That was something else that Maggie wanted, of course. A relationship that was as perfect a match as her parents’ one was. The ‘love at first sight’ whirlwind romance like the one they’d told her about so many times and starting a life together that would get better and better as they got older. It wasn’t that Maggie hadn’t found the ‘love at first sight’ type of thing, it was just that any whirlwind romance eventually crashed and burned and she’d been let down so many times that, for the moment at least, she was giving up.
That desire for a family of her own had never vanished, though. In the last moments before sleep claimed Maggie, she could feel the intensity of that longing that morphed from a pram full of beloved toys to the feeling of holding a real, live baby in her arms, as she’d done today.
* * *
There was something a bit weird happening.
Joe couldn’t put his finger on it but, as the day wore on, he wondered if it was because Maggie seemed even bouncier than normal. More enthusiastic. More...smiley...
Several times, he caught her opening her mouth as if she was about to say something and then snapping it shut and throwing herself into whatever task she was doing on their downtime, like reading a journal article or washing up some dishes. It wasn’t until they were in the locker room, when their shift had finished, that Joe finally gave up. The way Maggie was looking at him felt like the heat of a laser in the middle of his back as he pulled what he needed from his locker.
He turned his head. ‘You’ve been staring at me all day. What’s going on?’
‘Sorry...’ Maggie smiled brightly at him. ‘There’s something I wanted to ask you, that’s all. I was...um...waiting for the best moment.’
‘Now’s good.’ Joe smiled back. If Maggie wanted a favour, then he was her man. Always. ‘Shoot.’
‘Um...’ She was fishing in her locker, putting things into a shoulder bag. Her voice sounded as if she was trying hard to keep it casual. ‘It’s about what you said. Yesterday. When I was talking about wanting a baby?’
‘What did I say?’ Joe tried to think back. ‘Oh...you mean about sperm banks?’
‘No...’ Maggie’s hands stilled. ‘About asking a friend.’
‘Oh...’ He liked that she’d liked his idea. It was always great to find a solution to a mate’s problem. ‘Glad I could help.’ He unhooked his jacket from the back of his locker. ‘So who’s the lucky guy, then?’ He raised an eyebrow in Maggie’s direction when she didn’t answer. ‘Your potential baby daddy? Is it Jack?’
‘Jack’s my flatmate. How awkward would that be?’
‘Don?’
‘Shh...’ Maggie threw a glance over her shoulder, checking that they were still alone in the locker room. Her cheeks had reddened even at the idea of their boss being involved.
‘Who, then?’
He could see the way Maggie swallowed hard, as if what she was about to say was terribly important. He could see how wide her eyes were as well. Shining with something that looked very like hope. The hairs on the back of his neck prickled as they rose.
‘You, Joe,’ she whispered. ‘You’re the person I’d choose out of everybody I’ve ever known.’
He should have seen it coming, perhaps, but he hadn’t and it hit him like a steam train. The blast of remembering what it was like to be a child that hadn’t been wanted. The absolute determination to never, ever be on the other side of that coin—the father who hadn’t wanted that child.
Joe could feel the colour draining out of his face. He could see the reflection of his own horror in Maggie’s eyes. She knew she’d made a terrible mistake but she had no idea how to go about fixing it. He could solve this problem. Just make a joke and brush it off.
Except he couldn’t. The words had been said and couldn’t be unsaid and they had touched such a very deep chord within him. The idea of him casually—deliberately—fathering a child was hanging in the air between them. Totally abhorrent. Totally unacceptable. Joe couldn’t begin to find any words to let Maggie know just how shocked he was but maybe he didn’t need to. She was looking rather pale herself.
Embarrassed. Mortified, even.
For once, Joe had no inclination to make her feel any better. He shook his head, slammed his locker door shut and was walking out as if it was simply an ordinary end to their run of days working together.
‘See ya,’ he muttered, without meeting her gaze. ‘Enjoy your days off.’
CHAPTER TWO
‘WOW...CHECK YOU OUT, Maggie. You’re wearing a dress...’
‘Hi, Jack... Yeah, I know... I’m just trying to decide if I want to keep it.’
Maggie had spent half her afternoon off today shopping for something suitable to wear to a wedding but it felt very odd having all this loose fabric brushing against her lower legs. Just how long had it been since she’d tapped into her feminine side and worn a dress instead of her uniform or jeans or the leather pants she wore for protection when she rode her beloved Harley-Davidson sportster motorbike with its sky-blue fuel tank and mudguards?
She turned back to where their other flatmate, Laura, was sitting on the couch, Harrison snuggled up beside her. They were both staring at her thoughtfully so she did a bit of a twirl, one way and then the other. That was enough to make her wonder how long it had been since she’d been anywhere near a dance floor. At least a year, she decided. About when her last relationship had faded into oblivion after a few months had made it obvious it should never have got going in the first place. That ‘love at first sight’ wasn’t to be trusted. Maggie stifled a sigh.
‘So...what do you think?’
‘It’s perfect,’ Laura pronounced. ‘That blue is exactly the same colour as your eyes and I love the little daisy print. Very summery.’ She ruffled her son’s hair. ‘What do you think, Harry? Doesn’t Maggie look pretty? Isn’t it fun that we’re all going to get dressed up for the wedding tomorrow?’
Harry wrinkled his nose. ‘I don’t want to get dressed up.’
‘You don’t have to get really dressed up. It’s not a fancy wedding where you might have to wear a suit, but you have got an important job to do. You get to carry the rings.’
‘I’d get dressed up,’ Jack told him, ‘if I could go. I’d wear my very best jeans and a shirt.’
‘A T-shirt?’
‘No, a real shirt. With buttons. Maybe even a tie.’
‘Why can’t you go?’
‘I wish I could but I have to work, buddy. Someone has to be ready to go up in a helicopter or off on a bike and look after the people who get sick or injured.’
And Jack probably hadn’t even tried to juggle his roster to take time off. He’d only recently succeeded in winning one of the hotly contested paramedic jobs on the rescue base and his excitement was still palpable.
‘Who were you crewed with today?’ Laura asked. ‘I didn’t see anyone from Aratika come into Emergency during my shift.’
‘It was a really quiet day. Joe and I got a bit bored, to be honest. And we ate far too many of Shirley’s cookies. I’m meeting him at the gym as soon as I’ve collected my gear to try and burn some that sugar load off.’
‘How come Joe was working?’ Maggie asked. ‘He’s on the same roster as me.’
‘He was covering for Adam, who called in sick. Food poisoning or some kind of gastro bug. I hope he’s back on deck tomorrow. Joe said he could come in again but he wouldn’t want to miss the wedding.’
‘No...’ But Maggie could hear the doubtful note in her own voice.
Maybe Joe had a reason that meant he wouldn’t be too upset to miss the wedding. Or rather, to miss having to spend any time with Maggie.
She hadn’t seen him since the last shift they had worked together. Since that awful moment when she’d made the cringeworthy mistake of telling him that she wanted him to father a baby for her.
‘I reckon if
Cooper had decided to have a best man, it would have been Joe,’ Jack added.
‘Yes,’ Laura agreed. ‘And then Maggie would have been a bridesmaid for Fizz.’
Thank goodness their friends weren’t going down such a traditional format for their wedding. How awkward could that have been, with everyone they worked with watching them? Someone would have picked up on the odd vibe between the best man and the bridesmaid and maybe asked what the problem was, which would have only ramped up this odd tension.
There hadn’t been any chance to try and convince Joe that the notion of him being a sperm donor had only been a joke because the night shift crew had been outside chatting to their pilot as Maggie had followed behind Joe, who had got into his car and simply driven past, with a casual wave. Maggie had texted him later with what seemed a slightly awkward attempt to tell him he had nothing to worry about but the response had been a terse ‘Forget about it, I already have’, which didn’t quite ring true.
It was probably unfortunate that their days off had meant they hadn’t had to work together the following day. It would have been so much easier to brush off and genuinely forget about it if they hadn’t both had a couple of days to think about it.
Because Maggie was quite sure that Joe would have been thinking about it, even if it wasn’t filling his mind to quite the same extent as it was hers. Who wouldn’t have to give it some thought, when confronted by something you would never have expected your friend to come out with? Something that had clearly shocked him. She couldn’t text him again, either, because that would be making it into a bigger thing than it actually was. All they needed was to be in the same space, an opportunity to make a joke about it and then they could go back to the way things had always been—a friendship that made it possible to work and socialise together and to always feel perfectly safe.
‘Anyway...’ Maggie pasted a bright smile on her face. ‘Even though I’m not a bridesmaid, I think I will wear a dress. This dress.’
‘Good choice.’ Laura encouraged Harrison to slide off the couch but kept hold of his hand as she got up. ‘Want to help Mummy decide what she’s going to wear?’
‘I’m tired...’ Harrison was climbing back onto the couch. ‘Can I watch TV?’
‘I’ll help Mummy choose,’ Maggie offered. ‘Let’s both go girly with pretty dresses. How often do we get the chance to do that?’
‘Almost never,’ Laura said. She was smiling now, too. ‘It’s going to be a great day,’ she added. ‘I can’t wait.’
Maggie had to stop herself crossing her fingers, the way she used to when she was a kid and believed that the gesture excused you if you were about to tell an outright lie.
‘Me, too.’
* * *
‘You’re a brave man, Cooper Sinclair.’
‘Why is that, Joe?’ His colleague was grinning. ‘Because I’m taking the plunge and getting married?’
‘Nah... You’re on a hilltop in famously windy Wellington and you’re wearing a skirt.’
It was more than a hilltop. They were actually standing on the top of a cliff, with a spectacular view of the sea and islands through the archway that would frame the ceremony due to begin shortly. And, yes, while it was a gloriously sunny day, the currents of air were enough to be stirring the hemline of the kilt Cooper was wearing.
Cooper snorted. ‘What else would a Scotsman wear for the happiest day of his life?’ He wasn’t looking at Joe, however. His gaze was fixed on the Castle Cliff resort buildings and he obviously couldn’t wait to catch the first glimpse of his bride coming to meet him. He glanced at his watch then—a nervous gesture that was completely out of character.
‘It’s time...’
‘I’d better find a seat, then.’ Joe left his friend standing alone and headed for the far side of the last row of white seats that had been arranged in a semi-circle facing the archway. He wasn’t at all bothered that the first rows were already full of settled guests. He was happy to be attending this celebration but he didn’t want to be too close to the action. Weddings made him a little nervous, too. Didn’t Cooper and Fizz realise what a huge risk they were taking? How high the chances were that it wasn’t going to turn out to be happy-ever-after? And they had decided to get married because there was a baby on the way. Not that he was going to say anything but it felt a bit close to a death knell to Joe.
Just before he turned to sit down, he noticed another kilt-clad figure appear on an upper balcony of the resort building, a set of bagpipes cradled in his arms. At the same time, three figures were hurrying down the steps from the lower veranda, two of them wearing dresses. The other was a small boy and Joe knew that it must be Laura’s son, Harrison, who was apparently in charge of the wedding rings. Laura had to be watching over her son, as she always did, and that meant that the other woman was most likely her flatmate and close friend. He didn’t really need the glimpse of sunlight catching blonde curls to light them up like a halo to confirm his guess.
Maggie...
Joe sat down with a thump and fixed his gaze on the scene ahead of him, where the celebrant had joined Cooper.
The level of discomfort Joe was aware of now was far greater than anything weddings normally engendered. He hadn’t seen Maggie for days. Hadn’t wanted to see her after that shocking conversation at the end of their last shift together, and as the time apart was increasing, so was the level of...what...awkwardness? Certainly tension, anyway.
It wasn’t something he’d ever been aware of with Maggie. She was, in fact, probably the only woman he ever felt completely at ease with. Other than Shirley, of course, but the self-appointed housekeeper of the Aratika Rescue Base was a mother figure for everyone there, with zero risk of her wanting anything inappropriate from her relationship with Joe. He’d thought his friendship with Maggie was just as sacrosanct. That they were real friends who trusted each other and that there was no threat of the usual sexual tension that inevitably seemed to develop when he tried to be simply friends with a woman.
The other seats in this back row were filling up quickly from the aisle side as people realised the ceremony was about to start. Joe noticed Don, the base manager, take a seat and then Tom, one of the emergency department consultants at the Royal, took the next seat, leaving only two spaces. Tom was becoming more involved with the base, having taken over the shifts Fizz had had to relinquish when she’d discovered she was pregnant. Laura went past Joe on the other side, holding Harrison’s hand, leading him to where a seat had been saved in the front row, and then there was a swish of blue fabric right in front of Joe.
‘Excuse me.’
He pulled his feet closer as Maggie edged past his knees. Seeing Laura and Harrison had been a reminder of the example of successful single parenthood that Maggie was inspired by and that was yet another sharp reminder of the awkwardness that now lay between them. The fact that she was choosing to sit beside him came as something of a relief. Perhaps they could get past what was threatening to be an elephant in the room when they next had the opportunity to talk to each other, let alone the next time they had to work together.
Except that a quick glance showed that the empty seats beside Joe were the only ones available and Maggie chose the one next to Tom, leaving an empty seat between herself and Joe. She flicked him a quick smile of greeting but then turned to say hello to Tom and the slightly nervous way she had avoided more than a split second of eye contact gave Joe an odd jolt of something that he couldn’t define but which he definitely didn’t like.
Wow...how could a simple, white chair that wasn’t even solid suddenly feel like an impenetrable barrier?
The mournful wail of the bagpipe music starting in the background only added to the sensation that something had changed. Or been lost? Something potentially huge?
Like everyone else, Joe turned his head to watch Fizz come out onto the veranda and then walk down the steps towards the central aisle t
hat led to the archway where Cooper was waiting. It was no surprise that she wasn’t wearing a white dress. Joe knew that she’d been there and done that once already and that her first husband had been tragically killed in an accident on their honeymoon. Maybe it wasn’t even surprising that she’d chosen to wear a bright red dress because that was Fizz all over, wasn’t it? Daring as well as confident enough to pull off something so different. Her long, dark hair was hanging loose down her back and she looked gorgeous, Joe decided.
And so happy...
No wonder there was a collective sound like people were catching their breath around him. He thought he heard a happy sigh coming from Maggie, too.
Was she a believer as well? If she was, why hadn’t she already conducted a successful husband hunt? She could have done it years ago and then she wouldn’t have had to worry about the clock running out on her reproductive years. She wouldn’t have had to even think about alternative routes to motherhood and she wouldn’t have tried to involve him when bringing a child into the world was, without doubt, the last thing he would ever contemplate doing.
The celebrant welcomed everybody as the wail of the bagpipes finally faded.
‘You have all been invited to attend today,’ she told the gathering, ‘because you are the family, friends and colleagues of Cooper and Fizz and they want you to witness their commitment to each other and share the joy of that promise.’
Joe sucked in a deep breath. He wasn’t feeling particularly joyful right now. It was more than awkwardness filling that space between him and Maggie.
He was angry, that’s what it was.
Or maybe it was more that he was sad. He let out that breath in a long sigh. He knew that Maggie had heard that sigh because he could feel the sideways glance he received. Turning his head just a fraction, he could catch a reflection of what he was feeling in her own eyes.
Pregnant with Her Best Friend's Baby Page 3