by Amy Clipston
“You’re surprised,” Madeleine finally said.
“Ya.” Saul nodded. “I’m shocked, but I’m froh.” He stopped walking by the icy pond, which glistened in the afternoon sun. “When did you decide to convert?”
She looked out over the pond. “I spoke to the bishop last week.”
“That’s why you put a For Sale sign in your truck.”
She nodded. “Ya. I actually sold it yesterday and got a ride here today. I’m going to turn off my cell phone at the end of the month, and I’m having the phone in the barn hooked up. I’m going to join the next baptism class in the spring. I’ll be baptized in the fall after I complete the classes.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Madeleine’s expression became unsure. “I guess I was afraid.”
“Why would you be afraid to tell me?” He searched her eyes.
“I didn’t want you to think I was converting for the wrong reason. I want to be Amish because I love this community. After dreaming of a place I could call my home, I’ve finally found it. I also want to keep my promise to Emma. She’s very important to me.”
“You’re very important to both of us.” He took her hands in his. “Maddie, I’m sorry I’ve been cold to you. When Annie left, I built a wall around my heart. I didn’t know how to let someone past that wall because I was afraid of being hurt again. I also was overprotective of Emma because she was all I had left.” He paused and stared deep into her eyes. “You’ve changed me. You’ve taught me how to love again. You’ve awakened feelings in me that I haven’t felt in years.”
Madeleine sniffed as tears filled her eyes.
“Marcus once said I was too scared to take risks, and he was right. But I’m not scared anymore.” He took a deep breath and mustered all of his strength. “Maddie, seeing you today has made me realize that I’m ready to give my heart away again. God has given me a second chance to love someone by bringing you into my life. I’m thankful for you.”
Madeleine wiped her eyes with one hand.
“I want you to be a part of my life, Maddie. I also want you to be in Emma’s life. Would you give me a chance to show you how much you mean to us?” He squeezed her hands. “I’d like to get to know you, and then we can officially start dating after you’re baptized. Does that sound gut to you?”
“Ya.” She sniffed, and a tear trickled down her cheek. “That would make me so froh. I thought I would never love again after losing Travis the way I did. My heart was ripped out of my chest when he killed himself. I felt guilty for not seeing the signs that he needed more help than he was getting. After he died, I felt all alone, but you and Emma have become my family. God gave me another chance at love too. I’m so blessed to be here with you and Emma.”
“Ich liebe dich,” he whispered as he wiped away her tear with the tip of his finger.
“Ich liebe dich.” She repeated the words, and they were like a sweet melody to his ears.
Madeleine couldn’t stop smiling as she and Saul walked together back to the barn. She knew that joining the church was the right decision and that God had put that decision in her heart. She not only had found a home, but she’d also found a family with Saul and Emma Beiler.
“Madeleine!” Linda Zook rushed over to Madeleine and Saul as they approached the barn. “Ruth is in the hospital.”
“What?” Madeleine gasped. “I was wondering why she wasn’t here this morning. What happened?”
“Her husband just called to say she’s had a stroke. She told me on Friday that she wasn’t feeling well and she was going to go home and rest. I never imagined it was this serious.” Linda’s eyes were wide. “We have to get to the hospital.”
Madeleine looked up at Saul. “Could we call your driver?”
“Ya.” Saul nodded. “I’ll call right away.”
Madeleine, Saul, Carolyn, Josh, and Linda walked into the hospital that afternoon. Madeleine rushed to the front desk and asked where she could find Ruth, and they hurried to Ruth’s room.
“Do you think we should take turns going in?” Linda asked. “We might overwhelm her if we all go in at once.”
“Ya, that’s a gut point.” Carolyn looked at Madeleine. “You go first. We’ll wait in the sitting room down the hall.”
Madeleine turned toward Saul, who nodded in agreement. Madeleine knocked on the door and then opened it. Ruth’s husband, Jonas, sat beside Ruth’s bed with his hands folded in his lap. His gaze was frozen on Ruth, who had an oxygen tube in her nose. Machines next to her beeped and hummed.
“Jonas,” Madeleine whispered as tears filled her eyes. “How is she?”
The older man shook his head and frowned. The sadness and worry in his eyes caused the tears to sprinkle down Madeleine’s cheeks.
Ruth stirred, turned toward Madeleine, and reached out her hand. “M–Madeleine. K–kumm.”
“Ruth,” Madeleine took her hand. “How are you?”
Ruth’s eyes were wide as she weakly pulled Madeleine toward her. “I n–need to s–see A–Aron. You h–have to g–get h–him. You have to t–tell him to c–come.”
Tears streamed down Jonas’s cheeks as he rushed out of the room.
The machines hummed and clicked while Madeleine gnawed her lower lip. What should I do? How can I find Aaron? What should I tell Ruth?
“M–Mad–eleine,” Ruth said again, her words slow and garbled. “I n–need to s–see Aa–ron. He l–left a l–long t–time ago, and I n–need h–him to c–come b–back to m–me. I have to t–talk to h–him.”
Madeleine nodded. “Ya, I understand, Ruth. I will try to find him.”
Ruth squeezed Madeleine’s hand. “I h–have to s–see h–him r–right a–away.” Her voice rose. “D–dummle!”
“Okay.” Madeleine felt her heart breaking as she studied Ruth. She looked different. She wasn’t the same strong and steady Ruth who had been a pillar of wisdom and patience. This woman was agitated and excitable. The stroke had changed Ruth, and it was difficult to accept.
The door opened, and Jonas reappeared with a man in a white coat.
“I’ll give her something to calm her down,” the doctor said. “We’ll take care of her, Mr. Ebersol.” The doctor approached Ruth. “Mrs. Ebersol, I need you to rest now.”
“I n–need to s–see Aaron! He h–has to c–come b–back.”
“Miss,” the doctor said, addressing Madeleine. “We need to restrict Mrs. Ebersol’s visitors for now. You can come back and see her later on when she has calmed down.”
“I understand.” Madeleine cleared her throat. “Good-bye, Ruth.” More tears rolled down her cheeks. “I’ll pray for you.” She glanced at Jonas, and he gave her a solemn nod.
Madeleine hurried out of the room and down the hallway to where Saul, Josh, Carolyn, and Linda were waiting. She tried to calm her frayed nerves and stop her tears, but they continued to flow.
When she reached her friends, Saul stood and reached for her. “What happened?”
“Ruth isn’t herself.” Madeleine sat down beside Saul. “She’s weak, and her speech has been affected by the stroke. She’s also upset and agitated. She’s asking for Aaron. She begged me to find him and make him come home to see her. She was insistent.”
“Ach, no,” Carolyn gasped, and Joshua rubbed her arm.
“That’s bedauerlich,” Linda said.
“Ya,” Carolyn agreed. “We need to do something for her.”
“We do. She was very upset. She told me to hurry, that she needed to see him right away.” Madeleine looked at Saul. “Can we help her? Can we find a way to contact Aaron?”
“I’ll have to look into it,” Saul said. “I’ll do my best to find him.”
“The doctor has restricted her visitors, which means we can’t go in to see her right now.” Madeleine sighed. “I’m very upset to see her this way.”
“It will get better.” Saul touched her arm. “The doctors will take gut care of her.”
“I hope so.” Although her heart
was breaking for her friend Ruth, Madeleine felt comforted with Saul by her side.
Later that evening, Saul tucked Emma into bed and then went into his room and sat on the edge of his bed. He’d told Madeleine he would do his best to find Aaron, and he intended to keep that promise. All afternoon he’d tried to think where Aaron could possibly be and how he could find him. He’d heard Aaron had gone to a former Amish community in Missouri, but he had no idea how to find him there. His thoughts kept going back to the letter he’d received from Timothy.
He retrieved the metal box that was now in a drawer in his nightstand, sifted past the legal documents Annie had sent him, and found the postmarked envelope that had held Timothy’s letter. He studied the crumpled envelope, and then the solution hit him like a ton of bricks—the embossed return address on the envelope said Paradise Builders. He suddenly remembered a conversation he’d had with Aaron when they were fifteen.
They were spending time with friends at a youth gathering and discussing their dreams for the future. Aaron told Saul that someday he hoped to open his own construction business and call it Paradise Builders. Could this company be the one Aaron Ebersol had dreamed of when he was a child? Had Aaron moved to Missouri and started his own company? If so, did Timothy work for Aaron?
Saul’s pulse accelerated while he stared at the Paradise Builders logo. Now he had to figure out a way to contact the company and confirm that his hunch was right. The best way to confirm it was to call the company, but how would he find the phone number? He’d heard that the Internet was the best place to find information quickly. Perhaps Madeleine still had Internet access on her fancy cell phone.
Saul stuffed the envelope into his pocket and headed down the hallway to Emma’s room. After knocking, he opened the door and stepped through the doorway.
“Ya, Dat?” Emma sat up in bed. “Is something wrong?”
“No, no, mei liewe. Everything is fine. I just need to step outside for a few minutes. Will you be okay here alone?”
“I’ll be fine. Be sure to wear your coat. It’s cold out there.”
Saul smiled. “I promise to wear my coat. I’ll be back soon. You get to sleep.” He rushed downstairs, pulled on his coat, and hurried down the driveway to Madeleine’s house. He was glad to see a light glowing in her kitchen. He knocked on her storm door, and she quickly opened both doors when she saw him through her inside door’s windowpane.
“Saul?” She tilted her head. “Are you okay?”
“Ya, I just need to talk to you.”
“Come in.” They sat down at the kitchen table. “What’s going on?”
“Do you still have Internet on your phone?”
“Yes. I just charged my phone at work the other day.” She took the phone from her purse. “What do you need?”
“Can you find an address for a company in Missouri?” He fished the envelope from his pocket and smoothed it out on the table. “I think I found Aaron Ebersol.”
Madeleine glanced at the envelope and then looked up at Saul. “You think he works there?”
“No, I think he owns that company.” He tapped the envelope. “This is the envelope Timothy’s letter came in. I was trying to figure out how to find Aaron earlier, and intuition told me to look at that letter. When I saw the envelope, I felt like this was the sign we needed. When we were kids, Aaron told me he wanted to open up his own construction business and call it Paradise Builders.”
“Oh, Saul!” Madeleine grinned. “You’re a genius!”
“No, I just have a really gut memory.” He pointed to the phone. “So can you find a phone number?”
“I can try.” She typed with her fingertips, and soon she smiled and turned the phone around so he could see. “Look at what I found.”
The company name, address, and phone number were displayed on the screen.
He smiled. “Now you’re the genius.”
Her cheeks flushed bright pink, and she was adorable.
“Would you please dial the number?” he asked. “I’ll do the talking if you’d like. I’m the one who knew Aaron.”
“Let’s hope the phone number is current.” She pushed on the screen and then handed him the phone. “Hopefully it will ring.”
Saul took the phone and nodded. “It’s ringing.”
After the third ring, a recording began. “You’ve reached Paradise Builders. We’re not in the office right now, but if you leave a message, we will return your call as soon as possible.”
After a beep, Saul said, “This message is for Aaron Ebersol. This is Saul Beiler in Paradise, Pennsylvania. Your mother needs you now. Please call me.” He left his phone number and handed the phone back to Madeleine. “Now we’ll have to pray that he calls me back.”
Madeleine looked determined as she turned off the phone. “He will call you back. I can feel it.”
“I hope so.” Saul stood. “It’s late, so I’d best let you get to bed. Danki for your help.”
Madeleine touched his arm. “Ruth will be thrilled that you found Aaron.”
“That’s only if I found him. We won’t know unless he calls me back.” Saul sighed. “Let’s keep this to ourselves until we hear something.”
“I agree. Good night, Saul.” She smiled. “I’ll see you and Emma tomorrow.”
As he headed back toward the house, Saul lifted up a prayer to God, asking him to soften Aaron’s heart toward his mother. He prayed Aaron would call back before it was too late. But no matter what was going to happen, he knew in his heart that God was and would always be in control.
Discussion Questions
1. Toward the end of the book, Madeleine realizes she longs to convert to the Amish way of life. Have you ever longed to make a huge change in your life? If so, did you follow through with that change? How did your family and friends react? What Bible verses helped you with your choice? Share your experience with the group.
2. Saul feels God is giving him a second chance when he falls in love with Madeleine. Have you ever experienced a second chance?
3. Ruth quotes Matthew 6:15: “If you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” What does this verse mean to you?
4. Saul has been nursing a broken heart since his wife left and divorced him, leaving him to raise Emma alone. At the beginning of the book, he wants to find someone who’ll simply be a good mother for Emma because he doesn’t believe he will ever love again. Think of a time when you felt lost and alone. Where did you find your strength? What Bible verses helped during this time? Share with the group.
5. Saul believes he’s shielding Emma from hurt when he keeps the truth about her mother from her. In the end, it’s still painful when Emma finds out the truth. Do you think Saul’s decision to withhold the truth was justified? Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? If so, how did it turn out? Share with the group.
6. Carolyn is happy that she finally has her dream—her own home, a husband, and a father for Benjamin. Although she’s content with her new life, she still feels the pull of two worlds—working on the farm for her husband and keeping her job at the hotel. She wants to be a good, dutiful wife, but she also wants to contribute to the family by making money on her own. If you were in her situation, would you give in to Joshua’s request and quit the part-time job at the hotel?
7. In A Hopeful Heart and A Mother’s Secret, Lillian is convinced her mother is selfish and betrayed her by leaving the Amish community. In this book, we see Lillian still struggling to forgive her mother, but she’s also beginning to accept her mother’s decision to leave. Do you think it’s time for Lillian to forgive her mother and move on? Share what you think with the group.
8. Which character can you identify with the most? Which character seems to carry the most emotional stake in the story? Is it Madeleine, Emma, Saul, or someone else?
9. Saul grows as a character throughout the book. What do you think caused him to change throughout the story?
10. What did you know about th
e Amish before reading this book? What did you learn?
Acknowledgments
As always, I’m thankful for my loving family, including my mother, Lola Goebelbecker; my husband, Joe; and my sons, Zac and Matt. I’m blessed to have such an awesome and amazing family.
I’m more grateful than words can express for my patient friends who critique for me, including Margaret Halpin, Janet Pecorella, Lauran Rodriguez, and, of course, my mother. I truly appreciate the time you take out of your busy lives to help me polish my books.
I’m thankful for the people who helped me with research, especially Ginger Annas, Stacey Barbalace, Jason Clipston, Mark and Rebecca Hefner, Kimberly Moity, and Janet Pecorella.
Special thanks to my special Amish friends who patiently answer my endless stream of questions. You’re a blessing in my life.
Thank you, my wonderful church family at Morning Star Lutheran in Matthews, North Carolina, for your encouragement, prayers, love, and friendship. You all mean so much to my family and me.
To my agent, Sue Brower—you are a blessing to me. I’m thankful that our paths have crossed and our partnership will continue long into the future.
Thank you, Becky Philpott, my amazing editor, for your friendship and guidance. I’m grateful to Julee Schwarzburg and Jean Bloom, who helped me polish and refine the story. Julee and Jean, I hope we can work together again in the future.
I also would like to thank Laura Dickerson for tirelessly working to promote my books. I’m grateful to each and every person at HarperCollins Christian Publishing who helped make this book a reality.
To my readers—thank you for choosing my novels. My books are a blessing in my life for many reasons, including the special friendships I’ve formed with my readers. Thank you for your e-mail messages, Facebook notes, and letters.
Thank you most of all to God—thank you for giving me the inspiration and the words to glorify you. I’m grateful and humbled you’ve chosen this path for me.