“Hello.”
“Hi, just landed. How are you?”
“I’m okay. Just woke up.”
“I’m a little worried about you. You weren’t yourself this weekend.”
“I’m fine.”
“You know I’m here for you, right, Kendra?”
“Yeah, yeah, I know.”
“You would tell me if you needed anything, wouldn’t you?”
I rolled my eyes and walked to the bathroom. “I’m fine, Garrison. I just wasn’t feeling the best. I feel better since I had a nap. I’m fine, I promise.”
“Okay, well, you know I love you, right?”
What the hell? “Now you’re being weird,” I said, spinning the table.
“I’m not trying to be. I just want you to know that I am here for you, and no matter how much I work, I’d put you first in a heartbeat.”
Wow… “Thanks, Garrison. That means a lot.”
“I’ll let you go. I hear that you’re a little busy.”
I smiled and said okay, but didn’t stop the stream of pee he was hearing. “I’ll talk to you later.”
That was the closest to I love you that I had ever gotten from Garrison, and extremely strange, like he sensed something.
Coming out of the bathroom, I actually smelled the food before Olivia knocked. “Yeah,” I called, glancing at the stuffed mouse lying face down on my bed.
“I cooked. Are you hungry?”
“Yes. I think I am,” I decided, following her out. Maybe Olivia being here wasn’t so bad after all. We sat out on the deck and ate a fantastic new creation from the leftovers the caterers made the day before.
“You want to go out on the yacht and watch fireworks?” I asked Olivia out of the blue. I didn’t need Sam. I had a boat.
“Okay, but do you have a driver?”
“I can drive us.” How hard could it be?
Olivia frowned at me and leaned a little, looking over my shoulder.
“I think that is a horrible idea,” Sam said from the top step.
I turned, causing a sudden pain in the side of my neck from the jerk. “Great,” I said, turning back to my food. “Can you leave us, Olivia?”
“No, don’t. Finish your food,” Sam overruled me.
“What do you want?” I asked, looking to the now very uncomfortable Olivia.
“I come to beg you and your friend to go out on the boat and watch fireworks with me.”
“She’s not my friend. You mean with you and your kid?”
“I’m leaving,” Olivia said, standing. Sam let her take her plate and walk inside.
“Well, that was rude,” Sam accused, taking a piece of shrimp from my plate and popping it in his mouth.
“So was that.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I smartly replied, twirling noodles around my fork.
“You’ve been acting like bitch ever since I told you about Savannah. Why? Just come out with us and meet her.”
“Sam,” I said, raising my voice. “Why? What’s the point in that?”
“The point in what? You’re making a big deal over nothing. You’re just going to hang out with us. No one in my family knows anything. As far as they’re concerned, you’re a client and a friend. What’s the big deal?”
“I’m not good around kids.”
“You’ve never been around kids.”
“I’ve been around kids all weekend. I hate them. I wanted to suffocate all of them.”
“You were around spoiled little rich kids. Not all kids are fortunate to get to grow up with the almighty dollar like you.”
“You have no idea how I grew up.”
“Oh, okay, Ms. Fancy Pants. Tell me. Tell me you didn’t live in a mansion. Tell me you didn’t go to some elite school for the rich and famous. Tell me you didn’t have money. How many nights in a row did you have hamburger helper because it was a cheap way to feed a family of eight?”
My mind was having a hard time not going back there. I could have told him I’ve eaten out of dog food bowls. I went to bed hungry, watching my sisters feed their face many times. I could have told him so much it would have knocked him off his chair. I didn’t. I got defensive.
“You’re absolutely right. My life has always been full of lavish luxuries. Why the fuck do you think I need you?”
“Whoa, Kendra. I’m just trying to get you to come out and have some fun. I know you’ve been stuck here with these people you didn’t want to be around. I thought it would be nice to come out and have some fun with my family and me. I’m sorry. I in no way wanted to piss you off.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t come out with you and your family.”
“Please.”
“Why?”
“For one, it’s important to me. I miss you, and two, you wouldn’t even know how to start that boat.” I smiled a little when he nudged my chin with his finger and smiled. “Please.”
“You’re going to do something really big for it later.”
“Can’t. Savannah goes home tomorrow. I’ve got to stay in with her.”
“I’m being put on the back burner for a five-year-old?”
“Six, she’s going into the first grade this year.”
“I don’t need to go spend the evening with your family. I’m fine. We can see the fireworks from the beach.”
“No, you can’t. It’s not even in the same ballpark. You see that barge way out there?” Sam asked pointing out to the ocean. “That’s where they set them off. You need to be out there so they rain down on you. Seeing them from here isn’t going to do it for you. Trust me. Please come with me.”
“Fine, fine, you big whiny baby. I’ll go, but I still don’t know why it’s so important. I’m going to feel really weird around your family.”
“I promise my family will not make you feel weird. And it’s important because I was wrong about you.”
“What do you mean?”
“You don’t need to be domesticated at all. You’ve been domesticated your entire life. You need to be set free, spread your wings and fly.”
I snickered. “That’s the gayest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. I am very well-traveled, thank you very much.”
“Yeah, you’re well-traveled to exotic places, fine restaurants, and fancy resorts. But tell me, on which one of those trips did you have as much fun as the amusement park? Did you laugh? Have you ever laughed that much in your life, Kendra?”
Well hell. “No,” I admitted to not only him, but myself, as well.
Our serious conversation was suddenly over when both our eyes shifted to an old lady on a beach. The same kid that ran over me with the Frisbee, plowed her over and took off running.
“Come on, let’s go help her,” Sam said, jumping up.
“We should mind our own business,” I protested, standing. Sam ignored me and took the steps, two at a time. Of course, I followed.
“Help her with her things. I’m going to fetch her daughter for her,” Sam ordered me when I reached the frail old lady, who was now sitting in the sand.
Not really knowing what to do, I knelt beside her and gathered her things. She sadly smiled up at me.
“Are you hurt?” I asked.
“Just my elbow, other than that, I think I’m okay. Thank you, sweetie,” the old lady said, taking my hand with hers.
I used her towel and wiped the sand from the side of her face. “I’m sorry that idiot knocked you down like that,” I said. If I ever saw that kid again, I would personally kick his ass.
The little old lady took a five dollar bill from her wallet and smiled up at me, speaking in a wise, raspy tone. “Sometimes you need to be knocked off your feet to know what’s important in life. I’m a firm believer in everything happening for a reason.”
“No. I’m not taking your money,” I protested, pushing her wrinkled arthritic hand away.
“You and your husband were the only two out of all of these people to come and help me,” she said, looking at the
few people and putting the money back in my hand. “Please take it. It would please me very much.”
I took her five dollars and backed up when Sam and the lady’s daughter helped her to her feet. She thanked me again, and Sam helped the daughter walk her back to their home. I didn’t follow. Instead, I stood there, staring at the stretched five-dollar bill in my hand. I was twenty-nine and that was the first five dollars I truly felt like I earned in all my life. It felt good.
“Meet me at seven at my place,” Sam said, turning to look at me. “And bring your friend, no sense in her staying home alone when we have plenty of room.”
I nodded, holding the money that I knew I would never spend in my hand. It was too special. I stood there like an idiot, thinking about what Sam said before the old lady was thrown to the sand. He was right. I had never lived a day in my life before I met Sam. I’d spent my entire life doing what other people told me to do. For the first time in my life, I didn’t want to be domesticated.
“I’m fine here, I promise,” Olivia complained not wanting to go.
“If I have to go, you have to go. Here, this will look nice on you,” I said, handing her the frayed jean shorts and pink Minnie Mouse T-shirt. I dressed like Olivia, jean shorts and a tee with a little green frog holding a daisy. I bought them both at one of the little shops on Seafood Strip. I would drop them off at the local thrift store before heading home with Garrison. I didn’t wear cartoon character shirts in Hartford.
Olivia grumbled about not knowing anyone as we set out on foot to our destination. I reminded her that she had often accompanied me around people she didn’t know. “You should be happy. These people are more your class,” I said, before stopping. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by that.” Shit. What the hell was happening with me? Why would I feel bad for saying that?
Sam was tossing one of those spongy footballs to a teenage boy on the beach when we neared. “Go long!” he called, drawing back his arm.
“No!” I protested in a yell. Of course, ignorant, do-what-you-want Sam threw the ball to me anyway. I missed on purpose and called him an idiot. His young friend laughed.
“Throw it back, pansy,” he called. I did. I flung the ball as hard as I could, right to his face. He caught it and bragged about my arm. I only threw it that hard because I was trying to hit him in the nose with it.
“I really like Sam,” Olivia quietly said beside me.
Turning to look at her, I got a little defensive. “We’re just friends. There is nothing going on between Sam and me.”
“Okay,” she said and shrugged. What the hell did that mean? Sam introduced me to his nephew Collin and bragged about him, too, explaining how he was going to play for the New York Giants when he was older.
The next twenty minutes was spent introducing not only me, but Olivia as well to his family. All of his family! He saved the best for last and scooped the little girl up, turning her upside down.
“This little person here, is um, hmm, wait, I got it,” he teased, flipping her upright in his arms.
“Dad!” she playfully badgered back.
“Oh! Oh! I got it. Savannah!” he joked.
The cute little girl held out her hand and I took it. She shook two hard shakes, and in the cutest little kid voice ever, said, “It’s a pressure to meet you.”
“Pleasure,” Sam corrected.
“For real? I fought it was pressure.”
“No, and it’s not fought either. It’s thought,” he corrected again, tickling her. “Go find Alissa. Let’s get this boat on the road.”
“I don’t think you should teach her. I like pressure and fought better.” I smiled at Sam.
“I’m a school teacher, I can’t help it. I really want to kiss your frog,” he joked.
I looked down at my shirt and laughed. “I really want you to kiss my frog,” I agreed.
Not in a million years would I have guessed the night I was about to have. Sam’s family was nothing like I had could have ever imagined. They were so much fun. I loved the way his sisters badgered him, picking on him, and the way all the adults were with the kids. The kids were a big part of the family and little Savannah was nothing like the little girls I was used to.
Savannah was a little monkey, and either Sam or someone else constantly had to make her get down from climbing. Once, she was halfway up a flagpole. I laughed at that silly kid so much, and the more beer was consumed, the more I lightened up. Olivia was a kid magnet; they all went to her. I loved hearing the way she talked to them. She would be a great mother. I was sure of that.
I was standing alone, smiling at little Savannah when she beat her Grandpa Mike at arm wrestling. She stood and did some little victory dance, making up words as she sang about being stronger than him. It made me happy, seeing them all so close and happy. Sam was right. Money couldn’t buy this.
“She’s one of a kind,” Sam’s mom said from my side. I hadn’t even seen her walk up to me. Shit! I didn’t want to be alone with Rita.
“She sure is a cutie,” I agreed. What the hell was I supposed to say to this woman?
I didn’t have to worry about saying anything. Rita was just like Sam. She was so easy to talk to. She pointed around the boat, telling me stories of each and every one of her family members. Rita was in love with all of them. I laughed with her as much as I did with Sam, right up until she walked away to lift Savannah down from trying to open an umbrella, standing in the center of the table.
“I better go keep her from breaking a bone,” she teased.
I smiled after her, feeling a motherly bond of nostalgia that I had no right to feel. I never had that with my mother. How can you be homesick for something you’ve never had?
“This isn’t so bad, now is it?” Sam asked, handing me a plate with a hotdog with onions, chili, and mustard and a side of chips.
“I hate onions.”
“These are sweet onions. Eat it.”
Snarling my nose, I picked up the messy hotdog and took a bite, sending the sauce right down my shirt.
Sam looked right at the spilling sauce and quietly said, “Now I want to lick your frog.”
“You can lick my frog,” I agreed in the same quiet tone away from earshot of his family.
“We better stop before I bend you over the sink in the bathroom,” Sam decided.
“You idiot. Did you have to say that?” Jesus, he knew how sensitive I was to things like that. I wasn’t like the normal girl he was used to picking up in the town bar. I took things like that literal and couldn’t stop thinking about it.
“I’ll just walk away and get us another beer,” Sam said, leaving me to my hotdog.
Savannah joined me with a hotdog of her own. “Hey, you can lift me up there?” she asked, wanting to sit on the ledge where I was standing. I smiled and set my plate to the table. It would be okay as long as I kept my arm around her.
This kid was nothing like the kids I was used to being around. I freaking loved her. She told me about having the same shirt as me, but only it was too big, so she used it to as a nightshirt.
“My daddy bought it at that place with all the food,” she explained. I told her I got mine there, too.
“Yeah, and trying to tell the little turd it’s too big is like pulling teeth. Hop down from there before you fall,” Sam said, taking Savannah.
“Where’s her mom?” I asked.
“Back home. I get Savannah four weeks every summer. I normally break it up into two.”
“Where’s home?” I asked, curious for the first time.
“Baylortown, North Carolina. It’s barely on the map, one of those small towns that if you blink while going through it, you’ll miss it.”
“Does Savannah live there, too?”
“She lives pretty close, half hour north of there. Her mom’s a pharmacist. After the divorce, she moved closer to the hospital where she works.”
“So you get her like every other weekend?”
“That’s the way it’s written
up, but we don’t really go by it. Sierra lets me get her whenever I want. I can’t go more than a couple days without her in my life. I’ll go pick her up a couple times a week and either take her out to supper or bring her home, then drive her back in the morning. It works for us. Being here away from her this much is tough, but I needed the summer job.”
I didn’t quite know what to say. Listening to Sam talk about how much he loved his daughter was foreign to me. I couldn’t imagine my dad being as infatuated with me as Sam was with Savannah. You could see the fascination in his eyes when he looked at her. I smiled, looking at her, too. She just giggled the loudest giggle in the world when Uncle Fat did the same thing I did, and soaked his shirt with chili. He scooped her up and pretended to throw her overboard, feeding her to the fish.
The ice I was treading on was thinner than I had ever walked on before. Watching the way this family interacted showed me something I had never seen before. There was no doubt in my mind that this family would die for one another. Olivia surprised me, too. She was a social butterfly around these people, unlike me, the awkward one who had been taught from birth that you speak when spoken to. Olivia was a natural. I was the outsider, looking in. For the first time in my life, I didn’t want to be the outsider.
“What are you thinking about?” Sam asked, coming to my side again.
I took a drink of beer and smiled over at him. I’m not sure if he saw or not. Darkness fell and just as he asked it, someone dimmed the lights on the yacht. The family gathered around the front of the boat, excited for the light show about to start.
“I was thinking about how well Olivia fits in with your family. She seems happy.”
“What about you? Are you happy, Kendra?” Sam asked in a serious, quiet tone.
I smiled a sad smile over to him. I couldn’t answer that question. I didn’t know how.
“Come here, munchkin,” Sam called to Savannah. Savannah ran to him and he lifted her to the edge of the boat again. We faced the ocean, waiting for the show to start. Something was happening. Something big. The way Sam and I stood side by side with Savannah between us did something to me. I was in love. I was in love with Sam, I was in love with this family, and I was in love with this little girl. How could that be? I hated kids with everything in me, except one, this one.
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