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Teth shuffled down the stairs of the Muldon house in a half-daze. The sound of boots on the stairs had disrupted her from the deepest sleep she remembered having in a long time, and she was still not quite awake. She had almost rolled back over in search of further sleep, but the sound that had roused her could only have been Dasen, and, despite what she had said last night, she had no intention of letting him leave without her.
Last night, she had strongly considered it, had thought about letting him go, had fantasized about finding him lost, hungry, and begging to make things right. But the truth was she probably never would have seen him again. He wouldn’t last a day in the forest without her, and as bad as he was, he had at least shown that he cared for her, that he would not take advantage of her.
As she had thought on it in the long hours it took her to sleep, she had decided he was exactly what she had said, a coward. He was afraid of what people thought, more concerned about that than he was about her. But there were a lot worse things he could be. He could be cruel, domineering, arrogant. He could have hit her, raped her, left her for dead. But he hadn’t. He had been caring, kind, and he had been brave. Certainly he was capable of courage, had shown it time and again since they were joined. She just had to convince him that she was worth the fight, that saving her from being drowned by society was as important as saving her from drowning in a river.
So it was that she had made a plan. Long after Dasen had fallen asleep, after her foolish tears had stopped, she had come up with a plan to show him that she was worth his bravery. She would show him the forces that had shaped her, show him that they were not the passing interests of a child. He would have to see why the person she was could not be undone, could not be reshaped to his whims, could not ever be the woman he expected. And hardest of all, she would have to show him that she was worth loving, was worth fighting for. It would be a long, hard march for both of them, but she could see no other way.
Another yawn racked her as she trudged down the stairs. She did not hurry. She knew that Dasen could not be far ahead and mostly wanted to make sure he was not actually stupid enough to leave without her – who knows how much trouble he would get into before I could sneak away and track him down.
At the bottom of the stairs, she heard voices. Dasen and Jer were speaking, but the table was on the far side of the room and their conversation was too faint to understand. She stood for a long moment trying to decipher their words but could not make out a thing. She prepared herself for what she needed to do, rehearsed the speech she had planned the night before, forced herself to lower her shoulders, to look smaller and weaker, demure and lost. Finally, she turned the corner into the room.
Dasen and Jer were sitting at the table while Seri crouched near the fire. None of them saw her, and she caught a snippet of what Jer was saying. “It’s no journey fir a woman. If’n ya want, ya can leave now, an’ we’ll . . .”
“Jer, hush!” Seri whispered when she saw Teth. To cover the conspiracy, she continued, “Tethina, it’s good ta see ya up. Did ya sleep well? Perhaps ya could help me. I need some potatoes from the vegetable cellar over the hill behind the house. Those men didn’t . . . .”
Teth did not respond, her face fell into her hand, and she started to sob. “You can’t, Dasen. Please . . . by the Order, I can’t survive without you. Please, don’t leave without me.” Dasen’s look of terror turned to disbelief, his jaw nearly resting on the table.
“I know that I’m a terrible burden on you,” Teth continued after a moment to contain her histrionics. She went to the table, grabbed Dasen’s arm, and pleaded, “I know that it would be safer for both of us, if I stay here, but I can’t bear to let you go and live with the worry of never seeing you again. Less than a week ago, I pledged that I would stand with you no matter how hard our lives are, and I intend to keep that promise. I know I don’t do much, but at least I can dig roots at the end of the day and cook a meal.” She paused and stared into his eyes. “If you ask me to stay,” a loud snuffle, “I will live up to my vow and obey, but I tell you, it will break my heart.” She clutched his hand as if she would have to be pried away.
Dasen was too surprised to respond, though she saw realization beginning to bloom. She looked timidly away to keep her eyes from giving her away. A second later, Seri was at her side. Teth buried her face in the small woman’s bountiful chest and wept loudly. She could almost feel the matron’s eyes boring into Dasen from above.
“That’s a mighty fine wife there,” Jer said. “We’d be happy ta have ‘er ‘ere, but I think ya’d be missin’ ‘er. Ya know, sometimes we’s need somethin’ ta protect ta keep our bravery up, ta keep us goin’ when the times is hard. I’m not tellin’ ya what ta do, but Tethina ‘ere might give ya that strength when yir a needin’ it.”
Dasen sighed, long and deep. “Of couse, you can come,” he said, voice dripping with mock sympathy. “You know I could never do it without you. Now please stop with this crying and have some breakfast.”
From Across the Clouded Range Page 74