Finally he seemed to be doing something right in the old woman’s eyes. Holly sat back to front on a tall wooden-backed chair, her arms resting along the top rail, her legs spread on either side. He sensed her body tighten and spasm, could feel the moment she separated her mind from her surroundings and focused one hundred percent on the process that wracked her body.
This wasn’t as simple as negotiating a contract. Nothing quantified how helpless he felt. He was responsible for what she was going through right now.
As she sighed a moan of relief, Connor acknowledged he should have cared a lot more. Should have listened to his inner voice when it urged him to let himself love her.
He’d been coming through Auckland Customs when his cell phone had buzzed with the frantic call from Thompson, who’d discovered Holly’s flight from the obstetrician’s rooms yesterday. He hadn’t had time to be angry. All he’d felt was fear. Fear that something would happen to Holly.
On the periphery of his thoughts he heard another man’s voice. The doctor, at last. Connor stepped aside to let him introduce himself to Holly.
“How’re the pains?” the doctor asked.
“Awful,” Holly replied with a weak grin, before closing her eyes and breathing through the next wave.
“I think it’s time we got you up onto the bed so I can examine you.”
“Oh!” Holly gasped, “I feel like I need to push.”
“Hold back as much as you can. We need to check you first.”
Connor and Queenie swiftly helped Holly onto the bed while the doctor slipped away to wash his hands and glove up. Once back he quickly examined her before giving her a smile and a nod. “You’re all set to go.”
“Connor!” Holly shrieked his name. He was at her side in a second, and she gripped his hand so tight his fingers lost all feeling. But the discomfort was minor as he became lost in another more miraculous event. The birth of his baby.
He couldn’t tell later if it had been minutes or hours, but the incredible rush of seeing his son slide from Holly’s body beat all description. The doctor lifted the squalling infant onto Holly’s stomach, and Connor reached out to touch his son.
His son! The gift of life he’d never thought would be his.
Tears coursed down Holly’s cheeks as she looked at the child, but she didn’t reach to hold him, instead she turned her cheek against the stack of pillows bunched behind her and closed her eyes.
“Look at him, Holly. He’s perfect. We have a son.” His voice broke with emotion.
“No. Take him.” Her voice shook.
“Wh-what?” Had he heard her correctly?
“Take him. He’s yours. You have what you wanted. Take him now.” The harsh whisper that dragged from her throat slashed him to his core. “Take him before I can’t bear to let him go.”
The doctor and Holly’s grandmother exchanged worried glances as they attended to the final stages of the birth.
“Now, now, girl. That’s no way to talk,” her grandmother admonished gently. “Look at him. He’s beautiful.”
“I don’t want him. Please, take him away.” Her voice rose in pitch, and the doctor reached forward to swaddle the baby in a receiving blanket and gave Connor a troubled look.
Connor nodded in reply. “Take him out of the room. We need to talk.”
Tremors shook Holly’s body as the doctor handed the baby to Nana, who cradled him close, then swiftly covered his patient with a sheet and woollen blankets. “Keep her warm, she’s in shock. We’ll be just outside the door.”
As they closed the door behind them, Connor lowered himself carefully on the bed. Still Holly kept her face pressed against the pillows, away from him.
“Why don’t you just take him and go?” Her voice, muffled against the pillow, wrenched a gaping hole in his chest.
“I can’t go. Not without you.”
“You don’t need me. You have him now. It’s what you wanted isn’t it?”
“Did you think I’d just toss you a cheque, pick up the baby and go? What kind of man do you think I am? It’s not about the baby anymore, Holly. I want you, and I’m not leaving here without you.”
She turned back to face him, her mouth a twisted line. “No-o-o! You can’t do that to me. You can’t demand any more from me. I’ve done everything you asked. Now go, and leave me alone.”
“Holly, you can’t abandon him like this. Don’t do this to yourself. Don’t do this to our baby.” Maybe shock tactics would work, he thought, grasping at anything he could to shake her from her resolve. “I read the report on your mother; it was faxed it to me in the States. Haven’t you wondered if she died that way because she couldn’t bear to be without you? Didn’t you learn anything from her death? Don’t you see? You’re doing exactly what she did, except she was too young and too alone to know how it could be any different. Give yourself a chance. Give our son a chance.”
“How dare you. She had no choice. I made mine,” she whispered, her face paling. “I pity the poor woman you fall in love with, Connor Knight, I hope she never knows how low or how mean you’re prepared to go.” He barely made out her words through the thickness of her tears.
“Then pity yourself,” he answered, finding her hand beneath the covers and holding it firmly in his.
“Don’t! Don’t lie to me.”
“I mean it, Holly. I love you.” He reached forward and brushed her damp hair from her face, his fingers tingling at the softness of her skin. “I’ve been a complete fool. I didn’t tell you about the investigation because I didn’t want you to have an excuse to leave. I wanted you to need me. I wanted to be the only one there for you, even though I fought it and fought it and treated you abominably every step of the way. I couldn’t even admit it to myself until last week. I knew I needed to talk to you before the baby arrived but I couldn’t do it over the phone. How could I tell you from thousands of miles away that I love you? You have every right to never want to forgive me.”
She remained silent; her eyes boring into his as if she could see right through him, as if nothing he said mattered. Connor held her gaze and felt his heart skip a beat. He’d missed her with a physical and emotional ache that he hadn’t wanted to identify when he’d first arrived in the States. He’d thrown himself into business and meetings, but in the back of his mind, and during every quiet moment, he’d wondered and worried about Holly. What kind of day she’d had. How she was feeling. Did she miss him as much as he missed her?
Bit by bit, he’d recognised that his motivation to close the deal and get home was no longer the imminent birth of his baby.
He wanted Holly. He wanted her like he had never wanted any woman.
It shamed him to realise it had taken the distance of several thousand miles to allow himself to admit he loved her. Right now, nothing he’d achieved in his career, in his entire life, meant a thing if he couldn’t convince Holly of that too.
“Do you know why I wanted this baby, our baby, so much?” he asked, leaning forward to gently rest his forehead against hers. When she didn’t respond he continued, regardless. “On your birthday last year I discovered Carla had terminated a pregnancy in the early stages of our marriage. It doesn’t excuse what I did, but when you became pregnant all I could see was that I had another chance. A chance to do it right this time. Maybe, in the back of my mind, I even wanted you to fall pregnant.
“I put you through months of hell for my own selfish reasons, to replace the baby she killed. I couldn’t let another child of mine die like that. When you talked about ‘options’ at Carmen’s office that day, I was incensed. What if you’d insisted on a termination? My fears made me pretend you were just like her, when deep down I should have known better. Known you could never be anything like her.”
“She had an abortion?” Holly asked, her voice hushed and filled with disbelief.
“Without ever telling me—then she was sterilised to make certain it would never happen again.” Connor drew back and looked deep into her eyes, reli
eved to see the anguish had begun to fade, that the tears had finally dried. “Holly, you were right. I did treat you like nothing more than an incubator. By dehumanising you I didn’t need to face my own feelings or inadequacies. I couldn’t help my first baby, couldn’t stop its murder. I was prepared to do anything to make sure that never happened again. Can you ever forgive me? Can you ever love me?”
“Love you? I’ve loved you forever, Connor Knight. It was killing me slowly inside working with you, then living with you, and knowing you were unattainable. I felt so alone, so unwanted. That night we made love? I wanted you so much. Making love with you gave me a chance to pretend that you wanted me, too.”
“Holly, you didn’t need to pretend. I needed you that night more than I’d ever needed another human being in my entire life. You were so real. So giving. So beautiful.”
“And so wrong for you. When I saw you with your family the next day, I knew I could never be good enough for you. I had no background, no family. And at the office party, you obviously loved children. It was there in every movement, every gesture you made with the children. I couldn’t give you that. My fear made that impossible.”
“Nothing is impossible. Not for us. Not anymore. I love you, Holly Christmas. Will you marry me?”
“Marry you?” Her breath squeezed tight in her lungs. Her hands shook. “You don’t need to marry me. What will your father say? What about your brothers?”
“They’ll tell me again what a fool I was not to have married you before our child came into this world. In fact, they’re barely speaking to me, they’ve been so disgusted with my actions. So, do you have an answer for me, my beautiful Holly?”
“Nothing would make me happier.” She reached for him, a burst of pure joy blooming deep in her chest, chasing away the last pockets of darkness, of fear, of loneliness.
“So what do you say you reintroduce yourself to our little man.” Connor tipped his head towards the door through which the newborn’s demanding cries could be heard. “Something tells me he wants to meet his mama.”
“Please! Bring him back.”
Connor rose from the bed and swung open the door, putting his arms out to take the baby, his heart filled to bursting at the feel of this tiny adorable infant in his arms. Gently he gave him to Holly and watched, a lump forming in his throat as the baby settled in her arms and she pushed away the blanket and checked his long slender fingers tipped with perfect nails and his tiny pink toes, before gathering him to her and pressing her lips against his little face.
“He is perfect, isn’t he?” Her voice was full of wonder.
“Yes, yes he is. And so are you. Thank you for the gift of my son.”
“Poor little guy, he needs a name,” she said softly, a gentle smile of wonder curving her lips as she gazed upon his tiny face.
“Why don’t we call him André, for his aunty.”
“André.” Holly tested the sound of the name on her tongue. “Thank you. Andrea would have loved that.”
Epilogue
“Have I told you how beautiful you look today, Mrs. Knight?”
“Only about three dozen times.” Holly smiled as she leaned into her husband, relishing the hard strength of his body against hers and feeling the embers of desire stir deep within.
Their wedding guests had departed on Tony Knight’s luxury yacht and into the crisp clear winter night, and with them, André. It would be their first time without him. She’d objected, but his doting grandfather had insisted that he and Queenie, who was staying at his house for the weekend, could manage just fine.
She still couldn’t believe the chubby little boy was theirs, or that he’d been an active and demanding part of their lives for nine months now. Soon he’d be walking, no doubt making Thompson’s life far more complicated than he’d ever bargained for.
But tonight wasn’t about André. Tonight was about Connor and her.
She reached up and pulled her husband’s face closer to hers, inhaling his scent, making it a part of her as much as she was now a part of him.
“Have I told you today how much I love you, Mr. Knight?”
Connors lips parted in a smile. “Only about three dozen times.”
He closed the gap between them, taking her lips with a fierce possession Holly savoured with soul-deep satisfaction and the embers flamed into urgent need.
As they drew apart and slowly walked back to the house, Holly looked up at him, her eyes aglow with the joy of the truth that filled her heart every day.
Finally she had her very own family.
Finally her life was complete.
Don’t miss THE CEO’S CONTRACT BRIDE,
Declan Knight’s romance,
available in January 2007 from
Yvonne Lindsay and Silhouette Desire!
ISBN: 978-1-55254-654-3
THE BOSS’S CHRISTMAS SEDUCTION
Copyright © 2006 by Yvonne Lindsay
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the editorial office, Silhouette Books, 233 Broadway, New York, NY 10279 U.S.A.
All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.
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