by Dianne Drake
“Tell me, Erin.” This time his voice was purposely firm. “Just tell me.”
She looked up at the ceiling, hoping the tears that so wanted to spring to her eyes would roll back in. Then she took a deep breath. “I call you Coulson because it won’t hurt so much when you leave me. Because if I call you anything other than Coulson, I’m vulnerable to something I can’t control, and I’m never going to be vulnerable that way again. I won’t let it happen.”
“Why, Erin?” he asked, his voice gentle.
“Because trusting someone, and being vulnerable to them, hurt me worse than the cancer ever could have. Because in the moments when I didn’t know if I was going to live or die, the pain of my broken heart was worse than anything the doctors were putting me through. I’ve had all the love in the world from the most wonderful person, more than most people ever get, but it doesn’t quite heal me. So if I don’t.” She batted at the tears finally breaking loose. “If I don’t make myself vulnerable, then …”
“Then nobody breaks Erin’s heart again.”
She nodded.
“But you trust your father, and you certainly have a relationship with him where you’re nothing but vulnerable.”
“Because he chose me. He knew … everything. Knew that I might die. Knew that I could cost him so much money with my care. Yet he chose me anyway. No one else ever did. Not my birth parents, not any of my friends … they all ran away from me. But my father always ran toward me because he chose me.”
“Does he know that you never quite healed?”
She shook her head. “I’d never hurt him.”
“Or maybe you’re afraid he’d run away, too, if he knew? That he’d be disappointed in you somehow for still having that little bit of fear inside you that he might just walk away and, because of that, he would?”
Her bottom lip trembled. Tears poured down her face, but she didn’t speak. Couldn’t. There were no more words, not in her head, not in her heart. Not when someone knew her soul the way Coulson did. Which made her utterly vulnerable to him in every way. There was nothing more to hide, no other feelings to have.
“What they did to you was a horrible thing, Erin. I don’t even know what to say about that. But let me ask you one thing. You love Tadeo, that goes without saying. And he’s a sick little boy, with a very difficult future ahead of him. If I weren’t here to take him and all he had was you, would you leave him? For whatever reason, take your pick, would you walk away from him? ”
Her eyes flew open, registering total shock. “Of course I wouldn’t. If I were lucky enough to have that little boy as my son I’d move heaven and earth to keep him.”
“Like your father did for you. Like father, like daughter, Erin. It’s not in the blood, it’s in the love. In the heart. And he did move heaven and earth.”
“Sometimes I wonder why,” she said, sniffling. Finally, he pulled her into his arms and tilted her face up. “The same question I’ve been asking myself for the past few days, but the answer was always there. I was just trying not to see it.” “What question?” “What if I choose you, too, Erin?” “But you didn’t. You chose to take Tadeo and leave.” “In my own moment of vulnerability, I think. Trying to avoid getting hurt. But that’s the thing about a bad choice. Once you know it’s bad, it’s easy to change.” “You’re staying?”
“I’m choosing. You. Tadeo. Your father and even Mrs Meecham. Miss Francelle Henry. Davion and Trinique. Breeon, Leron and Algernon Adam Edward. This life. That awful blue building …”
“Blue is good,” she said. “It’s a color of hope.” “Would you choose me, Erin, if I don’t change my mind about the color? ”
“I would choose you, Adam. No matter what kind of boring colors you like, I would choose you.”
“Red is nice,” he said, running his fingers through her hair. “It’s my new favorite color. Although I’ll admit I’m suddenly not as fond of plain old white as I used to be.” He pulled the gauzy white sheet off her and dropped it on the floor beside the bed, at the same time arching wicked eyebrows at her. “Nope, don’t like it at all.”
Ten months later
“See what I can do?” Tadeo yelled at his admiring public. his soon-to-be mother, father, grandfather and his adopted aunt, Mrs Meecham, not to mention Miss Francelle Henry, who’d moved into one of the guest cottages one day several months ago and had never moved out. She’d already become a vital part of the community, working at the hospital every day, playing with the children, taking care of Tadeo.
“What can you do?” Erin called back to him, as the rest of this wonderful family sat at the picnic table, enjoying the cool of the afternoon as a few friends prepared the beach for the festivities. It was hard to believe it was here, but they’d decided to wait until Tadeo was well on his way to full recovery. So this day marked three special events: Tadeo’s official release as a patient from the Algernon Glover Hospital; her wedding; and the signing of Tadeo’s adoption papers. In another hour she’d be Adam’s wife and shortly after that Tadeo’s mother. And in such a casual way … the way it should be. A stroll to the beach with her family, joined by a few close friends, then exchanging vows at sunset.
“This!” In the blink of an eye Tadeo popped a wheelie in his wheelchair.
Erin gasped, of course, while Adam laughed. Algernon, who still had sight but not so much these days, was the one who jumped up and shouted, “That’s my grandson! I taught him how to do that.” He headed straight for Tadeo to give him the old high-five.
“They’re incorrigible,” Erin said, wondering if there was a better word to describe contentment. So far, in all these months, she hadn’t been able to think of one.
“It’s only going to get worse,” Adam whispered in her ear. “When your father finds out about the next one on the way, there’s going to be no stopping him.”
“I’ve got a while before it shows, so let’s just keep our secret a little longer.” She gazed out at her dad, who was heading off toward the beach with Tadeo … for the big surprise before the wedding. She had an idea her dad already knew that he was going to be a grandfather again, maybe that’s why the blindness hadn’t yet overtaken him. Who knew? Or maybe his happiness and newfound purpose, including Tadeo, had something to do with it. Whatever the case, she suspected he was giving Adam and her time to enjoy the wonderful feeling between themselves of becoming parents for the second time.
As for Tadeo, he wasn’t being quite so patient. She’d wanted to keep the surprise a surprise a while longer, maybe give Adam his wedding gift in a more private moment, but Tadeo had insisted it had to be now. He wanted a big public presentation, and there was no way she could refuse him, as he’d been making plans for days.
“Look, I think I’ll go and walk through the hospital before I come down to the beach, see if anybody needs anything before we head off on our honeymoon.”
“Honeymoon? What honeymoon?”
“Well, I’ve been thinking about that. I know this nice little cabana on the other side of your beach. Might have stocked it with a bottle of champagne … the non-alcoholic kind.”
“Ooh, tempt me more, Dr Coulson.”
“And I have this awesome stethoscope. Thought maybe we could practice listening to each other’s hearts.”
“And …?”
“Yam bammys. Had Kevan make them fresh just a little while ago.”
“You had me with the yam bammys, Doctor. But let’s skip the first part, where you go to the hospital. Tadeo’s waiting on the beach, not very being patient about it, and the hospital is doing just fine without us.” Better than fine. The Algernon Hospital, as people were calling it, was fully functional, and she had so many visiting volunteer doctors she almost felt lazy at times. It was good and she already had plans to expand, thanks to a generous donation from Miss Henry. More than that, her father had actually chosen Adam’s clinic over the hospital as far as where he wanted to practice medicine, maybe because the small setting made him feel more confident. What
ever the case, with her dad’s help, Adam was in mid-plan to build a small general hospital himself. All good, again.
But best of all was Tadeo. As soon as she and Adam were married, they would sign the adoption papers for Tadeo. His heart operations were behind him now, his burns had healed beautifully, and all he had to do was rest and recover and adjust to being part of a real family. The resting part was going to be tough, though, because her dad loved having a grandson. They were best friends, inseparable, and as she’d just witnessed with the wheelchair, her dad had a few tricks up his sleeve for Tadeo.
Better than good. Perfect. A life fulfilled, finally. She rubbed her still-flat belly. Better than perfect. More than fulfilled.
“Well, if Tadeo’s involved in the surprise, that rules out several things that come to mind,” Adam said.
“Hold that thought, Doctor. For after the bammys.”
“Well, they look like a wild bunch.” He pointed to the parade of family and friends all headed for the beach. “I have a feeling the bammys are going to be very cold by the time this crowd gets through partying.”
“Then we party with them. And I did promise Miss Henry that you’d save the second dance for her.”
“And our honeymoon …”
“Will wait a few hours.” She stood on tiptoe and brushed a quick kiss to his lips. “And it’s not like we haven’t had a few honeymoons already.” She took his hand and held it to her belly. “Very successful ones.”
Adam chuckled. “I feel a girl in there. Red hair, feisty, stubborn.”
“Is that a guess, or some kind of divining talent?”
“A dream. They do come true, Red.”
“Yes, they do, don’t they, Coulson?” OK, so he did still call her Red sometimes, and sometimes she still called him Coulson. But they knew it was only habit, and part of her didn’t want to let go of the habit because that would be like letting go of part of their past. Still, they never ever called each other Red or Coulson behind closed doors. “So, what if she doesn’t have red hair?”
“What color could it be?” he asked, as they strolled toward the beach, toward the beginning of so many wonderful things.
“Could be blue.” In the end, the hospital had stayed blue, and while her husband had yet to admit a fondness for it, he wasn’t quite so vocal against it either.
“Not blue!” he teased. “Anything but blue.”
“Well, you’d better change that attitude, because I’ve got some blue for you.” As they stepped out from a clump of trees, everyone was standing in a line. Serek and Alvinnia. Tyjon, Ennis and Willeen Clarke. Davion and Trinique. The whole Edward family. Miss Francelle Henry. Mrs Meecham. Her father. Tadeo … her life, her family. They were pointing to the most hideously colored boat. Not one, not two, not even three shades of blue, but five, all in some stage of peeling.
“It’s a.” Adam choked.
“A wooden 1951 Lyman Islander. I know it’s not the one your grandfather gave you, but it’s new memories, Adam. You and Tadeo, and our second child … the one with the blue hair. You’ll have brand-new memories, and they’ll be good. I promise you, they’ll be good, too.”
“I don’t know what to say,” he choked out, standing there, holding on to his wife, looking at everything he had in his life. “I don’t know what to say.”
“That you love blue? Because according to my renovation estimation, Stella II is probably going to be blue until your second grandchild at least.”
“Not Stella II,” he said, pulling her into his arms. “Stella Blue, and I love blue. But not as much as I love Red.”
They kissed, of course, in front of a yelling, applauding audience. “So, Tadeo,” Algernon said, as Erin and Adam finally pulled away from each other and headed toward the boat, where they would exchange their marriage vows. “Any bets? Are you going to get a baby brother or sister?”
Tadeo looked at his parents, and smiled over the worst-kept secret ever. “Probably both.”
All the characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author, and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all the incidents are pure invention.
All Rights Reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Enterprises II BV/S.à.r.l. The text of this publication or any part thereof may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, storage in an information retrieval system, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.
This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise circulated without the prior consent of the publisher in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
® and TM are trademarks owned and used by the trademark owner and/or its licensee. Trademarks marked with ® are registered with the United Kingdom Patent Office and/or the Office for Harmonisation in the Internal Market and in other countries.
First published in Great Britain 2011
Harlequin Mills & Boon Limited,
Eton House, 18-24 Paradise Road, Richmond, Surrey TW9 1SR
© Dianne Despain 2011
ISBN: 978-1-408-92446-4
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Cover
Excerpt
About the Author
Title Page
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Copyright