by Sarra Cannon
36
Life Or Death
For the next few days, things seemed to settle into a more normal rhythm at school and at home. Jordan was gone, so I had no one to talk to about the questions and fears running through my mind, but in a way, his absence made it easier for me to slip back into my new normal.
My parents had let up a little on the after-school rules, but I still didn’t feel comfortable hanging out with my old friends. Honestly, I didn’t want to put any of them in danger. I was finding that I was so quick to anger these days.
It was getting harder and harder to sleep, and when I did, the nightmares were so terrifying they almost always woke me up.
I’d started drawing the symbol again, too. I usually didn’t even realize I was doing it, but sometimes I would drift off into my thoughts during class, only to realize later that I’d doodled the strange circles over and over again in the margins of my notes.
Whatever was happening to me was getting worse, and I prayed that Jordan came back soon with some answers. I needed his help.
By the time Thursday night rolled around, I was getting nervous. How was I going to get through a full appointment with Dr. Millner tomorrow without her realizing there was something going on with me?
After dinner, I stood in front of the mirror in my bathroom, practicing facial expressions and what I wanted to say to her when my phone buzzed with a new text from Jordan.
I was so relieved to see his name on my screen, I nearly cried.
I need to see you. Can you come outside?
When? Now?? I responded.
Yes. And could you bring a towel?
That last bit was accompanied by a wolf emoji, which made me laugh. Jordan Greycloud was outside my house somewhere naked. I would have to ask him how he still had his phone.
Give me a minute.
I checked my reflection in the mirror, noticing that my eyes had brightened just from the thought of him.
I liked Jordan a lot more than I wanted to, but I wasn’t sure if it was just because he was helping me when I had been feeling lonely or if there was something real growing between us.
Now wasn’t the time to worry about it, though. I had to figure out how to get outside at this time of night without my parents noticing.
My mom was in the living room watching TV, and my dad was hidden away in his study working, as usual. I would have to go out the front door, but there was no way Mom wouldn’t see me.
I grabbed a towel from the linen closet in the hallway and tiptoed down the stairs. I peeked in on Mom, who was eating from a large bowl of popcorn and laughing at whatever was going on in her show. I made a break for the front door, but the second it opened, she called out to me.
“Marayah, where are you going?” she asked, sitting up.
I didn’t turn around, because I didn’t want her to see the towel in my hand. “I left something out in my car,” I said. “I’ll be right back.”
She settled against the cushions and went back to watching the screen. I sucked in a deep breath and walked out the front door.
I had no idea where I would find him, but I knew he wouldn’t be standing naked in the street, so I walked over to the wooded area on the side of the house.
“Jordan,” I whispered. “Where are you?”
“Over here,” he whispered back from somewhere behind the house.
I giggled and quickly made my way around the side of the house, praying none of our neighbors were nosy enough to be looking out their windows right now.
It was after nine and dark out, but the moon was almost full, and I could see his bare shoulder sticking out from behind a tree. My cheeks flushed, and I tossed him the towel.
“Thank you,” he said, wrapping it around his waist as I stepped closer. “Hazards of the job, so to speak.”
Was he blushing, too? It was hard to tell in the darkness.
“What’s so important that you had to run all the way here?” I still didn’t know where he lived, so I had no idea how far he’d come tonight, but if he’d taken the risk of shifting, it couldn’t be within easy walking distance.
“I made a few calls and reached out to some friends of my father’s,” he said. “There’s a medicine woman who knows about these types of ancient drawings and symbols. She’s agreed to meet with us tomorrow night, but it’s about a three-hour drive from here, and we need to get there before the full moon appears.”
“Wait, us?” I asked. “I can’t go anywhere tomorrow. I have that appointment.”
He cursed and the towel slid down over his hip bone. I forced myself to look away.
“You have to be there, Marayah. It’s important,” he said. “The medicine woman is gifted with a special kind of sight. If the evil spirit that’s following you now is inside you, she’ll be able to see it. She’ll be able to see how strong it’s gotten.”
“Inside me?” I asked, my chest growing tight. “I thought it was just influencing me. Following me or watching me. Not inside me. Wouldn’t I know if it was—”
“Not necessarily,” he said. “It depends how strong it is. And what it is. She’ll know these things, and she might be able to help us find a way to banish it or contain it. She will only agree to see you on the evening of the full moon, when the light is at its strongest. If we have to wait another month to see her, I’m afraid…”
His voice trailed off, and my heartbeat quickened.
“Afraid what?”
He looked at me, fear in his dark eyes. “I’m afraid we can’t wait that long,” he said. “Between the drawings, the voice in your head at the bridge, and now this fainting spell, I’m scared it’s growing stronger despite my brother’s medallion.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” I said. “If whatever this thing is has been living inside me since the night of the accident, why would it just now be gaining strength? Wouldn’t it have been worse when I was weak and in the hospital? I’m stronger now than ever.”
“I don’t have an answer for you,” he said. “That’s why we need to go to see this medicine woman.”
I shook my head and leaned against the tree for support. How in the world was I going to get out of this appointment with Dr. Millner?
I wouldn’t be done with that until six at the earliest. It would be too late to make the drive there before the sunset.
“Can’t you just tell your parents you have something else you need to take care of?” he asked.
He obviously didn’t know my parents.
“Like what, exactly? A pedicure?” I asked, crossing my arms. “They think I’m not handling the transition well, so they set up this appointment to basically get answers on whether I’m well enough to even be out of the hospital. They aren’t going to just let me skip it without a good reason. And by good reason, I mean life or death.”
“This is life or death,” he said.
“Maybe, but they don’t know that,” I said. “And I can’t exactly tell them the truth. That would be a ticket back to Longview by midnight.”
“So what can we do?” he asked. “I can go on my own, but we’re not going to get all the answers we need unless you’re there for her to see it with her own eyes. I need you there, Marayah.”
He was right. This was life or death for me, and there was no therapy session or pill that could cure whatever was happening to me now.
“I’ll figure something out,” I said. “Just meet me after school. I’ll have to drop my sister home first, but after that, we can go.”
“What will you tell them?”
“I have no idea,” I said. It was difficult to come up with a brilliant idea when a hot guy was standing two feet away from me wearing nothing but a towel.
“By the way, where did you put your phone when you shifted?” I asked.
He smiled. “I carried it between my teeth,” he said. “I figured that would be easier than throwing rocks at your window without any clothes on.”
I laughed. “Yeah, you’re probably right,” I s
aid. “I better get back inside before Mom comes looking for me.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asked.
“See you,” I said. I walked back toward the house, but he called my name.
When I turned around, he had stepped behind the large tree again. He threw the towel at me, and it hit me square in the face. By the time I had pulled it away, he was gone.
A moment later, as I opened the front door to go back inside, a wolf howled in the distance.
37
This Could Work
I couldn’t sleep. Instead, I paced the floor of my room, trying to think of what I could say to get out of this appointment tomorrow.
Not only that, I had to convince them to let me be out late. If this place was three hours away, it might be well after midnight before we got home.
A little over a year ago, that would have been no problem on a weekend, but now…
Now, everything was different.
Someone knocked on my door, and I glanced at the clock by my bed. It was eleven-fifteen. Too late for my parents to still be up.
“Come in,” I said, and Kimi poked her head around the door.
“What in the world are you doing in here?” she asked.
I shrugged. “Nothing, why?”
“Because I can hear you stomping across the floor,” she said. “Back and forth, back and forth. Then about every three minutes, you let out a huge sigh. What’s bothering you?”
She grabbed a pillow and plopped down on my bed.
“And don’t say you can’t tell me,” she said. “That’s getting old.”
I rolled my eyes. She didn’t understand how hard this was for me, but I had to face the facts. I needed her sneaky brain right now.
I sat down on the edge of the bed, facing her.
“You have to promise not to tell Mom and Dad,” I said.
“Seriously?” she asked, sitting up. “You don’t even have to say that anymore. I’m not going to tell. Now, spill it.”
I took a deep breath. I couldn’t tell her everything, but I could give her the basic details.
“So, you know how I’m supposed to have that appointment with Dr. Millner tomorrow afternoon?”
She nodded. “The one that is so important to Mom and Dad?”
I groaned. “I need to get out of it.”
Her eyes widened. “Wow. No wonder you’ve been pacing a rut in your carpet,” she said. “Why?”
“Because Jordan wants to take me somewhere,” I said, hoping she wouldn’t ask me to elaborate.
“I knew it,” she shouted, throwing the pillow into the air. “You are dating the hot new guy.”
“Shhhh,” I warned, glancing at the door. “Don’t wake them up.”
She laid back down. “They’ll sleep through anything,” she said. “So, tell me where he’s taking you. I want all the details.”
“I don’t exactly know,” I said, which wasn’t really a lie. “He said it’s three hours from here, though, and that I have to see it on the night of the full moon. It’s a surprise, but I really want to be there.”
“Sounds very romantic,” she said, her eyes gleaming. “I just knew there was something going on between you two. The air was literally crackling.”
“It was?” My cheeks grew warm again, and I tried to hide my smile.
“Crackling,” she said. “There was never this much excitement between you and Troy.”
She stuck out her tongue and shook her head.
“Okay, so how do I convince them to let me go?” I asked.
“Have you thought about just telling them you have a date?”
“Like that’s going to work?” I asked. “Even if they agree to let me stay out late, they’ll still expect me to go to the appointment first. Jordan said we have to leave right after school if we want to get there on time.”
“Sounds very mysterious,” Kimi said. “I like him.”
“I do, too.” It felt good to admit it out loud. “But if I tell them I’m going out with a new guy in town, you know they’re going to want to know everything about him and have him come inside and say hello. I don’t want to put him through that.”
I sighed and fell onto the bed.
“This is impossible,” I said.
Kimi got quiet for a few minutes. She lay her head against the pillow, thinking. I prayed for her to come up with something, because my brain hurt from trying to figure it out. I was exhausted.
“Ooh, I’ve got it,” she said, sitting up on her knees. “Don’t you have a big physics project due on Monday?”
“Yes, but how does that help me?” I asked.
“You could tell Mom and Dad that you’ve fallen behind on the project, and you need to spend the night with Nicole to get it done on time,” she said. “Tell them that it’s going to take you hours. You could say that she’s going to help you catch up on all of your homework and projects this weekend. Pull out all the stops. Tell them you’ve just been stressed by the work and that getting caught up is more important right now than a doctor’s appointment.”
Hmm. She was onto something here. They couldn’t argue with schoolwork.
“Won’t she just say that I can go to Nicole’s after the appointment?”
Kimi shrugged. “Just tell her that you need all the daylight hours you can for the experiments you have to do.”
I chewed on my lower lip. This could work.
Of course, I would have to get Nicole on board, too. I had already promised her that I’d be there on Saturday afternoon to work on the project, but Mom was sure to call to check up on me if I was gone all night.
“Wait, if I say I’m spending the night with a friend, where will I actually spend the night?” I asked. “I can’t very well show up on Nicole’s doorstep at midnight.”
Kimi laughed. “Just stay with Jordan,” she said. “He said he’s living with his ailing grandmother. I doubt she’d even notice. You guys could have the whole night together.”
“You are a sneaky one, aren’t you?” I said. The idea of spending the night with Jordan created a flurry of butterflies in my stomach. Would he be okay with that? Would he even have room for me?
I hadn’t asked him where he lived or if the story about his grandmother was true, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was here alone.
I took a deep breath. “Okay, evil mastermind. It’s time to get some sleep,” I said.
She wiggled her eyebrows. “Yeah, it’s going to be a long night for you tomorrow,” she said.
“Let’s just hope Mom and Dad agree with it,” I said.
The next morning, I woke up with those same butterflies flying around in my stomach.
A lot depended on things falling into place before school let out today. I’d given it some thought before I fell asleep last night and decided that the best way to start was to call Dr. Millner and get her on board with the whole idea.
I fished her business card out of my nightstand and dialed her number.
She answered on the second ring. “Hello?”
“Uh, hi, Dr. Millner?” I asked. God, I was nervous.
“Marayah, is that you?”
“Yes,” I said. “I wanted to talk to you about something, if you have a second.”
“Of course,” she said. “But aren’t you scheduled to come in this afternoon?”
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I have this huge project due in one of my classes on Monday and my friend wants me to come over to spend the night tonight so we can work on it,” I said. “She’s my partner on the project, and I’ve fallen way behind because, well, Mom has been really strict and won’t let me stay out after school. It’s been hard to find the time to get it done.”
“I can see how that would be an issue,” she said. “Can’t you work on it this weekend?”
“It’s a really big project and my friend’s family is going out of town Saturday evening, so we really need to get started on it right away if we’re going to do a good job on it.�
� I couldn’t believe how easily the lies rolled off my tongue. “Do you think you could talk to my mom about it? I really have been doing well, but the biggest stress for me right now is falling behind on my school work. I can come in next Friday to see you, instead, if you want.”
“It concerns me that you felt more comfortable coming to me directly instead of talking to your parents about this first,” she said.
I sighed. “You don’t understand what it’s been like for me,” I said. “They aren’t giving me any freedom at all. I have to come home right after school, I can’t see any of my friends. I really do want things to get back to some kind of normal, but how can I do that when I am barely allowed to leave the house, even for school projects?”
Dr. Millner was quiet on the other end. I hoped that meant she was at least considering letting me off the hook for this appointment.
“Let me call your mom and talk to her about this,” she said. “I did think it was strange that she was calling me to request an appointment so soon. She sounded very concerned about your behavior.”
“I understand that she’s just worried about me, but I really am doing fine,” I said. “Once I catch up on my homework, I’ll feel a lot better. If you could just talk to her and get her to agree to this, I’ll gladly come in and see you once this project is finished.”
“I don’t usually like to postpone appointments for patients who are newly released, but since your official appointment wasn’t scheduled for two more weeks, I think I can make an exception this one time,” she said. “Is your mother home? May I speak with her?”
“Sure,” I said, feeling a bit sick at the thought. “Hold on, let me go downstairs and see if she’s in the kitchen.”
I ran down the stairs, my heart pumping hard as I handed Mom the phone.
“What’s this?” she asked.
“Dr. Millner wants to talk to you,” I said.
Mom cleaned off her hands and took the phone, a concerned look on her face. “Hello?”