by Alicia Rades
My first serve slammed into the net, and when I tried bumping the ball over on the third hit, the net caught it again. To avoid this the next time, I sent the ball to the other side of the court with a set, but one of the girls on the opposing team spiked it. The ball soared past me before I could process what was going on. A whistle blew, and I knew Coach was rotating me out before she stood from the bench. I slumped over to the boundary line and gave Jenna a high-five as she took my spot.
“What’s up, Crystal?” Coach Amy asked as I returned to the bench. “You’re not at the top of your game like normal.”
“Yeah, maybe I should just sit this one out.”
And I did. Coach didn’t put me back in for the second or third set, either. I was so out of it that I hadn’t noticed when the game was over. When I looked up, all I saw were the disappointed looks on my teammate’s faces. I didn’t have to look at the scoreboard to know we lost our first match of the season. My shoulders slumped in disappointment to meet the expressions of my teammates.
Coach called us together before we left the court. “I don’t want you girls to get too disappointed over this. You’ve done great this season. You played well tonight, but we can do better next week. Let’s keep this as our only loss this year, okay? Team Hornets on one, two, three.”
I kept to myself on the bleachers as the Varsity team warmed up. Emma was throwing serves over the net with them, and Derek was catching balls, so I didn’t have my best friends to talk to. My eyes fixed on the girls warming up, but I didn’t fully process the picture until I saw a blonde ponytail swishing around on our side of the net.
I know that ponytail. It shouldn’t be there.
As the girl with the ponytail turned, her brown eyes locked on mine. The other players were moving so fast that in an instant, the girl with the blonde ponytail disappeared.
I felt woozy as a shiver ran down my spine. My heart was beating so hard as if it might escape from my chest, and for a few moments, the sounds in the room ceased to exist. I bent my head down and rested my elbows on my knees, taking in slow, controlled breaths.
Finally, I regained my composure. The sounds of the gymnasium began to come back to life. I looked around uselessly, thinking for a moment that I would find an explanation somewhere in the gym.
But there was nothing. In that moment, I knew I had seen Olivia Owen for the second time that day.
No, I rationalized. I didn’t see her. I imagined her. I watched the girls more closely and wondered if I mistook one of the other team members for Olivia, but no one looked remotely like her. Once my heart beat settled, I shook off the bogus idea. Maybe I am going crazy, I thought to myself.
Time flew by, and before I knew it, our side of the gym erupted into cheers for the Varsity’s win.
The bus ride home wasn’t exciting since most of the people fell asleep. After working on a few homework problems under the light of my cell phone, I nodded off with them. When we arrived at the school, I deposited my equipment in my gym locker and changed back into my normal clothes.
“See you girls tomorrow,” Derek promised when we came out of the locker room.
“Bye, Derek,” Emma and I said together. Emma smiled back at him, and I couldn’t help but notice that she batted her eyes a bit when she did it. We walked most of the way home together but took our separate ways at our normal corner. I wondered briefly if I should tell Emma I was getting sick, but I didn’t want to worry her.
“See you tomorrow morning,” Emma waved. “And don’t be late.”
“I won’t. I promise.” I actually cracked a smile at that.
When I walked through the door, the smell of brownies hit my nose. I dropped my backpack instantly and raced into the kitchen. There on the counter sat a scrumptious-looking pan of freshly baked brownies. Well, they looked good if you could get past the crusty edges, which I was okay with at the moment. Without bothering to say hello to my mother, I dug in. Sweet, delicious chocolate after a day so sour felt great.
“Hungry?” my mom teased.
She was more like a friend to me than a mother.
“I had an awful day. Back off.” I narrowed my eyes at her, a warning that I might bite her hand off if she touched my brownies. It was a lighthearted glare, and she knew it. Even I couldn’t hide the smile twitching at the sides of my mouth.
“How did the game go?”
“We lost.”
I felt bad that my mom couldn’t be there for my games, but she had a business to run, and with Halloween just around the corner, it was the busiest time of the year for her. Mom owned a small shop on Main Street called Divination that specialized in everything Halloween, from costumes and decorations to candy and crystal balls. She and her two friends, Sophie and Diane, kept the business going by selling homemade candy and supernatural products like tarot cards throughout the year.
My mother let out a long yawn. “Well, I’m going to bed. I just wanted to make sure you made it home safe. And, you know, I had to make you brownies. I had a feeling you’d need them tonight.”
My mom was always so considerate and somehow knew exactly what I needed when I needed it. Right now, double chocolate brownies were my solace.
“Mom,” I said. “Can I stay over at Emma’s tomorrow night after practice?” I knew I didn’t have to ask, but I did anyway to be courteous.
“Sure.”
Once my mom left the kitchen and I felt like I’d eaten enough brownies, I covered the pan and went to get ready for bed. I flipped on the light in the bathroom and brushed my teeth. When I sat on the toilet, I thought I was imagining things.
Nope. My underwear was clearly stained. I had finally started my period!
So that’s what my bad mood was all about, I thought. If that’s what PMS is, I’m not sure I want to be a woman anymore, I joked with myself.
I searched under the sink for something to help me with my issue and found a half-empty package of pads. Soon afterwards, I crawled into bed and fell asleep.
4
I woke with a start. My legs were tangled around my sheets, my whole body was wet with sweat, and my heart was pounding hard against my chest. I knew I had woken from a nightmare, but the details of the dream now eluded me as I struggled to remember what had terrified me.
I laid in bed for several long minutes until an image of my nightmare resurfaced in my mind. I remembered the sound of a car door shutting. I recalled the way the interior light lit up my face in the side mirror. No, not my face. It was the face of a young girl—maybe six—with brown hair and big chocolate eyes full of terror. As quick as I saw the image in my mind, it was gone.
When I finally calmed down, I made sure to fully dress before leaving my room because I could smell eggs and bacon. That only meant one thing: Teddy was here. The first time my mom’s boyfriend came over in the morning to make breakfast for us, I made the mistake of coming out of my bedroom in just a t-shirt and undies. I really should have made the connection that there wasn’t the smell of charred breakfast in the air, which meant someone other than my mother was cooking. Needless to say, it was a bit embarrassing.
When I entered the kitchen, I gave Teddy a hug. I was glad he was cooking since my mother was known to burn food and I had the tendency to over salt everything. I was fine with just a bagel, but I could take bacon and eggs any day.
Teddy and I got along well. Mom had been dating him for a few years, but he hadn’t filled that hole in my chest where my father belonged. I was sure he never would, but I still liked him.
An image of the crash replayed in my head as I thought about my father. It wasn’t a memory of the real car crash since I wasn’t there, but rather a memory of a dream I had before it happened. It was strange that I dreamt that my father died in a car accident and then he did. Young children do have wild imaginations.
“Yum,” I smacked my lips. “Bacon and eggs.”
I reached into the cupboard and pulled out three plates and set them on the table.
“Almo
st ready, Kiddo.”
Normally I would hate if people called me kiddo, but I really didn’t mind when Teddy did as long as he let me to call him Teddy Bear whenever I wanted as a way to embarrass him. He didn’t mind, even when he brought me to the police station once to show me around and I’d called him Teddy Bear in front of his coworkers. They just laughed, but he managed to laugh along, too.
“Mom!” I shouted down the hall. “Breakfast.”
Teddy and I took our spots around the table. He didn’t live with us, but he might as well have since he spent most of his time here when he wasn’t at work. My mother entered the room. The way Teddy gazed at her in awe told me he really did love her. In a flash, an image of a diamond ring popped into my mind, but it was gone before I could process it. I hear wedding bells, I thought silently.
“So how’s everything going with planning for the festival?” Teddy asked my mother.
I was intrigued to know this, too, so I listened carefully.
“Most of our responsibilities are set up, but there’s another meeting before the festival, and we still have to get a few things together for our booths.”
My mom was talking about the booth she and her business partners set up at the Peyton Springs Halloween Festival every year. Since they’re the experts in town on Halloween, they graciously volunteered. Plus, it was really good for business promotion.
Mom ran a fortune telling booth and dressed up as a gypsy every year. She knew all about the superstitions with tarot card readings and crystal balls, but it was, of course, all just for fun. A lot of people raved about how accurate she was, but that was just because she was so involved in the community that she knew everything about everyone. It was actually kind of funny to see people talk about how great she was when she was really just faking it, but I guess people wanted to believe in that kind of stuff around Halloween.
Sophie and Diane helped out with other things at the community festival like the haunted trail, carnival games, and other fun things.
“We have some really awesome ideas this year, and the haunted trail is going to be better than ever before,” my mother continued. “There are lots of people willing to help out, and Sheryl and Tammy are really doing a lot to make this year a blast.”
Sheryl Stratton and Tammy Owen were the co-heads of the festival, but they were always begging my mom and her friends for help, which I found odd. My mom should have just taken over the festival. But then again, I thought, maybe Tammy needs it this year to help her get past this difficult time. After all, we had just passed the anniversary of her daughter’s death, which left me feeling kind of bad for her. I applauded her for how she was holding together and getting so much done with the festival.
“I’ll try to be there,” Teddy said, “but I can’t make any promises. We’ve had a lot of work at the station lately.”
I crunched into my bacon. It was like heaven in my mouth. I moaned, causing my mom and Teddy to stare at me. “What?” I said innocently. “It’s good.”
The kitchen went silent again when we dug into our food. Teddy was the one to break the silence. “I was wondering if you girls are busy tomorrow night.”
My mom and I exchanged a glance. “No,” she answered. “What did you have in mind?”
Teddy shrugged, but it didn’t feel like honest nonchalance to me. He seemed nervous about something. “I just wanted to take you girls out. We haven’t gone out in a while.”
“Is it a special occasion?” I asked.
“No, I just thought it would be fun.”
My mom looked at me again and nodded lightly. “Sounds great.”
I left the house in a much better mood than the day before and made it to the corner the same time Emma approached. “Looking better,” she complimented.
“Feeling better,” I agreed.
As we strolled to school, I was reminded of the scene we walked into yesterday with the fundraiser. I thought about Olivia briefly and wondered again if I should tell Emma that I thought I saw her in the hallway. I decided not to. It would just come across sounding as if I was crazy. When I told people in my kindergarten class that I had a friend named Eva, who apparently no one else could see or talk to, my classmates called me crazy. All it took was me telling Eva to go away before I made friends with Emma and passed the phase of imaginary friends. Maybe I could tell Olivia to go away and her face wouldn’t appear in my mind. That is, if I ever see her again, and since I’m not crazy, I told myself, I don’t believe that I will. I didn’t say anything to Emma.
I had a much more successful day at practice, killing my serves and reacting quickly.
When practice ended, I was about ready to eat a horse. I mentioned this to Emma. “Ugh, I want food now, but I still have to go home and get my stuff for overnight.”
“Why don’t you go get your stuff and I’ll go home and start the pizza?” she offered. “It should be ready when you get there.”
“Deal,” I agreed.
Emma and I walked to our corner. In our privacy, I again considered telling her about what happened to me. I still wasn’t sure about talking about Olivia. But I should at least tell Emma about getting my period, right? I thought. Perhaps that’s something best saved for girl talk tonight, or maybe that’s too private to mention. I tried thinking back to when Emma started her period. I couldn’t remember if she’d told me right away or not. The thought of what I should and shouldn’t say still nagged at me as we went our separate ways toward our homes.
When I entered the door to our one-story house, Diane and Sophie sat in our living room.
“Girls night for you, too?” I asked before they had a chance to greet me.
“Yep,” Sophie answered as she bounced up from the couch. She held me at arm’s length. “Is something bothering you, sweetie?”
“Does being a teenage girl count as an excuse?”
Diane laughed from her spot on the couch. “Sure it does.”
Sophie embraced me, which helped soothe me. I wrapped my arms around her small frame. Sophie was about my height with curly brown hair and bright eyes. She always seemed upbeat and happy.
Diane, on the other hand, was completely her opposite, which helped balance them out as best friends. Diane was a bigger woman with long, thick auburn hair that she always piled on top her head. She was less laid back and more serious.
“It’s great to see you guys, but I have to pack up my stuff and head over to Emma’s.”
I went to my room and filled a bag with overnight supplies.
“Do you want a ride, Crystal?” my mom shouted from the kitchen when I reentered the main room.
“No, Mom. I’ll walk.”
She poked her head around the wall separating the two rooms. “Are you sure? It’s getting dark.”
“Mom, it’s only a few blocks. I’ll be fine.”
“Okay, sweetheart. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Bye, Mom. Catch you later, girls.”
It really wasn’t a long walk to Emma’s house, but I found myself second-guessing if I had packed everything I needed. I mentally ticked off all the necessities in my head. As if the cramps in my abdomen were trying to tell me something, I knew immediately what I had forgotten. Even though I was nearly to Emma’s, I turned back toward my house.
5
When I arrived back home, Sophie’s car was gone. They must have gone to the shop to play cards, I thought. I never understood why they went there instead of playing at our kitchen table. There was plenty of room. I didn’t fret on it too much.
I knew it wouldn’t take me long to get what I came for, but when I looked under the sink in the bathroom, I found nothing but an empty package. I must have taken the last pad this morning without realizing it, and I had used the last one in my backpack for volleyball practice.
I stood from the sink wondering what I was going to do. I could ask Emma, but that seemed almost embarrassing, and I didn’t want to just take her pads without asking. Plus, I knew Emma used tampons, and I w
as not ready for that. Weren’t they uncomfortable?
I headed to the hall closet where we kept linens and extra bath supplies, but no matter how far back I dug, there weren’t any feminine products around.
The gas station wasn’t far. Maybe I could go pick some up. That plan seemed like a good idea until I remembered that I didn’t have any cash. Maybe Mom had some stashed away, but I was not the kind of girl who would steal money from her mother’s purse. Besides, my mom probably had her purse with her.
That left only one option. I would have to go to the shop and ask my mom for a few dollars. She’d have to find out eventually that I’d started my period. I might as well tell her sooner than later.
The shop wasn’t far from our house. It was only three blocks down to Main Street and then a few more in the direction toward Emma’s house. The gas station was on the corner. It would hardly take me out of the way.
When I arrived at Divination, I wasn’t entirely sure my mother was there. The lights were turned off, and it seemed quiet. When I cupped my hands around my eyes and pressed my face to the front window’s glass, though, I could see a faint light creeping out from one of the doors in the back.
I headed around to the back of the building and tried the door. Sure enough, it let me in freely as if it was willing me to join their girl’s night. When I stepped into the hallway, I didn’t hear the giggles and commotion that I expected from my mother and her two best friends. Normally they’d be loudly bickering and accusing each other of bluffing while laughing hysterically, yet those weren’t the sounds I heard coming at me down the hall.
Instead, I heard a quiet humming noise that I couldn’t place and smelled the faint scent of a familiar aroma. I guessed it was incense or a candle of some kind, but I didn’t know exactly what scent they’d lit. A sense of eeriness overcame me, and I was suddenly afraid of what I might find. I neared the door with the light shining around the corners. It caught me off guard for a moment.