So they’d humored each other, the months stretching into years, neither one of them planning to give in on their vision of the future. It would have been comical if it hadn’t been so damn painful and sad. They’d been doomed from the very start. Never had a chance.
“What are you building?”
Cal paused, his arm in the air ready to take another swing before setting the hammer down onto the sawhorse, his hand shaking slightly. When he’d vowed to keep his distance from Michaela he hadn’t taken into consideration that he might want to do the same with Alex.
Turning around, Cal grabbed a towel and mopped at his sweaty brow. It was still warm this time of year and the warehouse wasn’t air conditioned.
“A picture frame for one of those spooky paintings Doris makes.”
The boy took a few steps forward and studied Cal’s handiwork. “That’s pretty cool. Where’d you learn to make stuff?”
Cal ran the towel on his damp neck before answering. “My dad. I think you know him. Abe Faulkner.”
Alex nodded and then reached out his hand to run his fingers along the wood frame. “My mom can play guitar. She taught me a little.”
“She’s really good. She can play the piano too.”
Alex looked up, his eyes wide. “Do you know my mom?”
Swallowing hard, Cal nodded. “I do. She and I were best friends all through our school years and beyond. Do you have a best friend?”
“Kenny,” Alex replied. “Kenny Williams. He’s better than me at baseball but I’m better at math.”
“That’s okay. You can help him and he can help you. Your mom helped me with my history homework and I showed her how to fish.”
Alex looked down at the picture frame again. “Will you teach me how to do this? I promise I won’t get in the way. My mom thinks I’m going to get hurt.”
Michaela had always been the type to worry herself into a frazzle. But doing this was a bad idea for several completely different reasons.
“I’m not sure–”
“Please,” Alex broke in, his tone pleading. “I won’t be any trouble, I promise. Cross my heart.”
Cal sighed in defeat and scratched at his chin, stubbly at the end of the day. The little boy’s features were too much like hers and he felt that old familiar weakness he well remembered.
“Maybe,” he conceded, and then had another idea that might make things less awkward. “Maybe I could teach you and your friend Kenny. That way you could help each other. You can be my apprentices.”
If he worked with both kids it wouldn’t be like he was doing something for Alex because he was Michaela’s son.
It wouldn’t be so…personal.
Alex ran toward the entrance to the hallway, his cheeks pink with excitement. “I’m going to go talk to Kenny. This is so cool. Thank you, Mr. Faulkner.”
“I think you better call me Cal if we’re going to work together.”
A wide grin and the boy was gone. Presumably to talk to Kenny. And maybe his mom.
Which was going to open up a huge can of worms.
Cal had tried to avoid Michaela but the universe was against him. Perhaps it was time to cleanse their souls and admit their mistakes. It couldn’t be any worse than the awkward conversation they’d had earlier, the tension thick and painful.
Now Cal understood what his father had been talking about.
It was time to talk to Michaela.
Chapter Four
“HE SAID I could help him and he would teach me and Kenny.”
Alex was practically bouncing with excitement and Mika had to calm him down and repeat what he’d said one more time. With the typical eye roll she’d come to expect, her son took a deep breath and explained that Cal had agreed to teach him and Kenny how to do some woodwork. Somewhere in the rushed words she’d also learned that Cal had told Alex that he knew her and that they’d been best friends.
How in the hell was she supposed to say no to this?
“Sweetheart,” she began, not wanting to see the excitement on his face disappear but needing him to understand that spending time with Cal wasn’t the best idea. “Mr. Faulkner is a very busy man with a great deal of work to do. I can’t have you bothering him.”
Alex’s brows pulled together and his smile drooped. “He said it would be okay. I won’t be in his way. He said so.”
“You or Kenny might get hurt.”
Cal had done this. Put her in the untenable position of looking like the bad guy while he walked around still the local hero. He didn’t have any children and he didn’t understand.
“I’ll think about this,” Mika finally said, her tone keeping Alex from arguing. The little boy’s lips snapped shut and his expression turned stormy. He knew his chances were slim. “I will also talk to Mr. Faulkner about it and see what he has in mind.”
Alex kicked at the table leg, his lower lip protruding. “You’re gonna say no, aren’t you?”
“If you sulk like that? Absolutely. Act like a big boy and I’ll treat you that way. Now put that lower lip back before a little birdie perches on it and builds a nest.”
Her teasing wrangled a smile from her son and she patted him on the back and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Give me five minutes to get my things together and then we’ll go get pizza. Why don’t you go say goodbye to Doris?”
Alex skipped off and passed Cal coming the other way, his toolbox in his hand, looking exhausted. Hardening her heart, she stood up a little straighter and crossed her arms over her chest.
“What do you think you’re doing, Cal? You should have talked to me first.”
* * *
MICHAELA’S CHEEKS WERE red with anger and he couldn’t say he blamed her. The whole situation wasn’t ideal but he’d been unable to turn Alex down. He held up his hands in a sign of surrender.
“Mea culpa, Mika. I should have talked to you first but he kind of cornered me. How do you say no when he looks up at you with those puppy dog eyes? Shit, I didn’t want him to cry or something.”
She huffed and began to roll up the sketches, her lips pressed together in a thin line. “I’m the mom and sometimes that means doing things that don’t make me popular. This has put me in a difficult situation. Can’t you see that?”
Cal placed his toolbox on the table and leaned forward so he could see her pissed off expression. She’d always had a head of steam but it usually didn’t last too long.
“I can see your point. But let me ask you a question… Are you upset because you don’t want me to spend time with Alex? Or are you upset because you don’t want to spend time with me?”
Mika opened her mouth to answer and then snapped it shut. Her hands were visibly shaking and he felt a twist in his gut that he was the cause. He’d meant it when he told his father that he didn’t want her to be stressed and hurt by his presence. It was time they hashed out all the pain and recriminations and moved on with their lives.
“This is not about me. This is about a little boy. All I need is for him to get attached to you and then you leave. He’s had enough of that in his life.”
She’d wrapped her arms around her torso as if she needed protection from him. Some kind of shield to keep him at arm’s length. She didn’t need it. Their past was barrier enough.
“I’m not trying to hurt your son, Mika. He started talking to me.”
“He’s curious about a lot of things but I don’t indulge him when he wants to play with matches or knives.”
Her anger was already starting to abate, never able to hold a grudge. She’d been grasping at straws anyway in her attempt to paint him as the villain.
“I’ll gladly take my share of the blame here, Mika. Most of it, in fact. But not all.”
Her fingers curled around her large leather purse as she stuffed the sketches inside. “You make me so angry I can’t think straight. I’m normally the most placid person anyone could ever know but a few minutes in your company and I’m a total bitch. I don’t think it’s healthy, honestly.�
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Placid? Since when could Michaela Adams be called placid of all things? She’d been a firecracker with a snarky mouth when he’d known her.
“Why would you even want to be called that insipid word? Hell, that’s not the woman I knew. The Michaela I loved had fire and passion. She cared about people and causes. She was brave and strong. She sure as shit wasn’t placid.”
“I am strong. I’ve just grown up—something you might want to try. My life isn’t about just me anymore. Unlike you.”
Another dig at his solitary lifestyle. He wasn’t going to bite. Not tonight.
“I’m tired of arguing with you. We never get anywhere and simply run laps, saying the same things over and over. When you’re ready to have an honest talk about the past let me know. Until then I’ll keep to myself. I’ll let you tell Alex that I can’t spend time with him. Just blame it on me.”
“I wouldn’t do that,” she denied, her shoulders stiffening. “I know how he can manipulate things to get his own way so I don’t blame you. I’ll talk to him.”
“You’ll talk to him but you won’t talk to me.” Cal lifted his toolbox from the table and headed for the door. “This was part of our problem.”
She looked like she wanted to toss something at him but instead she let him walk out of the door without a word. He tossed his tools into the back of his truck and pulled out of the parking lot, pointing the vehicle toward his temporary home.
Cal hadn’t wanted to do this volunteer job for this very reason. Tension. Animosity. Pure anger.
All those bad feelings were held deep inside, pushed down, ignored, and left to fester for way too long.
It was only a matter of time before everything blew up in one glorious technicolor explosion.
Chapter Five
MIKA SLID A slice of pizza onto a plate and handed it to Charlotte. Alex was in bed and they were relaxing in front of a chick flick and looking forward to the weekend. It had been a long week and seeing Cal every day at the haunted house site hadn’t made it go any faster. They’d managed to be polite to one another but it had been a struggle.
“I just think you should cut him some slack, that’s all.” Charlotte picked off a piece of sausage and popped it into her mouth. “For all the crap he’s done you’re no angel in this either. You both are stubborn as mules and have held onto the past way too long. Let it go and move on. I think Cal’s a nice guy.”
Apparently everyone did. His return had set the gossip mills buzzing and the young single women into a collective swoon. Mika seemed to be the only one who wasn’t as welcoming.
“He still makes me mad. He blows into town and turns everything on its ear and then he’s just going to walk away again.” Mika blew out a breath as she recalled their conversation last week. She’d been fuming about it for days. “He made fun of me for saying I was placid.”
“Good. Since Cal left you’ve been slowly fading away. You’re not the girl you used to be.”
“I’ve grown up,” Mika protested. “That’s what people are supposed to do.”
“Grow up, but don’t become old before your time. There’s a difference.” Charlotte sipped at her wine before grimacing slightly. “By the way, I told Cal it was okay for him to spend some time with Kenny teaching him woodwork.”
Mika slapped the slice of pizza back down on the plate. “Are you serious? After I told Alex he couldn’t and chewed Cal a new one for saying he would? Is everybody out to make me the bad guy here?”
Charlotte’s brows went up and she cocked her head to the side. “Are you being the bad guy? Give me one good reason not to let Cal teach Alex some woodworking skills. A reason other than you two broke up and you’re still butthurt. That’s not a good reason.”
Mika started to answer, filled with righteous indignation, but the hilarity of the situation wasn’t lost on her and she began to giggle. At first softly and then loudly when Charlotte joined in.
“Butthurt. That word always cracks me up. Yes, I guess I am butthurt. And bitchy. And stubborn. I’m not sure why you put up with me, honestly.”
“Because I love you,” Charlotte answered promptly. “And you love me. Even when we do things that don’t make sense. And Mika? This attitude you have toward Cal doesn’t make sense. He didn’t leave you—you left each other. You couldn’t move to Chicago and he couldn’t stay here. I bet you broke his heart.”
“I doubt he stayed celibate in my honor.” Mika rolled her eyes imagining all the sophisticated women from the city that Cal had dated and bedded. Dressed to the nines, their hair and makeup perfect, they would complement his dark good looks at the theatre or a fancy restaurant. Scowling at her short, unpainted nails, she could never compete with glamour like that. She was a mom first and foremost and then a teacher. Expensive clothes and jewels were not a requirement.
She sounded defensive and she didn’t mean to. Her decision to adopt Alex and become his mother had been the absolute right one.
“Cal is a good man.” Charlotte reached out and patted Mika’s hand. “You told him to go, Mika. You told him to go on to Chicago and that you would follow. You didn’t. You strung Cal along for over a year and stayed here in the end. If anyone has a reason to be bitter…well, it isn’t you.”
“He could have come back,” Mika whispered, her heart hurting at the memory that still had such power over her emotions. “For the longest time I kept hoping he would.”
Charlotte shook her head and sighed. “He couldn’t come back. You both took sledgehammers to each other’s hearts. Neither of you hold the moral high ground here. Maybe it’s time to forgive each other and start again.”
Her friend was actually serious. “Start again? Are you suggesting that Cal and I date or something? That’s absurd.”
“I wasn’t suggesting any such thing but obviously you’re thinking about it.” Charlotte wore a delighted expression. “I was just saying you could pretend you were meeting him for the very first time. But if you want to ask him out then by all means go for it. I bet he’d say yes.”
That was scarier than anything.
* * *
A POKER GAME with Jon and his friends seemed like a great way for Cal to spend Friday night. It had been a long, tension-filled week with Mika and he needed the break. She’d been frosty when he’d tried to engage her in conversation and honestly he was exhausted. He’d tried to put the past behind them and stay in the present but she wasn’t cooperating.
Jon’s condo in Virginia Beach was the typical bachelor pad, sparsely decorated except for photos of him and his girlfriend Ali. He probably spent most of his time at her place by the looks of things.
The group was gathered in the kitchen taking a break and diving into the boxes of pizza that had just been delivered. Cal bit into a slice before knocking back a shot of whiskey, feeling the burn all the way to his gut.
It was exactly what he’d needed to relax and unwind.
Zane, Rick, and Chris were laidback and didn’t mind losing a few bucks in a card game so they were a-okay with Cal, although it was clear he was the odd man out. The four men knew each other so well from their years as active duty SEALs they barely had to even speak to each other. It reminded Cal of how it had been during those early years in the FBI when camaraderie had been more important than politics.
Jon slapped Cal on the back and refilled his whiskey glass. “How are you getting settled in? It’s got to be a real culture shock going from Chicago to a little town like Applewood.”
Cal didn’t gulp the amber colored liquid this time, sipping at it instead. Jon had offered to let him spend the night if he had a few too many but he’d rather sleep in his own bed.
“It’s going fine but yes, it is a change. Applewood rolls up the streets about nine o’clock on the weekends and nobody locks their door. I’d forgotten any place could be like that.”
Danger had become second nature to Cal these last several years, always looking over his shoulder. He was only now beginning to lose the paranoi
a that accompanied deep undercover work. It had kept him alive but now he had no need of it.
“You got a love a place like that,” Rick chuckled, grabbing another slice of pizza. “The world is a dangerous place and yet they have no idea. I hope they can hold onto that innocence awhile longer.”
“Me too, although I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be there. Mom’s feeling better every day and honestly Dad should just retire and close shop.”
Jon frowned. “If you didn’t stay would you go back to Chicago?”
Cal wasn’t sure there was anything to go back to. He hadn’t heard a word about the internal investigation into his handling of the Alan Morton case, which probably meant they were planning to hang him from the highest tree. Cal hadn’t done a damn thing wrong but powerful people weren’t going to let this rest.
“Maybe.” Shrugging, Cal leaned against the kitchen counter. “I don’t think I’m wanted very much in Applewood. It might be better if I just left when my lease is up.”
“You’re not wanted by everyone or you’re not wanted by Michaela?” Jon asked. The other men had wandered onto the back deck, leaving Cal and Jon alone in the kitchen. “I take it from your expression that the reunion didn’t go well.”
“You could say that,” Cal snorted. “She raked me over the coals and even told me not to spend time with her son. All in all it was a failure of epic proportions. We need to clear the air but I don’t really know how to make that happen. Communicating with females has never been my strong suit.”
“I wouldn’t say it’s mine either.” Jon scratched his chin in thought. “Have you thought about getting her alone and not letting her leave until she yells it all out? Let her call you all sorts of names until she’s run out of steam.”
“It’s crossed my mind but I’m not sure that even then she won’t be mad. She blames me for the demise of our relationship. Hell, maybe she’s right. I’ve made mistakes in my life and this is probably just one more.”
Hot SEALs: Discarded Heart (Kindle Worlds; Danger Incorporated Book 2.5) Page 3