Raven felt his strength boosting her confidence. She had to be strong—by doing so it would help Ben. The last thing she wanted was for him to be worrying about her when he was in a dangerous situation.
“I will, but only if it comes to that.” She couldn’t believe she managed to speak the words confidently. A shocking realization sent a shiver down her spine.
“Thank you.” He kissed her, squeezing her shoulders. His lips were warm on hers and sent a delightful burst of pleasure through her. He broke the kiss slowly.
“I’ve got to go.”
“I’ll see you later. You keep yourself safe.”
“I will, just for you.” He grinned, but his eyes didn’t light up with cheekiness.
Raven watched him walk from the room. While the last few days her thoughts were full of doubt about whether she could cope with life on the farm, she just had a small revelation—she didn’t think she would be able to walk away from the farm not knowing if she would be able to return.
Raven walked down to the kitchen in search of a strong cup of coffee. She suppressed a yawn as she walked in and rubbed the remaining sleep from her eyes. Surprised Janette wasn’t there, she picked up the kettle and took it to the sink. Looking out the window to the backyard as the kettle filled with rainwater, she spied Janette hanging up Ben’s work clothes on the clothesline.
That’s odd.
She didn’t think that it would be a good idea to hang out clothes when there was a fire nearby.
Surely, they’d end up smelling of smoke and would have to be rewashed?
Raven set the kettle to boil, then realized that Janette might not be aware of the fire flaring up. She went outside.
“Morning,” called Janette from behind Ben’s jeans as she pegged them to the line.
“Morning.” Raven paused, sure from the happy tone from Janette that she indeed didn’t know.
“Thought you two might enjoy a little sleep-in.”
Raven’s cheeks brightened with heat. She was still mortified she’d been caught with Ben. Besides, it was only just after seven in the morning, and Raven didn’t consider this anything close to a sleep-in by her city standards.
“Where’s Ben, anyway?” Janette turned and picked up a red checkered shirt and gave it a sharp flick before pegging it to dry.
“Out fighting the fire.”
Janette’s face whitened. “But I thought it was out.”
Raven shook her head. “He got an early call this morning.”
Janette sighed heavily. “This isn’t good.”
“No.”
“Better take these clothes inside then, and here I was thinking I was getting ahead. I’ll need to start prepping for Christmas today.”
“Let me help.” Raven took down Ben’s damp jeans and slung them in the laundry basket.
“Thanks.” Janette looked stoic as she picked up the basket.
“Here, let me,” offered Raven. She was beginning to feel helpless again.
“I’ve got it. Come on inside. Best start the day with a cup of tea.” She put on a brave smile. “Perhaps a coffee for you, though.”
Raven tried to smile back, but she was too worried about the fire. Finally, Janette seemed to be getting the hang of her tastes in hot drinks. A small step, but to Raven, it felt significant.
A gush of wind whipped around her, its breath warm for the morning, yet a chill went through Raven. “Did you feel that?”
“Wind’s changed direction.”
Raven couldn’t shake off that was a bad omen as they returned inside. She went to finish making herself a coffee and got a pot of tea brewing for Janette while she hung the clothes on an airing rack inside. She didn’t think she could stomach breakfast this morning as her stomach was a roiling mess of fear and worry. Of the fire. For Ben. Even for Janette. And of course, the farm and the animals.
“I have a tea ready for you,” said Raven as Janette came into the kitchen. “Take a seat and rest your legs.”
“Thanks, it’s going to be another big day of cooking.”
Raven nodded her head as she sat down on the kitchen chair opposite Janette. Silence settled between them as they were both lost in their own thoughts and concerns.
The phone rang.
The sound broke through her thoughts causing Raven to jump. Tea sloshed over the edge of her cup. “Dammit.”
“I’ll get it.” Janette got up from sitting at the table with a groan and went to answer the phone set on a small table in the hallway.
Raven reached over for a tea towel and wiped the spilled tea. Her head pounded, and she rubbed her temples trying to get her thoughts to settle. Was this what her future would be like on the farm? The loneliness returned with a force, and she struggled to ignore it.
“That was Anne. The fire is a bit of a beast, and the women from the CWA are getting some food together for those fighting the fire.” Her voice was thick with worry as she came back into the kitchen.
“CWA?”
“Country Women’s Association.” Janette opened the fridge door and began taking out food—cold cuts of meat, lettuce, and tomato.
Raven wondered if Janette was sugar-coating things for her. “That sounds bad.”
“I’m sure they will get it under control before dark. What we need to do is to make some sandwiches, but I’m out of bread.”
“I’ll go into town. Tell me what you need me to get,” Raven said. At least the trip into Keith would help her feel like she was actually doing something to help.
“I’ll write out a list for you.”
List in hand, Raven drove carefully into Keith. Every time she glanced in the rearview mirror, she could see a glimpse of the smoke from the fire. It was weird carrying on like this, knowing that at least Brumbie had lost his home and some of his stock, and now with the flare-up, there could be more loss.
Raven focused on driving as she turned down the main street of Keith. It was early, eight o’clock, but the supermarket was open. She went straight there and worked systematically through the list Janette had written for her. It felt like she was buying enough food to feed an army.
Loading the car with the bags of food, she looked up the street. She still hadn’t gotten Ben a gift. Now wasn’t really the time, but since the shops were opening and Janette told her to be back by ten, she thought a little retail distraction might help get her mind off of how Ben was doing.
I’ll hurry. Considering she had no idea what to get him, she wasn’t sure this quick shop would result in a gift. If she didn’t look now, she wasn’t sure she’d get a gift for him before Christmas. Since this was their first Christmas together, she wanted to have something meaningful to give him.
Better I get this gift now.
Raven started walking along the main street, trying to decide which store might yield the perfect Christmas gift for Ben. Not only didn’t she have a lot of time to indulge in gift shopping, there wasn’t much choice here in Keith in terms of shops.
There was a Mitre Ten hardware store behind her, but she had no idea what tools he might need on the farm.
The JK Jewelers’ store sign ahead caught her attention. He wasn’t the sort of man who wore jewelry. She’d even noticed that the men didn’t wear their wedding rings, and when she asked, she was told it was for safety. There were a few stories of men getting the rings caught in machinery and losing a finger at best or part of their arm at worst.
Her heart squeezed a little with disappointment. She’d always imagined her man would wear their wedding ring. But then again, things were different and hadn’t gone to plan by falling in love with a farmer. She’d rather he was alive than risk his life wearing a wedding ring. She surprised herself with such thoughts. With all the doubt whirling in her mind, here she was thinking that they were going to get married. She wished it would put away the feeling of loneliness from living on the farm, but it didn’t.
Raven walked past the bank. Ben had told her they were lucky to have one in town since many of
the big banks were pulling out of the smaller towns. Though Keith was considered one of the bigger country townships around here, which meant they had a bank, a school, and even a library. But no hospital.
There was the local pharmacy, which also had a section for gifts. Raven kept walking, thinking that there had to be a better option.
“How are you, Raven? That’s not good about that fire,” said Mrs. Peterson as she approached her. She pushed a walker. She used to be Ben’s primary school teacher, and one person she’d met a few times when in town with Ben. She liked that she tried not to remember just her but also speak with her.
“No, I hope they get it out soon.” Ben had told her how she was one of the few teachers who had stayed in the area when they came here to teach, only because she’d married a local farmer.
“I’m sure they will. I need to get up to the CWA. We’re making some sandwiches for those at the fire.” Mrs. Peterson continued on, pushing her walker to keep her steady on her feet.
“I’m helping Janette get some ready, too.”
Mrs. Peterson nodded. “That sounds like Janette. I’ll see you later.”
“Bye.” The reminder of the fire twisted at her stomach. I should go home now.
But for some reason, she stayed and looked down the street at the line of shops. There weren’t a lot of options, and she didn’t want to make do for Ben’s present. Besides, since there weren’t so many shops, it wouldn’t take long to have a look at what she might be able to get him.
If only I had time to go to Adelaide. She would’ve perhaps bought something online if she knew it would arrive on time. It was too close to Christmas now, and since she lived away from a major city, it was likely to arrive too late.
A reflection on a sign caught her attention—Heart and Soul Gifts. The gift shop was new to the area, and one that Raven wasn’t familiar with. She pushed on the front door and walked in, deciding it was as good a place as any.
Incense wafted to her as she walked inside, the smell evoking a sense of peace for her. The place was organized and neat. There were small round tables with long white cloths over them scattered around the shop. Some had candles, some fancy glass, and others had little statues of unicorns, which she really didn’t think were at all suitable as a gift for Ben.
She picked up a coconut and lime scented candle and smelled it. This could be all right for Anne. She kept it in her hand as she wandered around the shop, looking.
Raven spied some wooden, handmade items on a lower shelf along the wall. They were made from jarrah wood. There was a bowl, which she thought would be suitable for Janette. A tube which was labeled ‘pencil case,’ which she thought was a cool idea but, of course, not a suitable present for Ben.
For some reason, she kept looking through the carved objects. One, in particular, caught her attention.
Just what I was looking for.
She picked it up and turned it over in her hand. She wanted the gift to be special, to have meaning that was between her and Ben.
Her heartbeat skipped. But would he like it?
“Can I help you?” the young female shop assistant came up to Her. “I’m Nat.”
“Do you do gift wrapping?” she asked, knowing that there was no way she’d manage to find the time to wrap this gift, not with the fire. She realized they hadn’t even put up the Christmas tree yet. The fire was putting everything out of alignment.
Unsure if Ben would appreciate, let alone like this gift, she handed it to Nat. Most guys were used to getting jocks and socks, and she wondered if while predictable, if that’s what she should do. At least it would cause him to have a laugh. She looked at the carving in her hand. For whatever reason, this felt right. This had a special meaning that she couldn’t get past.
“Can you please wrap it for me?”
“Of course, Christmas paper?”
“Yes, and can you wrap the candle and bowl as well?”
“Sure thing.”
“Thanks.” Raven remembered she needed Christmas cards. She made her way over to the rack of cards. They were stock standard cards, and what she wanted was unique cards to make this Christmas together with his family special.
I could design my own, and the thought amused her. If there weren’t the fire and more time before Christmas, making her own cards could be easy. But this thought came from somewhere deeper. It wasn’t a fleeting idea, but something she could do alongside her online business, and with any luck, it might well take off.
Something to consider later. Raven went to the counter to pay and collect the wrapped gifts. If anything, thinking about making her cards might just help her stop worrying about Ben.
Janette and Raven set up a production line of sandwich-making in the kitchen. Raven couldn’t believe she was helping to make five dozen sandwiches. It wasn’t even midday yet.
The kitchen table had the bread lined up in neat columns, two slices of bread next to each other for the sandwich. The bread covered most of the space. She was going through smearing butter on them. Janette then followed with a slice of cold meat, corn beef or ham or chicken, followed with a piece of lettuce, and then a piece of tomato. Raven finished by smearing tomato chutney on one side of the sandwich and closed them up. Janette finally cut them diagonally making two large triangles.
“What do I package them into?”
“On the top shelf of the cupboard there are some big plastic containers,” said Janette, not even looking up from cutting the sandwich.
Raven opened the large kitchen cupboard and went up on her tiptoes. She could just reach the containers. Carefully, she pulled them down. They were huge. It wasn’t something she’d ever thought to have in her kitchen. It appeared that when things were done out here, they were done on a much bigger scale.
Raven wiped out the containers, then set them on a chair and started stacking the sandwiches inside them. They fit perfectly. She knew that Janette had put thought into what containers she was buying and the size. She wouldn’t have. She was impressed.
She placed the lid on the container, set it over by the counter space near the kettle, and began filling another.
“I think we should take them to the fire front,” said Janette.
“You think? Didn’t you say that they were setting up a place for volunteers to rest in Keith?” As much as Raven wanted to see Ben, she also remembered how firm he was that she stayed here.
“I did,” Janette replied firmly. “I’ll fill up some bottles of water to take as well, and that should tie them over for a bit.”
Raven saw the stern look on Janette’s face and didn’t dare argue with her. “I’ll drive, you tell me where to go.”
“Okay, let’s get going, then.”
It took two trips each to get the containers of sandwiches and bottles of water in the back of Raven’s car.
Her knuckles whitened from the tight grip she had on the steering wheel as she drove along the driveway to the public road.
“Turn right here,” instructed Janette. “It’s not hard to get to Brumbies.”
“Is that where they’ll be?”
“I’m not sure, but we’ll soon find out.”
“Should you ring Ben first and see exactly where they are?”
“No.”
Raven couldn’t help thinking that there was something else going on here for Janette. Maybe she wanted to make sure Ben was safe and sound too. She kept driving, slowly along the dirt road, her belly fluttering with nerves knowing she was driving toward the fire.
They sat in silence. The smoke billowing into the sky gradually came closer. Raven felt herself holding her breath, and she had to force herself to exhale, then inhale. She crouched forward over the steering wheel.
“Are those flames up ahead?” She squinted, trying to work out if she were now seeing the fire or not. Despite the heat, her skin prickled. She wanted to see Ben, make sure he was fine, but at the same time, the urge to turn around to flee was increasing.
“Oh my,” gasped J
anette.
The land flattened out, giving them both a full view of the fire and the damage it had done. Flames flickered in the distance, but for Raven, it felt way too close.
“You sure I should keep going?”
Janette didn’t answer. She sat, hand on her mouth, eyes wide, staring out at the scene in front of them. Tears fell down her cheeks. Flames licked their way up the trunks of the trees either side of the road, the crop that had proudly been standing in its golden glory was now burned to nothing, ash heavy on the ground.
To her right, Raven saw a CFS unit, hoses pulled from the back of the truck, men and women holding them and putting out spot fires, trying to stop it from spreading.
Then she saw Ben.
She stopped the car.
Ben was covered in black soot. Even though he was over a hundred feet away, she could see the worried look on his face. He held the hose tightly, water spurting out, barely smothering the flames.
Raven turned her gaze to where he was facing. Right then, the wind whipped around them shaking the car.
“Fuck.”
The strength of the wind created a fire twister. Flames snaked up in a rope-like fashion from the ground up into the sky. Its tip danced on the ground for seconds, moving along to the right, it’s beauty and terrifying nature captivating Raven. It sparked something inside of her. Seeing the fire twister in all its distressing flames, burned through her doubt. All the thoughts that had been tumbling around in her head wanting answers collided, and she finally knew.
There were two directions she could take—go back to city life or stay. But there was only one answer.
Fear swept through her seeing the monstrous fire out of control. The answer still remained clear. Here, seeing the snake of fire rising from the ground, she knew the answer in her bones. She was staying. Life out here in the country wasn’t what she was used to, but she knew she could adjust. To live here and be happy as long as Ben was with her. Right now, she was choosing farm life, and one way or another, she would deal with the loneliness because her home was here now. She felt her roots go down. She was not just with Ben, they would be together with their own family in the future. And that’s what she wanted.
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