He still didn't understand why Lila had rushed him out. She hadn't seemed to want anyone else to know about their liaison. But why? He'd set this whole thing up for her, at least that was how things had started out. Yet as he'd spun his plans, he'd allowed memories from the town, from his childhood, good memories, to surface for the first time in years. Those memories had prompted him to write a check to the town, to give back.
Still, as well as the night had gone, it hadn't fit his wishes exactly. Alex had been expecting some backlash from his manipulations, had known he'd have to deal with Lila's anger. But she hadn't seemed upset for long, and he'd let himself hope that the past could be put behind them. They'd be able to walk into the future, whatever it held, together.
But she'd turned him away. After another mind-bending lovemaking session. Dammit, I shouldn't have let her distract me on the stairs. I should have taken her up to bed and refused to leave it, refused to let her leave it until we were both so exhausted from making love that neither of us could get up if we wanted to.
She'd been irresistible, on fire, her little whimpers a siren song that called him to his doom. Or redemption. In the moment he'd been so sure they'd have all night that he hadn't worried about slaking their lust on the rooming house stairs. Wrong again.
What had made her push him away, after? A jolt of fear went through him at the thought that Lila wasn't in as deep as he was. Maybe her heart wasn't involved, maybe it was just her libido that he aroused. The idea left an unwelcome taste in his mouth. For years he'd had relationships in which his deeper emotions had never been touched. The thought that Lila was as impersonal as he had been was nausea-inducing.
But it didn't feel like that, not when he held her, not when he looked into her bright hazel eyes and saw her looking back at him, opening herself to him in ways she'd never done with anyone else.
Except one.
Alex grimaced. Her high school crush had certainly done a number on her. To think that idiot Damien scoffed at such a remarkable gift, that he'd forced her to hide a whole portion of herself from the world, was infuriating. And in that moment, revealing.
He thought back on their encounters, how each had ended suddenly after sex, how she'd become stiff and unyielding. Perhaps there was a clue there. It sounded like whatever had happened with Damien hadn't ended well. In fact, he'd humiliated her afterwards. Maybe that was part of the issue. She'd never had someone stay over, never spent the night in bed with another person, curled up beside someone, sharing their breaths.
Alex heard the sound of gravel crunching and then a car door being closed. He climbed out of bed, pulling on a pair of sweats and an old t-shirt. Then he padded down the hallway. The light in the living room was now joined by a glow from the kitchen.
His sister Darlene stood at the refrigerator, bending down to place a foil-wrapped packet inside. She turned when she closed the fridge, giving her brother a smile. "I was lucky to get any leftovers. It was slim pickins, I gotta say. Your lady cooks a mean supper."
Alex nodded. It was definitely true. At least the cooking part. "I wouldn't exactly call her my lady."
"Trouble in paradise?" she asked with a chuckle in her voice. "After you planned all this for her? What went wrong? I noticed ya'll left and didn't come back, so I figured it must have went well."
Alex took a seat on one of the stools at the breakfast bar. "It did. At first."
Darlene came forward, leaning her elbows on the counter and resting her chin on the palms of her hands. "And then?"
He blew out a breath, running a hand through his hair. "I dunno. She's still hesitant."
His sister's burst of laughter echoed in the confines of the small kitchen. "Cain't say I blame her. I know what an asshole you can be."
"Thanks," he mumbled, giving her a wry grin.
"Just statin' facts." Darlene watched him, her smile leveling out as she studied him. "She really got to ya, eh?"
"Yep."
"It's not her fault that she's skittish. I seen that stuff about you in the news. Cain't be easy for any lady to be spread all over the press like that. And while you was engaged to another woman, too."
Alex groaned. "No need to remind me." His sister lowered her brows, and he was reminded of when she was younger and about to go on a tirade. He held up his hands. "I don't need a lecture, Darlene. What I need is an idea of how to get her to trust me, to take another chance."
"Now ain't that somethin'. Big brother comin' to me for advice." She ignored his eye roll and scratched her head as if in thought. "I'd say, if ya want her to trust you, ya gotta give her a reason."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I know you dragged her down here for this big surprise thing, but have you really opened up to her? Shown her anything besides the inside of the Grange Hall kitchen? Given anything of yerself for real?"
Alex shook his head, not quite understanding. His sister let out a frustrated groan. "You told me that she didn't even know you was engaged when ya'll got together. How ya gonna build trust when you started everything off with a lie? Then you trick her down here, her probably hopin' this was gonna be some great new business opportunity, but it was just you again, throwin' yer weight around, giving her no say in things."
Good point.
"Then how do I get her to trust me?"
Darlene shrugged. "Start over again. Honestly. Show her the truth about you. And then let her make up her own mind."
Alex let his head fall forward, chin to his chest. "What if she decides she doesn't want me?"
Darlene laughed. "Shit, then she's a smarter woman than I woulda figured." She came around the breakfast bar, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You're a great guy," she said softly. "There's no way she can miss that, even if you're apparently a perpetual fuck-up when it comes to her."
"That's putting it lightly." He swiveled around and leaned in, planting a kiss on his sister's cheek. "When did you get so smart, little sis?"
"When I figured out what I wanted out of life."
Alex looked his little sister up and down. She wasn't so little anymore. Darlene had responsibilities of her own, running her fabric store. He'd given her the seed money she'd needed to start the shop, but she'd made it into a viable business on her own, and even repaid his initial investment. His little sister was the Hollow's equivalent of a tycoon, and he was proud of her.
What's more, her words made sense. Alex could see how content she looked, how happy. He wanted the same happiness for himself.
He kissed his little sister on the forehead and returned to his room. This time, when he'd slid between the covers and turned off the lamp, he knew what he had to do.
Alex Drake fell asleep with a determined smile on his face.
* * *
Lila had breakfast alone. Jake popped in, gave her a wave, then bypassed the dining room and went into the kitchen. She could hear his muffled voice as well as Mrs. Wheaton's. Before long he returned, carrying a tray of food.
"Tony's a tad exhausted this morning," Jake said, then gave her a wink. "I thought I'd bring him breakfast in bed."
"That Tony's a lucky guy," Lila answered. As she watched the silver haired man's well-formed back as he made his exit, she wished she was as lucky as Tony. She wanted someone to watch over her, take care of her. Looking after herself for so long, and before that caring for her mother, she couldn't remember what it felt like to have someone to lean on.
She was just finishing her plate of eggs and toast when a knock on the dining room doorframe brought her head up. Her eyes landed on the interloper, and she wasn't surprised to find that it was Alex Drake.
A flash of heat rushed over her. He was so damned handsome. She hoped he couldn't see the flush that was surely lighting up her face.
"Good morning, cupcake," he said, sauntering into the room and pulling out a chair to take a seat beside her. "Save me any breakfast?"
"I'm sure Mrs. Wheaton could--Hey!"
Alex gave her a cheeky smile as he stole the
last corner of her toast and took a bite. "No need, I'll just finish yours."
Lila quirked an eyebrow at him, holding back a laugh. She'd spent half the night wondering if she'd see him again today, fairly certain that she would. But that edge of doubt remained. Nothing about Alex Drake was predictable.
"Now that you're done," he said, using the final bite of toast to wipe up a smear of egg from the plate, "what say you come with me?"
"Where are we going?"
"You'll see."
When they arrived at their destination, Lila was taken aback. She hadn't expected him to drive down a gravel road that wound through the forests of the Tennessee hillside. They pulled up in front of an old building that was so dilapidated, she didn't know what name to give it. It almost resembled a cabin, but with a couple shabby additions from different materials.
"Welcome to the shack," Alex said, his face suddenly serious.
"The shack?"
"This is where I grew up." He turned off the car and stepped out.
Lila followed suit, careful to avoid a swampy puddle as she climbed out of the car. Alex headed up the driveway to the front door, where he stopped and waited for her to join him.
Lila noticed a padlock across the sturdy metal latch holding the front door closed. Alex extracted a small key from his pocket and opened it, then tugged the door ajar. The hinges protested mightily, but he at last managed to open the door so that they could walk in.
The inside was dark, but Alex brought out a small flashlight from his jacket pocket and shone it around the room.
Lila shivered, the air inside just as cold as outside. And the feel of the place...it was dismal in its own right.
Alex stepped behind her, rubbing his hands up and down her arms to stimulate warmth. "It's too cold in here, and you can't see shit with this flashlight. Wait here while I get some wood from out back." He handed her his flashlight, then disappeared out the door.
Lila shined the beam around the space, frowning at the worn furniture and layers of grime on everything. The shack had clearly been shut up for years, but beneath the dust were furnishing so ancient, they'd probably been old when Alex himself was young.
A few ragged chairs, a rug that was stained and torn, a mess of cracked and dirty dishes in the sink. Lila's heart went out to Alex in that moment. She now saw how difficult a childhood he must have had, crammed with his parents and six sisters in this tiny, run-down shack.
A creak of the front door hinges brought her attention back and she swung the light around to the doorway.
An old man stood there. He flung an arm to cover his face. "Git that light outta my eyes."
"Sorry." She pointed the flashlight at the floor then stood frozen, unsure of what to do.
"Yer the one he wanted us to meet?"
Lila's mouth opened, but it was a moment before anything came out. "I'm sorry?"
"My boy. He said he had someone ferus to meet. You ain't her, are ya?"
Lila stared hard at the man in the doorway. Although he was stooped, his frame was still tall. White hair and a ruddy complexion that came from years of drinking. As a breeze blew through the doorway, Lila could smell the liquor on his clothes.
Her mind flashed to the photos on Ruth Ann's mantle. In the doorway stood Alex Drake's father.
"I'm Lila Johnstone," she said, stepping closer but deciding not to offer her hand. "I'm a friend of your son's."
He grunted in response. "You ain't who I was expectin'."
Lila shrugged. "Who were you expecting?"
"That lady from the TV. The blond one." He eyed her up and down. "Skinny one."
Lila's heartbeat sped up. Alana Morgan. She said nothing, but he saw the recognition in her eyes.
"You know her. The one that's fixin' to marry my boy. She's classy, that one. A real lady." His eyes broadcast that Lila was anything but.
"Well I'm not her." And I wish people would quit reminding me of that fact.
"Sure ain't." The old man looked her up and down again, then turned and left.
Lila stood there in the cold dark. The chills that ran down her back had nothing to do with the winter temperature.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Alex headed behind the shack to the old wood pile. He had to dig through it for logs that were dry enough to burn and not covered in moss. As he worked, he took in the view. The shack was even more dilapidated than it had been in his youth, when he'd helped his father keep it patched together with wood glue and tape.
He would have done anything to get out of here when he was a boy. He'd devoted himself to study, to achievement, in order to pull himself out of this dark hole of poverty. But the physical conditions hadn't been the worst part. No, the worst had been his father's chaotic rule.
Alex had felt so helpless, unable to do anything but watch as his mother gave up on life and succumbed to a sequence of chronic illnesses. Impotent to stop his father's drinking, his seemingly instinctive cruelty. So he'd worked hard and escaped, only to fall into another trap.
Even as his father had taken all his choices from him in childhood, in college he'd found himself still living under someone else's rules. In order to climb the ladder of success, he'd had to reign his true self in. He was no more free in the box he'd put himself in during his adult life than he was a child. But he was the one who was limiting himself, and there was no one else to blame.
But no longer. Alex would now live life on his own terms. As long as those terms included Lila.
Picking up several logs, he headed back around to the front of the shack. He bustled inside, tossing the logs down next to the rusty stove, then rummaged around in the kindling box. Before long, a fire was going in the stove's belly and light was coming into the room.
Alex pulled back a few curtains, then returned to Lila. "This is it."
Lila nodded, her eyes scanning the room, taking in everything but not meeting his own gaze. Strange. Alex pointed out the sleeping loft, where his sisters had all slept in two queen-sized beds. Then he showed her down the hall, to the cramped rooms in the back. One had belonged to his parents, the other to him.
As the only boy, he'd graduated to his own room. It was the size of his walk-in closet back in Portland, room only for a twin bed and a dresser. But it had been his refuge for most of his teenage years.
Back in that old room, he stood there, taking it in, not saying anything. Lila stood beside him, equally quiet. After a few moments he led her back to the main room and the warmth of the stove.
They stood in the silence, Lila holding her hands toward the fire to heat them up. "Why did you bring me here?" she asked after a while.
Alex met her eyes. Eyes that shined like molten gold in the firelight. "I wanted to show you where I came from." His face softened, growing thoughtful. "I know that back home I wear expensive suits and live in a house that could fit several of these shacks inside it. But I came from here." He jerked his head, indicating his humble surroundings. "And as much as I've tried to bury that fact, I don't want to hide it anymore, not from you."
Lila looked pensive. "I appreciate you showing me this."
The fire started to dim and Alex saw no reason to add another log. He took Lila's hand in his own and led her outside, re-securing the padlock and escorting her back to the car. As they drove down the long gravel drive, he snuck a peek at her.
She was silent, staring out the window, her face a closed book.
"I was hoping we could spend the day together." His hand crept across the seat to capture hers. "Maybe I could show you around the Hollow."
"It's a tempting offer," she said, her pitch high and unnatural, "but I have to decline. We fly out tomorrow, and I have to pack. I'd also like to rest, as I assume we'll have to leave pretty early to make it back to Atlanta for the flight."
Alex couldn't believe the words he was hearing. It was barely noon. "I'll have you back early."
Lila shook her head and pulled her hand out of his grip. An expression of hurt flashed across
her face, so fast he almost missed it.
"Lila, what's going on?"
"Nothing," she croaked. "I just want to rest."
"Bullshit." He scowled, wondering what was going on in her beautiful head. "What's wrong?"
"This!" she said at last, the words coming out in a loud burst. "This is wrong. I don't know what we're doing here. I don't understand what's changed."
"You don't understand?" He fought to keep the frustration and anger out of his voice. "I want to be with you. I want to spend time with you."
"For how long?" Her bottom lip quivered, but her eyes flashed fire. "I know you like relaxing around me and letting your roots show, but when we get back to Portland, it's not going to be the same."
"Lila--"
"No," she interrupted. "You're still you, rich, handsome Alexander Drake. And I'm still me, overweight and now unemployed. Those two people don't belong together."
"Nonsense!" His irritation was building. "I want to be with you!"
"So we go back then and carry on, that's your plan?" Her face was strained, and Alex prayed that she wouldn't start crying. He'd lose it if she started crying. "Keep our fucking a secret this time and nobody gets hurt?"
"That's enough!" He jerked the car over to the side of the road and slammed to a halt. "It won't be like last time."
"It will. Nothing's changed. And I won't pretend it has. I can't be what you need. I'm never going to fit in with your set, and I can't keep sneaking around. I won't. But I won't be badgered by the press either. It would never work--"
"Lila." His voice was a rough whisper. Alex slid an arm behind her head and with the other hand, pulled her face to his. "Stop fighting this."
Worth the Risk: (A Contemporary Bad Boy Romance) Page 73