Lottie muttered all the polite expressions of sympathy and assured him she would be ‘just fine’ then stood in the silent shop for a long time, trying to think of what she should do. Then there were moments of anger towards Ronald. How could he have let them down so badly? The simple answer was to sell the house and use the little remaining money to rent a small place, just large enough for herself and Zena and Greg. But that wouldn’t work, they would still need a house the size of the one they had. The outgoings would be practically the same, too. But what else could she do?
Belatedly closing for lunch, Lottie didn’t go home. She went to see Mabs. Mabs listened then gave a hoot of laughter. ‘Cheer up, Lottie, you’ve reached rock bottom! With this on top of everything else there’s only way to go and that’s up! Now then, get yourself another job. That’s the first thing.’
‘You make it sound so easy,’ Lottie said tearfully.
Zena was planning a change, but not one forced on her as Lottie’s had been. Instead of looking for clients to fill the mornings she had worked for Janey Day, she decided to give notice to some of the others. She would continue to work for Mr Roberts and Nelda and look for another way of earning money for the rest of the time. She cycled home, her mind buzzing with possibilities. It was an exciting time; the world was hers from which she could choose a new beginning. The only possibility she did not consider was Jake, and London.
Sam called at Llyn Hir that evening with some butter made on the farm. Lottie was grateful but Sam could see at once that something was wrong. Quite at home in the house he had known for many years, he went into the kitchen, put the butter in the cold store and made a pot of tea. He set a tray, added the biscuit barrel and sat facing her. ‘Now, tell me what happened today to upset you?’
‘I’ve lost my job.’
‘Why?’
‘The business is failing and the shop is closing at the end of the month.’
‘Has it been sold?’
‘No, the stationery business is just closing down. Oh, Sam, what can I do? There’s the debt Ronald left me with, which even with the wages I earned would have taken for ever to clear. Without a job I have no alternative, I’ll have to sell the house.’
‘What went wrong with the business, trouble with deliveries? I doubt if there were errors, not with you running the place, Kay.’
‘Kay?’ She laughed. ‘You’re the only one to call me that, now Ronald has gone.’
‘So what went wrong?’
‘I think Mr Lucas let things slide a little. Customers would ring me up and ask why he hadn’t called as promised. Orders didn’t reach the shop for me to deal with deliveries. Only small errors but there were too many. It’s pointless to wonder why. It’s happened and I’m out of a job.’
‘If the business were yours, what changes would you make to get it on its feet again?’
‘I would concentrate on advertising to bring more customers. And I would make sure every customer had the best of attention so they would use us again and, most importantly, recommend us to others. Word of mouth is still the best way to make a business grow. I would also increase the items we stock, make more use of the unused space we have. I would leave piles of orders and invoices cluttering the desk, even if they’re out of date. It increases confidence to see the place busy.’
‘Why don’t you buy the business?’
‘Oh yes. I’ll magic the money out of the air, like rabbits from a conjurer’s hat, shall I?’
‘If you really want something, a way will be found. Just don’t dismiss the idea before considering it. Right?’ She stared at him and he began to laugh. ‘Honestly, Kay, you’re looking at me as though I’d made an improper suggestion!’
Lottie talked to Mabs later that day. ‘Come and have tea with us on Sunday, I’ve got corned beef pasties and there’re some scones with fresh farm butter to spread on them,’ she coaxed.
‘And there’s something you want to tell me?’ Mabs asked, tilting her head to one side questioningly. ‘Come on, I can’t wait until tomorrow. Have you discovered anything about Ronald?’
‘No, it was something Sam said. I told him the shop was closing and I was losing my job and he suggested that I buy the business. It’s impossible, of course, but if I hadn’t been left with this debt, maybe I’d have tried.’
‘Talk to Zena why don’t you? She hasn’t a job either, so maybe you can work something out between you.’
‘Where does the money come from? No, it’s a lovely dream but that’s all.’
‘Talk to Zena!’
Rose was aware that Jake was including her more and more in his life and she began to feel the usual anxiety about a friend becoming too close. Without telling Jake or Madeleine she applied for a position in a very smart shoe shop. With her increased confidence and better clothes sense, she was given the position which came with a generous increase in salary. Talking to the other sales girls before she took up the post, and explaining that she was looking for accommodation, she was offered a share in a house with three other people, one of whom was a young man. It was west of London but with good routes into the city. Only then did she tell Madeleine of her new arrangements, but, promising to keep in touch, she avoided giving her the new address. She walked away knowing that once more she was without a friend.
It would always be like this, she thought sadly as she unpacked her small suitcase and boxes, and spread her few dismal belongings around the room to make a pretence of it being her home.
Jake was angry at her disappearance without a word. They had befriended her, coaxed her out to places she might not have seen on her own and she was treating them like the enemy! He told Madeleine he wouldn’t try to find her.
‘I have no interest in her problems – which, on her past behaviour, were probably invented, anyway. We’ve tried to help her: there’s no justification for her to leave without a word.’
Madeleine smiled. Putting them in a room together might be fun.
Rose lay on her bed, listening to the other house-mates laughing and talking, knowing she was utterly alone. To feel the temptations of a love affair and have to walk away was becoming more difficult. Although it was not for Jake she grieved, it was still Greg. If only she had had a normal childhood, how simple life would have been.
Exploring the area was fun, finding shops and concert halls, exhibitions, theatres and cinemas, and a small, friendly café where she ate most evenings. But she was aware again of the lack of someone to share her pleasures. Going to the pictures and not having a friend to discuss it with on the way home gave her that familiar hollow feeling. After a month she went to see Madeleine.
When she knocked on the door, Madeleine came out and hugged her, squealing with delight. ‘Come in! Why haven’t you been in touch? I insist on you giving me your new address.’
Rose hesitated. ‘Before I do, will you promise not to tell Jake you’ve seen me?’
Madeleine pushed her into the living room. ‘It’s too late, dear. Jake, look who’s here!’
Before she could protest, Jake leapt out of the armchair and hugged her, kissed her cheek and demanded to know where she had been. ‘We’ve missed you, haven’t we, Madeleine?’
‘I – er – I’ve been busy settling in,’ she said, flustered by the disappointment of seeing him.
Madeleine went to make tea and Jake patted the seat beside him. ‘Come on, then. Where are you working, another shoe shop?’
‘Yes, it’s another shoe shop.’ She hesitated, unwilling to tell him more.
‘We went to the flat several times but no one knew where you’d gone. A letter was there for you and Madeleine opened it in case it was important. It was from Greg, telling you he missed you and would like you to get in touch.’
‘There was a P S, it said “no strings”,’ added Madeleine coming in with a tray of tea and cakes.
‘Greg and I – that was a long time ago. It’s definitely over, best he forgets me.’
‘No one could forget you, Rosie. I
don’t want you to go away again without telling us. Promise? We won’t tell Greg where to find you, if that’s what you wish.’
Rose relaxed and, trusting him to keep his word, began to amuse them with stories about the people in the shared house and some of the customers she served in the smart shoe shop where she now worked.
They arranged to meet for the pictures later that week and Rose left them, content that the friendships were safe from any problems and she was no longer alone. Jake and Madeleine behaved like close friends; arms in arm, heads together She was reassured by their closeness. Jake was not seriously interested in her.
Jake phoned Llyn Hir one evening and Greg answered. He told Jake he had no idea where Zena had gone. ‘She goes out a lot more than she used to,’ he explained. ‘And I’m glad she does. There’s no point in her sitting here night after night waiting for a letter or a phone call from you!’
‘I’m thinking of coming down next weekend.’
‘A visit from you? Never! That’s something she’s given up expecting. What are you doing in London? A grotty room in a grotty street and a job that’s far less glamorous than the one you lied to her about.’ He didn’t hide his anger and Jake was silent for a moment.
‘The truth is—’ As his excuses were about to begin, Greg put down the phone.
‘He called this evening,’ he told Zena when she got back from a visit to Nelda. ‘Probably hoping to get me on his side, but I didn’t listen.’
‘I’m glad I was out,’ Zena admitted. ‘We need to talk face to face to end it properly.’
‘He said he’s thinking of coming down next weekend. How d’you feel about that?’
‘Tempted to run away! But it’s time this was sorted, so I’d better stay.’
‘He only said he was thinking of coming, not a definite plan.’
‘I suppose it depends whether Madeleine or Rose have something better to offer!’
‘Tell him goodbye, Sis. You’re worth better.’
Jake went home the following weekend and although he breezed in as he normally did, as though he had been away a few hours, instead of not having contacted Zena in weeks, he was shocked when Zena didn’t return his smile.
‘What’s up, love? Don’t tell me there’s more bad news. Aunty Mabs is all right, isn’t she?’
‘We’re all fine, Jake, and well used to managing without you in our lives.’
‘What d’you mean? Out of your life? I never want to be out of your life. This family is all I want in the whole world.’
‘Sorry Jake, but I want you to go back to London and not come here again.’
‘I can’t do that! We’re engaged, we’re getting married just as soon as I have enough money and a better job. And’ – he went on as she was about to interrupt – ‘it’s good news, love. I’ve been promoted and I really am on the sales team now.’
‘It’s too late. It’s over and I am going to start a new life, without wondering where you are, who you’re with and when you will come home, or write, or even use the telephone.’
‘Come out with me, we’ll go for a meal and talk about it.’
‘No Jake. I want you to go. Now.’
She walked to the door, opened it and stood there until he left. He was still talking, trying to convince her she was wrong, that he loved her and just wasn’t any good at writing letters. She closed the door while he was still talking and ran to her room. She wouldn’t cry. She wouldn’t.
Her mother came soon after Jake had gone and called up to her. ‘Zena, are you there? I’ve got something to tell you. I need your advice, dear.’
Zena went downstairs a wide smile stretching her mouth but not reaching her eyes. ‘Mam, Jake was here and I’ve told him we’re finished. I don’t want to see him again, and – and …’ Then she cried.
It was some time and several cups of tea later before Lottie talked to her about Sam’s suggestion. ‘Of course I can’t take on the business, much as I’d love to. There would be extra debt and I’m frantic enough about the one I already have. Adding to it would be the makings of disaster. But it was a wonderful dream for a while. I’ve been sitting in Mabs’s flat working out how I would increase the business and I could see a successful future, but it’s no use. There isn’t the remotest chance of me finding the money.’
‘How much would you need?’
Lottie stared up at the ceiling as if she were mapping her costings on its blank surface. ‘I’d have to buy the stock and pay for the business to be transferred, and then there would be the monthly rent.’ She gave an irritable shrug. ‘I can’t do it and I don’t know why I am even thinking about it. There is a very slight hope, if I can accept it: Aunty Mabs has offered to join me as a silent partner. Is that possible, do think?’
‘I have a better idea.’ Zena’s face became animated, grief for the end of her plans with Jake momentarily eased. ‘What if I came as an active partner? I have the savings for a wedding that isn’t going to happen, and rent from the flat every month, we can use that and cope until the business starts giving us a wage.’
‘No, dear, I can’t accept your money. You and Jake – you’ve dreamed of marrying him for so long, it might not be over – and I’d hate for you to do something you’d regret.’
‘Mam, it really is over. It wasn’t a dream, it was a nightmare and I’m free of it. I’ve been an idiot, putting up with his lies and, really, he abandoned me, didn’t he? How many times do I have to forgive him for his dishonesty, and for always putting me last? I’ve been crazy to accept how he’s behaved—getting a job and moving to London without discussing it and continually lying ever since.’
‘I can’t take your money, but I’m so thrilled that you’re offering it. Keep it until you know what you want to do.’
‘Ten minutes ago I had no idea where my life was going, but now I do’ She was laughing in her excitement. ‘I’ve worked in an office since I left school so I understand running an office. I’ve always thought the shop didn’t stock enough of the day-to-day requirements of local needs. Also, I have good typing and shorthand skills. We could advertise my services for letters, applications for jobs, instruction leaflets, work for schools and colleges, and many other things. And what if we contact a printer and make a financial arrangement to benefit us both? We could do programmes for local events, all sorts of things.’
Lottie began to laugh. ‘Zena, you are wonderful. I don’t think we could possibly fail.’
‘We’ll do it?’
‘Yes, my darling girl, let’s do it!’ She went to the telephone and spoke to Mr Lucas for a long time, then turned to her daughter, thumbs up. ‘Mr Lucas has agreed to rent us the property!’ Putting down the phone she said, ‘Firstly we need to make an appointment with the solicitor. Then we’ll go and tell Mabs.’
Greg was surprised, then very pleased at the decision involving both his mother and sister and offered to help. The three of them went to look over the property they were about to rent, all excitedly suggesting ideas for rearranging the shelves and making lists of ideas, including people to inform, and new lines to stock. They all went to bed early, completely exhausted.
Jake called the next day but there was no one at home. He sat on the cold-frame where cucumbers were grown during the summer, pulling out weeds, and practising what he would say when Zena returned. As darkness fell he gave up and went to his lodgings.
Zena, Greg, Lottie and Mabs were in a rather expensive restaurant celebrating the promise of an exciting, new life.
The next morning, before leaving for London, Jake called again, but although their voices could be heard talking and laughing, and he was convinced they knew he was there, no one answered his knock. He hung around until realizing he was likely to miss his train. Out of pique, he took Greg’s bicycle and got there with seconds to spare. He left the cycle outside the ticket office.
Chapter Seven
Zena and Nelda planned a visit to the lake with the children. They were taking a picnic and staying for a
t least a few hours. It had been one of those deceptive periods; warm, sunny, the sky an unbelievable bright blue; Autumn’s final attempt to hold back the start of winter.
It wasn’t far from Llyn Hir taking the twisting path down the hill from the house and with two of them carrying what they needed it wouldn’t be difficult. Sam had agreed to them lighting a fire and had promised to deliver some kindling and logs to make that easier.
On the day before the outing Zena was working for Roy Roberts and he seemed very against their spending time at the lake.
‘Stay away from that place,’ he warned. ‘It’s got a bad reputation. Evil things happen there. Far better that you stay in the fields. Or even the wood, that would be better than the lake.’
‘A bad reputation? I’ve never heard of anything terrible happening there.’ She smiled, remembering. ‘The lake was a large part of our lives when we were children. Greg and I used to wait at the shallow area we called the beach to watch for Mam coming home with the shopping. Mam and Dad often rowed across instead of going by road, and every Christmas, that was the way our Christmas tree arrived, with us leaping about in excitement on the bank as soon as the boat left the other side.’
Roy wasn’t convinced. ‘Dark, dirty old place.’
‘Oh, Mr Roberts. It’s beautiful. The water is clean and fresh. We all swam there, Mam and Dad too. Did you know it’s fed by the stream passing through Uncle Sam’s farm? There’s a slow trickle into the lake which goes out on the other side, and that’s why the lake is always the same depth.’
‘Stay away from there. You can’t imagine what lies beneath the surface.’
‘If the stream fails we’ll find out. The lake would quickly dry out.’
Zena was startled by the shocked reaction to her words. Roy staggered away from her and sat in his chair, staring at her. ‘That couldn’t happen!’
‘Uncle Sam says the stream has never failed, but one day it might.’
The End of a Journey Page 16