by B. B. Hamel
I can hear the gossip now. Jonas the bastard, beating up his best friend and stealing his drug money. Classic Jonas, the criminal, the thief, the asshole. I’m a bad man, a very bad man, and I always will be.
We get outside and into the Jeep. I speed off, driving back to the apartment, totally unaware of the look Lizzie’s giving me until I stop at a red light.
“What?” I ask her.
She shakes her head. “I never believed it until now.”
“Believed what?”
“That you’re a bad man.”
I grunt and look away. Maybe she’s right. Maybe I went too fucking far, but I don’t think so. Ezra deserves worse, way fucking worse. I should force him out of Half Pipe, get rid of him entirely, but I won’t. Come the morning, I’ll help him.
But Lizzie’s right. I am a bad man, just not for the reason she thinks.
I’m a bad man because I’m taking her back to my apartment and giving her exactly what she’s been begging me for ever since that night in the café.
16
Lizzie
He’s like a totally different person. I can feel the anger radiating off him in waves, almost palpable in my mouth. He parks the Jeep and stalks inside, forcing me to run to keep up.
He doesn’t say anything as we get into the apartment. He doesn’t need to. I know what he wants, I can see it in his eyes as he whirls on me. Truth is, I want it too, and that only confuses me more.
Jonas hurt my brother tonight, although my brother deserved it. Still, Jonas attacked him in front of everyone. I heard the things they were whispering about him, rumors, maybe some of them true, about how he’s violent and depraved and insane. Jonas the bastard, the killer and the thief. He owns a fancy dispensary now but he’ll always be from the streets.
That’s not the Jonas I see, even right now. I got a glimpse of that man out there in that backyard as he knocked my brother to the ground and growled in his face like an animal, but only a glimpse. He had my believing, just like he had everyone else believing.
That Jonas is gone now, though. Now it’s just the same Jonas I’ve been spending time with, trying to get to know, trying to understand.
All those whispers around me, I think those helped me figure him out better than anything else could have. All those people saying how evil he is, how bad he is, how he’s a dangerous person. If people said that about me over and over again, I think I’d start to believe it, too. Maybe that’s why Jonas thinks he’s a bad man.
I don’t think he’s bad, not really. What he did to Ezra he did because he had to. I heard what Ezra said. I was close enough to hear it all. Ezra’s selling drugs, he stole product from the shop to cover his debts, and he was dealing from the shop itself. Ezra screwed up and he deserved what he got.
It’s strange. I never thought I’d be more worried about Jonas than I am about my own brother, but here I am alone in the apartment with him, and afraid for his reputation. Stupid, but also amazing. I’m not even thinking about my own, and maybe, finally, I don’t care anymore.
Jonas steps toward me. “What you saw… what I did…”
“It had to be done,” I state firmly, meeting his eyes.
He looks so relieved it almost breaks my heart. “It did,” he agrees. “But it didn’t feel good.”
“I know it didn’t.”
He reaches out slowly and takes my hand. I let him lead me through the kitchen, away from my nest on the couch, and up the stairs. We go into his bedroom and shut the door. He locks it behind me as I get a look at his space, only my second glimpse.
It’s neat and orderly and almost perfectly balanced. Bed, desk, dresser, nightstand, all mid-century modern and clean white. The art is sparse and simple, and the only thing that’s a stain on the otherwise perfect appearance is the ashtray full of old joints and blunts, stubbed out and forgotten.
“Guess you haven’t been in a bed in a while,” he says softly.
I turn back to him and shrug. “It’s a comfortable couch.”
“Not that comfortable.” He steps toward me. “You know this is a mistake.”
“You keep saying that.”
“You need to keep hearing it.”
I bite my lip as he comes close enough to run a hand through my hair. He stops at the base of my skull and takes a grip, tilting my lips up toward him.
“I don’t want you to regret this,” he says softly, lips brushing against mine.
“I can’t. I won’t.”
“You will, sooner or later. If you let me inside, it’ll feel incredible until one day it won’t.”
“You’re not scaring me away.”
He smirks, almost relieved. “Good.” He presses his lips against mine and kisses me deep and hard.
I know what he’s trying to do. He’s playing a role, pretending to be the bad guy. He just beat up my brother and now he’s keeping that going, staying in character. He’s Jonas the bad boy, the heartbreaker, the drug dealer. But I don’t see that Jonas in here. Instead, I see Jonas the businessman, Jonas the clean and orderly, Jonas the friend and lover. He’s so much more than a combination of rumors and hearsay. He’s a person, flesh and blood, tattoos and clothes and beard and thick hair and gorgeous eyes and hands that know what they’re doing. He’s so much more, and it makes me want to be more, to become more.
His free hand slides down between my legs and unbuttons the fly on my jean shorts. He tugs them down over my hips and I do the same for him, pulling down his jeans, letting them drop onto the floor. He pulls me tight against him and I can feel his huge cock, hard and getting harder against my body as he kisses me. He releases my hair and squeezes my ass, moving me toward the bed.
I tumble down onto the comforter, Jonas not far behind. He smirks as he kisses my neck, hands on my body, tugging off my shirt and my bra, tossing my clothes onto the floor. I’m naked before I even realize what’s happening, his fingers sliding down my skin, caressing and kissing, his tongue inside my mouth as his fingers tease my wet pussy. I’m surprised at how soaked I am already but he doesn’t seem to skip a beat. He rolls the pad of his thumb against my clit before pressing two fingers inside my pussy, making me groan deep into his kiss.
He pulls back, smirking again, kissing my neck. “This is why you come back for more, isn’t it, little rose?”
“No,” I gasp, but I know he’s right. I hate it when he’s right, but it feels too good to argue.
“Don’t be afraid. It’s not going to stop. I won’t take it away from you, not until you get what you need.”
I groan and grind against him as his fingers press deeper between my legs. It feels so good, my breasts bare as he kisses them, my nipples hard as he tongues them. I groan and roll my hips again as he thrusts his fingers deeper inside of me. I reach forward without thinking, tugging at his briefs, and he smirks, pulling them off.
He’s hard as hell as I take his cock in my hand. He moves up toward my mouth and I lean forward, taking him between my legs, still on my back as he kneels at my head. His hands continue to tease me, feeling my breasts and throat and fucking my pussy as I suck at his big dick desperately. I want to taste him so badly. I want to be a part of his world, to come on him, to feel him come inside of me.
I gag, trying to go too deep, but I don’t slow down. I try it again, getting deeper, feeling his cock stretching my throat. I gag and pull back, and he leans forward to kiss me.
He pulls back, getting off the bed and grabbing my hips to pull me along. I groan as he turns me over onto my stomach, getting me on the edge of the bed as he drops to his knees, his tongue already on my ass and sliding between my cheeks. I gasp as he tongues my hole and licks me up and down, finding my clit and back to my ass, piercing me and rolling all around. It feels incredible and fucked and amazing as I look back over my shoulder at this incredible man, his tattoos flexing under his stone muscles.
I feel him stop and straighten, and instead of his fingers pressing against my pussy, it’s his cock. I look over my shoulde
r just as he slides easily inside me, filling me up like I was made for him. I’m so slick it’s easy to fuck me, sending jolts of pleasure through my body as he tears me to pieces.
I groan and he slaps my ass, fucking my tight pussy from behind. I remember how sore I was after the last time, but this time the pain’s a little less, the pleasure a little more intense. I wiggle my ass at him and he slaps harder. I want that sting, that little bite of pain to make the pleasure so much sweeter, and he gives it to me. He pulls my hair and tilts my chin back, fucking me rough, using me as his toy. I love the feeling of his cock slamming into my pussy, my ass banging against his hard abs, his body enveloping mine, controlling and dominating me.
My bliss mounts, rolling through me. I buck my ass back and start to ride him like that, using my hips and knees to work myself back and forth along his length. He grunts and slaps my ass, letting me do the work. Sweat beads on my skin and I love it as he licks some from my back and bites down onto my shoulder, making me groan. I move faster, willing him to give me what I want. I need it so badly it’s almost impossible to breathe.
He pulls away just as the pleasure’s mounting, like he knows exactly how to edge my joy and bliss, stringing it along perfectly. He grabs my hips hard and leans over my body. “I want to feel every inch of you,” he whispers. “I want to own every part of you.”
“Oh god,” I whisper. I feel his cock pressing against my ass and I know I shouldn’t. I’ve never had someone inside of me like that before, but in this moment, I’ll do anything. More than that, I need everything, I need it all.
His hand wraps through my hair, his cock slowly pressing harder against me. I can feel the pressure mounting as I relax, wigging my hips to get closer to him.
“What are you waiting for?” I ask, looking at him. “Fuck me.”
He smirks and slides his cock into my ass. I toss my head back and groan, half in pleasure and half in pain. He’s so big, way too big, but he keeps sliding deeper. I wiggle my ass again and stay relaxed as I take him. He fills me, stretching me, pain and pleasure and more mingling through my body as he slowly starts to fuck my ass.
It’s a new sensation, one I’ve never felt before. The pain’s more intense, but the pleasure’s there too. As he keeps going, slow at first but mounting faster, the pleasure starts to increase, matching the pain in an incredible mingling running down my spine.
I move faster, letting him fuck me deeper and slow. He reaches around my hips to find my clit, rubbing it as he fucks my ass. I gasp and my fingers dig into the comforter, pulling it tight and groaning as he keeps going. I hear his grunts and I know he’s getting close, but as he rubs my clit faster, I realize the orgasm’s going to roll over me soon.
I move faster, matching his pace. It hurts and it feels good and I know I’m giving myself over to him completely. The old me would’ve been afraid of this, terrified even, but not this new version. I’m free to do what I want with whoever I want, and I want Jonas more than anything I’ve ever felt. I want him so badly I can barely breathe.
I come in deep, slow spasms as he works my clit fast. He buries his cock in my ass and concentrates on the clit, moving me through the orgasm and pushing me over the edge. I groan and wiggle my ass a little bit as it starts to ebb and slow. His thrusts get faster, his grunts louder, and I let him fuck my ass deep and harder, grunting along with him.
He comes inside of me. It feels strange as he fills me, but I like it. I work my hips and shake my ass as he comes, helping him along. When he’s through, he collapses onto the bed next to me, holding me tight.
I nuzzle up against his muscular chest, breathing in his body, his sweat and his smell. There’s nothing for me outside this room. I can feel an ache between my legs, but it’s a good ache, the kind of ache you get after real hard work. I feel weirdly accomplished as he looks at me, a little smile on his face, and he kisses me slowly.
That night, for the first time in a while, I sleep in a bed with another body pressed against mine. It’s the best sleep I’ve gotten in a long, long time.
17
Jonas
I can’t remember the last time I woke up with another body in my bed. The sun streams through the curtains and I run my fingers through her hair, making her stir. I don’t want to wake her up, but her ass is looking pretty fucking sexy and my cock’s already getting stiff as I put one arm over her body.
Her eyes blink open and her mouth curls into a smile. “Hi there,” she says, a little groggy.
“Hey.” I press some hair from her eyes, brushing it off her forehead. I kiss her softly and she smiles, mumbling into my kiss.
“Let me brush my teeth,” she says when I pull back.
“Not a fucking chance. Let you leave this bed? You’re crazy if you think you can get away from me right now.”
She laughs as I grab her and roll her over on top of me. I pin her hips down against my hard cock and she groans a little bit, wiggling her ass and rolling her pussy against me.
“Are you always like this first thing in the morning?” she asks.
“Only when there’s a nice ass waiting for me.” I grab and slap her cheeks and she laughs. I pull her down toward me and she arches her back as I slap her ass again, sliding my hands down between her legs.
“Not like you’re complaining,” I note as I feel her wet pussy through her thin shorts.
“Didn’t say it was a bad thing.” She kisses me slow and deep and I feel something blooming inside of me, something I didn’t expect to feel.
I like this. It’s simple but it’s strange. I like waking up with her, kissing her first thing in the morning, feeling her body close against mine. I always felt smothered when some one-night stand stayed past her welcome, and I never let them sleep over. I like my morning routine, and I especially like it when I can do it alone.
This is different though. It’s like all my old ways are slowly fading, and there’s something new in front of me, a new possibility. I never considered that I’d want to let someone in my bed and never let her go, but here I am, Lizzie’s wet cunt grinding against my cock, and there’s nothing else in the whole fucking world I want more than this.
She leans forward, kisses me, bites my lower lip. I feel like I’m going to fucking come in my goddamn briefs. She sits up straight and smiles, pulling her shirt up over her head, revealing those perky, full fucking breasts. I don’t know if it’s possible but my cock gets even harder as she puts her hands on my shins, leaning back to roll her hips down my cock’s length, biting her lip.
I swear I’m about to fucking bust when a phone starts ringing. We stop and she turns her head, frowning slightly.
“Ignore it,” I say, grabbing her and pulling her toward me.
She smiles and kisses me once before pressing harder. But as soon as the phone stops ringing, it starts up again.
“Fuck,” she whispers. “What if it’s Ezra?”
“Fuck him,” I say. “I need that pussy right now.”
She smiles and pushes me away. “Down boy. Give me a second.”
I groan as she rolls out of bed. I think my cock is bright blue and throbbing. I’m like a horny fucking teenager and I’ve never felt this way before and I’ve never felt this good.
“Hello?” she answers the phone. Her face immediately drops, her whole posture tightening up. I’ve never seen her like this before as she turns away from me. “When? Is he okay? Okay, yeah. Yeah, I’ll come. Fine, okay. I’ll see you soon.” She hangs up, shaking her head.
My cock’s slowly going soft. “What’s wrong?” I ask her. I know that tone she had. That was a bad call, something official. The sort of tone you use when a cop says your brother’s been shot by a bunch of fucking drug runners.
“It’s Royal,” she says. “He had a heart attack.”
I stare at her for a second. “I don’t know how to feel about that,” I say finally.
“Me neither.” She sighs. “But come on, we have to go to the hospital.”
“We d
o?” I arch an eyebrow at her.
“You’re not going to let me go see my abusive stepfather alone, are you?”
“Fuck no,” I say, climbing out of bed. “Let’s get moving, little rose.”
She smiles as I take her hand and squeeze it.
Scripps Memorial looks like any other hospital, confusing and too small and cobbled together at different times. Brand new, glass-and-metal wings jut out against older, brick sections. I know not to let looks fucking deceive, since Scripps is the fucking premiere hospital for the rich and the famous.
I bet there are more nose jobs happening here right now than anywhere else in the state, or maybe in the whole country combined. This is where the wealthy people of La Jolla go to get their shit fixed up, their faces cut and tucked and squeezed, their hearts sliced and stented and restarted. This is where the rich go to keep up their image, and to pretend like they’ll live forever.
Lizzie isn’t talking much and I’m not pushing her. After we park in the garage and head inside, it’s relatively easy to find where Royal’s staying. Her mom texts the room number, and after I ask a surprisingly jolly old nurse sitting at an information desk, it’s another five minutes of walking before we finally find the spot. We only get yelled at by a couple nurses, which I consider a damn victory.
Lizzie pauses outside of Royal’s door and looks back at me. “I haven’t seen him since I left,” she says.
I nod, but don’t respond. Her face is tight. I reach out and take her hand again, trying to imbue her with as much strength as I can muster.
“I don’t want to go in.”
“I’m right behind you.”
She takes a breath and lets it out. “My mom’s pregnant.”
I blink, surprised. “Isn’t she like…?” I trail off, afraid to say it.
“Yeah, she’s way too old.” Lizzie sighs, shaking her head. “It’s some IVF nightmare. I told her it’s not fair to the baby, she’ll be too old when it’s grown. I told her it’s a mistake. And Royal…” She trails off.