Becca was Damien's girlfriend. Lila had seen them kissing from her seat in the stands before the game.
Damien smiled as he lowered his pants. "But you will, won't you?" He tugged on her shoulders, pulling her closer, then pushed her pajama bottoms down while prompting her to take off her top.
Lila blushed, upset by his words. Was that what she was to him?
Does it matter? an inner voice countered. He's here, wanting to touch you, to make love to you. Why are you complaining?
There was a strange logic to those words. What made her think she deserved better than this anyway?
She was frozen, mentally and physically. On a precipice, she didn't know whether to back away or jump off. Maybe he didn't care about her. But maybe, just maybe he did. Maybe he was too shy to say something, too afraid of what other people would think.
A tiny spark of hope was enough to drive away her dark doubts, at least for the moment. And a moment was all it took.
Damien leaned in close and pressed his lips to hers. His kiss was sloppy and tasted of beer. Lila was glad when his mouth moved lower, centering in on her nipples and attacking them with a fury.
She cried out when he bit one harshly. He laughed. "You like that, huh?"
She shivered when he bit the other, and then he was pushing her back, back onto the bed, and climbing onto her.
"You're not on the pill, are you?" he breathed into her face, the fumes making her lightheaded.
"No," she whispered. "I'm a...a virgin."
"That's what I figured." He frowned. "Better use a rubber."
She watched as he pulled out the condom and fitted it over his shaft. Then he was between her legs, his cock rubbing up and down over her slit.
"Gotta make you ready," he slurred, then pressed two fingers into her.
Lila cried out at the feeling, a twinge of pain as her tight channel protested the invasion. Damien moved them back and forth, back and forth until she could adjust to the sensation. Then he repositioned his hand, putting his thumb in contact with her clitoris.
Lila jumped, her hips bucking. No one had ever touched her there, no one but herself, and the feeling of another hand there, one she couldn't carefully control, made her shake with anxiety and desire.
"Yeah, you're gettin' there," Damien whispered, thrusting another finger into her center and speeding up his thumb. Lila could feel the moisture in her nether regions, then cringed in embarrassment when she heard the wetness around his fingers as he moved them back and forth.
"You're ready," he said finally, pulling out his fingers and positioning himself at her entrance. He moved in slowly, sliding centimeter by centimeter into her.
Lila was shivering, her head thrashing, her body a strange mix of hot and cold. The sensation of his shaft inside her was creating contradiction, a thread of pain mixed with a burst of pleasure.
"Almost there," he said, still inching forward. "This might hurt."
She felt his hand squeeze between their bodies, felt his thumb find her clit again. He traced small circles there until her leg muscles were twitching uncontrollably. Then he thrust hard, and a blast of pain hit her.
"Hold still," he said through gritted teeth. "Breathe."
She lay there, panting, each breath pulling in the faint whiff of alcohol from Damien's exhales. Her eyes were closed, and she focused on her breathing, realizing that the pain was fading. Then he began to move again, and a whole new sensation overwhelmed her.
Pleasure, intense pleasure, began spreading through her body. Lila moaned, her legs wrapping themselves around Damien's waist of their own volition. Her hips were moving by themselves, thrusting upward to slam against his as he drove into her.
Lila cried out, confused at the feeling inside her. A building up, a gathering of force, more powerful than anything she'd ever felt at her own touch. It was massive, building up and up as Damien thrust faster into her.
Suddenly it broke, waves flowing over her body. She shouted, eyes clenched tightly closed, and felt a sudden burst of moisture below.
"What the--" Damien started, automatically pulling back, his cock starting to withdraw.
Her body protested his departure. Without conscious thought, her legs tightened around his waist, and the muscles of her pussy squeezed around him.
"Fuck," he moaned, then began thrusting frantically inside her. A few more deep plunges and he buried himself in her, moaning out his release.
Afterwards he lay on her for a moment, catching his breath. Lila couldn't move, suddenly painfully shy.
After a moment Damien rose, wiping a hand across his crotch. "Uggh, I think you pissed on me," he said, pointing to his wet crotch and the corresponding spot on the bed.
Lila shot up, her eyes taking in the puddle beneath her. Her face reddened in embarrassment.
"Gross," Damien said, pulling off the condom and tossing it in the floor, then picking up her pajama top and wiping at his wet crotch.
Lila fought off tears as she watched him dress. Without a word he left the room, and she listened to hear the back door shut. When it did, she collapsed in sobs.
She didn't know what had happened. It hadn't felt like she'd... she'd... went on him. She couldn't have.
Lila was shell shocked. For a long time, she didn't move. Her thoughts were wayward sheep that had to be collected before she could even put together a sequence of events that made sense.
Damien had done the ultimate dip and dash.
Whatever spark of hope she'd harbored was now extinguished. He wouldn't be coming back to her, not after what she'd just done to him.
How did it happen? Why? She'd looked forward to being with a guy since she was twelve and discovered a stash of romance novels her mom kept hidden under her bed. It was supposed to be special. Tender. Maybe a little magical. But this had been anything but.
She'd just lost her virginity to the hottest guy in school. A dream come true, right?
Wrong.
Shame, guilt, and self-loathing had risen up to cover her, and she'd sobbed into her pillow as the sun came up, as the morning birds greeted the dawn outside her window. She hoped her sobs couldn't be heard over their song.
The memory still haunted her, still held her back from intimacy with another man. When she'd grown older and started to tentatively explore the sexual realm, not through physicality but good honest research, she'd discovered that she hadn't been guilty of Damien's accusation. It had been something else, perhaps something just as shameful. Female ejaculation. Yet another thing that made her different. That kept her from seeking out pleasure because of her fear of embarrassment.
Until tonight. And the same thing had happened. Alex hadn't said anything, but she knew he'd felt it. It was beyond embarrassing.
Lila vowed never to experience such humiliation again. That meant avoiding men like Alex Drake. Tall, Dark, and Dangerous had never been more so.
Chapter Twelve
Alex stared down at his desk, littered with mail that he couldn't focus on. The only thing his mind wanted to dwell on was his experience between the shapely thighs of a certain beautiful woman. He'd fought off the memory long enough to get home that night, but he'd been unable to sleep, so close to going back to her that he'd actually put on his jacket and made it to the front door before he forced himself to stop.
It was impossible to keep her out of his mind, no matter how hard he tried.
Alex leaned back in his office chair, swiveling around to take in the view of the city below him. Raindrops rolled down the windows, and they reminded him of the most powerful sexual experience of his life.
Alex knew what female ejaculation was, but he'd never experienced it himself. He'd always thought the nicknames it'd been given had sounded crass, but he had to admit, in this case it made sense. Lila was a squirter. A gusher. And damned if it didn't make him hornier than a three-peckered Billy goat.
She'd apologized afterwards, and he wondered again if it was because she'd climaxed all over him. He wished h
e'd told her that she never had to apologize for that. It was the single hottest thing that had ever happened to him, and he couldn't wait for it to happen again.
But it couldn't.
Lila had stressed repeatedly that it had to be over, that she wouldn't meet him privately. Solely in public. It had only been a few days since their interlude, but he was already dying to see her again, to have her beneath him again. It was an addiction, one he didn't want to end.
A flash of guilt went through him at the thought of his impending marriage. He'd been having these flashes since that night. An image of Alana entered his mind and he frowned. Strangely her image didn't invoke his guilty conscience. The supermodel was dull, lifeless, an empty doll when compared with Lila. He felt worse for Lila for carrying on the affair, since she deserved so much more than he could give her. But that didn't stop him from wanting her.
He turned back to his desk, resting his head on his hands. His eyes lit on a silver engraved invitation and he picked it up.
The Northwest Business Alliance was hosting their annual networking dinner. The most successful men and women in Portland would be in attendance, him included. Another dull night with a group of dull people who would talk about nothing but making money and spending it.
A night in Lila's arms would be so much more fun, he thought, then sat up straighter. Why not invite Lila? She was a business owner too, after all. And it was a public event.
For one millionth of a second, he realized that what he was doing was wrong. Manipulative. Inappropriate. He ignored the feeling and it passed in a blaze of yearning.
Alex picked up the phone and called the president of the NWBA. A short conversation later, and a silver engraved invitation was being couriered over to one Lila Johnstone.
Alex smiled, turning around in his chair, happy to see the burst of sunlight break through the clouds. She wouldn't be able to resist such a prime networking opportunity. Not while she was so focused on growing her business. Opportunities like this were rare, and she'd have to seize this one.
And he wouldn't waste another opportunity to be close to her.
* * *
Lila stared at the fancy invitation. The Northwest Business Alliance? Sounded like the big time. So why was a small fry like her on the invite list?
Luck of the draw, I guess.
Lila chewed her lip in indecision. She didn't like big crowds and wasn't very good at selling herself. These networking events could be perilous, full of hidden pitfalls and traps that she'd have no idea how to evade.
Or maybe she was being foolish.
She had a passion for cooking and knew she was good at it. Given time and the right circumstances, she knew she could build a respectable business. And events like the one on the invitation were stepping stones to achieving her goal.
But was she ready for such a big step?
Maybe it would be better to ease her way in. Dip her toe in before she took the big plunge. Lila paged through a local business paper looking for a starter event.
One looked promising. It advertised to "Portland business owners looking to grow their fledging businesses." Although she wasn't familiar with the address, she was familiar enough with the city layout to know that it wasn't being held in one of the flashy buildings downtown.
Right, this is my test run. At least if I fall flat on my face, it will be in front of a smaller audience.
The venue was small, a conference room at an airport hotel. There were a few speakers and a miserly offering of dry cookies and freeze-dried coffee. After the third thinly-veiled advertisement for a home-based business that even her inexperienced mind knew was nothing more than another version of that old favorite, the pyramid scheme, they were let loose to "network." A few dozen people milled around, most clustering around the cookies and coffee.
Lila sighed, glad that she'd left her mother's gray blazer in the car, figuring at the last minute that her thin green sweater would be stylish enough for her first networking event. At least she wasn't sweating under the heavy blasts of heat the vent kept blowing down on her.
She stood, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear and considering flight. This is the tough part. You can't quit now. Her heart beat against her chest and her breath came in light pants. You can do this. Just pick up a cookie, make eye contact, show a smile and start a conversation.
Lila looked down at the sad selection, deciding on a sugar cookie. She inhaled just before she took a bite and the fine coating of powdered sugar lodged in her throat, making her cough. Her eyes were watering, her face bright red. It figured.
A hand held out a paper cup of dark liquid and she took it gratefully, swallowing it down. She coughed again and made a face. The coffee was worse than the cookie.
"Thank you," she said at last when she could breathe again. Lila took in her savior, a pale, slightly overweight gentleman with thick glasses and a friendly smile.
"You looked like you needed it."
Lila smiled wryly. "I definitely did. The cookie was my first mistake. The coffee was a necessary evil."
"Glad to be of service." He stuck out a hand. "Dave Cooper."
She shook it. "Lila Johnstone."
A look of recognition appeared on his face. "Lila Johnstone? I know that name. We're from the same hometown."
"Really?" The man didn't look familiar. He was a few years older than her, she guessed, but she knew she'd remember him if she'd met him before.
"Yes. In fact, my mom just sent me an article about you."
"Your mom?"
Dave grinned sheepishly when he noticed her anxious expression. "This is coming out all wrong. What I meant to say is, I've got a couple food carts here in Portland and my mother is one of those encouraging mothers, you know, the kind that buys you a World's Greatest Son t-shirt when you're eight? Anyway, she sent me this clipping from the local paper about you catering the Masterson wedding. She said that someone else from our town was becoming a success and there was no reason why I couldn't either."
The corners of Lila's mouth were twitching in amusement. "Your mom sounds like a wonderful woman."
"She is. I'm sure she'd like to meet you too," he said, aiming a punch that didn't land at the side of her arm. "Doing the hometown proud with your big success."
Lila grimaced. "It's not quite as big as your mom thinks. I've barely gotten my catering business started her in Portland. I've only got one client."
Dave laughed. "One client's all you need, according to her. She tells her friends about the chain of "fine-dining establishments" I own. They consist of two food carts that specialize in burritos. Not exactly fine dining."
Lila smiled. "I dunno. How fine are the burritos?"
"They're not bad. They sell well enough. I'm considering buying a new cart." He gave her a grin. "Enough about me and my mother. Tell me more about this catering business of yours."
"It's a small operation right now, apparently specializing in weddings. My new client was referred by my first client."
"Brice Masterson?"
"Actually his new wife. She's a friend of mine."
"I knew it. It's all in who you know."
His mocking smile charmed her. "It is. But two clients do not a business make."
Dave nodded, scanning the room. "And a plate of cookies and a handful of advertisements don't really make a networking event either." His eyes met hers. "Still, I'm glad I came. It was wonderful to finally meet the great Lila Johnstone."
Lila rolled her eyes. "And I'm pleased to have met the fine-dining burrito maven of Portland."
"Burritos and catering," Dave mused, scratching his chin for emphasis. "Maybe there's an angle there. What say we team up to conquer the city together? Two hometown heroes, one juggernaut of a business."
Lila figured he was joking. "I'll take the under consideration," she replied. "Especially if that third client never shows up."
Dave nodded, his eyes growing serious. "You know, I could use a second opinion about those burritos.
Mom always says she loves whatever I cook, but I have my doubts. How about grabbing lunch with me sometime?"
Lila held her breath. Dave was nice, an average guy from her own town that could perhaps help ease the homesickness that welled up at times of vulnerability. He was a fellow business owner, in the same realm as her at least, and maybe he could show her the ropes.
To be honest, the expression on his face didn't scream purely business. Maybe the offer for lunch would be the start of another kind of relationship. Dave wasn't bad looking, and his smile was a little too friendly to not think that flirtation was in it somewhere. It felt nice to be desired by someone who she could connect with on multiple levels. Ones beyond the physical.
Then why did her heart scream "betrayal"? Whatever she had with Alex Drake was over, whether her body wanted to admit it or not. There was no reason to stay up nights remembering his kiss, wishing things were different. They weren't. She was catering his fucking wedding to another woman for Christ’s sakes. How much clearer did things need to be?
"I'd like that," she said. "Here's my card." She dug the pristine business card out of her clutch, glad that she had someone to finally give one to. "Call me."
"Gourmet on the Go," he murmured. "Then you do know fine dining."
Lila smiled. "And I'm anxious to find out if a burrito can meet that classification."
* * *
Alex lay in bed, staring at his ceiling. His eyes flashed to the digit clock on his bedside table, and the evil red numbers informed him that it was now 3:25 a.m. And all was not well.
The darkness weighed heavily upon him. Another lonely night. Another boring day, ruling the universe from behind his desk. He'd achieved everything he'd ever set out to, he'd gone above and beyond his goals, and he'd become so skilled at fitting into the world of wealth that he was readily accepted as one of their own.
And all that money, all that success and power, it couldn't give him what he really wanted. Not anymore.
Worth the Risk: (A Contemporary Bad Boy Romance) Page 63