She was too young to be watching television before 5 pm, apparently. She stared at the blank screen, willing herself to find something else to do before the grief overwhelmed her again.
Too late.
Tears filled her eyes as she thought about the last few days. Each morning she'd woken up with hope renewed, knowing that today would be the day that he came. And each night she nearly collapsed in her bed, defeated after he hadn't shown.
Not for the first time she wished she could just forget him entirely. Forget his deep voice, his tanned skin that always smelled vaguely of sunshine, his soft smile and eyes full of passion. Forget the way she felt in his arms. But as the teardrops slid down her pale cheeks she knew she would never forget him.
Caleb was not what she'd thought she'd wanted in a man. Hell, she'd never really considered what she had wanted in a man. Someone smart, she figured, successful. Someone who knew which wine was appropriate to drink with which cut of meat.
She had wanted someone as passionate about education as she was. Not someone who hid out in the forest. Not someone who chopped wood and tracked animals by their spoor. And yet it was just that kind of someone who had captured her heart.
And it was that kind of someone who was now breaking it.
Dani picked up her phone and stared at it. She considered for the millionth time whether to call him herself. She had his number; he'd programmed it into her phone himself.
If you call, I'll come, he'd said.
But she just couldn't bring herself to call him now. Dani wanted him to come to her. She was an independent woman, sure, but she didn't want to track him down.
No woman wanted to feel like she'd hounded a man into a relationship. Especially one who'd started their lovemaking with a warning that he wasn't the relationship type.
Besides, what if he was cruel to her? Or worse, what if he was kind? What if he tried to let her down gently by explaining his words in the cave were just a tactic to facilitate their escape? She didn't think her heart could take it.
As she stared at her phone, it rang, and Dani nearly jumped out of her skin in surprise. She fumbled for the phone but quickly recovered it, then answered. The familiar voice of her friend almost pushed away the disappointment at the realization that once again, it wasn't Caleb. Almost.
"Hey, you!" Janna's chipper voice almost assaulted her ears. Dani was suddenly thankful for her relationship with the bubbly redhead, was glad for the connection with another human being. It helped push the loneliness into the background, even if it didn't disappear entirely. "You got cabin fever yet?"
"God yes!" Dani replied with a laugh.
"That's what I thought. How about you meet me at that noodle place for lunch? My treat?"
"Sounds like a plan."
Dani hung up, trying on a smile but deciding it didn't fit. She grabbed her coat, climbed into her car, and soon pulled up in front of Janna's favorite noodle house.
"I can't believe how good these taste," Janna crooned as she slid the teriyaki-covered noodles into her mouth. "You'd think they're just plain old noodles, but they must put something addictive in their sauce. Sometimes I wake up at night in a cold sweat, dreaming about this damn sauce. They ought to bottle it; they'd make a mint."
"Uh huh," Dani said, poking at her plate.
Last night she'd woken in a cold sweat, but she hadn't been dreaming about noodles. She'd been dreaming about being devoured, about Caleb's hot mouth moving all over her body.
I'm going to lick every inch of you, Dream Caleb had said with a sultry smile. Hold still, or I'll have to start all over again.
She blushed furiously at the memory and kept her eyes down on her plate, her untouched food blurring before her eyes.
"Okay, what gives?" Janna asked. "I know my conversation isn't exactly riveting, but you've been sulking since we got here. What's going on?"
"Just tired, I guess." Dani didn't feel like getting into the gory details with her friend. As usual, she was afraid of opening up, of spilling her guts to someone. She was too used to going it alone.
"Yeah right," Janna replied, refusing to be put off. "I know you had some kind of an encounter out there in the woods with some pretty nasty guys. Is that it? Did they do something to you, besides give you a concussion?"
The concern in her voice was palpable, and Dani felt the tears fill her eyes again. She couldn't hold them back anymore and surprisingly at that moment she was happy to have someone to rest her burden on and at last opened up.
"No...yes, oh, that's not it, well, it's part of it, but not all of it."
Janna shook her head in confusion. "You're not exactly making sense here, Professor."
"It's a long story," Dani began with a sigh. "The ranger, Caleb, we sort of...became involved, and--"
Janna's gasp was so loud, the couple in the booth beside them craned their necks around in alarm. "Oh my God! You slept with him!"
"Shh! The whole town doesn't need to know it!" Dani shot her friend a furious glance, and Janna immediately apologized.
Dani composed herself before beginning her recitation of events. "Yes, we were...intimate. At first, I thought it was just a one-night thing, but it...well...happened again. He opened up to me, told me about his fucked-up past. And I thought everything was going well until he started freaking out. We didn't get a chance to talk about it, though, before we were held captive by some rogue miners. Things got pretty intense in that cave. Our captors intended to kill us, but Caleb fought his way free. I was knocked unconscious, and apparently, he put four men in the hospital, including one in a coma."
"Wow," Janna said with a breathy sigh. "Just like one of those action movies. You mess with his woman, he messes you up."
"It's scary, to think of him losing control like that. And then I woke up in the hospital, and he was nowhere to be found. He hasn't come to visit me; he hasn't called or texted. He's completely avoiding me." Dani felt the tears slip down her cheeks. "And it hurts like hell."
"Aww....I'm sorry!" Her friend reached across the booth to put her gentle hand on Dani's own. "What an asshole! What do you think happened?"
"I don't know," Dani replied with a sigh. "He kept saying he wasn't any good for me, that he was dangerous."
"Well, that's obvious. Four dudes in the hospital!"
"But he'd never hurt me!" Dani protested, and her heart agreed. "He did all of that to protect me, to keep me safe."
She couldn't bring herself to tell Janna that he'd said he loved her. That secret she would hold close to her breast like a baby bird, nurturing it, feeding it on hope. But right now it was looking pretty sickly and undernourished.
"Sounds like he has a screw loose somewhere. Just look at you! You're beautiful, smart, and successful. Any guy would be lucky to have you! Shit, Dean Fischer would give his left testicle for one night with you, and he's already been going around saying that he did have you."
"What?" Dani was livid.
"Yeah, he says you guys 'spent some time together' a few weeks back. Don't worry, nobody believes him."
"That son of a bitch! Just wait until I tell you what really happened!" Dani spent the next several minutes telling Janna about their little excursion to Newport and his love trap. By the end of the tale, Janna was just as indignant as Dani herself.
"What a little bastard! You should report him!"
"I know," Dani said but shook her head instead. "It just isn't worth it."
"Better yet, you should let lose your forest ranger on him. That would be appropriate."
Dani laughed at her friend's words. Too bad the ranger was no longer hers.
Chapter 17
The weeks passed, and Dani settled back into a semblance of her routine. She wasn't teaching this term, and there were only a few weeks left before the semester ended, so she filled her days with research. She stayed at home for as long as she could but eventually had to return to campus and to her cramped office. With the door closed tight she sat behind her desk, throwing hersel
f into her work.
Whenever thoughts of a certain handsome ranger would besiege her, she pinched herself to provide negative reinforcement. While Skinner's behaviorism was no longer a popular theory, she found the pinches helped her re-focus her mind. The downside was the endless parade of little bruises up and down her slender arms.
She made sure to wear long sleeves.
Every couple of days Dean Fischer would hunt her down. If he knocked on her office door, she would ignore it, pretending to be out. If he caught her in the halls, she always found a way to avoid him, either by ducking into the ladies’ room or hiding out in the graduate student offices, where a dean would never think to venture.
When she couldn't avoid him fast enough, and he engaged her in conversation, she would become pale and tell him she needed to go lie down and regain her strength after her ordeal in the forest. She could tell it annoyed him, but there was no way to confront her about it and still seem the concerned gentleman.
The days stretched on that way until the end of finals week. The halls gradually emptied, and faces were becoming scarce. Dani flirted with the idea of going home to Texas for the holidays. It would be nice to visit with her parents, to enjoy the warmer climate.
But she didn't think she could face her parents now, not after all that had happened. One look at her and they'd ask questions she didn't want to answer. Instead, she packed up her research and went home to her apartment.
Dani didn't feel much like celebrating, so she ignored the countless Christmas tree stands and endless lines at the mall. Instead she became a hermit, concealed in her own bubble of solitude and sadness.
The sole interruption came in the form of an unexpected golden envelope that arrived with the usual junk mail, Christmas cards, sales circulars, and bills. The envelope had no return address, and it was embossed with impressive raised print. She wasted no time opening it and was surprised to find an invitation to a holiday party at Brice Masterson's estate. It was so startling she called Janna to get her opinion.
"You got an invite to the Masterson Mansion?" Janna's tone was reverent. "Praise the Lord!"
Dani laughed. "I guess it's a good thing then?"
"A good thing? It's like Super Bowl tickets to your Texan uncles! You gotta go, Dani! Are you allowed a plus one? Please say you are!"
"Why?" Dani teased, "Have you got anyone in mind?"
"Bitch!" Janna yelled. "You better take me! This means we need to hit the stores right away and find something to wear. I bet its black tie. Is it black tie?"
Dani searched the accompanying golden card. "Doesn't say. So you think I should go?"
"I think we should go," Janna corrected her. "This is just the thing you need. If swilling champagne at a millionaire's house doesn't put you in the holiday spirit, I don't know what will!"
"I'm not sure," Dani said, her voice dropping. "What if he is there?"
"Who? Brice Masterson? I hope he is; he's a handsome devil. Besides, he's throwing the party, so he better be there!"
"No, Caleb. The forest ranger. What if he's there?"
"Then you'll ignore him just like he's been ignoring you."
"I don't know if I could stand to see him again."
"Come on, Dani!" Janna whined. "Do it for me. This might be the only chance I ever get to rub elbows with the rich and powerful. You can consider it my Christmas present!"
"Fine!" Dani said, caving.
"Woohoo!" Her friend's shout was so loud, Dani had to hold the phone away from her ear. "I'll pick you up tomorrow, and we'll hit the mall for the perfect outfit. Then if you do see your ranger, you'll look so good he'll eat his heart out."
* * *
Dani almost ran back to her car when her friend Janna led her up the walkway to the huge house on the hill. If the valet hadn't taken her keys, she probably would have. "Come on," Janna said with a gentle tug. "Will you just look at this place? It's gorgeous!"
Dani was forced to agree. Not only was the house sprawling and stately, but the grounds were decorated for the season. All around them lights twinkled in the trees and bushes. There were tasteful reindeer and snowmen made of light, and several blinking stars hung from wires that had been strung between the trees.
If only it had snowed, then this place would have been transformed into a perfect winter wonderland. She was glad it hadn't snowed, though, because she never would have made it to the door in her four-inch heels if the walkway were icy.
They entered through the large double doors, and Dani handed her invitation to the doorman. He took their coats from them and motioned toward the party.
Dani could hear festive music playing, as well as the rising and falling tones of conversation. With a deep breath, she grabbed Janna's hand and walked forward. She told herself she was just taking her hand because she was unaccustomed to parading around in high heels, but she knew it was for moral support as well.
The ladies made their way into a stunning great room that was decorated for the occasion. Twin fires burned in huge hearths that stood on either side of the large room. There were several trees, each decorated in tasteful lights and bulbs. Enormous red ribbons were tied around the columns that supported the weight of the cathedral ceiling.
Everywhere people were talking and drinking from champagne flutes, taking small hors d’oeuvres from waiters in red jackets and elf hats who were circulating among the guests. The attendees were all wealthy and well dressed. Dani fidgeted in her own outfit, hoping that she didn't stand out like a sore thumb.
Janna had insisted she buy the dress she was wearing, but she was having second thoughts. It was a flaming red Grecian style dress, with a halter that came up to a reasonable level, but which hugged her cleavage, especially on the sides, where it hinted at her barely hidden assets. Then it fell to her knees, but the waist and under the bust as well as the neckline was wrapped in a thin, dark green ribbon. It was the back; however, that exposed her pale skin almost all the way down to her bottom. Only the ribbon crossed the expanse of her smooth back.
From her ears hung two tiny green ornament balls on inch-long chains. Her dark hair was pulled up in an elegant chignon; her bangs swooped to the side. She had allowed Janna free reign on the makeup as well, and so she was now sporting a smoky eye and ruby-red lips. It was a daring look, and she hoped she was pulling it off.
Her friend had also pulled out all the stops, excited at the prospect of mingling with the Pacific Northwest's elite. But now she looked exceedingly nervous in her white gown with a plunging neckline, a simple silver necklace with matching bracelet, and long drop earrings.
Dani was amused by Janna's opinions on her surroundings. She had expected her to be a bit star struck by the people whose elbows she had insisted upon rubbing, but instead, she seemed annoyed. "Would you just get a load of this place! Who in the world needs all this space? It's just selfish!"
Dani almost spits out the sip of champagne she'd just taken when she realized her host had approached during Janna's diatribe. Her friend didn't seem to notice the millionaire standing politely at her elbow, and she continued her rant undeterred.
"I mean, he's incredibly handsome, but I'm sure he's like any other trust fund kid. Self-absorbed. Entitled. Obsessed with owning things, and people."
Dani coughed, choking on the champagne. Her eyes darted to Brice's face, but she was amazed to see what appeared to be a genuine smile on his face. "Dr. French," he interrupted, "I'm so glad to see you've made it. Please, introduce me to your delightful friend."
The blood drained entirely away from Janna's face when she realized he'd heard every word she'd said. She stood frozen, a pale ghost, as Dani introduced her.
Masterson took her limp hand and bent over it, pressing his lips to the back of her delicate hand and murmuring, "Enchanted."
Dani knew her friend was mortified, and immediately stepped in to rescue her.
"Brice, let's continue this conversation later. Right now I need the ladies’ room, and you know women must go in pa
irs. It's tradition." She laughed nervously and took Janna's hand from Brice's larger one. With a backward smile, Dani tugged her friend away from the charming millionaire who just shook his head and laughed.
"Oh. My. God." Janna looked like she was hyperventilating. "I can't believe that happened. Why couldn't I have just melted into the floor? Leave it to me to make a total idiot of myself in front of the host. He's so handsome, too. Much better looking in person. Oh shit, did that just happen?"
Dani laughed and attempted to calm her friend down. She found a quiet sitting room down the hall from the great room and settled Janna in a wingbacked chair.
"Just breathe," she said. "I've got to hand it to you, you sure know how to get a guy's attention."
Janna gave her a sick look, her chest heaving so much Dani feared her breasts might fall out of her dress.
"Relax!" she ordered the redhead. "Just sit here. I'm going to get you a drink."
Janna nodded and focused on her breathing. Dani could hear her quietly berating herself as she made her way back to the party. Weaving through the crowd, she headed to the bar. Although there were several glasses of champagne sitting on trays waiting to be served, Dani asked the bartender for a shot of Kentucky bourbon.
"You've sure got a thing for whiskeys," a familiar voice said from behind her.
Dani froze, her hand shaking so hard she was afraid she might spill the drink. She could feel his warm breath on her bare shoulder.
She closed her eyes for a moment, wanting nothing more than to sink backward into his embrace. Instead, she straightened her spine and turned, confronting the man who'd broken her heart.
* * *
From the moment he arrived he'd sensed her. He knew she was here somewhere, among the crowd of society people. Caleb cursed himself for accepting Brice's invitation.
Worth the Risk: (A Contemporary Bad Boy Romance) Page 19