“But inside, where the hit man may be, I would be alone?”
“If you stayed put and say, maybe Roth there, came and stayed with you, you wouldn’t be alone,” Jacob said, sounding uncomfortable, and still talking to the wall. “And with a male present, it would be less likely that anyone would try to harm you.”
“Why don’t I just move somewhere more secure?” I still didn’t like the idea of Adam putting himself in danger for me, or for Jacob.
“If you did stay and he stayed with you,” Jacob went on, not answering my question, and looking very uncomfortable now, “because he’s a prosecutor, he might notice things. Things that could help us. Nobody would really suspect him being in your building, since the two of you are dating. “
“Okay, so that might an advantage for you …”
“And if he were willing to help, unofficially of course, it could ultimately be an advantage to him, although there would be no direct advantage for you.”
“So, if I go into protection I can write full time for a while, but I can’t even talk to the person who I’m romantically involved with or any of my friends for an indefinite amount of time. If I stay and Adam comes and shacks up with me, it could benefit his career, but in the meanwhile, I may not have time to write very much, because of my new career as a prosecutor.”
“Uh yeah, pretty much,” Jacob agreed. “And we would prefer you be assigned with him in court, so you would be spending all of your time together.”
He looked directly at Adam as he said that last part and it occurred to me that I might not even have a choice in the matter. Adam might not be interested in this little plan, potential career advantage or not. He had said he would be willing to stay with me temporarily, but live and work with me indefinitely? I looked at Adam too, desperately wanting him to give me some sign of what he was thinking but he wouldn’t even look at me.
“Can I talk to Adam alone please?”
“Of course,” Jacob answered, getting up. He paused when he got to the door and turned to look at me. I thought he was going to say something else, but he seemed to change his mind and he left, closing the door behind him. I looked at Adam as soon as Jacob was gone, but he still seemed removed and withdrawn.
“Look, Lily, it’s not forever. You’ll be back. We can pick up where we left off,” he said, sounding tense, and staring off into space.
Suddenly, I felt sick. I had been hoping that he would ask me to stay, but he obviously didn’t want to have to work and live with me. I guess I couldn’t blame him, but my stomach still roiled, as a lump formed in my throat, and my eyes started to sting with unshed tears.
“So, you want me to go,” I said miserably, willing myself not to cry.
“What?” he asked, finally looking at me. “I don’t want you to go. I figured you would want to go.” He looked genuinely shocked and upset.
“Well, I don’t want to go, you asshole,” I said, my voice cracking with emotion.
“Well why not, you nutty broad?”
“Because first of all, I don’t want to let some dickhead bully run me out of town. I have always stood up for myself in the past, and I’m not going to just run away, or be run out of my home either for that matter. But secondly, Adam, I wouldn’t be able to even talk to you, for God knows how long.” To my horror, I felt a single hot tear slowly run down my cheek.
“But you told me your writing was everything.” The way he spit the words out made them sound like an accusation.
“I said that my writing was one of the most important things to me. If you don’t want to spend all your time with me, though, just tell me and I’ll go.”
“No! That’s not what I mean! What I’m asking you is, are you saying that I’m as important to you as your writing?” It looked like he was still trying to process that information.
“Why is that so hard for an egomaniac like you to believe?” My voice was rising in pitch so much I was starting to sound like a little girl.
“Oh I don’t know. Maybe because you’ve never given me any indication that you’ve had anything but contempt for me?” He sounded angry and confused but also stunned.
“Contempt?! Adam, I went on a date with you. I kissed you. I let you fuck me! Many times! What did you think that was?”
“Okay, you’re attracted to me, but you love writing!” Now, it sounded almost like he was issuing a challenge, his voice so strained with tension and emotion that he sounded hoarse.
“Yes, I love writing!” I myself was starting to sound hysterical, my vision was now getting blurry with tears.
“If you went you could write full time, and you love writing,” he repeated, emphasizing that word again. “So if you care about me as much …” Oh God. He wasn’t going to make me admit…
“Yes, Adam I love writing,” I broke in. “And I want to stay anyway. With you,” I said, praying that the very deep intense look that I was giving him would be enough. I was so freaking overwhelmed. It was something I had never even admitted to myself, let alone to anyone else, let alone to him, but I knew that it was true. I was in love with Adam. I was totally fucked.
“Good! Because I want you to stay, even though I know it’s not going to be easy spending all our time together. I’ve always loved my freedom, Lily, really loved it, but I want you to stay anyway, because I care about you as much. Do you understand?” He looked back at me just as intently. It was like we were willing each other to hear what we couldn’t say.
Before I could even respond, he came around the table, yanked me into his arms and kissed me hard. I slid my arms around his neck and kissed him back for all I was worth. The tears flowed down my cheeks, getting both of us wet as we desperately tried to express with our frantic kisses what we couldn’t yet with our words. After a couple of minutes of ardent tongue tangling, I pulled back breathlessly.
“But you could be in danger. What if something happens to you?”
“Nothing is going to happen. I’ll be careful. I promise.”
“How long do you think we’ve …?”
“Since I licked your Fruit Roll-Up.”
“I hate Shari Edelstein,” I said emotionally, and slowly, the two of us started laughing. “And I think I just cast my lot with a guy who once put a fungus from the bio lab in my lunch bag,” I gasped and we laughed even harder.
Chapter Nineteen
Because of my sorry state of dress, Adam took me to Gabrielle and Braden’s apartment, which was less than five minutes away. Gab crushed me into a rib-bruising hug until I almost couldn’t breathe, while her Chihuahua, Bruno, sniffed me suspiciously. I didn’t blame him. I would be suspicious too.
After making me promise her that I was okay, she finally let go and I saw her look over at her husband. Braden and Adam seemed to be sharing some unspoken communication. Braden patted Adam on the back and, as if by signal, Gab immediately rushed me into her bathroom. She left and came back a minute later, bringing me clothes to change into. Luckily, she and I were about the same size.
“Get in the shower and warm up. I’m going to wait in here with you if it’s okay. I want to give Adam a chance to talk to Braden alone.”
“About this federal case?” I asked, stripping out of my soggy dress and tattered stockings.
“So that Braden can give him some support. I’m sure this was very hard for him.”
“Did someone chase him into a dark courtyard in the freezing rain?”
“Someone chased his girlfriend into one, and he wasn’t there to protect her.”
“It wasn’t his fault he wasn’t there. How could he have known I would be stalked in a library? It’s not a real hotbed of criminal activity, you know?”
“That’s not the point, Lil. That helpless feeling really hits guys hard. They want to be able to do something when we’re in danger.”
“He’s a lawyer. What could he have done against some creep in OJ gloves? Subpoenaed him, cross-examined him?”
“The male brain is not always logical or practic
al. If you remember, I got stuck in that situation in lock-up just before Braden and I got married. He was hardly willing to be out of physical contact with me for at least twenty-four hours afterward. I thought he was going to cuff me to him. He waited outside the bathroom door when I peed.”
I thought about that as I hopped in the shower. Actually, I had no problem with the idea of Adam holding onto me for a day or so, as long as he wanted to do it in bed. The cuffs could be kind of fun. Gab and I talked through the curtain, and I filled her in on some of the details about that weekend.
“So, how was the sex?” she asked.
“Gabrielle, I just did the fifty yard dash barefoot through a hurricane in the dark. Maybe this isn’t the best time for a girl talk.”
“I think that now is the perfect time. So, can Adam do anything with that mouth besides piss people off?”
“Are you going to tell me about Braden’s mouth?” I asked, working some shampoo into my hair.
“I’m happy to report that my husband’s oral skills are not limited to advocacy, and he’s a very generous man. Your turn.”
“Well, Adam is orally gifted as well, and let’s just say, he’s a giver. Are you happy?”
“I’ll bet you are,” she teased. “And how about everything else? Is he good at giving you a ride, and does he get you where you need to go?”
“Yes, and more than once, for the first time ever. He’s got amazing stamina.”
“Braden does too. I wonder if they have some kind of secret.”
“Yeah, I think it’s called practice,” I joked.
“Well, according to my insider information, Adam hadn’t gone out to a club in a month when he saw you that night. Apparently, that was a record for him.”
“Well, I guess it’s a good thing for him we ran into each other, although he would have gotten quicker relief from his busty blonde friend.”
“It’s a good thing you mentioned to me where you were going that night.” Her words took a moment to sink in.
“What do you mean?” I pulled the shower curtain aside, stuck my head out, and cocked an eyebrow at her suspiciously.
“I may have mentioned to him that if he were going to K2 that night, and he ran into you and Bruce, he should say ‘hi’ for me.”
“And did you manage to work in that Bruce was gay?” I asked, cynically.
“I may have,” she answered with an innocent smile.
“So, you were playing matchmaker,” I said, shaking my head.
I smiled back and popped back under the water to rinse my soapy hair and think about that some more. After a quick layer of conditioner, I finished up, got out and wrapped myself in the big fluffy towel she offered.
“There’s a hair dryer under the sink. I’m going to go back out with the guys while you get dressed. We ordered Italian food and it should be here soon.”
“Thanks, Gabrielle. I really appreciate it.” And I wasn’t just talking about the fettuccini.
She turned and I slipped on the new bra and panties, tags still attached. I unwrapped the towel from my head and dried my crazy, wavy hair and put it up in a ponytail, checking myself out in the mirror quickly. I didn’t see some haunted stalking victim staring back, but rather a strong woman who was thankful to know that there really were people who cared about her. Slipping on the yoga pants, sweatshirt, socks and sneakers she had also left, I went in to join everyone else in the living room. I realized when I got there that I was also thankful that they’d ordered food. Suddenly, I really was hungry.
Braden and Gabrielle sat close together on a loveseat, with their tiny dog lounging contentedly on their laps. Adam sat slumped on its mate across from them. He looked up when I came in and I could see by the bruised look under his eyes how weary he was. The adrenaline had obviously left his system. There was a buzz and Braden got up and set Bruno down on the floor. The food had arrived.
“Baby, why don’t we go down and get it? We’ll be right back,” Braden said, heading for the door. Gab got up and followed and I went over to sit next to Adam. We stared at each other silently for a moment.
“So, Roth, you know I’m going to expect you to have your own toothbrush,” I said, giving him a very serious look. Slowly, a smile spread across his face.
Over dinner Braden and Gab helped me put a plan together. I would just spend the night at Adam’s place and go to work with him the next day. We would take care of everything else over the weekend. After we ate, we cleaned up and Adam and I got ready to go. Before we left, Gab brought me a suit bag and tote bag with more clothes.
“Here’s something to wear to court tomorrow and a few other things,” she said, handing it to me. I peeked inside the tote and saw something familiar on top.
“Those are your cow jammies, Gab. You can’t lend me those. They’re special.”
“Take them, Lily,” she said solemnly.
“I can’t take them.”
“Yes, you can,” Braden broke in. “In fact, keep them as long as you want.”
“Hang on,” Adam chimed in dubiously, “cow jammies?”
“Pink flannel cow jammies,” Braden clarified, giving Adam a speaking glance.
“You don’t need cow jammies,” Adam said, looking kind of worried.
“They’re comforting,” Gab said indignantly.
“I’ll comfort her,” Adam shot back. “And I can do it better if she’s naked.”
“Oh, for crying out loud,” I said, giving him a reproving look. “Thank you Gabrielle, I’ll be honored to wear your cow jammies.” She and I hugged and I saw Adam glare at Braden, who looked like he was trying not to laugh.
Chapter Twenty
When I came out of the bedroom wearing Gab’s faded pajamas with pictures of smiling, demented-looking cows, Adam put his hand in front of his mouth, cocking an eyebrow at me.
“Those cows look kind of disturbed,” he said, his voice cracking a little.
“They’re mad cows,” I answered dryly and he almost lost it. “Speaking of mad, this was such a crazy night, it was like something that would happen to Gabrielle.” I went and sat on the sofa and he moved over to sit beside me. I guess the cow jammies weren’t that repulsive.
“So, tell me more about you and Sachs,” he said, putting his feet up on an ottoman and resting his arm on the back of the sofa. Even though the pose was casual, I sensed tension.
“There’s not much to tell,” I replied, turning to face him. “He was in his third year and I was in my first. I talked to him at a party one night. I thought he was cute and sexy. He asked me out on a date and I said yes.”
“You said he reminded you of me.” He was trying to be serious, but every time he glanced down at my sleep apparel he almost cracked up.
“He did remind me of you, except he was nice to me,” I teased. “Anyway, we dated for a little while and then he graduated and went to D.C. to work. The end.”
“You weren’t all heartbroken?”
“No, Adam, I wasn’t. He didn’t get me stirred up emotionally. He was just a cute sexy guy who I had some fun with for a while. He wasn’t heartbroken either when he left.” What I thought, but didn’t say, was, “he wasn’t you.”
“You slept with him, though,” he said, almost accusatorially, suddenly finding the wall very interesting.
“We were dating,” I answered defensively.
“The thought of him touching you makes me want to kill him,” he went on, still not making eye contact. “When he said you could talk to him anytime, and he would visit you, I almost did kill him.”
“At least he’s only one person. We probably couldn’t go out to most clubs in the city without running into someone you’ve had carnal knowledge of. That doesn’t exactly thrill me either, you know.”
“I don’t even remember their names,” he replied, finally looking at me again. “I probably wouldn’t recognize them if I saw them. It was completely meaningless and mechanical.”
“And it’s not meaningless and mechanical with m
e?”
“No!” he replied indignantly, scowling at me, and looking offended.
“Well, sex is different for me with you too. I don’t know if it was ever ‘mechanical’ per se with other people, but it was just physical. I never felt anything else.” There, I had just told him I felt something. That was progress.
“I appreciate that, although, it wouldn’t hurt if you told me it was better physically too.”
“It is!” I said with a laugh, relieved he was letting my revelation pass. “Seriously, I’ve never been so orgasmic in my life. You could probably make me come just by rubbing my back.”
“Really?” he asked, sounding much too intrigued.
“Why? And why are you looking at me like that?”
“I was just thinking that would be really hot, if we were out with other people, and I got you off without anyone else suspecting.”
“I’m not sure no one else would suspect. I’m not exactly stoic at the moment of truth.”
“It would be interesting research, wouldn’t it? Then if you wrote a scene like that into one of your novels you would know it was possible.”
“Aren’t you a prosecutor? Do the words public indecency mean anything to you?”
“I won’t get you naked, at least not where anybody could see us.” He smirked.
“Okay, look, how about if we talk about your role as my research assistant another night, like one when I haven’t been chased by some creepy guy.”
“I’m sorry. I know that must have freaked you out really badly.” He looked contrite. He also looked pretty stressed out himself, and I thought about what Gab had said.
“Adam, you know that what happened tonight, there was nothing you could have done.”
“I know,” he said, sounding unhappy. “I just wish I could have done something.”
“You couldn’t have known that something like that could even happen. Who would think anybody would try something that crazy in City Hall?”
“When I came to get you the front entrance was unlocked, but nobody was there. Your boss showed up a couple of minutes later. She said she got a call from somebody claiming to be a law clerk, who wanted her to come to a judge’s chambers in another building, but when she got there everybody had already left. Then I saw books lying on the floor,” I heard him swallow and his voice sounded hoarse, “and your shoes by the stairs.” He sounded like he was reliving it in his head.
Legal Briefs (Lawyers in Love) Page 14