I shut off the engine and wait, lying on the front bow and staring at the stars. Speio and I used to come out here, away from everyone and everything, to transform and swim until our bodies were weary and our spirits were happy. We haven’t done it in a while but it’s still our spot. Squashing the tendril of nostalgia that makes my heart twinge, I take a deep breath.
“I know you’re there, so you should just come on board,” I say. A splashing sound and then the boat rocking as someone climbs on board off the rails in the back. “There’s a towel on the seat,” I say over my shoulder.
Speio’s eyes are glittery and the remnants of bluish-gold bioluminescence trails down his bare shoulders and chest, post-transformation. The towel is wrapped around his waist.
“Have a nice swim?” I ask him.
“What are you doing out here?” he says.
“Waiting for you.” His face registers confusion and then an odd sort of bitterness. “I knew you would follow me.”
“Nerissa, I don’t have time for this kind of game,” he growls. “Just answer the question—why did you make me come out here? I’m not interested in going for a swim for old times’ sake. Or listening to whatever it is you have to say that will make everything better, because it won’t. And I have plans.”
I bend my head to the side, studying him. “I should think I’m a little more important than Cara. Surely she can wait.” His face flushes deep red but he bites his lip in silence. “What happened to us, Speio? It feels like there’s this huge wall between us and I don’t know where it came from. What did I do? What can I do to make things better?” I say, echoing his words.
“You didn’t do anything,” he says after a while, with a deep sigh. “It’s me.”
“I don’t understand. Why don’t you like Jenna or Lo or even Sawyer anymore? They used to be your friends.”
“No, they were always your friends. Not mine.” Speio sits and puts his head in his hands, raking his fingers through his hair almost angrily. “I’m just worried that Jenna’s going to crack under the pressure of what she knows. And then we’re all in danger of being exposed and hunted like animals. Do you know what the humans would do to us if they knew what we are? And Lo, I know my father cleared him, but there’s something about him that doesn’t sit right.” He stares at me. “And yet, you won’t listen to me about either of them.”
“What about Cara?” I shoot back.
“What about her?”
“Why are you even dating her? Is it to get back at me?”
Speio’s mouth twists. “Turns out she’s dating me to get back at you. I can’t even have a normal relationship because of you.”
“Cara’s the furthest thing from nor— Never mind.” I’m at a loss on how to respond to him or whatever misguided feelings he has for Cara. I’ve always trusted him over the years, more than anyone, but now everything about him feels so different. Even his fears seem unfounded, especially with respect to my best friend and my boyfriend.
“Speio, what is this really about?” I ask gently. “Do you not want me to have friends?”
“Of course not. It’s about trust, Nerissa. You see with your heart, not with your eyes. Open them and look!”
“For what?” I nearly snap. “What am I looking for? What? Tell me. You think Jenna is the hybrid? Or Lo?”
“No, they’re not,” Speio says, surprising me. “It was the first thing Soren asked me to do, once we knew about the hybrids. I glimmered both of them. They’re clear.”
“So then, what is it?” I’m unprepared for the rush of emotions that flood into Speio’s face, so quickly that I can barely separate each of them from the other, from fear to guilt to love to pain to anger and back to fear again. And then his face drops back into a wooden mask as if nothing had been there in the first place. Or maybe I imagined it.
“I just think you need to be careful.”
I move to where he’s sitting leaning against the silver railing of the bow, and grab his fingers. “What do you know, Speio? I need you to tell me. Where did you go that night with Echlios?”
He pulls his hand away and mine flutters in midair for a minute before it drops to my side. “You know what happened. We lost the trail,” he says flatly.
“But you went somewhere. Where did you go? Which house?”
“I can’t tell you.”
I clench my jaw so tightly it feels like my teeth will shatter at any moment, and as much as my heart is breaking, I turn Speio to face me. His shoulders jerk at my fierce hold but I dig my hands in, holding him captive. My eyes slide backward, flaring iridescent fire, and his spark in automatic response.
“Which house?”
“What are you doing, Nerissa?” he asks, struggling against my fingers. For the first time, fear is sliding around like a dark shadow in Speio’s face. But it’s not fear of me—it’s fear of something else. “You can’t do this. Stop. What are you doing?”
“What I should have done a week ago.” My glimmer spans outward, like a shimmer of golden fire hovering between us. I know that he can see it and the fear in his eyes spreads until his mouth is gaping open and his own fear is choking him. “What are you so afraid of?” I whisper. “It’s just me. I won’t hurt you, Speio, but I have to know. And if you won’t tell me, then I have no other choice.”
“You can’t, Riss, please,” he begs. “You can’t see the truth of what I feel for you in my head.”
I’m confused at his words and my glimmer falters, dimming slightly. “What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean.”
“But you said you didn’t...like me that way.” Now I’m the one fighting to find the words, muddled by my own confusion. I shake my head to clear it—even if Speio is secretly in love with me, it doesn’t change anything. I still have to know what he knows about the hybrid.
“I’m sorry, Speio. But it doesn’t change anything. I have to know.”
Speio gasps as the glimmer floats closer, his eyes like glowing round orbs. He struggles harder, jerking against me with every shred of strength he has. But it won’t be enough. I am far stronger than he is now, especially after Dvija, and he knows it. His entire body is shaking like a leaf, bright lights pacing up and down his arms. I see the indecision in his eyes, and I act upon it.
“One last chance, Speio, before I take it from you.”
“I’ll never forgive you for this,” he hisses, spit flying from his mouth.
“I know,” I say gently. “But that’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
Speio stares at me with loathing and powerless rage marked all over his face. “Fine. Stop, I’ll tell you. It was in Rancho Santa Fe. Cano’s house.”
19
WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW
My world is spinning. Principal Cano as one of Ehmora’s pawns. Principal Cano holding my mother prisoner at his house. Principal Cano smiling at me and congratulating me on a game well won. Principal Cano lying through his perfectly veneered teeth.
I want to smash his face in.
Is he human? Or a hybrid?
He’s been watching me all along. I feel disgusted and dirty, as if I need to take a long hot shower to wash the filth of knowledge now coating my body like grease.
Not to mention Speio’s revelation, which still has me baffled. He’s never been in the least bit interested in me. I remember the expression on his face months ago when I suggested that we should bond—he was revolted. And a boy who is in love with a girl wouldn’t have that reaction. Maybe his feelings only developed when Lo came into the picture. It’s so far out of the blue that I can’t even process it, so I shove it to the side along with everything else, with the sole exception of Cano.
I have other plans for him.
By the time I drag myself out of bed for school, I have a pounding headache. I haven�
�t slept a wink between all my machinations for what I’ll do to Cano once I find out where his house is, and wondering whether Speio has said anything to Echlios about what I did. I do feel badly at how I manipulated him, but he left me little choice. I change quickly into a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt and grab my car keys, slipping out of my patio door. Speio can get himself to school and I’m not in the mood to breakfast-talk with anyone. I’ll take the fallout with Soren and Echlios if I have to. Gunning the Jeep, I’m flying as fast as I can within the speed limit to the high school. I have one sole purpose and that is to find Cara.
Cano, unfortunately, is only listed in the local directory at an apartment complex in La Jolla—where he lives with Cara—and not in Rancho Santa Fe, so my best option is to somehow fish any alternate addresses from his niece. That, or break into his office. Tackling a murderous high-school princess or breaking and entering? Tough call.
Taking a breath and heading down the hallway, I see her usual entourage standing near the lockers. Before I can chicken out, I hustle toward the group, bracing myself against the barrage of hostile looks coming my way. “Hey, Cara, can I talk to you for a second?”
She eyes me. “What about?”
“In private?”
“This is private,” she says, waving a perfectly manicured hand.
I’d hoped to bring it up more naturally, but there’s no natural in a conversation between Cara Andrews and me so I just blurt it out with a vapid smile. “You still live with your uncle, right? In La Jolla?”
Her eyes narrow. “What?”
“Look,” I say, taking her by the elbow and drawing her off to the side. “I need your help with something.”
“And I should help you because...”
I take another breath. Jenna was right—our past isn’t water under the bridge for her, but I still can’t bring myself to apologize, especially with our captive audience. “You’re right. You have no reason to do anything, but I’m asking, anyway. I just need to know if your uncle has a second house.”
“That’s weird. Why?”
I force a bright grin. “It’s just that Lo and I have a bet that he has one in...Carmel Valley,” I fabricate wildly, hoping that the mention of Lo will soften her up.
“A bet,” she repeats.
The lies barrel out like rocks. “Yeah, and he said I was wrong. Anyway, you’re like the only one who can settle it.”
Her eyes narrow even more. “Lo’s been to both my houses. He knows where I live, so if he says you’re wrong, then you’re wrong.” Ignoring the stab of jealousy in my stomach at that tidbit of information, I’m like a deer in headlights, caught smack-bang in the middle of the lie. Cara sighs and shakes her head. “Look, if you wanted to know whether Lo and I hang out outside of school, we do. We’re friends, and if that bothers you, then you should take it up with him, but I really don’t have time for this.”
“Can I ask you one more thing?” I say, stepping right into her path.
“What?”
“Do you care about Speio?”
She smiles coolly and steps around me. “Now, that’s really none of your business.”
Watching as she walks away, I feel an odd sense of guilt. Not that I give a hoot about Cara, but if Speio meant what he said about not being able to have a real relationship because of me, then this is yet another thing that I’ve cost him. I have the sudden uncomfortable feeling that Speio’s life here has been a very lonely one, more so now that things between us have become so strained.
Pushing my thoughts aside, I call Lo but he doesn’t answer. The easiest way would be to get him to take me to Cano’s house or at least give me the address. He isn’t in English or any other classes, which means he’s either surfing or sick. Jenna keeps shooting me weird looks but I brush her off with evasive answers. I won’t involve her any more than she already is—there’s too much at risk.
After Bio, I call Lo again and make my way to the front office instead of the cafeteria for lunch. No answer. Frustrated, I shove my phone into my pocket. There’s no way I can wait now that I’m so close to finding my mother...not even another second. Then again, maybe it’s a sign that I can’t reach Lo. I’m going to have to do this on my own, which is safer for him, anyway. Darting into the nearby women’s room as Cano walks past with Leland, I have to hold myself back from confronting him. But being reckless won’t help me, or my mother. I stay silent.
I wait patiently until I see his receptionist head down to the cafeteria and slip into Cano’s empty office. Taking a deep breath, I close the door behind me. The click of it is like a gunshot. Even in broad daylight, the silence is eerie and heavy, almost as if it has eyes, watching my every move. Before I know it, chills are running up and down my back with every breath. I glance at my watch—I have about five minutes until the receptionist comes back. Not wasting any time, I search all the desk drawers in a methodical fashion, starting with the ones closest to me. Three or four times, I’m interrupted by the murmur of voices or strange banging noises but no one comes into the office. I resume my search, moving on to the file cabinets on the side of the room. And I freeze.
My file is at the very top.
But it’s not the only one. There are five other files beneath it—Lo’s, Jenna’s, Sawyer’s, Speio’s and Cara’s—marked with a yellow Post-it note with “Known Associates” written on it in red ink.
Known associates?
It makes me sound like the kingpin of a weird undercover drug ring or something. I can understand the first four but definitely not the last one. My fingers draw it out from the pile and open the manila cover. Not sure what I was expecting but Cara’s file looks the same as any other student file. A couple notes draw my attention. She’s a volunteer at the local Children’s Cancer Hospital. The snarky thought that she’d do anything for brownie points rushes through my head at the exact second that I see the second note. She lost her mother to the disease and grew up in foster homes for her entire childhood until she came to Dover. She’s done such a good job hiding her secret and pretending to belong that I never even guessed that she wasn’t born and bred here. I don’t think anyone did.
Maybe Lo was right when he said that underneath it all, we didn’t really know her and that she was a nice girl. I think about the events of the past week and shake my head. Maybe if hell froze over, she’d be a nice girl. Still, knowing about Cara’s childhood goes a long way to mollifying some of my hostility. Maybe that’s why she and Lo are so close. Technically, she’s been an outsider all along. I put the file gently back on top and keep searching. I find what I’m looking for in a thin drawer right under the lip of the desk. It’s an old magazine, likely junk mail, with Cano’s name and Rancho Santa Fe address typed into the corner.
Sierra.
An exclusive gated community that requires advance notice to access. Rumor is that it’s patrolled by armed security, mostly because of its high-profile residents. And no doubt Cano will have security of his own. There’s only one person I know who has access to that particular community because his mother has a house there.
Lo.
My stomach sours. I thought it’d be better to do it on my own and not involve him, but it looks like I’ll have no choice. Time to ditch school. Twenty minutes later, I’m parked outside of Lo’s house and banging on his door. He answers, his face still bleary with sleep. His hair is sticking up in all different directions and he’s dressed in ratty jeans and a T-shirt, as if he’s just rolled out of bed. No shoes. Scruffy. I’ve never wanted to jump someone’s bones more.
“You do realize that it’s the middle of the day, right?” I say with a gulp. “And you have a thing called school that’s mandatory?”
He rubs his face. “Yeah. Went night surfing. Swell was epic. Bertha called in that I had a doctor’s appointment.” His “staff,” I presume.
“That’s convenient
,” I say, glancing at my watch. “I need your help.”
“Sure, what’s up?” he says, his brow furrowing. He doesn’t question why I need his help, and it makes a tiny burn ignite somewhere in the pit of my stomach. He leans over to kiss my temple. “Everything okay?”
“Everything is fine but I need you to do something for me. Take me somewhere.”
His pushes a stray lock of hair out of my face and grins at me with a knowing look. “And you’re sure you want to go there right this minute? Since you’re here and breaking all kinds of school rules, why don’t you come back inside with me and we’ll just go later?”
As much as his suggestion makes the tiny flame in my center nearly explode into something uncontrollable, I shake my head. “We need to go now.”
“Where to?” he says, and pulls the door shut behind him.
“Sierra.” Lo’s dark eyes turn to me, his eyebrow raised and all traces of sleep gone. “I know your mom lives there, and I need to get in. I’m sorry to ask, but I don’t have anyone else.” I don’t know why I still don’t tell him whose house it is—maybe it’s some last-ditch effort to protect him. Once we’re in, I can do the rest on my own.
“Is this about your mother?”
“Maybe. She may be there, but I’m not sure.”
“In Sierra.”
“Yes,” I say, exasperated. Didn’t I just say it five times already? Lo raises his palms in surrender and then jumps into the driver’s side of my Jeep, his hands gripping the steering wheel. He starts the engine.
“Only asking because it’s not exactly the type of neighborhood that’s amenable to runaways or missing people, unless they want to be missing.” I glare at him and he stares at the road, muttering, “Just saying.”
We remain silent for the rest of the fifteen-minute drive. I shouldn’t be upset at Lo—normal people who go missing probably wouldn’t show up in Rancho Santa Fe, either. But my mother isn’t normal. And neither is Cano.
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