by Lori Foster
“You look like a siren.” His fist moved, his fingers caressing. “Your hair is so damn soft and sexy.”
“R.J., please.” This time she did try to step away, but since he didn’t let go of her hair, she was drawn up short with a wince.
He didn’t appear to notice. “And your legs.” His free hand settled on her hip, his fingers gently squeezing as he looked down the length of her. “You have world-class legs, babe. I had no idea.”
Her breath came too fast as she frantically tried to think of a way to get him out of the room.
“I keep thinking about last night,” he continued. “How soft and sweet you were under me. I couldn’t see you then. Damn, if I had, I wouldn’t have lasted as long as I did, and we both know it wasn’t nearly long enough.”
As if that statement had reminded him of something, he jerked his gaze to her face. “You made me crazy. I hadn’t expected that. Usually I’m controlled, and I can keep the lovemaking going for hours. I enjoy watching a woman climax, hearing her cry out, feeling her tighten around me.”
His breath, coming in low, rough gusts, brushed her temple as he leaned closer, nuzzling against her. “That’s what I meant to do with you,” he whispered, the words a soft stirring of air in her ear, making her skin tingle and her toes curl. “You took me by surprise.”
His hand tightened on her hip, and he drew her close so she could feel the length of his erection against her abdomen. “I put my fingers inside you, and you were so damn wet—”
Dana jerked away with a gasp, taking several steps across the room until she was safely on the other side of the bed. She hadn’t known men talked this way, that they said things so bluntly. Or maybe it was just R.J., his natural arrogance in always speaking his mind.
“Don’t,” she rasped, the words raw and shaky. “Don’t say dumb things just to manipulate me, to get the upper hand.”
R.J. looked poleaxed. He stood there, one hand still outstretched, his chest rising and falling, twin slashes of color high on his cheekbones. Very slowly, he lowered his hand to his side. “Dumb things?”
Dana felt close to losing her composure completely. She didn’t want R.J. to see her like this, half clothed, vulnerable, behaving like a fool. If she expected to keep working with him after the marriage ended, she had to keep their relationship as normal as possible. He’d never wanted her emotions to interfere in the past. She had to believe he’d want it even less now.
She drew a deep breath and searched for control. R.J. had always liked and respected her for her reasonableness, her common sense. She dredged that up now, trying to sound cavalier. “I…I know what I look like, R.J. I’m levelheaded, not silly. And I’ve long since resigned myself to being plain. It’s not something that bothers me.”
His frown came slowly, not a frown of intensity, but one of building anger. His tone was low and rough, each word carefully enunciated. “You are not plain.”
She laughed, though she felt far from amused. She refused to let him see how the topic of her very ordinary appearance hurt her. “I have mirrors, R.J. And I’m neither blind nor delusional. In fact, I’d say I’m rather astute.”
“On occasion, usually with business,” he agreed. “But this time you’re dead wrong. Or are you going to stand there and call me a liar?”
She hadn’t expected such a strong attack. She cleared her throat, wondering how to diffuse this little disagreement—bizarre as it seemed—and get him out of her room.
“I wouldn’t call it lying, exactly.” She watched him, trying to calculate his reaction to her honesty. “More like outrageous flattery, something we both know you’re an expert at when it suits you. But I’m not a woman easily fooled and the flattery is unnecessary anyway, since we’ve both agreed not to continue in any sort of…sexual intimacy.”
“I didn’t agree to a damn thing. And after seeing you like this, you can bet your sweet behind I want to get intimate. I want to get real intimate.” He advanced on her, slowly circling the bed while keeping her pinned with his icy gaze. “I want to see the rest of you, Dana, not just your legs, which really are sexy as sin.”
She shook her head, mute.
“I want you naked from head to toe. I want to see the breasts I held and touched and kissed last night. And your nipples. Do you know your whole body shuddered when I sucked on your nipples?”
Dana found herself speechless. She’d never dealt with R.J. in a mood like this and had no idea how to handle him. And she’d never in her wildest dreams imagined hearing anything so outrageous and bold said to her. She’d truly had no idea men spoke in such a way, not even R.J.
She bit her lip, more unsure of herself as a woman than ever before.
R.J.’s eyes narrowed when she remained silent, then focused intently on her mouth. His voice dropped another octave until it was so low she could barely hear him.
“I want to feel those long legs of yours around my waist. And I want to watch your face when I enter you, this time with no surprises. It’ll be easier, you know. I’ll make damn sure there’s no discomfort.”
Her heart beat so hard she felt it throughout her entire body.
R.J.’s smile was both gentle and predatory. “Most of all,” he growled, “I want to watch your beautiful eyes when I give you your first orgasm.”
“R.J.” Dana tried to retreat a step. She bumped up against the bed and nearly tumbled onto it, only gaining her balance at the last second.
R.J. caught her arms in a gentle, unbreakable hold. “I have no idea why in hell you’re so set on calling yourself plain or why you’ve tried to convince the rest of the world the same damn thing, but you’re wrong.” He gave her a slight shake to emphasize his statement. “Now that I’ve seen you, I don’t intend to let you continue hiding from me.”
“I was never hiding.” She pressed against his chest, but he was as unmovable as an oak tree.
“Then what would you call it?”
“Being…being realistic.” She took a breath and tried to explain before things got further out of hand. Had R.J. misunderstood and taken her actions as a challenge? She had to set him straight. “I’ve accepted who I am, how I look. I don’t need you to dress things up for me.”
R.J. seemed to consider that, his expression so piercing she felt herself squirm under his regard. His hands softened and began idly caressing her, then he lifted one hand to her cheek and smoothed her messed hair. “Let’s sit down a minute and talk.”
The only place for them both to sit was on the mattress, and she’d already determined never to find herself there with him again. “No, I…I want to get ready for bed.”
His grin was fleeting. “Bed was uppermost on my mind when I came in here, at least until I understood just how damn confused you are.”
He drew her down next to him on the edge of the mattress and kept hold of her hand, his fingers toying with hers, as if he needed the moment to measure his words. Finally he looked at her, and his smile was boyishly crooked and wickedly sensual. “If I’d seen you like this before,” he said, “you’d never have lasted so long as my assistant.”
“Why not?” Dana wasn’t certain what to think, and with every word R.J. confused her further.
“Because I’d have had to make love with you. And office romances never last.”
Her heart squeezed tight in pain. Was this his way of telling her that once the marriage was over, so was their business association?
“Is that why you hid from me? So we wouldn’t get involved?”
Dana shook her head. R.J.’s eyes flared, and he caught her chin, halting her automatic protest. She met his gaze reluctantly. “I never hid from you.”
“Then it’s yourself you’re hiding from.” Taking her totally off guard, he slid his hand from her chin to her breast, cuddling her softly in his palm.
Dana gasped, frozen in place, and R.J. gave a soft groan. “You see, you’re very much a woman.” He moved his hand to her other breast and treated it to the same torment, allowing hi
s fingers to find and stroke her nipple. Even through her bra and shirt, the feeling was exquisite and she bit her lip hard.
“Shh. Don’t do that. Don’t freeze up on me. I’m not going to rush you, babe, I promise. Last night was a mistake, an aberration for me. Next time will be so much better. You have my word on that. But I’ve been going crazy wanting you again, and now I’m finally starting to understand a few things.”
His fingers continued to tease and stroke, and she could barely think straight. “What things?”
“Number one, that you have no idea of your appeal. What I want to know is why.”
“R.J., I—”
His hand gently squeezed her breast in sensual warning, his body going still. “Don’t say it, Dana.” His words were a muttered command, not harsh, but more compelling for their quiet. “Don’t sit there and tell me how unattractive you are, because I won’t let you lie to me or yourself.”
It was difficult to breathe, difficult to form a coherent argument. Her breasts ached, as did other parts of her body. Without thinking, she leaned into his taunting palm and slowly closed her eyes. “I’ve always been plain, from the time I was a little girl.”
He smoothed her breast without missing a beat. “Says who?”
At first she didn’t hear the suppressed rage in his tone, she was so overwhelmed by sensations. His nearness, the heat from his large body, his heady, masculine scent. But she did hear it, and her reply was duly cautious. “My…my mother was a practical woman. She saw no reason why I should waste my time trying to be something I could never be.”
His curse was low and filled with such fury she shuddered in response. Why was he so angry?
“Where’s your mother now?”
He released her breast, making her sigh in relief—and disappointment. His hands tightened on her, one wrapping securely around her fingers, trapping her hand on his hard thigh, while the other slipped over her shoulders to draw her flush against his side.
Dana didn’t dare look at him, too unsure of what she would see and of what she was feeling. “She passed away several years ago.”
“I didn’t know.”
“There was no reason you should have. My mother moved to northern Oklahoma once I started to work, to a small town there.” She peeked at him, then quickly away. She felt like a fainthearted ninny, but so much had happened that she’d never experienced before, she had no way of knowing how to deal with it. “We hadn’t been close for a long time, but I saw her on holidays and during my vacations. In fact, I used one of my vacations to go home and take care of the arrangements after she died unexpectedly.”
She could feel the tension emanating from him. “How did it happen?”
A vague uneasiness had filtered into his tone that she didn’t understand. “She had a massive stroke. By the time I was notified, she was already gone.”
There was a stretch of painful silence before R.J. asked, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
She looked at him and said simply, “You don’t pay me to involve you in my personal affairs. I asked for the time off, and you gave it to me.”
He left the bed in an angry rush. “I’ve been a bastard.”
“No!” Dana jumped to her feet and caught his arm. She held tight, though he didn’t try to pull away. “That’s not true, R.J. You’re one of the most generous, giving men I’ve ever known.”
“Yeah, right. That’s why after years of employment, after being friends with my family and with me, you never bothered to tell me when your mother passed away.”
He sounded hurt, and she stared at him, bewildered. “I don’t understand why you care.”
He turned to face her. “Where’s your father?”
Dana lifted one shoulder. She didn’t know why he was pushing so hard on this. “I have no idea. I never knew the man.”
R.J. looked her over, and she was acutely aware of her position at the side of the bed, her feet together, her knees together, her hands clasped at her waist. She was on the verge of pulling the spread from the bed and whipping it around her when he asked, “Will you explain that?”
“If you really want to know.”
He crossed his arms over his chest, planted his feet apart and waited. He wouldn’t leave her room until he was good and ready, she decided. “My father left my mother for another woman when I was still a baby. She said it was some awful floozy who was much younger than him.”
“A pretty woman?”
“I suppose. Surely he wouldn’t have run off with a homely woman.”
R.J. worked his jaw in thought. “So you have no memory of your father at all?”
“No. There weren’t even any pictures since my mother destroyed them all. But she told me often that I took after him in my looks.”
His eyes narrowed. “How so?”
“He had the same washed-out hair color, the same thin, lanky build.”
A savage sound escaped him. “I take it she was a bitter woman?”
She didn’t want R.J. to know about her painful relationship with her mother, how hard she had found it to tolerate her mother’s critical nature and jaded outlook. As soon as she’d been old enough, she’d put space between them, but she’d never shared the hurt with anyone and didn’t want to start now.
Keeping all emotion out of her tone, she said, “Oh, yes, Mother was angry. To hear her tell it, my father was a loathsome creature with no scruples at all. I got the feeling the woman he ran off with wasn’t his first indiscretion.” Then she added, “He hurt her very badly, leaving her alone with a baby to raise.”
“With you to raise.”
She nodded. “Yes.”
R.J. seemed to be soaking it all in, and he didn’t look pleased. Dana decided it was time to change the subject.
“I called your family earlier to explain about our wedding.”
His head jerked up and his eyes glittered. “You told them—”
“No! No, I didn’t tell them that. How you explain things to your family is your business. I just told them that because of all the bad publicity that had been circulating and because you knew they all had plenty on their minds, you’d wanted to keep things as simple as possible.”
He grunted, and she wasn’t sure if it was a sound of favor or disapproval.
Dana nervously fiddled with the hem on her shirt. She was in a bedroom with the man she’d loved forever, her hair in wild disarray, and wearing only half her clothes. All things considered, she thought she was handling the situation well. “Do you know what Abbey told me?”
“That she’d have my ass for not inviting her?”
Dana chuckled despite her uneasiness. R.J. teased and bantered with all his sisters, but they knew he loved them just the same. “No. She said you were far too upstanding to shirk your responsibilities. It angers her that you’ve been put through this mess.”
“It hasn’t been easy for anyone involved.”
“No, it hasn’t. But you’re the one the press has been pointing a finger at most.”
R.J. had been pacing, and suddenly he stopped. Hands on his hips, head tilted, he studied her, then suddenly laughed. “I’ll be damned. You did that deliberately, didn’t you?”
She stared at him, surprised by his sudden mood shift. “What?”
“Changed the subject on me. We were talking about you and your personal misconceptions, not about me and this bloody scandal.”
Dana laced her hands together and lifted her chin. “The scandal will die down once I get through pointing out—truthfully—what an outstanding person you are. I’ve got a busy week planned for you, and I trust you won’t complain.”
R.J. shook his head. “No, you don’t. I’m not letting you lead me off the track that easily again. I’m on to you now, lady.”
Dana didn’t want him to be on to her. She didn’t want him delving into her psyche, picking away at her painful past. Her childhood hadn’t been an easy one, and now R.J. wanted to refute what she knew as truth. But it was so much easier to cling
to her old beliefs than to take a chance on believing in him.
R.J. didn’t appear willing to give her a choice in the matter. He looked her over once more and smiled. “Sometimes my own stupidity amazes me.”
“You are not stupid, R.J.”
“I’m not a bad lover, either, but I suppose I’ll have to prove it.”
“No!”
He started toward her again, this time with a purpose. “I think the only way to make you understand just how attractive I find you is to show you. So that’s what I’m going to do.”
As he advanced again, she backed up. Only this time she moved too fast, and when she hit the edge of the bed she lost her balance and dropped back on it, bouncing twice.
R.J. was over her before she could even catch her breath.
CHAPTER TEN
R.J. LOOKED DOWN at her wide-eyed expression and smiled gently. “I’m not going to maul you, Dana. Relax.”
She gave an audible gulp and stiffened even more.
“It’s amazing,” he half teased, “how different a woman can look after a man gets to know her.”
“You’ve known me for years!”
“No, I’ve known the woman you’ve pretended to be, not the real you.” And now he thought he knew why she’d always hidden herself. Dana had bought into her mother’s angry words. Her mother claimed Dana looked a lot like her father—and the father was a total bastard. How had that made Dana feel?
“Is that what you think?” she asked, her voice unnaturally high. “That I’m now somehow different? Just because you’ve caught me with my hair loose and my…” Her words trailed off.
“And your pants off?” His grin was wicked, but then, he felt wicked. Wicked and eager. Patience had never been his virtue, but in this case he’d find a healthy dose of it somewhere. Dana needed to learn her own appeal, and he intended to instruct her on the matter. There’d be no reason for him to dent his pride, not when he had a perfect excuse for getting closer to her. “I’d like to get the rest of your clothes off, too.”
“No!”
“I wish I could remove that damn word from your vocabulary.” He wanted to reassure her, to help her relax. He had no intention of rushing her now that he realized how much care she needed, not only because of her virginity, but because of her fragile ego. “Regardless of my animalistic display of yesterday, I am capable of controlling my baser instincts. I want you. Ever since I stepped in here and saw your bare legs and your hair loose and the warm blush on your face, all I’ve thought about is making love with you. But I don’t want you to be afraid of me—”