I nod before I can say no.
He knocks the blankets down so we can stand instead of crawling out. He pulls me up after he stands and I follow him up the stairs, my heart thudding and echoing with every step. Holy shit. This is happening. I’m about to sleep with my boss. My deep breath is loud enough that Elias glances at me as he closes the door to his room.
“Changing your mind?” He doesn’t look mad with his question. Mostly curious and maybe on the verge of being slightly let down.
“What if this messes things up?”
“I don’t think it will, but if it does, we’ll fix it. You want to stay and I don’t want you to go anywhere. That’s why we’ll fix it.”
I nod, reassured by his words. Elias walks further into his room and I follow him. “What happens afterward?” Do things go back to normal? Do we sometimes sleep with one another? What?
Elias sits on his bed, reaches out, and pulls me to stand between his knees. “What would you like to happen? For this to be a one-time thing? For it to happen again? For me to take you out on a date instead of that prick, Collin?”
A giggle escapes before I can help myself. Elias smiles. “Collin’s a prick now?”
He nods. “I only sent you on a date with someone because I was hoping it’d make me stop thinking about you. It backfired big time.” He slowly pushes my shirt up, my muscles tensing in anticipation as his fingers graze my skin. “Do you want to take the risk with me, Raelynn?”
“Yep.”
His grin leaves me breathless. It’s the first of many times tonight he takes my breath away. Being with Elias is not as scary as I thought it would be, considering he’s the first person I’ve been with since Henry, since having Jackson. It’s seamless and feels like one of the best decisions I’ve made in a long time.
Waking up with Raelynn makes the morning a little brighter than usual. I kept waiting for her to say no last night, but she never did. It almost seems surreal. Are we sure last night happened? That she’s here in my bed right now? I close my eyes and open them again.
Yep, she’s still here.
I set my alarm before we went to bed and it went off a second ago. I kiss Raelynn and she hums.
“Time to wake up.”
“No,” she grumbles. “It’s not fair that your bed is this comfortable.”
“Yours isn’t?” I’ve never slept in that room, obviously.
“Not this comfortable.” She sighs and opens her eyes. “I should get up, though. The longer I stay, the worse it’ll be, right?”
My lips dip in a frown. “What do you mean?”
“You know. It’s better to suck it up, face the cold air, and rush to the bathroom for a shower than to stay here and think about it while being underneath the blankets.”
Oh. For a second, I thought she was somehow talking about us. Raelynn rolls away from me and gets out of bed, snatching a T-shirt to pull over her head. She pauses after she picks up the rest of her clothes.
“Whatever we’re doing, let’s not do in front of Jackson, okay? For now, at least.”
“Yeah, no problem.”
“Thanks.” She scurries out of my room with that covered.
I might as well get up as well. Part of what Raelynn said bugs me. The whatever we’re doing part. I thought we settled it last night that we’d see where things go with us. That means dating, not “whatever we’re doing.” Maybe she was simply nervous at the idea of me kissing her in front of Jackson and that flubbed her words. Either way, I want to make sure she knows I don’t want this to be a one-time thing.
If Henry wasn’t coming over, I’d take her out tonight. Tomorrow, we have a game. Maybe Deanna and Brayden will watch the kids Wednesday or Thursday for me to take her out. He always complains I never let him babysit. Now, he can.
By the time Bree and I make it downstairs, Raelynn is in the kitchen with Jackson, making breakfast.
“It’s not game day, J-man,” I say when I see he’s wearing his jersey. He got it last week when Deanna took him to a game for Raelynn. He usually tries to wear it on game days, as long as Raelynn doesn’t make him change into something else.
He shrugs. “I know. But maybe if I wear it today and tomorrow, you’ll score two goals.” Jackson thinks he and his jersey are my good luck charms since I scored a goal when he first wore it.
“You’re not wearing it two days in a row, Jackson,” Raelynn quickly shoots him down.
“Please? It’s for Mr. EJ!”
“You can wear it for the game tomorrow, but not to school.”
Jackson frowns, but doesn’t argue with her anymore. He looks at me. “Do you think it’ll still work?”
“It might.” He’ll be disappointed if I don’t score two goals tomorrow and he’ll think it didn’t work, that his good luck is fading. Who knew the most pressure I’d feel would come from a five-year-old? “Do you need help, Raelynn?”
“No, I’ve got it. Thanks.”
She normally turns me down unless she’s running behind. I get busy feeding Bree.
“Will today be the day, princess?” I ask her. “Are you going to say DaDa? Or stick with Ja-Ja as your favorite?” Bree smiles at me. “DaDa,” I say, pointing at myself.
“DaDa!” she shouts, slamming her hands on the table. I stare, stunned. She reaches over to where Jackson is and continues talking in her baby language. But hold the phone. My baby just said DaDa! Laughter racks my chest as I stand and pick her up, holding her in the air above me. She laughs now.
“Say it again.” She doesn’t. I bring her down and look at Raelynn, who smiles. “Did you hear her? She said it! She said DaDa!”
“Yeah, I heard her. She yelled it to shut you up,” she teases.
I laugh. “Don’t try and ruin my moment.”
Not much can take this away from me. I ride on cloud nine for the rest of the day. We don’t have practice today, so I have to settle for texting Brayden the news. I’ll have to tell everyone else tomorrow. I hang out with Bree and don’t do much else. Well, I watch Raelynn do schoolwork and worry herself.
“It’ll be fine,” I tell her for the fifth time. With Henry coming tonight to meet Jackson, Raelynn is wound up tighter than I’ve ever seen her.
“I have a bad feeling. Maybe my bad feelings are like yours.” She closes her laptop and steals Bree from my lap.
“Well, I have a good feeling, so there. And I’ll be here, lurking in the background, ready to jump in and be prince charming to save the day if needed.”
Bree rests her head on Raelynn’s shoulder as Raelynn gives me a smile. It’s time for my princess to take a nap and she knows it.
“You’d make a good prince charming.”
“Think so?”
She nods, rubs Bree’s back, and laughs a little. “And I’m the perfect example of a damsel in distress.”
“No, you’re not.” I completely disagree with her. “You’ve raised Jackson for five years on your own. No one swooped in to save you. You’re still kicking ass.”
Raelynn looks down at Bree as she shakes her head. “When I met you, we were essentially homeless that day.”
“But you made sure you found a job and a place to live. You are like a reigning queen, Raelynn. You might not always have your shit together, but no one singlehandedly saves you.”
She’s quiet for a moment before chuckling and looking over at me. “A queen? You’re delusional, Elias.”
I roll my eyes hard, which makes her smile. “So, would you be okay with Deanna and Brayden watching the kids Wednesday or Thursday?”
“What for?” she asks. Her confusion would be cute if I didn’t feel the reason should be obvious.
“For our date.”
Her eyes widen briefly in surprise. “Um.” Raelynn stands and I follow her as she heads upstairs to apparently lay Bree down in her crib. “I don’t know, Elias.”
“Why?” Is she changing her mind already?
She doesn’t answer me. Not right away at least. She lays a sleepin
g Bree down, watches her for a moment, and then takes my hand to lead me out of the room. “I already left Jackson once this week. I don’t know what’s going to happen today either. I just worry it might be too much happening all at once for him.”
I relax a little, knowing she’s only worried about Jackson.
“And if Henry finds out about this—”
“What does Henry have to do with it?” I interrupt.
She sighs and leans forward, resting her forehead on my chest. “When we ran into him? Collin and me, I mean. He kept asking where Jackson was. I told him, but was stupid enough to ask why it mattered. His answer was because he should be with me.” She looks up at me. “I threw my tea on him.”
“Raelynn,” I start to say something, but she cuts me off.
“I don’t know what came over me except anger. It was the first time I’ve been out without Jackson and he says that to me? Him of all people?” She shakes her head. “I can’t have Henry thinking I’m a bad mom,” she finishes in a whisper. “Or making me feel like one.”
Have I mentioned I don’t like Henry? Because I don’t. While I don’t think he’ll cause major problems, he’s obviously making waves with Raelynn. I pull her against me in a hug. “You just need to show Henry who’s boss until he figures out how to co-parent with you. Until he figures out how to be a parent, period. Don’t let him make you feel like shit, Raelynn. Do you know the best way to do that?” She looks up at me with questioning eyes. “You go out with me this week.”
She smiles. “You’re relentless.”
I take a step forward, which causes her to take one back. I keep doing this until we’re in my room. “That sounds like a yes.”
“It’s a maybe,” she counters. “What are we doing in here?”
“Bree’s napping. Jackson doesn’t have to be picked up for an hour.” I grin. “Whatever shall we do with that time?”
“Talk. Get to know each other.” Her smile matches mine and she lifts my shirt for me to take it off.
“We can do that when the kids are awake and present.” I dip my head to kiss her. We only have an hour and I plan to make good use of every second. I want to hear her moans, her sighs, and feel her body tense and relax beneath me. I want to get to know her this way, connect with her on this level, and get her even more comfortable being here.
Because here is right where I want her to be.
At exactly five thirty, the doorbell chimes throughout the house. Raelynn and I both stand. She might want to answer the door herself, but this is my house and I don’t like Henry, so I want to make sure he feels my presence. Raelynn stands slightly behind me as I open the door.
“Hey, Henry. Come on in.”
He steps inside and closes the door behind him. Raelynn grabs my shirt at my back, but quickly releases it. That’s the only sign she shows of her nerves.
“He’s in the living room,” she says, turning on her heel.
We follow after her. Jackson eyes Henry as Raelynn sits next to him. I sit next to her, picking up Bree, and Henry sits in the chair.
“Who are you?” Jackson asks.
Raelynn opens her mouth, but Henry replies first with, “I’m your dad.”
“Henry!” Raelynn shouts at him. Jackson frowns with confusion and crawls into Raelynn’s lap, hiding his face in her neck. “My way, Henry,” Raelynn reminds him. “My way or you can leave right now.” I want to kiss her for the steel resolve in her voice.
Henry nods and I’m glad he looks uncomfortable with Jackson’s reaction.
Raelynn takes a deep breath as she looks down at Jackson. “Baby, look at me for a second. We have to talk about something.” Jackson does as she requested. “That is your dad; his name is Henry. It takes a mom and a dad to have a baby, but sometimes, the baby only grows up with a dad, like Bree.” At this, Jackson glances over at me. “Sometimes, the baby grows up with only a mom, like how you’ve done so far. Sometimes, the baby always has his mom and dad. Sometimes, the baby grows up some and meets his mom or dad later, like you are right now. So, now, you have me and your dad, okay?” Jackson just stares at her.
“He’s going to have dinner with us tonight and you can get to know him. Does that sound like fun?” Jackson shakes his head no. “You don’t want to tell him about all the things you like to do and play with? Maybe he likes the same things.” Raelynn’s eyes widen in horror. “He might not know how to build a fort.” She gasps. “He might not even know what a fort is!”
Jackson doesn’t give a fuck what she says. He leans forward and hides his face again, making Raelynn sigh and look helplessly at me.
“Ja-Ja!” Bree leans over and slaps his back. That gets his attention.
“Maybe you should tell him about that,” I suggest. “That’s pretty cool.”
Jackson holds Bree’s outstretched hand, which makes her happy. He stays silent, though. This may be a disaster if we can’t figure out how to get Jackson to talk.
“You like hockey?” Henry asks him, deciding to take an initiative. “Whose jersey are you wearing?” If he doesn’t watch hockey, he might not know it’s mine. Plus, I can’t remember if I ever told him my last name.
Jackson sends him a look, but I can’t see what kind it is. “Mr. EJ’s.”
And we have contact!
Henry glances at me, but he keeps his face passive. “Is he your favorite player?” Jackson nods. “That’s cool. I bet you know more about hockey than I do. They use a ball, right?” He can’t be that stupid. And he’s not, because he gets Jackson talking finally.
“It’s a puck,” Jackson corrects. “There are three periods.” He slowly turns and angles toward Henry as he fills him in on all he’s learned about the game since living here. Raelynn leans back into the couch, relaxed now that things are transitioning the way she hoped.
Eventually, they move to the floor to build with Legos. Raelynn takes Bree from me, so I can cook the dinner we’re supposed to have. I decide since Jackson’s had a rough day, we can have his favorite: hotdogs and mac and cheese.
Raelynn appears with Bree as I get his plate ready.
“Everything going okay still?”
“Yeah. I was really worried for a second there.”
“You and me both.”
“Momma,” Jackson says as he comes into the kitchen with Henry trailing behind. “Are we going to the game tomorrow?”
“I don’t know, Jackson. It’s a school night.”
“Please? If I can’t wear my jersey to school again, then I have to wear it to the game for the good luck to work. Right, Mr. EJ?” His eyes are so hopeful.
“Don’t bring me into this, J-man. You going to the game is up to your mom.”
“But if I go, you might score two goals.” He even holds up two fingers for emphasis.
I laugh and Raelynn says, “I’m sure your good luck will reach him from here, baby. We’ll watch it on TV until it’s your bedtime.” Jackson frowns. “Don’t pout or we won’t go to a game this weekend. Why don’t you and Henry wash up for dinner?”
Jackson tells Henry to follow him and they leave to wash their hands in the downstairs bathroom. We set the table and everything is ready by the time they return. We start eating and things seem to be going fine.
“Is he moving in?” Jackson asks, pointing to Henry.
Raelynn drops her fork. “What? No. Why would you think that?”
“Bree lives with her dad,” he points out.
“Yes, but you live with me and Henry has his own house. He will come over here to see you and visit with you.”
Henry opens his mouth, but a glare from Raelynn causes him to shut it. Jackson accepts that answer and a few minutes later, he looks at me. “When can we go skating again?”
I briefly glance to Raelynn, but say, “Maybe one day this week.” I don’t know how to schedule time with Jackson when I don’t know how often Henry will want to see him. My answer already has Henry frowning, so I suspect he wants to see him as often as possible. “Maybe
your dad can come with us.”
“I can’t skate,” Henry says.
“Neither can Jackson,” I reply.
“Mr. EJ is teaching me,” Jackson adds. “I skated by myself some last time,” he says proudly.
I’m not exactly thrilled about the idea of Henry tagging along, but I didn’t invite him for me. Jackson may be talking to Henry now, which is a good step up compared to when Henry arrived, but when Henry goes to leave and Henry asks for a hug, Jackson hesitates. He wraps his arms around Raelynn’s leg instead. I’ve learned that’s one of his go-to moves when he’s uncomfortable. Henry offers a fist bump instead and Jackson doesn’t hesitate to give him that.
Jackson comes with me to read to Bree while I rock her to sleep and Raelynn says goodbye to Henry in private. I almost want to stay to make sure he’s not an ass to her, but I feel like she can handle him on her own.
I’m sitting in the recliner in Bree’s room with Bree in one arm, a book rests on my knee, and Jackson sits on my other side with his legs stretched out on the arm rest. I read about a chicken who thinks the sky is falling. By the time I finish, not only is Bree asleep, but so is Jackson. I’m stuck in place until Raelynn comes in; otherwise, I’ll wake one of them up.
While I wait and rock in the recliner, my mind wanders to Raelynn. Maybe she’ll at least sleep in my room again tonight. I’ve been with her for twenty-four hours and I already can’t get enough.
My heart swells and bursts at the sight of how cute Elias looks, sitting in the recliner with Bree asleep in one arm and Jackson asleep with his head on his shoulder. Elias grins like he knows I’m stunned stupid from how adorable they look.
“Can you help me? If you get her, I’ll take him,” he whispers.
A small pain twists my heart because my baby is too big for me to pick up and carry anymore without it being a serious struggle. I walk over to pick up Bree. She continues to sleep soundly as I lay her in the crib. I follow Elias over to Jackson’s bedroom. My son doesn’t stay asleep, which is fine by me. We get him ready for bed and changed into his pjs. Before Elias can leave the room, so I can tuck him in and say goodnight, Jackson says, “Mr. EJ, will you read to me tonight?”
Worth the Risk Page 9