he wheezed.
“I’m here, Father.” Alex walked up to the other side of the bed.
His mother looked up at him with tears in her eyes before leaving the room, murmuring something about giving them a moment alone as she went. Behind her was the physician. He paused a minute to whisper to Alex that Father’s condition was worsening and he didn’t expect Father would make it through the night.
Alex went numb and slightly nodded his understanding of the news.
“Alex, my boy,” Father said weakly after the door closed again.
“Yes?”
Father coughed and Alex helped to wipe his mouth. “I wanted to talk to you about Caroline.”
“What about her?” Alex asked, shocked. His father was dying and he wanted to talk about Alex’s wife?
“Be good to her, son. Treat her right or you’ll lose her,” he said, his voice gravelly and broken.
“I will,” he vowed, though the papers burning the inside of his breast pocket demonstrated the exact opposite. The taste in his mouth went sour with disgust for his past actions toward her.
“Good. See to it that you do. She deserves the best life has to offer.”
“I know.”
“Take care of them all, son. They all depend on you far more than you know.”
He nodded as emotion clogged his throat, making words impossible to speak.
“I’ve a letter for you to give your sister. It’s on the table.”
He nodded again.
“I’d like to see your brothers.”
Alex got up and walked to the door, ready to send for them. Father’s time was too short for him to wait to send for them.
“Wait, Alex. Don’t call them yet.”
Alex sat back down and looked at his father, willing the overwhelming pain settling in his chest to go away. He’d never survive the night if it didn’t.
Father’s thin, bony hand grabbed the edge of his blanket and lowered it enough to see Alex better. “I want you to know, Alex, I’ve always been proud of you. There’s never been a second when I’ve doubted your decisions.” He grinned in a way that momentarily transformed his face to resemble the man Alex had grown up watching smile and laugh. A man without illness or pain. Just a man full of pure joy and happiness. “I know you’ve taken a hassling, even from me, for being as proper and dependable as a straight pin, with an identical personality, but it was all said good-naturedly and you know that. It’s what makes you you and what I admire most about you, son. I never worried in all your years of schooling that you’d embarrass me or bring shame on my name. And I thank you for that.”
“But I did embarrass your name. Once.”
“No. Not even then,” Father said, seeming to know exactly when that once had referred to. “You did the right thing. Even if it turned out badly, your intentions were good, and that night, more than all others, I was proud to claim you as my son. And I still am, Alex.”
Tears stung the back of his eyes and he blinked them away before his father made a jest about it being unmanly to cry. “Thank you, Father.”
“No, Alex. Thank you. I may be the older man, the one who is supposed to be admired, but it was you I’ve always admired.” His throat worked to swallow and his breathing grew louder. “Even when you were a boy, I admired you. Partly because you shared my love for science, but mostly because you always managed to do the right thing.”
Alex closed his eyes, paralyzed. He had no idea his father had thought so much of him all this time. Of course he’d never intentionally brought shame or embarrassment to his father’s door. That was part of being a good son, wasn’t it?
“I won’t get the chance to meet the children you have with Caroline, but I’ll go to my grave—according to the physician, that will occur sometime tonight,” he paused to smile at Alex and wait for him to acknowledge his weak attempt of a joke with a slight smile. “Anyway, I’ll go knowing I would have loved them and been as proud of them as I am of you. With parents like you and Caroline, I’ve no doubt my title will one day pass into hands of yet another capable, judicious man.”
“Thank you again, Father,” Alex said solemnly, forcing himself to stand up before his father could praise his black soul any further. “I’ll send Mother in while Henry and Elijah are being located.” He silently pocketed the letter for Edwina and left the room to do his tasks.
He sent his mother in and waited with Uncle John while the butler went to find his brothers. It seemed those two had bloody good timing to show up today, rain and all.
“I’m sorry for your loss, Alex,” Uncle John said softly. “I remember it hurt your father far more than the rest of us when my father passed.”
Alex nodded numbly. His uncle had been
a minister for decades, but just now his condolence speech wasn’t doing the trick for Alex. He longed to be alone more than anything. “Would you come get me when everyone else has finished?” He pointed to a door just down the hall. “I’ll be right in there.”
His uncle agreed and Alex walked down the hall and into the room he’d always known as his father’s study.
He quietly shut the door and walked to the big desk that sat in the middle of the room. So many times he’d been in this room in the past almost thirty years. When he was a little boy, he’d follow Father in here and marvel at all his books and science equipment. Sometimes Father would help him take apart his automata toys and show him the gears and pulleys inside.
His favorite thing they’d done together in here was when he was six. They built an automata of four couples waltzing that his father had designed for his mother. When Father asked Alex if he’d like to help him put it together, he’d nearly burst with excitement and pride. When they were done, he watched the couples in fascination as they danced all over the box every time he spun the dial. His fascination and attachment were so strong, when it was time to give it to Mother, he cried, not wanting to depart with it. His mother let him keep it. A hint of a smile touched his lips. He still had that old automata. Caroline would probably like it.
He walked around the desk, not daring to sit in the large chair like he had so many times before. After Cambridge, he’d treated this room as his own on many occasions. Father hadn’t minded. Actually, he’d been the one to invite Alex to use it. They’d work on science experiments together or have lengthy philosophical discussions in here, neither of them giving a second thought to which of them was sitting in the coveted chair behind the desk and which had to sit in one of the less comfortable chairs on the other side. He snorted. That wasn’t always the case. No, he’d spent many afternoons as a boy seated in one of those uncomfortable chairs, receiving a lecture on being a gentlemen or being interrogated when he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t have been. His father may have been right about him not publicly getting into trouble and embarrassing the family, but he must have forgotten all the scrapes Alex had gotten into around the estate over the years.
Alex found another empty chair and took a seat after removing his coat and laying it across the back. This room had always been Father’s. And right now it seemed as if it always would be. Alex had always opted to use the library when alone, his use of this room contingent on his father’s presence. He swallowed. Soon, too soon, this room would rightfully be his.
He bent his head and threaded his fingers though his hair, waiting to be summoned.
***
Caroline knew something wasn’t right even before Alex left the library. Everything seemed to change the moment Johnson walked in. Alex’s face turned serious and his posture was stiff as he left the room. Elijah and Henry must have taken note of Alex’s change as well because neither of them had any further interest in discussing Alex’s embarrassing secrets any more than she did.
She excused herself, murmuring something about seeing them again later as she went. Though she liked them both well enough and felt comfortable around them, she’d rather not be with them just now.
She had an idea where he’d gone. But that was his father. Her presence would be unwanted just now. Instead, she’d wait alone in a quiet parlor until Alex was ready to see her.
An hour or so later, Regina came in with her hair slipping from its pins, and tears streaking down her face. Caroline wound her arms around Regina and offered her the only thing she could: the support of another woman. She’d never lost a husband, so she couldn’t fully empathize. But she had known the hurt of losing others she was close to and tried to offer what support she could.
“I think it’s time for you to say goodbye,” Regina said, wiping her tears.
“Me?” Caroline asked weakly. She wasn’t sure Edward would really consider her important enough to him to spend his final moments in her company.
Regina sniffled and dragged her fingertip along the bottom of her red-rimmed eyes to dry her tears. “Yes, you.” She smiled weakly. “Edward’s had a tender spot for you since you were seven. Oh, don’t worry. I don’t know exactly what you did to make him so fond of you, but I could tell he liked you quite a bit when he’d ask your uncle to brag about his uncommonly intelligent niece.”
Caroline couldn’t stop the watery smile that took her lips. “All right. I’ll say goodbye.”
“Good. It will mean a lot to him. To both of them.”
Caroline understood her meaning perfectly. She also understood it would mean a lot to Regina, too, she was just too stubborn to say so. And, more than any of them, it would be meaningful for Caroline, too. She’d grown quite attached to the cheeky old fellow and was glad his family was allowing her the chance to go see him.
She nearly collided with Alex outside his father’s door and inwardly grinned at his appearance. He was clad only in his shirtsleeves and trousers, and of course, his hair resembled a porcupine.
“Are you going in?” he asked, his voice rough with emotion.
“Yes. I’ll just be a minute.”
He opened the door for her. “Do you mind if I join you, or would you like to be alone?”
She glanced at his father. There wasn’t anything he could say to her now that couldn’t be said in front of Alex. She grabbed Alex’s hand. “Come with me.”
Together they walked into the room, potentially for the last time as merely Mr. and Mrs. Alex Banks.
“Caroline, my gel,” Edward said, his breathing loud and labored. “Joined by none other than her doting groom.”
She smiled and kissed his sunken-in cheek. While she was close, she whispered her goodbyes as evenly as she could, considering it a success her voice only cracked twice and only four tears slipped out.
“Remember what I told you, gel.” Edward wiped away her tears with one long, thin finger. “You’re a special girl. Always were. But remember what I told you about my son.”
“I remember,” she said, choking on a sob. “I’d better leave so you can talk to Alex.”
“Now, why would I want to do that?” Edward asked loud enough for Alex to hear. “You’re so much better company than he is. Prettier, too.”
She smiled at him. “Goodbye, Edward.”
She dared not to look at Alex with the unshed tears in her eyes as she left him to be alone by his father’s side.
The hallway was full with the family sitting and standing about. Regina gave her a watery smile as John went into his brother’s room.
She didn’t want to stand in the hall with them, but she still wanted to be close in case she was needed. Spotting an open door just a few steps down the hall, she slipped inside. The room was large, massive even. It had bookshelves that lined the walls and reached to the ceiling. There was a large fireplace on the back wall and about half a dozen chairs and a giant desk in the middle of the room. This had to be the baron’s study.
This was not the room she wished to be waiting in. Caroline turned to leave and glimpsed Alex’s coat on one of the chairs. Likely he’d come from in here when they’d passed each other in the hall. She picked up his coat off the chair then hugged it close to her chest and closed her eyes. She inhaled deeply, letting her nose fill with his heady scent. She sighed. For a reason she couldn’t explain, that simple action had given her the greatest comfort. She opened her eyes and shook her head. His cravat was lying on the floor. She bent to pick it up and flung it over her shoulder. “Silly man,” she muttered, scooping up his waistcoat while she was down there.
Arms full of his clothes, she walked out the door.
“It appears Alex has once again lost his clothes,” Henry remarked when Caroline came into the hall carrying Alex’s clothes.
She shook her head sadly. At least, like their father, he could attempt a joke at such a low moment.
“You could have left those, dear,” Regina said. “The staff has been picking up Alex
’s discarded clothes for almost thirty years. They won’t know what to do with themselves if they don’t find any tomorrow.”
She smiled weakly. “I didn’t realize it was a daily ritual for the staff to comb the house in search of the clothes Alex wore the previous day. Should I just drop these here in the hall, then? I wouldn’t wish to cause them any distress at not finding their daily treasure.”
The small group chuckled, and it seemed for a brief second, spirits and hearts lifted.
“You can stand with us,” Elijah offered.
She accepted his offer and went to stand by the identical brothers. A few minutes ticked by and one of the brothers left for a minute, coming back with two chairs. “Here, ladies. Have a seat.”
Regina sat down first and Caroline offered her thanks and took a seat, still holding Alex’s clothes, not wanting to let them go. The chair wasn’t overly comfortable, and she shifted to find a better position. It wasn’t working. She seemed to be sitting on her skirt in an awkward way. She carefully laid Alex’s things in her lap and pulled on the side of her skirt to free it from where it was bunched up underneath her. It didn’t come right away. Perhaps she should just stand and try sitting again. She looked down at Alex’s clothes on her lap. No, if she stood she’d have to hold his clothes in both hands again and she’d end up sitting on her skirt like this again. She’d just pull a little harder this time. “Oops,” she said, her skirt pulling free and Alex’s clothes spilling onto the floor.
“Here, allow me,” Henry offered, reaching down to pick up the fallen clothes. He handed her the silk cravat and waistcoat first.
She took them and folded them across her lap before holding her hand out for his coat. He handed her the coat and she put it with the other things across her lap.
“Dropped something.” Elijah leaned down to pick up what appeared to be several pieces of paper. He wordlessly handed her a sealed piece of vellum that had Edwina’s name on it. “This must have been one hell of an experiment,” he muttered, unfolding a small stack of bundled papers. “Oh, pardon my language.” He flickered a glance to his mother, who’d just coughed delicately.