by Angel Payne
How the hell did my legs still hold me up? Or were they? Had I tumbled completely into the blackness, adrift like a feather in tar, simply waiting for the pitch to suck me under? And would I care?
Likely not.
Not as the perfect sin of my release finally burst, claiming my body in waves of complete, carnal bliss. Not as my scream consumed the tunnel, high and raw with my ecstasy. Not as I felt Evrest pump harder on his cock, exploding a minute later, his seed smacking the packed earth as he snarled against my center, still hungrily devouring me.
I waited for reality to return. It didn’t. The frightening thing? I didn’t know if I wanted it to. I yearned to stay with him, melted and sated and anonymous, into tomorrow…and the next day…and the next…
What the hell was wrong with me?
I’d always been a girl of the sun. Dawn was my thing, relishing the hours when the day was new, looking forward to the hours I’d have for crossing everything off my to-do list. Shadows were for rats and vampires and hiding.
Except for now.
Except with this man.
Except for his dark…where I’d finally let the girl of the sun become the woman of her truth. Pushing past the rules. Taking hold of her strength. Celebrating her beauty. Believing that maybe she could change the world…because she’d let it change her.
Only what did I do with her now?
I couldn’t stay here forever. But couldn’t return to the girl of the sun, either.
And right now, I could barely stand.
Confused. Lost. Dammit. Where was the GPS? I needed to get somewhere important. Back to me. Now.
A sob. Another.
“Shit,” I stammered. “Shit.”
“Camellia.”
I wanted to fight as he righted his clothes and mine. Even wanted to know how he did it at the same time but my coherent dialogue had scuttled to the same hidey hole as the strength in my legs. When he straightened then lifted me up into his arms, whispering soft Arcadian praise against my forehead, I acquiesced without a peep. Heaven. His chest was a wall of welcome strength against my head, his heartbeat steady in my ear.
I was only tempted to object as he started walking—please; I don’t want to leave; can’t we just hide out a little while longer?—but resigned myself as the path angled upward, back to the light. Back to reality.
Reality?
Perhaps I’d rushed that one a bit.
Maybe more than a bit.
The ocean was audible again, meaning we’d emerged somewhere near the shore again. I listened closer, picking up the tired laughs and sarcastic conversations from the crew, though they were a good distance away. We were somewhere near base camp but not right next to it.
Everything else was not familiar ground.
By loose interpretation, we were in a tent—though even “glamping” seemed a silly word for what I beheld. The square footage alone likely rivalled my condo, including the garage. The swooped canvas ceilings met support poles wrapped in ivory fabric, accented by arrangements of tropical flowers in hand-painted urns. The “room” was divided in half by a rectangular fire pit, flames leaping from black glass stones, smoke curling up a glass-walled chimney that disappeared through an overhead opening. Directly in front of us was a four-poster bed with drapes of dark red velvet, matched by the pillows atop its ivory coverlet. The same crimson shade was repeated in mantles that covered the leather couches on the other side of the room, all stitched with the Arcadian emblem in brilliant gold.
I was tempted to dig up my voice long enough to ask Evrest if he called this the mini palais.
That was before two men stepped out from the kitchen area behind the couches—both wearing condemning glowers.
Aimed right at their brother.
Who still held me in his arms—bearing all the signs of the nasty things he’d done to me.
Chapter Eighteen
‡
“Brothers.” It bore the same command as if we were all in the ballroom back in Sancti instead of a tent across the island. “Bon aksam.”
“Yes.” It was the first time I’d heard a word out of Shiraz. His voice was calm and cultured though less exotic than Evrest’s. “It is a lovely evening.” A knowing smirk. “As you have apparently discovered for yourself, Ev.”
Samsyn whacked the side of Shiraz’s head while surging forward, his glare preceding him. “Family sobriquets do not belong in the presence of strangers.” The last word was a snarl.
Evrest shifted, pulling me tighter to him. “Camellia will not share our privacies.”
“Because she is not family!”
Samsyn pounded a fist into a pole. The whole tent rocked. I gasped. Shit!
Evrest swore in a lot of Arcadian. Shiraz jammed hands into his tailored khakis and rolled his eyes. “For Creator’s sake, Syn. Calm the fuck down.”
He was wasting his breath. Samsyn juiced his advance, venom flashing in his pale green eyes. Damn. How could someone look so much like Evrest but throw off such different energy? His anger threatened to suck me in, the Kansas twister to Dorothy’s house.
“Have you fucked her?”
“Oh, my God.” I kicked out, forcing Evrest to set me down. Not that my legs thanked me for it. “Maybe I’d better just—”
Evrest clamped a hand around my wrist, though his glower never left Samsyn’s face. “How dare you.” A bare notch of volume. A huge seethe of wrath.
Samsyn gave back as good as he got. “I do dare, Evrest. And you know damn well why.” He pressed in, silhouetting his face with Evrest’s against the fire pit flames. Their profiles were nearly mirror images. “Answer my question, brother. Did you break your preservation vow with this American rosputé?”
“Syn.” Shiraz stomped forward. “Sobriquets and manners, my lord hypocrite?”
Again, like he hadn’t spoken. Samsyn didn’t break his concentration from Evrest. “Did. You. Fuck. Her?”
Before I could get out half a cry, Evrest plowed a fist into Samsyn’s jaw.
I had time to get the job done as Samsyn fell to his backside. Furious Arcadian spewed from the big man. No freaking kidding. I sobbed while throwing a frantic stare between him and Evrest, like they paid a shred of attention.
In desperation, I looked to Shiraz—who beamed like a bookie at a title bout.
“Shit!” I gasped.
Shit shit shit.
The two oldest brothers of the House of Cimarron were going to kill each other, and it would be my fault.
Evrest’s chest heaved with his breaths. Unbelievably, he still gripped my wrist. I hadn’t fought the hold but reconsidered the logic as he shifted, clearly waiting for Samsyn to rise before lunging again. “Evrest. No!”
“Ohhh, yes.” Samsyn grinned—grinned—while planting his feet. “Come on, little kroi-en-craquelins. Come on!”
Shiraz gave that a fist pump. “Well done! Half a point to Syn. Damn, I wish Jayd were here. She is much better at point-keeping than—”
“Stop it!” I fired. “Stop. Stop.”
The words clearly caught him aback. Samsyn and Evrest shared the reaction. I took advantage of the surprise to wrench free from him. Didn’t mean I was done with him—or his human battering ram of a brother.
“Camellia—”
“Don’t.” I smacked a hand to the center of his chest. “You are the damn king. Show it. Control your shit, Majesty.”
His mouth fell open.
Samsyn grunted—I think in approval. “Well, Well.”
Shiraz snickered. “Full point for Camellia.”
“Shut. Up.” I yelled it this time. Swung back toward Samsyn, slamming his chest. “And you,”—mounting fury twisted my fist into his T-shirt—“are next in line to the throne. But more than that, you’re his damn brother. You want to try a little tact and respect?”
If my hand weren’t curled into the middle of his chest, I’m sure he’d have beat on it. “You have admirable spine, woman. Just be certain you bring your head along with it—
to tell you where to tread.”
I kicked up one side of my mouth. “Said the pot to the kettle.”
He gained an inch of height while stiffening beneath me. “The progress of our country depends on the honor behind its crown. Can you understand that, Miss Saxon? Evrest has made a vow—”
“And has kept it!” I released him by shoving him. “Take your brother’s advice. Calm the hell down. The precious royal cherry is still in one piece.”
He gave me a scathing once-over and sneered, “Forgive me for assuming otherwise.”
I shook my hands out, fighting the itch in their palms. You aren’t too big to slap, Bam-Bam.
“No,” I finally muttered. “So not worth it.” Wasn’t a lie. It had been a long damn day. Running mitigation on the Arcadian royals, especially over the subject of me, wasn’t an ordeal I cared to add on the list. “I’m going to bed. You boys have a real nice night.”
Without another look back, I pivoted and walked out what I hoped was the front door. One couldn’t be too sure in a mansion masquerading as a tent.
Behind me, footsteps scuffled. After that, heated mutterings and growls, almost yanking me back to yell at the boys again. And yeah, right now I meant boys, all three of them.
But weirdly, I didn’t want to dilute my fury. It helped keep other thoughts at a distance—all the shit that should have stayed in the darkness of my psyche, instead exposed by the darkness I dove into with Evrest.
Because of Evrest.
Of what he did to me.
No. Of what he exposed in me.
The lightning bolt that had stayed hidden in my clouds. The anomaly in me—the glitch—that had been the reason for clinging so hard to the rules. The rules kept everything held in, defined. Even Harry had been an adherence to those boundaries. He liked the rules just as much as I did. The world was a film frame to him. A safe box.
Evrest wasn’t a box.
He was beyond any boundary I’d known. My battling ions turned into lightning. My glitch turned into a power surge.
My wrong become right.
Comprehension slammed like a tidal wave. I stopped in my tracks after passing the Arcadian guards outside the tent, drenched in the glory—and despair—of it.
What the hell did I do now?
How the hell did I ignore this? Ignore him?
The answer was a ruthless blare in my mind.
You can’t.
You won’t.
We were right but still so wrong. Power trapped behind the trip switch. Thunder and lightning—in separate storms.
Never meant to be.
Which meant life was about to get real painful.
Not even anger could help me now. I stumbled across the sand before finding a little crevice in the cliffs. Tucked myself into it then sank to my ass. Buried my head in my hands.
Let the pain squeeze in on my heart.
And the sobs crash over my composure.
By the time I finished bawling and made my way back to main camp, mostly everyone was asleep. I fell into my bunk, too exhausted to change, welcoming the lead weights that fell over my eyelids, too.
*
The moment of truth arrived way too fast.
After sleeping for what felt like a minute, I’d been roused by Dottie, who told me breakfast service wouldn’t wait. Like there was room for anything in my stomach except acid and nerves. Terror. When a juice cleanse just doesn’t do the job.
I finally did made it out to the beach—where I stood awaiting my doom.
“Stop it.” Gritting my teeth on the words didn’t help. Maybe I should have gone to breakfast, if only for the chance to beg a cocktail from craft services. Maybe Novah had some she could bring…
Breathe, dammit. Enjoy the day. YOLO, baby. Eat the red velvet cupcake.
Okay, right. The good stuff. Time to make a list.
If possible, the weather was more spectacular than the day before. The air was clean, bright, and crisp. The sunshine was warm amber touched with gold, more angels reporting for duty. For the millionth time, I still wondered if I’d be pulling a Dorothy Gale, waking up to learn this whole week had been an elaborate dream—
Until Harry, Beth, and about a dozen of the rest of the team appeared, mounted up and ready for the journey over the ridge. In their midst were a pair of horses with empty saddles. Novah walked between the two animals, a lead line for each in her leather-gloved hands. She wore a similar ensemble to her outfit from yesterday, only her jeans were tucked into tall riding boots now. Her smile grew as they approached.
Yeah, I wondered if the executioners at the Tower of London smiled, too.
“So…everyone’s come to watch the ax fall?” I cracked as they all stopped. The Tower of London thing was clever. Might as well get mileage out of it.
“Bitch, please,” Leif teased. He sat atop a gray dappled mount, saddlebags bulging with his supplies. “If I can do this, so can you.”
“We’re here as the cheer squad.” Harry smiled, and I knew he was sincere. More than anyone, he knew what I was overcoming today. He’d taken me to the ER after the accident, clenching my hand through every poke, prod, test, and x-ray. He’d been scared…maybe terrified.
In my strange brain, that memory actually boosted my courage. If I could conquer my anxiety and ride the damn horse up the stupid hill, we’d be full circle. Could put that awful memory behind us. And maybe banish the lingering tension from between us, too.
Beth, mounted next to him, waved with enthusiasm. “You can do it, Cam!”
Sheez. I officially tossed out the remaining molecule of my plan to find anything worth hating about the woman. Not worth the stress.
Especially when there were bigger things to freak about.
Like the horses Novah pulled even closer.
Dammit. Dammit.
I stared at them then her. Which one was mine? Like it mattered. They were both white with cream-colored manes. Beautiful.
And huge.
“Do I get to beg the king for my life first?” The line didn’t make Evrest appear…as I’d hoped. Instead, Novah laughed out loud while stepping closer.
“Funny girl!” she quipped, approaching Glinda the Good Witch for prickly sweetness. I stared at her—what gives, woman?—before letting her crush me into a “friendly hug”. Into my ear, she quickly rasped, “Evrest is already on the cliff, watching through binoculars.” Shifting to the other as if giving me double sugar, she added, “We had a long talk this morning. I told him of Enock. He is releasing me to return home tomorrow, for good. He confessed your priority to him, too. He wished to be here to support you but…conditions…have prevented that.”
She stepped back but I riveted my stare to her. Priority? What did that mean in Evrest lingo? And ‘conditions’? What conditions? What the hell was that all about?
I had to accept that the answers weren’t coming soon—just as I had to relent that fate wouldn’t be opening a trap door in the sand for Chianna to disappear through. Didn’t stop me from continuing to wish for it as she and her mount, a sleek chestnut mare, came forward to join Novah and me.
“Bon sabah, Miss Saxon!”
“Good morning.” I barely contained my envy of her too-graceful-to-be-real dismount. Novah’s words from yesterday echoed to mind. In Colluss, everyone learns to ride nearly before taking their first steps. Chianna had simply learned to do it with the flash of a Cirque performer gliding off a trampoline.
“Mmmm. Smell that air. I so love riding on mornings like this. You?”
The woman’s knowing wink told the whole story. Somehow, she’d learned about my Achilles heel. Or at the least, my Achilles butt—which hesitated more about this “adventure” by the minute.
“Yes. It’s a beautiful morning.” Sticky note smile. “You know, I just heard that Evrest is enjoying it already. He’s ridden ahead, up to the ridge…”
“Oh?”
I already sent a telepathic apology to Evrest for giving him up, but didn’t know if I coul
d do this with Chianna watching my every move. She’d only come over sniffing for him, anyway. Now that she’d secured a target lock, she wasted no time swinging back up into her saddle and eagerly peering to the area we were bound for—
The cliff that looked too damn daunting, even from here.
“Hmmm,” Chianna crooned. “Perhaps he would like some company…”
“Perhaps he would.” Sorry, wolf man!
I pushed the contrition aside, knowing he’d want me to. Besides, he could hold his own with Chia Pet. I wasn’t so sure about my chances with—
Damn. I didn’t even know my horse’s name. Maybe that was a good place to start.
I forced in a deep breath. Turned and approached Novah. She waiting with another warm smile. “Come and meet your new friend.” She lifted my hand, guiding it the horse’s—what was it called?—the nose part?—the muzzle. That was it. As I petted the big guy—at least I thought it was a guy—he bobbed his head sharply. I flinched.
“Oh, this is going well.”
“It is all right.” Novah giggled. “Fiyero is just saying merjour. Go ahead; pet him again.”
I reached for his neck this time. No more bobbing. A gruff snort this time. As friendly as it sounded, I still went slow. There was no mistaking the power beneath my fingers, or the knowledge that this creature could easily destroy me, outweighing me at least ten times over.
“Fiyero, huh? Well, hi there. I’m Camellia—with a cah.” Another snort. “I know, not funny. I tried, right?” I accepted the carrot offered by Novah, letting him munch on it as I petted some more. “What do you say, buddy? You want to do this? I’ll be good to you if you’re good to me, all right?”
I really hoped his soft whicker meant yes.
Chapter Nineteen
‡
“Look. You made it to the top!”
Novah’s praise pulled nothing out of me but a weak smile. Why had I conveniently forgotten that getting on a horse meant suddenly being higher off the ground? Great recognition to have while climbing two hundred feet, up a path only a little wider than a hiking trail, atop a “vehicle” with a mind and will of its own.