Lo’s grin widens to show his evenly spaced white teeth, his eyes dipping to my lips. “Really? What kind of trouble?”
It’s all I can do to contain the rush that invades my body at his words. Instead, I start pushing the open-top white thirty-foot boat off the edge of the dock. Jenna unties the last rope and jumps in after us, heading up top to the bow. She tosses me a surreptitious wink but I ignore her, flushing even more and welcoming the blast of wind against my hot face.
We’re already heading out into open water before I realize that being in this close proximity to Lo on a boat in the middle of the ocean probably isn’t the best idea. Shoving the disturbing thought from my head, I point out some of the protected areas.
“Where’d you learn to boat?” Lo shouts over the roar of the wind and the engines.
“Echlios—my guardian—taught me. You know Speio?” Lo nods, his eyes shooting skyward. I ignore the gesture meant for Speio. “Well, he loves boating and we have these family...diving expeditions. He actually has his own boat docked near our house on the shore.”
“Speaking of your shadow, I’m surprised he’s not hot on your tail.” Lo peers under the side rails. “Or is he hiding here like a silent ninja somewhere?”
“Speio’s fine,” I say. “He’s just—”
“—protective, I know,” Lo finishes. “How come, if you don’t mind me asking? You in some kind of witness protection or have a secret identity you don’t want found out, or what?” I can’t help myself. I start laughing so hard that the boat lurches sideways and spins into a half circle before righting itself. Lo can’t imagine how close he is to the truth. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing. I’m not in witness protection,” I say, still laughing. Jenna makes her way back at my laugh with an irritating, self-satisfied smirk on her face. My laughter snaps off like a switch. “Anyway, back to the tour—over there are the kelp forests. Interesting to swim through but not if you get tangled. It’s all part of the La Jolla Underwater Park.”
“Underwater park? Sounds awesome.”
I glance at him but he looks honestly excited about it. Jenna chimes in. “Yeah, it’s pretty cool. You scuba?”
“Yep, got certified a few years ago.”
“In Hawaii?” I blurt out, and then curse myself as Jenna’s eyes widen. I hadn’t meant to bring up a sore subject. But Lo only nods, his eyes unreadable and smiling a tiny smile that makes my heart lurch in response. I chew on my lower lip and stare at the water.
“So you surf and scuba. What else do you do?” Jenna says with forced joviality as I maneuver the boat around La Jolla point to the adjoining cove.
“Those are my two favorite things,” he says. “I love the ocean, always have. My...foster dad and I ran a marine wildlife support organization back home. We once took care of a baby dolphin for a whole year. I don’t know why I feel more comfortable with fish than people but I just do. Go figure, right?”
“Really?” I interject, trying to erase the sad look in his eyes. “I mean, weren’t you terrified of a leopard shark surfing the other day?”
“One, I wasn’t terrified. And two, it’s a shark. They eat people.”
“Not leopards,” I toss back with a grin.
“Well, I’m not taking any chances with the rulers of the ocean. They have long memories, sharks,” Lo says in a confident tone.
“Where’d you learn that?” Jenna asks.
“Google.”
Jenna snorts again and, this time, I can’t cover my own laughter at his comical expression. I glance through my lashes at Lo, who leans in to hear something Jenna is saying about the underwater canyons. His face is flushed from the wind and fresh air, and he looks happy. It’s obvious he enjoys being on the water and hanging out with the two of us. Maybe Jenna is right. I haven’t really been all that fair to him. I should give him another chance. After all, he is funny and sociable when he chooses to be, and anyone who loves the water as much as he obviously does can’t be that bad. I’m so caught up in my intense scrutiny of him and subsequent self-assessment that I don’t realize that Lo is talking to me.
“Like what you see?” he repeats amused.
“What? No. I was looking through you,” I splutter, rattled and mortified that he’d caught me staring at him like a lovesick puppy. The humiliation makes my words far sharper than they should be, demolishing all my good intentions. “For your information, not everything is all about you. Can’t you take the hint? Some people just don’t like you.”
“Like you?”
“Especially me,” I say tightly.
Jenna shoots me a disappointed look and moves away, but Lo just stands there, silent, watching me. I don’t know why I let him get me so riled up, but it’s like I can’t control myself. A part of me wants to apologize, to take back my throwaway comments, but instead I keep my eyes averted, feeling slightly ashamed but mostly furious with myself as I steer the boat back to the dock.
As if he, too, wants to get as far away from me as possible, Lo follows Jenna to the front of the boat, where she’s pointing out some of the landmarks on our way back. I don’t blame him, but I feel the loss of his presence like something tangible. Lo looks back once in my direction, his lower lip trapped between his teeth, something thoughtful flitting across his face before he turns his attention to Jenna.
I stare blindly at the ocean, considering all the reasons that I don’t like him. I hate the way he looks at me as if he knows me, when he knows nothing about me at all. I hate the way he talks, and the way he looks, and the fact that everyone—including my own best friends—seems to adore him. I hate the way he smiles so easily at anything Jenna or Cara says, when all he can do is snap mocking comments at me. I hate the way he makes me feel with one glance as if all the water in my body is electrified and I can’t breathe. I hate how he surfs, and how his lips curve into a lopsided smile when he’s happy. I hate everything about him, especially his stupid lips.
Ignoring the tiny shiver coursing through me at the thought of Lo’s lips, I sigh and swallow past the knot in my throat, watching him laugh easily at something Jenna says. Suddenly, I realize that I’m envious because, deep down, I want him to be that way with me.
Effortless.
And then the truth hits me like a curling wave.
I don’t hate him at all.
7
SANCTUM
I’m concentrating on holding the shape of the tiny drop of water on my finger in study hall when I feel a gentle tap on my shoulder. Speio slides in beside me. The drop dissipates into my skin and I slam my notebook shut hastily. The last thing I need Speio seeing is the insensible doodles I’ve made while staring at Lo across the room. I’ve seen him a couple times at the center after school, but we’re never on the same shift. I don’t know if it’s just fate, but a part of me knows that he’s avoiding me like the plague. Not that I blame him, but I feel compelled to say something. Although, I’m not even sure what I’d say if I got the chance.
Hey, Lo, sorry for being an ass. I’m just socially incapable of interacting with boys who show any interest in me. And by the way, guess what? I like you, too.
Not likely.
He’d probably walk away laughing his head off. Even I’m not so obtuse that I don’t know that boys can only take so much. So it’s over before anything can even start, which is probably a good thing in the grand scheme of things. At least, I keep telling myself that.
Even Jenna hasn’t spoken to me for a couple days following the boat tour. It still stings something fierce that she told me in the changing room afterward that, deep down, maybe I haven’t changed so much since freshman year, that maybe I am the same egoistic girl with a giant chip on her shoulder. I know I’m not that girl anymore, but everything about Lo makes me feel like a loose cannon. No one has ever made me feel as inside out as he does...
like all my secrets are exposed to him, and it’s making me crazy. It’s not an excuse, but Jenna’s right—this isn’t like me.
Between feeling incredibly guilty and the voice of my princess alter ego, who coldly asserts that I shouldn’t care what any humans think about me, I feel like my head is going to explode. I want to sink to the bottom of the ocean and sleep there for a week before having to deal with any of them again.
Especially him.
The boy with the eyes of my home’s darkest depths.
The boy who barely deigns to look at me.
The boy who hates me.
“Did you talk to Echlios?” Speio whispers, interrupting my pity party.
“No. I left this morning without seeing him. Soren said he was out. Why? Did something happen?” I ask, watching the creases on his forehead deepening. At least whatever he says will take my mind off Lo.
“Not here,” Speio whispers as the bell rings, signaling the end of the period and the school day. “Too many people. Five minutes outside.”
Grabbing my backpack, I walk with Speio to my locker in silence. I barely notice any of the other kids—all I want is to know why Speio looks so cagey. He looks downright panicked. Someone from the hockey team shouts something to me about a party but it sails over my head, lost in the usual Friday afternoon chaos.
Jenna walks by with Sawyer but her face is still stony. Clearly, she hasn’t forgiven me yet. A twitch at the corner of her mouth barely resembles an acknowledgment as we make brief eye contact. Sawyer shoots me a resigned smile—he knows better than to come between the two of us until we’re ready to admit we’re both bullheaded idiots.
My inner turmoil bubbles, human conscience and alien indifference battling. The words are on the tip of my tongue but I can’t bring myself to say them as she pauses for a half breath, the invitation slim, but still waiting for my apology. But I can’t give it. I can’t admit that once more I’ve overstepped the boundaries of acceptable behavior over a ridiculous boy. I can’t admit that he gets to me that much. And as guilty as I do feel, I’m sick of apologizing for a human shortfall that shouldn’t even factor into my existence. Alien indifference wins out for once.
I bend to no human. Not even one who is my best friend.
Turning away to stash my books in my locker angrily, I wait until she and Sawyer have passed by before dragging Speio outside to a gnarled maple tree in a less crazy corner of the quad. I fold my arms across my chest.
“Fine, we’re alone,” I say, my irritation from the nonscene with Jenna laced through my words. “What’s going on? What did Echlios say?”
“Ehmora is on the move. Up,” Speio says with a surprised look at my tone.
“What does that mean?” I gasp, all the anger draining out of me along with my breath. “She’s leaving Waterfell? Why?”
“You know what she wants, Riss. You’re still the only living heir to the High Court...and you’re going to come of age soon.” Speio’s gaze slips away from mine. “I don’t think you’re safe here anymore. I don’t think any of us are.”
“We can go deeper inland,” I suggest. “Where she can’t come after us.” But I know the immediate horror on Speio’s face is reflected in the halting nature of my words. Being apart from the ocean will kill us. Slowly and painfully. “Spey, at least we’ll be safe, and if we disappear somewhere in the Rockies, maybe we’ll have half a chance.”
“We don’t have a chance away from the sea, Riss. We’ll be half alive, half dead.” Speio leans in, his voice low. “I’ve heard stories of Aquarathi going inland and never being heard from again. Because they shriveled to nothing and died. Think about what you’re saying for a second. If you get upset, where are you going to run to? A swimming pool? For how long? Our bodies can’t exist away from the sea, you know that.”
“I know. It was a dumb idea. I’ll talk to Echlios and see what he says later,” I say with a shiver as something cold and featherlight slips across my neck. All the cells in my body spin toward the sensation, like a touch of something liquid on my skin. “Did you feel something just then?” I ask Speio.
“No, why?”
“It’s nothing,” I say, doubting that I felt anything in the first place. “I must have imagined it. It felt like a pull of one of us, but not really. It was weird.”
Speio flushes and mumbles something unintelligible. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice that Lo and Cara and the rest of her minions have made their way outside. They are laughing loudly and talking about going to the beach. I force myself not to react. Whatever—or whoever—Lo does is no longer of any concern to me.
I face Speio, commanding my gaze not to wander. “Sorry, what did you say?”
“I said it could be me,” he repeats.
“What do you mean?”
He eyes me, his skin turning dull red. “Lately, I’ve been feeling tons of these random flashes. Soren told me that it’s part of Dvija, because I haven’t bonded yet. Maybe that’s what you felt.”
“Oh,” I say, my attention now well and truly fixed on him. “Is it worse than what I felt before, that time at Trestles?”
“No, the same. Just more of it.” He shrugs and takes a deep breath, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. “It’ll get less as I get older or go away eventually. As they say, right now, I am in prime Aquarathi breeding form.”
“Eww! TMI,” I say, and then laugh out loud.
At the sound, I sense someone’s stare from behind us fall onto me like a solid weight. I glance to the side but it’s not Lo, it’s Cara, her pretty face spiteful. Lo is not even looking in my direction; he’s talking to one of the other girls. With a flip of her hair, Cara throws her arm around Lo’s waist but he dips down in the same second to tie his shoelace. I can’t help my sense of immediate gratification at the look on her face as her hand flutters in midair like a lost appendage, only to fall lamely down to her side. I grin widely, ignoring the look of pure venom on Cara’s face, and turn back to Speio.
“It’s not TMI. It’s just the way it is with us. We’re not like them,” he says, waving a hand at the kids milling around us. My grin fades away at the thought of Speio missing out on what should be his right—if we weren’t stuck here because of me. He should be in Waterfell finding his mate. Instead, he’s here as my companion because his parents are my Handlers.
“Spey,” I begin thoughtfully, “could we...I mean, you and me...” I trail off at the violent color that surges in Speio’s cheeks.
“No!” he says, and clamps his mouth shut as if he’s trying not to throw up. I try not to look too insulted even though the slap of his rejection is sharper than I’d expected.
“Wow, that’s harsh, even for you, Speio.”
He reddens to an almost neon hue, shaking his head wildly. “That’s not what I meant. I mean, I don’t think of you in that way. I mean, I like you and I feel the connection because you’re our next queen, but it’s not...you know...that.”
“Thanks a lot,” I tease, relaxing at his obvious discomfort. For a second, I feel that odd touch of water again on my skin like a sliver of cold in a warm pool. But this time, I figure it’s definitely Speio, considering how flustered he is. “You sure know how to make a girl feel good. But what if I felt that way toward you? I mean, would you resist me then?”
I burst into laughter at the shocked look on his face. I’m joking by this point, my initial hurt fading to nothing, but Speio’s response is serious. “No. I wouldn’t be able to resist you, and you already know that. If you commanded it, I would have no choice.”
“Jeez, Speio, I was just kidding,” I say. “Relax. I would never make you do anything you didn’t want. You know that I think of you as a brother. I was just joking. How could you even think I was serious?”
“It’s not a joking matter.”
“Okay,” I say. “I get i
t. Don’t offer to lessen best friend’s pain. Fine.”
Speio’s face softens at my words and he reaches out his fingers to touch the back of my hand. It’s an innocent gesture, but one that opens the floodgates to everything Speio is feeling inside...and everything he’s fighting. Like the last time, his light touch morphs into something electric, slamming into my body like a jolt of pure energy. Everything he senses is echoed and magnified through the thin barrier of our human skins. My back arches against the tree behind me and I gasp aloud as blood thunders in my ears, a wave of desperate longing surging through me.
Not mine. Speio’s.
He moves to pull his fingers away, but I flip my palm upward and grasp them tightly. I have to do something. I don’t know if it’s even possible in human form. I’ve certainly never done it on my own, but it’s as easy as doing a glimmer, I tell myself. Only I’m pushing a part of me into someone else.
What’s hard about that?
Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath to filter out the voices all around us, I find the calm spot deep in my center and thrust some of the stillness pooling there toward Speio, imitating the form of a glimmer-shadow. I have no idea if it’s going to work, but I try, anyway. I’m careful to make sure it’s just serenity and not any other emotion before I press the glimmer forward and into Speio. After a few seconds of feeling like a complete charlatan, his fingers grip mine tightly, his eyes widening.
It’s working!
Through the glimmer, I can feel Speio’s negative energy evening out. The pressure increases as I feel Speio sucking my energy into him, and suddenly, in the space of one heartbeat, I’m fighting to close it off before he drains it all out of me. I rip our fingers apart, my skin stinging as if the first layer of it has been peeled away. Speio jerks back a couple steps, breathing hard.
“What’d you do?” Speio asks in a dazed whisper, clutching his own hands to his chest.
“Sanctum,” I gasp, bile churning in my stomach.
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