Fire in Frost

by Alicia Rades

  “I’ve always been careful about telling people since then, but your father still loved me after I told him, and he believed me.” She blinked at me, holding back tears. “And now I hide behind the business and ‘make believe’ fortune telling just so that I can use my talents without telling anyone. It’s so pathetic.” She dropped her head, pulling her self-esteem along with it.

  “No, Mom,” I assured her as I reached out to rub her shoulder. “It’s not pathetic.”

  “What if he doesn’t believe me?” Her voice cracked.

  “This is Teddy we’re talking about. I think he’ll love you no matter what you are. He loves you so much, he’d probably still marry you if he found out you were a dude.”

  My mom giggled and lifted her head to look at me. Her eyes sparked with tears that threatened to spill over her lids. “Maybe I just shouldn’t say anything.”

  “Come on,” I said, patting her shoulder. “I’ll be there to help you, but you have to tell him. No more secrets, okay?” I hoped she knew I meant no more secrets from me, either.

  “Okay.”

  “Now let’s take a few deep breaths. Then we’ll tell Teddy that we’d love him to be part of our family.”

  She smiled and wiped her nose as she let out a nervous giggle. “I’m sorry I dragged you into this. It’s not a burden a mother should put on her child.”

  I continued rubbing her shoulder. “It’s okay, Mom. It really is. I’ll help you, okay? Let’s go tell Teddy your secret.” I paused. “Our secret,” I corrected, which made my mom smile.

  When we came back into the living room, Teddy was waiting patiently on the couch. He perked up as we entered. My mother hesitated, but I nudged her forward.

  “T—Teddy,” she started as she approached him hesitantly, and then she knelt down beside him and took his hands. “The reason I didn’t say yes right away is because I can’t go into a marriage having secrets.”

  They both glanced at me for a brief moment, my mother looking for encouragement and Teddy searching for some indication of what she was talking about.

  “There’s just something about me that you don’t know, and if you can’t accept it, I can’t marry you.”

  Teddy squeezed her hand tighter. I watched from the corner, playing my role as observer. He stared into her eyes dreamily, speaking words of honesty. “Andrea, there’s nothing you can say that would stop me from wanting to marry you.”

  That made my mother’s lips twitch into a small smile. “It has to do with what I believe in. Teddy, what do you believe?”

  He furrowed his brow. “You mean, do I believe in God?”

  “Yes. What do you believe?”

  He shifted. Perhaps the subject never came up because it was uncomfortable for him, too. “Well, I believe anything is possible.”

  I released the breath I didn’t know I was holding. My mother did the same.

  “Teddy,” my mother addressed her soon-to-be fiancé but paused for a brief moment before continuing. “I believe there’s another side out there. I believe there are spirits, family members waiting for us on the other side.”

  He gave her hand another tight squeeze. “Of course there are.”

  “I also believe that we can communicate with these spirits. Sometimes they tell us about the future. Sometimes they show us things we don’t want to see. Sometimes they come to us for help.”

  Teddy nodded. “A lot of people believe in prophecies.”

  “Teddy,” she said slowly. She paused for a moment, taking in a deep breath. “I believe I am one of those people.”

  She finally said it. The tension in my body waiting for this moment let go in quick release. I was proud of her. I only wished that when the time came, I would be able to muster up the same level of courage.

  “One of what people?”

  My mom shifted. “Someone who can communicate with spirits.” She hesitated again. “Teddy, I’m . . . I’m a psychic.”

  Teddy looked from my mother, to me, then back to my mom. “You girls aren’t joking with me, are you? I mean, I know you’re into that supernatural stuff with the shop and the Halloween festival and everything, but you’re serious?”

  The tension in my body returned. He didn’t believe her?

  My mother dropped her head. I knew she was scared of what would happen next, but when she lifted her head to meet his gaze, she simply said, “Yes.”

  The next few moments stretched into an eternity, leaving me far too much time to think about the next possible outcomes. Would he storm off and call us crazy? Would he think we were still playing a joke on him? Would he hate us? The clock above the couch ticked, but it seemed too slow, each second pulsing in my ears, a thumping in my body. What would happen next?

  Teddy stood and pulled my mother up from the floor. He placed a hand on each of her shoulders and looked her directly in the eye. “I can live with that,” he said with a grin. He embraced my mother so hard, I could practically feel the hug in the air. My mother’s face lit up, and she beamed at me. In a quick twitch of her head, she motioned for me to join them. I wrapped my arms around their bodies in a group hug.

  When they finally pulled away from each other, my mother shouted, “Yes, yes, yes!” Teddy pulled the box from his pocket once again, knelt to the ground, and slipped the ring over her finger. “Yes!” she cried again as they embraced once more.

  Once they settled their excitement, we all sat down, the happy couple cuddled on the couch while I sat on the matching chair. We talked about future plans, like when they would get married and where they would have the wedding. I pulled the box Teddy had given me out of my purse and put on the necklace. It was the perfect length.

  I still wasn’t sure if Teddy believed us or not, but he at least seemed to accept that we believed it.

  My mom suddenly pulled away from Teddy and looked him in the eyes. “Move in with us,” she begged.

  He smiled back at her. Without hesitation, he agreed.

  It was nearly 11:30 when I started nodding off. They wanted me to be part of the planning stage, but I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore to process the plans they were making. My mother was going on about her dream cake when I excused myself. When I closed my door and finally had privacy in my room, I pulled out my phone and immediately texted Emma and Derek.

  Mom and Teddy are getting married!!!

  It wasn’t even a minute later when I heard the familiar chimes notifying me of a text.

  OMG!!! You woke me up, but that is AWESOME! Tell them congrats for me!

  I was pleased by Emma’s excitement and a little disappointed that Derek wasn’t awake to send back a text. I felt like I’d been rude to him the other day, and I liked our texting conversations. Even so, I was really tired.

  I wanted to tell Emma more about the big night and how it all went down, but I didn’t know how to tell her without revealing my mother’s, and now my, secret. I figured I’d tell her eventually, but I couldn’t discuss something like this over text message. Plus, I was far too tired to stay awake texting, so I changed into my pajamas and fell asleep instead.

  9

  I woke up to find Mom and Teddy at the breakfast table. I poured myself a bowl of cereal and joined them.

  “Well, I have to take off,” Teddy announced. He rose from the table and carried his dishes to the sink. “I have some paperwork at the station I need to get ready before the week starts. You girls have a good day.”

  My mother smiled up at him. She’d once told me that having a police man as a boyfriend made her feel like she was dating a super hero.

  Teddy’s eyes fell on the owl necklace around my neck as he exited the room.

  “You have a good day, too, Teddy Bear,” I called after him.

  When we were alone with our last few bites of breakfast, my mother spoke. “So, how are you holding up?”

  “Holding up? I think your engagement is awesome. I love Teddy.”

  She set down her fork and looked at me across the table, a seriou
s expression on her face. “That’s not what I meant. I want to know how you’re handling your abilities. Sometimes growing up can bring them out a bit.”

  What? Is she saying that I saw Olivia because I started my period? I had to admit, the events did seem to coincide.

  “I think I’m fine,” I answered. “It’s just all so confusing.”

  “I know,” she agreed, adding a sense of I’ve been there before to her tone. “It’s just that we didn’t get to finish our conversation, and I wanted you to be able to ask questions.”

  I thought about this for a moment. What did I want to know? Did I even want to be psychic, to have this burden over my head, this secret that I would have to hide from everyone, even from the people I loved the most? Did I want to go through what my mother went through? Maybe I could suppress my abilities. I had lived in Peyton Springs my whole life, but what if people found out? What would happen to Divination if the community discovered that the owners were really psychic? Would they drive us away or welcome us with open arms?

  At the same time, I knew there had to be some good to come from it. If I could prevent a tragedy like my father’s death by learning how to recognize my dreams as visions, then that was something I was willing to do.

  As much as it confused me, I wanted to be psychic, to embrace the world beyond this one and to not run and hide from who I was. I met my mother’s gaze again, knowing exactly what I wanted to ask.

  “Will you teach me?”

  Her face lit up.

  ***

  Mom was talking too fast to process anything she was saying.

  “Slow down,” I begged as we neared Divination. Sophie was the one running the shop this weekend, but mom wanted to bring me in and teach me about the art of being psychic.

  It was early on a Sunday morning, so there weren’t a lot of people out shopping yet. When we entered Divination, there were two girls who I recognized from the middle school trying on costumes in the dressing room. Other than that, the shop was void of customers.

  When the bell above the door rang, Sophie looked up from the costumes she was organizing. “What a surprise! Have you come to take over my shift?” she joked.

  “No,” my mom laughed as she gestured to Sophie to follow her toward the back. “Crystal, can you stay here just in case anyone comes in and needs help?”

  I had worked at the shop in the past, but since I started high school, I rarely came in here.

  My mom walked toward the break room while I took a seat on the stool behind the front counter. The shop looked a lot different than I remembered since it was Halloween. Any typically empty spaces on the walls were covered in fake cob webs, and the normal contents of the store were gone, replaced with rows of costumes.

  I glanced around and focused on the girls trying on costumes.

  “Oh my gosh. Look at this amazing Roman costume,” one of them raved from the dressing rooms toward my right.

  “I hate this fairy costume. It’s so itchy,” the other one said. “I’m going to find a different one.” She exited the dressing room and roamed the shop on her own. Clearly she didn’t need my help.

  Seeing as I wasn’t needed, I rose from my chair and slipped around the counter. I ran my fingers across some of the costumes, but none of them stood out to me. I wanted to dress up for Halloween, but I was too old for trick-or-treating. A lot of people dressed up for the community festival. Maybe I could find a costume for that.

  I flipped through the costumes on their hangers but found nothing interesting in that row, so I turned to the row behind me. From out of the corner of my eye, I noticed something sparkling from the next room. The building used to have several shops in it, so there was a wall separating the two main rooms with an open entryway between them. The other room was usually full of things like tarot cards, crystal balls, and magic kits.

  As I peeked over the clothes rack, the sparkling caught my eye again as bright waves of light danced around the other room. What is that? I wondered. I was too intrigued to let it sparkle without investigating.

  The young girls’ laughter near the dressing room faded into nonexistence as I carried myself into the other room. The light glowed in my eyes, pulling me in. It played tunes of blissfulness and tranquility in my head. Without realizing it, I reached out and wrapped my hands around the source of the light. In my hands sat a glowing crystal ball. Its energy reached out to me and sent waves of happiness from my head to my toes. For a moment, it seemed as if the crystal ball and I were the only things in the world.

  “Crystal,” my mother called, pulling me from my trance. The other objects in the room returned to my vision, and the light emanating from the ball faded. All that was left in my hands was a regular crystal ball.

  I turned around to see her standing in the doorway.

  “Mom,” I answered, dazed. “Can I get this?” I held out the crystal ball, showing her my new-found treasure.

  “It’s just a regular crystal ball.” She inched into the room and headed over to the fancier balls they had on display, the ones with elegant bases or unique colors. “You don’t want one of these more decorative ones?”

  “I want this one,” I told her, showing it to her once again as if it were a five-pound diamond. My next words came out as a whisper. “Mom, it speaks to me.” I didn’t think she heard me.

  She waved her hand like she didn’t care. “Sure, get whatever crystal ball you want.”

  I jumped in excitement and snatched up the base from the display. It was a simple stainless steel base with four legs. I exited the room and placed the ball on the front counter so I would remember it when we left. My mother followed behind me with a few products in her hands.

  Sophie had returned and was again organizing costumes on their racks. I eyed her. Sophie was psychic, too? What kind of abilities did she have?

  “What did you talk to Sophie about?” I followed my mother into the break room, which was a small room about the size of my bedroom with hooks and lockers against one wall and a counter against the other. In the middle of the room stood a square table with chairs placed around it.

  “Well, I told her I was getting married. I also told her why we were here.”

  My mother set down the products in her arms on the break table and gestured for me to sit down. The first thing she grabbed was a deck of tarot cards.

  I pushed myself away from the table. “Mom, I don’t want to do this whole tarot card thing.”

  She already had the deck out of the box, and as soon as I said it, her face fell. Tarot card readings were her thing. I knew I’d hurt her the second I said it.

  “It’s just, you’ve tried showing me this stuff before,” I explained, remembering years ago when she tried to get me to help with the Halloween festival, “and I just don’t like doing it. I want to learn more about my abilities. I don’t think I’ll ever be a tarot card reader.”

  She put down the deck as if she understood. “Okay, maybe we shouldn’t start with this, then. How about we start with questions?”

  I had a lot of questions, but I wasn’t entirely sure how to ask them. I decided to just start firing away.

  “What type of abilities does Sophie have?”

  “She’s an empath.”

  “An empath?”

  “She can perceive the emotions of others better than most people and oftentimes can even influence them.”

  “What about Diane?”

  “Diane can see past events.”

  “Can she see it on demand?”

  “No. We only see what we need to. Sometimes you can ask to see certain things. Other times unimportant visions work their way into your mind, but none of us are strong enough to completely control when we see visions or get feelings.”

  “What about you? Can you only see the future?”

  “I can see small pieces of the future, but I rarely see things about myself or my family. I sometimes get vague feelings about things but nothing significant. I can also find things if I have so
mething to touch. It’s called psychometry.”

  I paused, digesting this. “And what about me?”

  She shifted. “Well, from what you’ve said, it sounds like you’re a medium, someone who can see spirits.”

  A medium? But I’d only seen two ghosts before. “I must not be a very good one,” I said, wondering if that was true. A small part of me knew that it probably wasn’t.

  My mother raised her eyebrows. “Crystal, you have a natural ability, but using your abilities takes a lot of practice. Everyone is born with the ability to be psychic, but even if you’re like us, born with a more natural connection to the other side, it takes practice to learn how to control and use your abilities.”

  “So let’s practice.”

  “What?”

  “Let’s practice. I want to get better. I don’t want this to scare me, because when I saw Olivia, I almost pissed my pants, Mom. I want to help Olivia.”

  The words shocked even me. Is that why I was so eager to learn about this? My heart felt for Olivia; it really did. I knew by the look in her eyes that she needed help and that only I could help her.

  “You didn’t see her in here the other night, did you?” I asked my mother.

  “No,” she admitted. “With all of us put together, I was sure we could at least talk with her. But we just didn’t have it in us.”

  With this, realization struck me like a ton of bricks. “Why were you even trying to contact her?”

  My mother dropped her head with shame and avoided my gaze. “I feel really bad about it.”

  “What, Mom? Why does she need help?”

  “It’s just, I wasn’t supposed to hear. I was eavesdropping.”

  “On who? What did you hear?” My voice was full of urgency even though the situation wasn’t that dramatic. But I just had to know.

  “I overheard Tammy talking to Sheryl about Olivia at one of our festival meetings. When I heard Olivia’s name, I stopped and eavesdropped on them even though it was supposed to be a private conversation.”

  “What did she say?”

  “She said that she was scared for her daughter. She admitted that she was having a hard time moving on. She said she could feel her daughter, like she was still here and hadn’t made it to heaven yet.” My mom pressed her lips together. “I know I have no place in this, but I just knew when she said this that Olivia needed help moving on . . .”