"And, adding a few more years to your education helped you pass the time?"
He laughed. "I guess you could say that." He bent down and petted Molly and handed Monica the leash. He stood and said, "I never stopped thinking about you, Jill. Or that kiss."
We both knew what he meant, and to me, it was the kiss that got Michael to notice me. But all these years, he still remembers that kiss.
"Yeah, that was pretty crazy right there in front of the coffee shop. I wonder how many saw us that night from the café window."
"I was hoping everyone." He titled his head, and his eyes looked so kind. Full of something I wished I had seen in Michael's eyes. But he wasn't Michael. He was better, and I didn't want to keep comparing.
"Drake, I would love to go out with you, if you're asking?"
"I'm asking." He smiled slyly and wrote down his cell number and handed it to me. "This Saturday?"
"Yes, Saturday works. Um…do you want my number…in case things…change?"
"I have it." He looked down at Molly's chart and repeated, "555-6469."
I threw my head back with embarrassment. "Of course. Duh," I said.
"You're still so cute, Jill."
A compliment and I didn't know what to do with it. "Um…thank you, I guess." He could tell I was becoming uncomfortable and walked us out of the exam room.
"I'll call you, Jill. About Saturday," he said and grabbed the next dog's file and headed to next exam room. I looked to the receptionist who was smirking at me and tried to ignore her.
"We're old college friends."
I was totally back in high school, roaming through my wardrobe, searching for something to wear. Nothing seemed right. It was either too young or too old. And I was only twenty-two. I looked at the little, black dress I wore to the Christmas party. And then thinking about Michael and me having sex in the car knocked on my head. Was he ever going to go away?
Finally, I settle on a yellow tunic dress that still wore the tags. Maybe this was what I had been saving it for. And whatever would happen in that dress would be Drake and my memory. We already had the kiss.
He picked me up at six and, once again, I was speechless when it came to his compliments. "I saw these flowers, and they reminded me so much of you. All the colors and the sweet scent." He was holding out a bouquet of painted daisies, and I kissed him on the cheek.
"Thank you, Drake. It's been forever since I've had flowers. You look…great." Great? He wasn't an idea or a piece of furniture. "I mean…God, let me start over."
"It's okay, Jill. Take your time," he chuckled.
"Drake, I've always thought you were handsome, and…wow, you're a doctor and…you're just amazing. I was so attracted to you in college. But I was married, and…"
"Don't stop there," he teased and pulled me to him. "Let's finish that kiss."
Setting the daisies on the counter, he pulled me into his arms. The second his lips touched mine, I felt life inside me push out the dead, and for once, Michael was gone.
"So, I looked at him and said, seriously, ‘There's a pencil stuck in your dog’s anus?’"
"Oh, my God. You're kidding, right?"
"I wish I was," Drake said and grabbed my hands from across the table. He was funny and gorgeous, and so easy to talk to. I couldn't remember the last time I had been part of a conversation. The whole night was filled with laughter and jokes, and I couldn't believe I was a part of it. Oh, the things I had been missing. Michael never made me laugh like this, nor did he care to involve me in his work or his thoughts. Drake told me about his goals and dreams, and as he shared them, he never made me feel that I wasn't a part of them. He talked about marriage and family and the vacations he would take his children on. And each time he said it, he looked me straight in the eye. He was talking about me—us. Again, that distrust and betrayal began to chatter inside my head. Warning me with laughter. Drake was my first date in two years, and it told me not to get too excited. I didn't want to listen to it. I tried to listen to Drake and focus on something good. Drake was good. He had to be. How could someone become a vet and love animals and not be good?
The magic of the night continued when we left the restaurant and had drinks at a local nightclub. For only one second did I think of Michael when we walked in. The place was classy, in that dark, martini bar way and it felt like a place Michael would pick up women. But I was here with a good man, and he wanted to be with me.
As we sat in a red velvet booth, tucked away in the dark sipping our dirty martinis, Drake kissed me, and the moment felt severe. With so much laughter, I thought I'd lose my voice. His hand smoothed along my cheek, and we stared into each other's eyes. He touched my lips with his thumb and told me how beautiful I was. I was ready now and all the pain and hurt I went through with Michael was gone. I looked into Drake's eyes and said, "Drake, would you like to spend the night with me?"
He didn't answer, but only smiled and then kissed me passionately. And I took that as a yes.
Now
Sitting outside, having my coffee in the courtyard of the hospital, I breathe in and acknowledge all the beautiful blessings around me. The trees are a portrait of red, yellow, and gold. I could look at them all day. Fall is my favorite time of year. Not only with its golden beauty, but it takes me back to when I first fell in love with Michael. School had just started, and summer was still hanging on. Allowing warm days to wash my car in the drive—the day Michael took me for a motorcycle ride. The homecoming dance and the night I made chicken cacciatore for Michael. The first kiss we shared on his couch. The time of year I lost my virginity and made love for the first time—with Michael. I know a lot of bad things happened in-between that time and now. But I can't imagine life without him.
"There she is. There's Grandma." Twisting around, I find Michael coming into the courtyard, pushing a stroller. He kept his word, and since the age of twelve weeks, Michael has been our granddaughter's caretaker. Bindi Michelle was born one year ago in this hospital with her entire family gathered around. A beautiful seven pounds, six-ounce screaming bundle of joy. I never saw Michael so happy. And…there was some guilt there, too, on how he missed Monica's birth.
Men may struggle with age and becoming fathers and grandfathers, but if they only knew how this makes them all the more attractive to us. I was never more attractive to Michael than when he was playing with his daughter, carrying her on his shoulders, or talking baby talk with her. The day at the beach in Florida, when she rode his shoulders and pretended to be flying. Never was Michael more gorgeous to me than that day. And just know that watching him push that stroller, is more captivating to my heart, then when he was on a motorcycle or his vet. Because this shows all the man can be. And it takes a tough man to raise and care for his family.
"Hey, Sweetheart. What are you and Grandpa doing today?" She reaches out her little arms, and I grab her up. "Hi, Michael," I say when he kisses me.
"Man, what a gorgeous day. You don't think it's too cold to have her out in the stroller, do you?" Michael—the over-protective grandfather.
"No. It's perfect. The sunshine is good for her. I don't think she needs to have a heavy coat on, though. You have a lighter jacket in her bag?"
Michael ruffles through the bag and pulls out a small, lined windbreaker. "How about this?"
"That's better. It may be fall, but it's still seventy degrees today." He changes Bindi into the light jacket and then hands her back. I lift her up and down and listen to her sweet baby giggles. "Mmm," I say, kissing her rosy cheeks. "Grandma could just eat you up."
"Here, I brought you something. Bindi and I made you some potato soup."
"You did," I say to the smiling baby in my arms.
"Bindi likes it too," Michael says, pulling a container from the back of the stroller.
"Well, thank you. You too, Grandpa." I hand Bindi back to Michael and open the container. It's still warm, and the smell reminds me of cool fall evenings. "Oh, this is delicious."
"Hey, sorry to b
ring this up at last moment. But I need to fly back to Seattle for a board meeting at the jet center. We are electing new members. I saw on your calendar that you don't work this Friday."
"No, I don't." Does he want me to go?
"I've booked my flight for Thursday night and scheduled the meeting for Friday. You'll be available to watch this little princess," he says, lifting Bindi to kiss her forehead.
I guess I was wrong. "Ah, of course. I'm not too out of practice."
"Great. That way Monica doesn't have to waste a vacation day." It's just business, Jill. Don't start getting those feelings back. Michael has shown and proved he has turned a one-eighty. He loves you and our family. Though this is swarming in my head, I smile and tell him it's no problem.
"How long will you be gone?"
"Not sure yet. That's why I booked a one-way. Might come back on a run with one of our pilots if it's more convenient. We used to travel like this all the time. Fights were always going somewhere you needed to go." We? He and Cami? I dare not ask. I must remind myself; the past is in the past. Seattle.
"Okay. Well, keep me posted…so if I need to change my schedule here at the hospital."
"I will. Thanks for understanding."
I sip my coffee. "No problem." It leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Or is it Seattle?
I finish my soup, and Michael packs up Bindi and tells her to wave bye-bye. "We'll see grandma later."
"Bye-bye, Munchkin. Grandma loves you." I kiss her little hands and cheeks and then kiss Michael. "Tell Monica hello for me."
"I will, Baby," he says, and I watch him push the stroller down the sidewalk and out of the courtyard. Taking a deep breath, I tell myself not to worry. But yet, why do I?
"I'm just paranoid," I tell myself and head back to work.
Michael is packing when I get home, and I see a suit laid out on the bed. "So, this is not a casual meeting, I take it?"
He steps out of the closet, holding two ties. "Red or blue," he says holding both ties.
"Tell me what's all involved, and then I let you know the best choice."
"What's that supposed to mean? It's just a meeting," he says, but his tone is a bit…defensive. Or is it just me?
"I mean, is it an official board meeting, or cocktail negotiations?"
"Both." He eyes me surreptitiously and drops both ties on the bed. I guess both ties will be needed. I watch him walk back to inside the closet.
"Michael?" I wait for him to answer before continuing to access his mood.
"Yes?"
I'm still not entirely sure and ask. "Was there any way you could have scheduled it on a Saturday…so that we could have gone together? I mean…I've seen your jet center."
Walking out of the closet, he holds two pair of shoes and drops them into the suitcase set next to the bed. "No, Jill. Meetings aren't held on Saturdays."
"Yet, you have meetings after hours…in bars…with drinks."
"What are you getting at?" This is not going well. He's upset, I can tell.
"I just find it odd that, after all this time, you've never mentioned Seattle and…this jet center. And now it's a big deal."
"Jill, I have been off location and quite inactive with the business. Yes, I communicate through e-mails and web meetings. But my presence is needed for this." Now, his hands are on his hips and glaring down at me. I know I've hit a nerve." We stare at each other, waiting on the other to speak.
"Okay, I'm sorry. I know you've put us as priority…and babysitting Bindi, I guess I haven't given your company much thought. I'm sorry." I stand from the bed and wrap my arms around his waist, looping through his bent elbows. I'm a bit relieved when he pulls me in.
"You are my priority—always. Another reason why I must go. I need to add you as the beneficiary to the company. I'll have my attorney draw up the request."
Breathing in, I smile and beg his forgiveness batting my eyes, waiting on a kiss. Kissing my lips, he holds me close and whispers in my ear. "You will always be the most important thing in my life. Please, don't worry." I pull away and look in his eyes. "I'll make sure to take you next time. I promise. I just didn't want Bindi to be left with another sitter."
"You are a wonderful grandfather, husband, and father," I compliment him, but it's more of a reminder. This rest of the evening, we have our dinner, watch our favorite shows, and lay in each other's arms with not another word about it. But something still stabs at me. It's nothing, Jill. Michael is a wonderful, loving man. You have nothing to worry about.
Lying in his arms, he falls asleep, and I watch him before waking and going to bed. I study his perfect-to-me features. How different he looks from when I first met him all those years ago as a young twenty-something man. The minute I saw him for the first time in years, I knew the contour of his brow, the ridge of his nose, and the small cleft beneath his lips. I now see the lines around his eyes, his five o'clock shadow on his jaw, and his face has become leaner and more defined. But he's still Michael. Young or old, he is forever woven into my heart.
As much as I hate to wake him, I do. "Hey, sleepyhead. Let's get you to bed. You have a plane to catch in the morning." He cracks open one eye, and I help him up and to bed. When I return from the bathroom, I'm expecting him to pull me down and make love. However, walking in, I see his fast asleep. Though I'm slightly disappointed, I kiss his forehead, turn off the light and climb into bed next to him.
We wake early, and I rush around, busying myself with positive actions while showing Michael my full support. "I have your breakfast ready," I say when he walks into the kitchen. Pouring his coffee, I notice how handsome he looks this morning. He looks handsome every morning. Why does he look so astronomical today? It's because he's leaving. “Shut up,” I tell that devil in my mind. "You smell good," I say, bending down and kissing his smooth, shaven cheeks.
"Thank you."
"You sure you have everything you need? What about your wash bag?" I cringe and remember the condoms I once found. He looks up and cocks a brow. He remembers. "I mean, did you pack your pravastatin and vitamins?"
He reaches over and pulls me into his arms. Looking up at me, he smiles. "Jill, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. I understand not having your trust…"
"No, Michael. It's not that. I'm a nurse, and you know how we are about taking our meds at actuate times. I just didn't see you pack them."
"Touché. Would you please pack them for me?" He grins, and I bend down to kiss the tip of his nose. "I love you."
"I love you, too."
We leave for the airport, and there's one more thing I want to ask. But I know what the answer will be—and it will only deepen my suspicions. "Is there a number at the jet center where I can reach you…if there's an emergency?"
"Just call my cell. It will be on me at times." And there it is.
"Oh, I know. I just didn't want to call and have your phone go off and interrupt your meeting."
"My phone is always on vibrate. If I don't pick up, leave a message." Always on vibrate. Good to know. Stop it!
He pulls up to the terminal drop off and parks. "Don't you want to park in the garage?"
"No, I'm going to get through security and then start all with all the emails and phone calls while I wait to board."
"But, Michael. Your plane doesn't leave for another hour."
"Exactly. It will take an hour to get caught up."
I can see there is no winning this one. "Okay. Well, please call me when you get in."
"I will. Thanks for watching Bindi."
"Of course. She's my granddaughter too." We kiss before getting out of the car and then again before I return to the driver's seat. He waves before walking through the doors.
He's telling the truth. It's business. It's...Seattle.
Five hours and still no word from Michael. I know, because I have watched the clock non-stop since returning home. I want to enjoy this day with Bindi and do all the grandma stuff. Bake cookies, go for a walk, go shopping and buy little, fr
illy dresses. But instead, I'm consuming once again over what I don't know is going on. Monica read right into my edginess when dropping Bindi off. I tried to convince her it was just the excitement of being with my granddaughter today. Damn it. I don't want it to be like this.
Looking outside, I feel guilty not taking her out on this gorgeous afternoon. Why not? I have my cell. Michael will call. He will. "Bindi-Roo, want to play outside?" She smiles and gives a big noddy-nod, her blonde curls bouncing around her head. "Okay, let's get your jacket and Grammy will take you." She toddles out of the room, knowing exactly where her bag is and comes running in just as fast as her little legs will take her.
Now bundled up, she runs to the patio door and points outside.
"Swing," she says.
"Yes, Grammy will push you on your swing." I open the door, and she beelines to the Little Tykes swing Michael hung from the tree. Just looking at the thing makes me feel guilty. All the things he does for his granddaughter…and me. And I'm still not trusting of him? Do I only trust him on a leash? Ah, I must stop this.
Bindi does her best to climb into the swing, but it takes one last final push from Grammy to help her in. "You ready?" Another big noddy-nod with a happy smile. "Is this what Grandpa does? Pushes you on the swing?" I give a small push, and she giggles as the swing moves back and forth. "Weeee. Is that fun?"
"Yes," she says, followed with more giggles. I look across the yard at the treehouse Michael built for Monica, now with a fresh coat of paint intended for the next generation. Michael said she's already got to the top step and to watch her when out back. He's fully in this time, and I should stop worrying. I shake it off, take a cleansing breath and say, "He would never hurt me again. He loves us and especially this little girl." Then, the comment he made about Cami, and how they are still…friends…business partners. And this is a business trip.
Love, Michael: A second chance romance Page 31