Jordan’s breathing was shallow, a taut control to the sensuousness of his lips. ‘I think you know what,’ he told her softly, his eyes intent on her face.
Her head went back, her gaze meeting his unflinchingly. ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’
‘No?’ Jordan taunted. ‘Oh, I think you have.’
‘I haven’t!’ She tried to remove his fingers from her arm, but all that did was entice him to increase the pressure. ‘You’re hurting me!’ she choked, hating having to show him any sign of weakness.
‘Yes,’ he acknowledged huskily. ‘I can’t seem to do anything else. But I’d like to! Do you remember how it was with us, Kelly? Do you remember—’
‘I remember nothing!’ she cut in, instantly stopping the caressing movement of his thumb on her arm. ‘I haven’t thought about you in years, so why should I be able to remember what it was like being married to you?’ The defiance in her voice was echoed in her flashing eyes.
Jordan’s mouth was a thin angry line, the pulse in his throat beating even faster. ‘Then maybe I should refresh your memory for you,’ he said tautly.
‘No!’ Kelly’s head jerked sideways as he began to lower his mouth towards hers.
‘Yes, Kelly!’ His hands came up to hold her head immobile and his lips claimed hers. He moved his mouth slowly against her, the tension in his body building by the second. ‘Oh yes, Kelly,’ he groaned agonisingly, pulling her against the hard length of his body before his mouth again claimed hers. ‘Think of me now, Kelly, think of me now and want me,’ he encouraged huskily.
She couldn’t believe this was happening to her, couldn’t believe this dizzy sensation, the way she swayed towards Jordan of her own volition, entwining her arms about his neck, her mouth raised invitingly.
‘You do want me!’ he cried in disbelief.
‘No. I—’
‘Yes, you do!’ he shouted his triumph, swinging her up in his arms, the bathtowel slipping precariously.
As he laid her on the bed Kelly didn’t resist the complete removal of the towel, lying before him like a golden Aphrodite, her breasts pert and inviting, her stomach smooth and flat, her thighs silky soft. Jordan’s eyes darkened to black as he hurriedly removed his own clothes, his gaze never leaving her, his desire a tangible thing.
‘My God, you’re beautiful,’ he groaned as he joined her on the bed, kissing her, starting with her throat and slowly going downwards.
Jordan was beautiful too; she had forgotten just how beautiful. His shoulders were wide and powerful, his chest liberally sprinkled with silky hair, his stomach taut and firm, his thighs strong and sure. Kelly’s hands smoothed over his muscular shoulders, loving the feel of his firm flesh beneath her fingertips.
She gasped as his lips claimed the tautness of one nipple, his tongue moving caressingly over the fiery tip. The darkness of his head against her creamy skin was a familiar scene, enticingly so.
Desire ran through her veins like liquid fire, her legs entwining with the muscular roughness of his, a heady excitement making her feel dizzy. For too long she had been denied Jordan’s possession, the mindless pleasure he always gave her when they made love, and she moved against him restlessly, impatient for his full lovemaking.
‘Kelly?’ he raised his head questioningly. ‘You know I have to take you, don’t you?’
‘Yes,’ she nodded, her voice breathless. Yes, she knew Jordan was out of control, had known it since he had first kissed her.
‘Don’t try to stop me,’ his lips plundered the hollows of her throat. ‘For God’s sake don’t stop me, Kelly!’ he groaned hungrily.
She didn’t, offering no resistance as his thighs came between hers, raising her hips to meet the hard demand of his body. She cried out as he took her, the initial possession as painful to her as it had been on their wedding night; her body had grown unaccustomed to the fierceness of Jordan’s.
‘Oh God!’ he shuddered at her pain. ‘I’m sorry, darling, so sorry. But I can’t stop now—I can’t!’
She didn’t want him to; the pain faded and wild desire flooded back. Her movements matched his own the climax to their heated senses reached as one, shuddering back to earth in each other’s arms.
Jordan’s expression was agonised as he looked down at her. ‘What have I done?’ He rolled away from her, his eyes closed as if to shut out the sight of her. ‘My God, what have I done?’ he groaned again.
A sudden chill washed over Kelly as she asked herself the same question. What had she done? Jordan couldn’t be blamed for what had just happened, men were only made to be pushed so far. It had been up to her to say no, she had no doubt that Jordan would have accepted her refusal. But now it was too late, too late for him to feel anything else but contempt for the easy way she had fallen victim to her own desire. How he must despise her now that his body had received its full satisfaction, now that he was able to think rationally once again.
She watched him as he stood up to pull on his towelling robe, lighting up a cheroot with shaking fingers. He put up a hand to his temple, massaging there, as if his head ached. ‘I didn’t mean that to happen,’ he said raggedly. ‘What I’m trying to say is—’
‘That it was a mistake,’ Kelly finished dully, the top sheet pulled over her to hide her nakedness.
Jordan gave her a sharp look. ‘Not exactly,’ he sighed.
‘But it was,’ she insisted calmly. ‘A mistake that would be better forgotten by both of us.’
He drew hard on the cheroot held between long tapered fingers. ‘You think I can forget that?’ he asked harshly, a white ring of tension about his mouth. ‘Just act as if it never happened?’
Kelly shrugged with a casualness she was far from feeling. ‘You could try,’ she dismissed. ‘Just chalk it down as yet another woman in your bed.’
His eyes were icy grey. ‘But you’re my wife!’
A bitter smile curved her lips. ‘What a novel experience for you.’
‘Kelly—’
‘Would you mind if I went to sleep now?’ she interrupted him, the strain of acting normally beginning to tell on her. ‘I’m feeling rather tired.’
Jordan stubbed out his half-smoked cheroot with savage movements, moving to grasp her shoulders, shaking her angrily. ‘You can’t go to sleep after what just happened,’ he told her fiercely.
‘What else would you suggest I do?’
His eyes darkened in colour. ‘You really want to know?’ he asked throatily.
It was happening again, to both of them. A slight flush appeared beneath Jordan’s pale skin, his hands tightening compulsively on her arms, his breathing once again becoming shallow. And Kelly could feel her bones melting, could feel herself moving towards Jordan even though she tried not to.
‘This time,’ Jordan told her slowly his gaze fixed on her moist, parted lips. ‘This time,’ he repeated, once more on the bed beside her, ‘there will be no mistake about it, for either of us,’ he added harshly.
Their movements were slow and leisurely, each knowing exactly how to please the other, in no hurry to bring their caresses to their tumultuous climax. The first time they had been hungry for satisfaction, this time each caress took a lifetime, each kiss more druggingly intimate than the last.
Then once again their emotions were spiralling out of control, their pleasure exploding into a thousand coloured lights. Jordan collapsed against her breasts, his arms holding her tightly to him, his even breathing soon telling her that he had fallen asleep.
Kelly had no idea where all this would end; she didn’t want to look beyond this moment. She would live life as it came, take each day, and night, as they came.
She was awake early the next morning, Jordan still fast asleep against her breasts. His arms tightened about her as she tried to slip out of bed, and she lay still, waiting until he had settled into sleep once again before moving away from him. This time he made no effort to stop her. Kelly moved quietly about the room collecting her clothes for the day before
going into the bathroom.
She deliberately didn’t think of last night’s events, shutting her mind off from all soul-searching, sticking to her decision not to delve into the whys and wherefores of last night. She was married to Jordan. Okay, so they no longer lived together, but they were still man and wife, and there was nothing wrong with what had happened between them during the night.
‘Breakfast, Mrs Lord?’ Mrs McLeod came into the lounge where Kelly was searching for her handbag.
She turned to smile at the housekeeper. ‘Not for me, thank you. But I think my husband might appreciate a cup of coffee in bed before he goes to work.’
‘Very well, Mrs Lord,’ the other woman beamed.
‘I’m going out myself, Mrs McLeod.’ Kelly at last found her handbag, taking out her purse and car keys. ‘My father should be asleep for some time.’
‘Can I expect you back for lunch?’ the housekeeper enquired politely.
‘Oh yes,’ Kelly didn’t hesitate to confirm this, ‘I’m only going for a short drive.’
‘It’s so nice to have you all back here,’ Mrs McLeod told her shyly.
‘It’s nice to be here,’ Kelly smiled. ‘I should be back before my father comes down.’
She didn’t even know where she was going, she just wanted to get herself together before she had to face Jordan again. It was cowardly of her, and no doubt he would have something to say about it when next they met, but for the moment she wanted to cherish the thought of last night to herself.
In Jordan’s arms she had come alive again, left behind her the cool facade she had adopted the last five years. And before she saw Jordan she was going to have to regain some of that coolness. He had made love to her, been as out of control as she was, and yet except for their mutual groans of pleasure neither of them had spoken a work.
There had been no words spoken between them, and no love shown. But Kelly did love him, that much she now knew. Whatever had happened to her five years ago had only numbed her feelings, being with Jordan had shown her that her love for him was still very much alive.
The trouble was how was she going to hide it from him. She couldn’t be put through the humiliating experience of Jordan knowing, wouldn’t let him destroy her with her own love a second time.
* * *
The drive out had cleared her head, put her thoughts in some order. She would take what affection Jordan cared to give, would accept his kisses, but she wouldn’t let him know the true state of her feelings. She wouldn’t fall into that trap again.
Her father was in the lounge when she arrived back at the house. He looked up as she entered the room. ‘You’ve missed Jordan by minutes.’ He stood up to kiss her on the cheek.
She hadn’t missed him at all, she had passed him on the road, and although he had signalled for her to stop she had merely acknowledged him with a wave of her hand. Her cloying, loving attitude had bored him so much before that he had turned to another woman only weeks after their wedding; this time he would find her coolly sophisticated. Maybe that way she would be able to get him back on a permanent basis, be able to hold his interest for longer than a few weeks.
She smiled at her father. ‘I’ll see him later. What shall we do today?’
He shrugged. ‘What do you suggest?’
‘How about a drive to the coast? We could laze on the beach, go for a swim. You could even buy me some candyfloss,’ she added with a grin.
‘That’s a deal. But breakfast first, hmm?’
‘Lovely,’ Kelly eagerly agreed. ‘I’m starving!’
In the end they both ate a hearty breakfast, laughing together as they collected their things for the beach.
It was almost lunchtime by the time they reached Brighton, one of the nearest coastal resorts to London.
‘How do you fancy going to the nudist beach?’ Kelly teased her father once they had changed into their costumes.
He frowned. ‘Nudist beach?’
Kelly bit her lip. Her first day alone with her father and already she had forgotten his loss of memory. The nudist beach had only been open a year or so, and so her father couldn’t possibly know of its existence.
She gave a light, casual laugh, putting her arm through the crook of his. ‘Didn’t you hear about it? It’s still in the experimental stage, just to see if anyone wants to use it.’
‘Well, I don’t,’ he instantly refused. ‘Although I wouldn’t mind strolling along there to take a look.’ There was a wicked glint in his eyes.
Kelly laughed. ‘You and a couple of hundred others!’
‘I suppose so,’ he agreed ruefully. ‘Okay, I’ll race you into the sea.’
Kelly grimaced. ‘Over these stones that pass as the beach you won’t race me anywhere. Where’s the sand?’
‘Under the stones?’ he suggested hopefully, grinning widely.
The sea was icy cold, and they spent only a short time in its chilling depths, coming out on to the pebbly beach to towel themselves dry.
‘How about lunch?’ Kelly asked with a shiver.
‘Fine. Where do you want to eat?’
‘Right here,’ she grinned. ‘You lay out the towels, I’ll go and get the fish and chips.’
‘I’m sure your menu was a bit more refined in Barbados,’ her father laughed.
Kelly flushed, at least remembering she was just supposed to have come back from there. ‘It may have been more refined,’ she teased. ‘But it was certainly no more enjoyable. Give me ten minutes and then send out the search-party.’ She pulled her denims on over the bottom of her bikini. ‘I’ll be over at the nudist beach if you can’t find me.’
‘If you go I go!’ he warned.
She was back within minutes, watching with enjoyment the unusual sight of her father eating fish and chips out of a newspaper. An exclusive restaurant was more his venue, although he seemed to enjoy the food she had bought him.
‘No dessert?’ he teased her as they disposed of the vinegar-soaked newspaper.
‘No. But I bought us these instead.’ She produced two cans of Coca-Cola from her handbag.
‘You really know how to provide a stylish lunch!’ he drank thirstily.
‘Go on, you know you loved it,’ Kelly laughed, lying back on her towel, and quickly fell asleep in the sunshine.
‘You’ve been sleeping like a baby,’ her father told her when she woke up. ‘Jordan keeping you awake nights, is he?’ He chuckled as she blushed fiery red.
He was so near the truth that she couldn’t help her blushes. She had been so tired just now that she had fallen into an exhausted sleep.
‘Just for that,’ she stood up, ‘you can buy me that candyfloss after all!’
They both had one in the end, Kelly laughing uproariously as her father got it all over him.
‘It’s all right for you to laugh!’ he untangled himself from the sticky confection. ‘As I’m a lot older than you it’s a damned sight longer since I had any of this stuff, and I know everyone says this, but it isn’t as good as it was when I was young. And talking of ages—’
‘Yes?’ Her voice was sharp, sure that he had realised she no longer looked like a naïve eighteen-year-old. In fact, she was surprised he hadn’t mentioned it before.
‘I keep getting funny looks from people.’ He disgustedly disposed of the candyfloss in the nearest litter-bin. ‘I’m sure they think I’m your aged boy-friend.’
Kelly had noticed a couple of curious looks in their direction, but she hadn’t realised their reason. She grinned at her father. ‘Let’s really give them something to look at!’ She stood on tiptoe and kissed him, putting her hand through the crook of his arm. ‘How does it feel to be thought a dirty old man?’
‘Quite good, actually,’ he laughed. ‘Quite a boost for my ego.’ He suddenly became serious. ‘Marriage seems to agree with you.’
Her smile became forced. ‘Did you think it wouldn’t?’ she asked lightly.
‘I wasn’t sure,’ he shrugged. ‘Knowing how Jordan feels abo
ut you—’
‘He told you about that?’ she interrupted sharply.
‘He and I had a chat when he asked you to marry him. Why do you think I tried to make you wait a while? I knew that it wouldn’t be easy living with a man who feels about you the way Jordan does.’
It seemed that at least Jordan had admitted to her father that his sole interest in her was physical. ‘If you knew how he felt why did you let me marry him?’ she wanted to know. ‘Surely you must have realised how difficult I find it to accept these feelings.’
‘I thought you could cope with it. Besides, you wanted to marry him.’
‘Yes,’ she agreed dully. ‘Yes, I did.’
‘Aren’t you happy, Kelly?’ he asked anxiously.
No stress or strain, she must remember that. ‘You must know I am,’ she gave a glowing smile. ‘We both are.’
‘It’s difficult to tell. On the surface Jordan is such an unemotional man.’
It wasn’t only on the surface. Except for the natural sexual urges Jordan funtioned as a machine. ‘We’re happy. Now stop worrying needlessly.’ She looked at her wrist-watch. ‘I think we should be getting back now, we don’t want to be late for dinner.’
Her father quirked one eyebrow. ‘No quick look at the nudist beach?’
‘In your state of health?’ she grinned. ‘Certainly not!’
‘Spoilsport!’ he moaned.
It was almost seven by the time they got back, and Kelly half expected Jordan to be pacing the hallway as he had been yesterday. She felt a sense of disappointment when he wasn’t. He wasn’t in the lounge either, or the bedroom when she looked there.
‘Mrs McLeod,’ she went down to the kitchen, ‘is my husband home yet?’
‘No, Mrs Lord.’ The housekeeper was in the middle of helping cook prepare dinner. ‘He rang earlier to say he’d been delayed.’
Kelly felt a familiar sinking sensation in her stomach. ‘Oh!’
‘He said that a business meeting had come up unexpectedly.’
‘I see.’ Kelly bit her lip. It was such a familiar story, painfully so. ‘Did he give any indication of when he would be home? If it isn’t too late perhaps we could delay dinner for him.’
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