All That I Need (Secret Desires)

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All That I Need (Secret Desires) Page 9

by Ava Catori


  When our food came, we laughed and talked, trying to put Maggie out of the picture, but her presence was hard to ignore.

  Finishing his Penne Vodka, “This was amazing, but I think I ate too much,” he grinned, wiping up the last of his sauce with a piece of garlic bread.

  “Remember that time when we were dating, and I wanted to get romantic. I made lasagna, and neither of us wanted sex because we were stuffed?” I laughed thinking back.

  “We’ll go for a walk,” he winked. “We can get rid of the sluggish feel, and then…”

  “And then,” I arched an eyebrow, “get lucky?”

  “God, I hope,” he admitted.

  We both laughed.

  “Austin, I know we weren’t going to talk about it, but can we please just discuss it a little bit. I promise I won’t let it ruin our night.”

  He nodded, “We can try.”

  “Listen, I’ll be okay if it’s just temporary, but I can’t take in somebody else. She can’t move in with us.”

  “We don’t have room, besides she’s an adult. She needs to make it on her own,” he agreed.

  “Promise me you’ll stick to that.”

  “I promise,” he said.

  I swallowed and nodded my head. “Okay, thank you.” I was terrified she’d worm her way in, and soon it would be both his mom and sister living with us. I’d done what I could to welcome his mom, and made her a part of the family, but I didn’t want to be crowded out of my own house. To be honest, I’d be just as happy if Caroline would move out too, but that didn’t seem to be a reality – unless…I smiled at the thought. Caroline and Maggie could room somewhere, get an apartment, and then I could have my place back to myself.

  Okay, so it was a daydream, sue me.

  Paying the bill, we wandered out onto the street. Strolling hand in hand, we walked around the block a couple of times, before finally getting in the car. Heading to the hotel, I was ready to spend more quality time with my husband – naked.

  As we walked into the lobby, there was a gorgeous stone fireplace. It was so inviting, and I asked Austin if he minded if we sat by the fire for a bit. After checking in, he brought the bags up to our room, and then returned. Sitting arm in arm, I leaned into my husband.

  Tonight was going to be a great night, I could feel it. I was content pressed against him, and sitting there not needing to speak, we were in sync. A quiet comfort wrapped around us as we listened to the crackle of the burning logs.

  When I looked up at him, I knew. We both smiled and stood up. “Let’s go upstairs,” he whispered.

  Austin wrapped his arm around me as we walked to the elevator. We walked as the lovers we used to be, no hang ups, no pressure. Being with him never got old; I loved him more deeply than I ever had. We had history and survived so many different things, and yet here we were together and still in love. I don’t know why it amazed me, but I guess I kept thinking we’d fall out of love, or something bad would happen. Only when the bad stuff happened, we came out of it stronger, side by side.

  As the elevator opened we stepped inside, and as the doors closed Austin stole a kiss. It was sweet and tender, “I can’t wait to see you naked.”

  I smiled at my husband, and then chased him down the hallway as the elevator doors parted. Getting to our room, I pressed into Austin’s back and wrapped my arms around his chest, as he unlocked our door. I wanted to touch him, feel him, and be with him more than ever. The moment was magic. I knew everything would be okay.

  Closing the door behind us, Austin pressed me to it. His hands locked on my wrists and pulled them up over my head. Leaning in, he kissed me hard, our mouths hungry to taste one another. I could have stayed there forever, melting into his kiss. As our tongues explored one another, his fingers danced on my skin.

  Looking into my eyes, he spoke softly, “I love you, Mrs. Sharpe.”

  Another kiss, this one more tender, with his lips barely brushing against my own, I felt a warmth flushing through my body.

  Austin let his fingers slide down my neck and shoulders, and slowly traced the length of my arms, until we were hand in hand.

  “Strip for me,” he whispered. “Do it slowly,” he instructed.

  I looked down, a little embarrassed. I didn’t have a stripper’s body these days, but the idea of turning my husband on with a striptease excited me a little bit. “Okay,” I said, “but you’ll have to go sit on the bed.”

  Moving over to the bed, Austin eagerly waited for me to shed my clothes for him. I stepped out of my heels, and slowly slid my nylons down, by placing my foot on his knee. Rolling them down an inch at a time, he was smitten and engaged. Taking them off, I tossed them aside.

  Reaching around, I undid the zipper on my dress. Letting my dress fall over my shoulders, I shifted and pulled it up and over my head. Standing in my bra and panties, I felt insanely sexy showcasing my body. His eyes never left me, and the schoolboy grin showed his enjoyment.

  I coyly unhooked my bra and let the straps fall loose. Wiggling out of the material, I smiled. Austin was mesmerized, which amused me. It’s not like he’s never seen my naked body, but we were caught up in the moment.

  My fingers went down to my panties, and shifting them down over my hips, I teased my husband, moving painfully slow. As I got to my thighs, I let them drop to the floor before stepping out of them. Turning around, I shook my bare ass cheeks at my husband and laughed.

  Reaching up, Austin squeezed the round flesh before him, and leaned in to kiss a cheek. “You are gorgeous,” he uttered.

  “Thank you,” I said turning around. My breasts were level with his face.

  Austin placed his hand at the small of my back and pressed me to him. Taking one of my nipples between his lips, I closed my eyes as his warm, wet mouth encased me. A soft moan escaped my lips.

  My fingers raked through his hair as I pulled him in closer, letting him milk and suckle my breast with his tongue. Tingling sensations ran through my body, and the dampness between my legs told me I was ready for more. For once, my body was cooperating.

  Austin’s lips caressed my skin with kisses.

  “Get undressed,” I urged, wanting to feel him against me. I was desperate to be in his arms, naked, and in bed. As my desires grew, I didn’t want to wait.

  Austin removed his clothes, and together we climbed into bed.

  “Make love to me,” I whispered, as I nuzzled and teased him, my hot breath against his face.

  His hands played me like a finely tuned instrument, and as he stroked and moved within me, I clutched onto his body, feeling the first wave of pleasure peaking. Arching my back, I cried out as his fingers brought me to a finish, reminding me how much I missed sharing intimate moments.

  “Don’t stop,” I begged.

  Again, small waves pushed through me as he continued to tease my body. I was buzzing with sensitivity, and each strum, each touch, each taste, I buckled and arched until I finally collapsed in exhaustion.

  Austin whispered how much he liked to watch me. He was stroking his cock now, waiting for the go ahead. As I regained my composure, I nodded, letting him know I was ready.

  Climbing between my legs, I gasped feeling him penetrate my opening, filling me up.

  “You’re so wet,” he groaned as he thrust in and out of me. “You feel so good.”

  Slow and steady movements kept his own orgasm at bay, but when he couldn’t take much more, he pumped fast and furiously, letting his seed spill deep inside of me.

  With ragged breathing and a loud grunt, Austin fell beside me on the bed. I watched as he floated on the high of his orgasm.

  It was these precious moments, right after we’d been intimate – they were my favorite. Nobody was guarded; we were simply a couple in love.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Lying against my husband, I snuggled into the nook between his arm and chest. His cologne clung to his body, and I leisured in the masculine scent. He always smelled so good.

  “It’s so quiet
,” I whispered, suddenly noticing the lack of noise.

  “I’ll turn the radio on,” he said. “We’re used to a busier household.”

  “Yeah, it’s kind of nice, but it feels weird,” I admitted.

  He rolled to the side and clicked the radio on, adjusting the volume so it was simple background noise.

  “Oh, that’s better,” I agreed. “When did I get averse to silence?”

  “It’s one of those funny things, huh. You sort of get used to white noise, without realizing it’s always there.”

  We talked about trivial nonsense, just enjoying each other’s company. Pressed to his side, I was grateful for the time alone with him. I wished we could steal away more often, but we needed to find a way to make things work at home.

  We couldn’t ignore how things had been forever. I knew a lot of it was me lately, and I made a promise to try harder, and not to shut him out so easily. I loved my husband, and wanted him more than anything, and lately I hadn’t been sending out that kind of vibe. I’d shut down and was unavailable. It wasn’t fair to him, and I needed love as much as he did.

  Slowly my hands started to roam, and I let them linger lower. Playing in the soft patch of hair above his manhood, I slipped my fingers around his girth, and teased him with a mix of firm and gentle movements. Feeling him grow in my hand, I smiled. I wanted to feel him deep inside of me again.

  As he stiffened, I shifted so I could climb atop him. Straddling his legs, I positioned myself over my husband’s cock. Closing my eyes, I pushed down, letting Austin’s penis fill me.

  His groan spoke of pleasure. I wasn’t in a hurry, and wanted to move slowly. I lifted off of him, and pushed back down. Reaching down, I played with my sensitive bits.

  Austin couldn’t look away, he was mesmerized. I enjoyed him watching me, and put on a show for him. Leaning back, I spread my legs a little wider, and fingered my clit. About to cum, I squeezed my thighs tight, clenching, trying to hold back, but it was too late. I cried out with passion, and pressed hard into him.

  Austin grabbed my back and pulled me to his chest. Pumping hard from below, he went deep and fast, and as I moaned and gasped, he came within me. I lay still on his chest, feeling his sweaty chest against my cheek. I couldn’t move, didn’t want to move. I wanted to stay here, exactly like this forever.

  Holding me, his arms folded around my back, we lay in silence. “That was amazing,” he finally said.

  “Mmm,” was all I could get out. I rolled off of Austin, and fell into a cat nap. Waking beside him a few minutes later, I smiled. “Sorry, I fell asleep.”

  “Don’t apologize,” he said. “I’ve been watching you sleep. You looked angelic.”

  “You’re sweet.”

  Leaning in, he kissed my forehead.

  We knew we had to face reality soon, but at least tonight we’d get a good night’s rest. Tomorrow we’d confront Maggie, giving her a time limit on how long she could stay. We could handle it together, as long as Austin stuck to his word and told her no more than a week.

  We leisured over a room service continental breakfast. Sipping my orange juice, and enjoying a croissant, I knew I had to shower soon. We had to go home eventually; I just wasn’t looking forward to leaving the quiet and comfort of the hotel room yet.

  “One more time,” I smiled.

  Austin looked up from the newspaper he was reading, “In the shower?”

  I grinned, and then ran for the bathroom to start the water. “Come on, lover boy,” I said playfully.

  With the hot water spraying around us, and Austin’s lips on my neck, I enjoyed our last lovemaking session in the privacy of the hotel room.

  Turning off the water and drying ourselves, we knew it was time to get our things together and head back. I hoped these special feelings followed us there. I’d missed them so much.

  I was mellow, in love, and enjoying our drive home. I knew it was the last of the quiet, and stress waited for me, but for these last few minutes I was going to relax.

  As we neared our house, I felt the stress start to build up in me. My stomach churned, and my shoulders felt tight. I guess reality was back. I couldn’t fake out my own body, my subconscious won this round.

  Pulling up, I turned to look at Austin, “One week.”

  “One week,” he said, strengthening his resolve.

  Together we went in, ready to tackle this head on, only on seeing her with her foot propped up on the sofa, I knew, felt it deep in my belly, she’d be here longer.

  “Hey kiddo, how’s the ankle?”

  “Eh, just a little sore, Mom’s been having me ice it.”

  “How was your night of loving?” She asked playfully.

  Austin raised an eyebrow, “Inappropriate,” he said.

  “Sorry, Mr. Uptight.”

  “So what happened?” Austin asked, sitting beside his sister.

  She shrugged.

  “I thought you and Bobby were getting along. Last I talked to you, he was the one, but it doesn’t sound like there was only one.”

  “Yeah, about that,” she started, and then thought better. Stopping her train of thought, “We’re through.”

  “Do you have feelings for this other guy?”

  “Umm, about that,” she started again. “It was one of his buddies, but it wasn’t a guy,” she said sheepishly.

  “Maggie!” Caroline shot out, “Oh my God, kill me now.”

  “Mom, don’t be so old school. It’s not a big deal.”

  “Not a big deal?” She got up and walked away, horrified that her daughter slept with another woman.

  “I’ll talk to her,” Austin said, still trying to absorb her words himself.

  I stood watching it all go down, not sure what to make of it.

  “Are you into women now?” Austin wasn’t sure how to handle the conversation. It wasn’t one he expected to ever have.

  “Nah, it was more curiosity. We were drunk, but Bobby wasn’t cool with it, because he didn’t know about it.”

  “Are you going to try to work it out?”

  “I don’t know, I mean I love him and all, but I was willing to sleep with somebody else. I’m not even sure why I did it. Anyway, you’d think a guy would think that was hot.”

  “Yeah, only if he’s in bed with you or watching. You left him out of the picture.”

  “Whatever,” she shrugged. “I don’t know what I want right now. I’m confused. I can stay here right?”

  I gently placed my hand on Austin’s back, reminding him of our pact.

  “Sure, for about a week, but then you need to figure things out. It’s already a tight fit here.”

  “Thanks, Austin,” she said totally ignoring the fact that this was my house too, and I was standing right there.

  What? Am I invisible?

  It was like Austin read my mind, “Thank Kate,” he said, walking to the kitchen to talk to his mother.

  We listened as they went back and forth on the topic. They had differing opinions, and decided to leave it at that. Caroline was horrified, and Austin was simply surprised by his sister’s activities.

  Excusing myself, I brought our overnight bag upstairs to unpack, and then flopped down with the kids to play.

  Nothing was easy. What happened to the days where we had little issues? Why was everything so life altering and dramatic? I was desperate for a drama free zone, and wondered if one actually existed – probably not if you had family around.

  Chapter Fifteen

  I was certain Maggie would plant herself in our lives for way too long, but after four days, she was back on the phone working things out with her boyfriend, Bobby. He was ready to forgive her and take her back, but under the condition that monogamy included no other men or women in their bed.

  I was beyond relieved, because living with Maggie was no picnic. She made sure we heard her opinion on absolutely everything, whether it was what was for dinner, what was on the television, how we dressed, you name it. That was one opinionated girl.
I was good and ready for her to leave, and when she did, I silently cheered.

  Life as we knew it got back to normal once again. I decided I needed to work at least part time to get out of the house, and spend time with adults. I loved my children dearly, but I needed to feel like Kate. I mostly felt like Mommy or Austin’s wife a good deal of the time, and ached for a little independence. I didn’t want go full time, not until both kids were in school, and thankfully with this job, we were okay with that choice.

  Only I found that being out of the workforce for the last year left a gap on my resume. It was easily explained as we relocated, but from what I’d heard, someone that’s been out of work for a while can come off as unemployable. That worried me, and I hoped I’d find something small. I wasn’t looking for a career at this point, just something that got me out of the house.

  I finally found a position answering phones at a local office, and having to get dressed up for work again helped me rediscover my desire to look nice. I know that sounds funny, but staying at home all this time I let my hair go most days, barely put on make-up, and lived in sweats most days. Now that I had to take care of myself again, I realized how much I missed that little task.

  Leaving the house made-up, I felt better about myself and took more pride in my appearance. It left me wanting to get moving again, and the urge to start running bit me. It had been a long time, and I knew I’d have to start all over, but for the first time in a long time I felt like myself.

  The depression, the move, I let it get to me. It felt good taking my life back and making me a priority again. I think Austin noticed the change too, because he said I smiled more, and was more receptive in other ways. Our sex life picked up in the process, and once again we found our groove.

  Austin and I made a quick trip to the grocery store one Saturday afternoon to pick up supplies for dinner. We had a change of plans and needed a few things. On walking back into the house, with bags in hand, we headed to the kitchen.

  A shout, a slap, and we all stood frozen. Austin dropped his bags and grabbed Ryan. “If you ever hit my child again,” his voice rose to a level I’d never heard.

 

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