by Jillian Hart
Rachel McKaslin’s words came back to him. She will get through it. She has you. If only he had Rachel’s faith in himself. He would do his best, his very best, to be what Sally needed. Whatever the cost. But his best would be hard to give her when he was far away in Iraq.
Tragedies happened. He’d seen his share overseas, and here, too. He remembered what Rachel had said about her family’s loss and her older sister’s sacrifice.
Rachel McKaslin. He couldn’t remember the last time a woman had disarmed him. From trying to rescue him from the moose with a broom to the absolute empathy on her face when he’d carried a sobbing child in his arms. There was no way Rachel could have known that Jeanette always made milk shakes or that the board game that had been sitting out in the corner, probably for the kids to play later at the reception, was Candy Land, a favorite game Sally used to play with her mom.
Sally sighed in her sleep and curled up more tightly into a ball. He watched her for a moment, making sure she wasn’t about to start a nightmare—she’d been having them ever since he’d come to pick her up in foster care. She was so little. It was killing him. How could he find a nanny good enough for her? No matter what, he’d find the best one. I’m going to make sure you’re well taken care of, princess.
A woman across the aisle caught his eye. “She’s awful cute. I don’t see a wedding ring, so are you a single father?”
She said that last part with a hopeful lift, and the bachelor in him balked. She was pretty enough and somewhere in her twenties. And definitely looking for a husband, for she had that certain intensity to her.
Too bad he wasn’t interested, he thought, as he shook his head. Maybe he ought to be looking for a wife, for someone who could mother Sally. Help him raise her. Well, too bad he wasn’t interested in marriage either, because it would be the perfect solution. “No,” he told the woman. “I’m her uncle.”
“Oh. You must be great with kids.”
“Not really. Sally tolerates my incompetence,” he quipped, looking away.
He wasn’t interested. He didn’t want this woman to think he was. He didn’t want to be thinking about nannies or finding a quick, convenient wife. He wanted Sally to have her mom back. He wanted to be with his squad leading them through the desert on a search-and-rescue mission. He wanted to be back in Rachel’s yard eating another Popsicle and watching her smile.
And where did that come from? It was out of the blue, that’s what. And probably what he got from being so jet-lagged. He was starting to lose it. Just like back in the diner when he’d gotten bent out of shape because an old high-school friend of Ben’s had been talking with Rachel.
And why did she keep popping into his thoughts? He was short on Z’s, that’s why, had been traveling too much. He needed some downtime, some sleep and to get back to his normal routine. He’d best keep up on his running. If he got out of shape, he’d be in a whole world of hurting when he got back to base. That’s where his energy ought to be, on returning to duty and finding someone to care for Sally. That’s it. No more thinking of Rachel and her slippers and her Popsicles and her sweet, endearing smile.
Tomorrow morning, he would have this all in perspective. And he’d have all thoughts of Rachel McKaslin out of his system.
It wasn’t like he was going to be seeing her again anyway. He leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. That thought should have given him comfort. So why did he feel more restless than before?
He didn’t want to think about that too much. The plane lurched in a pocket of turbulence and the fasten seat belts light popped on. As the plane nosed earth-ward, climbing down from cruising altitude with the sprawl of Los Angeles in sight, he had enough to put all thoughts of Rachel out of his mind.
Three weeks and two days later, Rachel buried her face in her hands and made a long sound of frustration that echoed in the diner’s small office. “Paige, I’m never gonna get this.”
“Sure you will. You just have to concentrate.”
“My gray matter is under way too much pressure. If I concentrate anymore, my brains are going to start spewing out of my ears.”
“Well, I have a mop handy.”
“Ha ha.” What Rachel wanted to do was to run outside and keep going until she reached a land where there were no computers, no bookkeeping programs and no general ledgers she didn’t understand anyway. “Derrick is back in town. He’s a CPA. I could pay him to do this.”
“With the little profit the diner makes, you can’t afford to pay him.”
“Maybe I can pay a bookkeeper then. They have bookkeeping services. They’re listed in the Yellow Pages. I really think I should call or something. The good Lord clearly did not mean for me to handle accounting responsibilities or He would have given me even a smidgen of ability or something.”
“It’s not you, Rachel. Everyone feels this way about keeping their books. You just get used to it.”
“I don’t think I want to get used to this.” Rachel didn’t think Paige understood. How could she? Paige was smart and capable and she could do anything. “I’ve been trying to learn this stuff for the last six months. It’s not sticking. I’m totally lost.”
She smacked the endless and meaningless reams of printouts with the flat of her hand. It didn’t help that she couldn’t properly concentrate because her thoughts kept straying to a certain someone who was long gone and whom she wouldn’t be able to see again. “None of this balances. None of it makes sense. You know you could still leave me the business, but you could teach Amy how to do this.”
“But it will be your business. And what happens when Amy decides to stay home? Maybe she’ll want to have another baby? Or go back to school. She has more options now that Heath is getting his state medical license.”
“You’re right. You’re always right.” Rachel loved Paige. She just wished she was more like her wonderful big sister. “I’m a failure. We have to admit it. There’s no point in being nice about it. I’m doomed.”
“I don’t allow doom in my diner.” Paige tried to lighten the mood.
But the alarm on Rachel’s wristwatch gave a musical jingle saving her from more bookkeeping woes. “Oops, we’ll have to continue this drama later. I’ve got to race over and pick up Westin from school. I promised Amy.”
“And where is our illustrious sister? Isn’t she supposed to be prepping in the kitchen?”
“Oh, I did most of that for her already. She got a call from the Realtor and she had to race over to look at this house that just came on the market. I’m so sorry, I have to go.” Rachel decided to leave the papers where they were and grabbed her purse off the back of the tiny desk wedged into the hallway next to the diner’s kitchen. “And my keys…?”
She spotted them on the counter and ran off before Paige could stop her. “I’ll be back!”
“You’d better be. I’m not done torturing you!”
“Are you sure you want me to take over? When Alex graduates, you never know, you might be overcome with nostalgia and never leave this place. And then I’ll have suffered the torture of computer work for nothing.”
“Wishful thinking, little sister.” Paige seemed to drift off into a daydream.
It was so uncharacteristic of her that Rachel couldn’t move. Paige had worked so hard over the years. Harder than any of them had in return. They hadn’t needed to, because Paige was always there, carrying the load, shouldering all of the responsibilities without complaint. She solved every trouble before anyone even knew there was a problem.
Paige seemed to shake herself out of her thoughts, and wherever she’d gone in her mind, she looked happier. Younger.
Wow, she’s really counting on leaving the diner.
Rachel breezed through the kitchen, where Dave, the evening cook, was prepping for supper, and banged through the back door and out into the chill of the early-winter afternoon. She shivered and realized she’d forgotten her jacket. She wasn’t used to thinking summer was over, even when her sneakers crunched over the la
st of the amber and brown leaves carpeting the ground. Soon snow would be falling and the holidays would be here. Life went on, she knew, but she still found herself thinking of Jake.
Maybe she ought finally to accept Derrick’s polite but persistent requests for a date. But the second she thought it, her stomach twisted with the simple truth. As nice as the accountant was, there wasn’t that certain something. That special “wow” she so wanted.
Maybe she was too romantic. Maybe she had her hopes set too high? But if she didn’t, then she would settle for less than true love. And that seemed sad, she thought as she opened her car door and dropped behind the wheel. The instant she sat down, a digital tune chimed from inside her purse. It was Paige, no doubt about it. Classic Paige.
Rachel unzipped her purse and fished around as the tune grew louder and the shaking continued. Where did it go? Oh, there, beneath her wallet and a roll of wild cherry candies. “Hey, what did I forget?”
It wasn’t Paige’s voice that answered, but her brother’s. “Nothing that I know about. How are ya doin’?”
“You sound happy. Being married must suit you.”
“What’s not to like?” She’d never heard him sound so relaxed or so at peace. He was back from his honeymoon and a very happily married man. “Do you know where I can find Amy? I’m tryin’ to track her down.”
“Uh…you could try her cell.” Rachel slammed the door and reached for her belt with one hand. “Or is she out of range?”
“That’s why I’m calling you.”
“What do you need?” She sorted through her keys and jammed the wrong one into the ignition. Of course it didn’t fit, and so she had to shake through the key ring again until she found the right one.
“Jake’s in town.”
Jake’s in town. “Nobody told me that.”
“He’s on his way back to Florida, but he’s swinging by to help me load the moving van tomorrow, but I’m taking him jumping in about fifteen minutes.”
“Jumping. As in out of a plane. Into thin air?”
“Sure. Piece of cake. Trouble is, if Amy’s MIA, then we’re staying grounded. Amy said she’d keep Sally for Jake.”
Suddenly Amy’s disappearance made sense. So, Amy knew all about Jake being in town and yet she hadn’t said a thing cooking breakfast this morning. Now, wasn’t it a coincidence that the moment Jake needed help, Amy had disappeared?
She loved her sisters, boy, did she, but she didn’t need to give Jake any more reasons to run the other way. Her face was already hot.
Ben sounded mad. “Well, we were supposed to meet her here.”
“Oh, are you at her house?” Rachel jammed the phone against her shoulder and maneuvered the gearshift into Reverse. With the clutch going out, it was kind of tricky and she had to listen hard to hear Ben’s answer over the grinding gears. She gave it some gas.
“No, cutie. I’m parked right behind you. Could you stop?”
What? She hit the brakes. She’d only backed up about two feet, but there was Paige’s extra truck—Ben used it while he was in town, glinting in her rearview mirror behind her. She had a good two yards between her bumper and his, but still. Yikes! Did thinking about seeing Jake again have her rattled or what? “Sorry about that. What are you doing creeping up on a girl like that? You know I’ve been banging my head against the wall trying to learn Paige’s accounting system. I’m not right in the head.”
“Sure, like that’s news,” he kidded fondly. “I have pity for you, really I do, but if Amy’s gone, then who’s picking up Westin?”
“Where do you think I’m going in such a hurry?”
“Oh, to get him from school. Cool. So, let me get this straight.” She could just make out Ben’s face through the glare of the truck’s windshield but he was there alone. “You’re going to be looking after Westin.”
“Yep.” Where was Jake? Maybe Ben was meeting him at the airport. That made sense. He wasn’t actually going to be in town.
Ben kept talking, but a strange sound buzzed in her ears, making it impossible to hear more than distant gibberish as he began to explain something. Her attention had zeroed in on a movement in the passenger’s-side mirror—there was a blur of color and that color became a man with amazing shoulders and a lean, athletic build. A man with dark, military short hair and an awesome presence that made her heart roll over and fall and keep falling.
Jake Hathaway was striding toward her passenger door like a soldier on a mission. Panic set in, but it was too late. He was already yanking open her door, already filling the space between them with a half frown and that intensity that made her stammer instead of speak like a normal person.
“Uh, well, h-hi.” Smooth, Rache, real smooth. She gave a weak grin.
He didn’t smile back.
Chapter Seven
“H-hi back,” Jake stuttered, for his tongue seemed to be paralyzed. He couldn’t believe that seeing Rachel again would be such a shock. Like jumping at twenty-five thousand feet where there was only icy atmosphere and empty vast air.
She seemed just as surprised to see him, as her lovely mouth was gaping like a fish out of water.
Yep, I know just how you feel. And that troubled him too because whatever this was, it affected both of them. That can’t be good, he thought as he cleared his throat and tried to sound like a normal person. “Aren’t you gonna come skydiving, too?”
“I’ll keep my feet planted firmly on God’s good soil, thank you very much. I’m not about to jump out of a perfectly good plane.”
“Well, I just thought I’d offer. I appreciate you watching Sally for me.”
“Go ahead and bring her in. I’ve got to run. School is over this exact minute. But Ben has my cell number, and I’ll be out at the house. You can find me when you’re done.” There was only friendliness in her manner, and he wondered about that dude who’d been talking to her in the diner.
It wasn’t his business if she was seeing someone and he wasn’t about to lower his pride and ask Ben about it. Why would he? He wasn’t interested in getting married. He was an independent sort and always would be, right? This deep awareness he felt for Rachel McKaslin would go away, right?
Sally nudged against his side. She’d climbed out of Ben’s truck and was stalking him like a navy SEAL. “Uncle Jake, you won’t make me stay with her, right?”
Okay, well, he wouldn’t have to worry about this awareness he felt for Rachel because Sally was going to scare her away anyway. The girl had been getting steadily more clingy over the last few weeks. “Sweetie, I won’t leave you for too long. I can’t take you jumping with me.”
“Oh.” She couldn’t hide her enormous disappointment.
Rachel came to the rescue. Somehow that didn’t surprise him a bit. She flashed a winning smile their way. “Sally, you and I are going to have the most awesome time. I promise. Hop in.”
“I guess.” Sally’s head sank forward in defeat.
Jake’s chest gave a hard bump. The girl seemed like nothing but shadow. He’d done his best by her, but he couldn’t blame her. Going back to California and facing memories of her old life had refreshed her grief. Maybe Sally needed Rachel’s empathy today.
And he was grateful. “I can’t thank you enough, Rachel.”
“No thanks needed. I’m always happy to spend time with a good friend. Right, Sally?”
Sally didn’t look as if she agreed but she climbed into the car and grabbed the buckle. Worry darkened her pretty eyes. “You’ll be back for supper, right?”
“You won’t have time to miss me much, I promise you that, darlin’.” She’d been keeping close track of him, as if she were afraid of losing him, too.
Sally looked up at if she didn’t believe him at all.
I’m not ever gonna abandon you, little girl. He couldn’t help running his hand over the top of her head or the love that kept getting stronger for this child.
“Hey,” Rachel broke through his thoughts. “I gotta scoot! Have jun fumping! I
mean, fun jumping.” She put the car in gear—forward this time—and he slammed the door shut.
The sedan cut through the long slant of sunshine and the stir of golden autumn leaves. His heart stirred, too, a strange mix of emotions he didn’t want to acknowledge or name.
Jun fumping? Could she have bumbled that any worse? Rachel still wanted to wither up and die an hour later as she pulled into the garage with both kids tucked in the back seat.
It was too much to hope that Jake hadn’t noticed. With any luck, she’d never have to see him again.
And hadn’t she been in serious like with the man? Well, she might as well give up those thoughts now. What he must think of her, she couldn’t guess, but chances were one hundred percent that he wanted to run in the opposite direction the next time he saw her.
Liking a man was a tricky thing—it was the first step on a path that made a girl way too vulnerable. As much as she wanted love and romance, a lovely wedding and a good marriage, she wanted it to be with the right man. That man wasn’t Jake.
Rachel took a deep breath and tried to imagine the perfect man, if there could be one better than Jake. A man who would love her truly and cherish her forever, the same way she wanted to love him. The truth was, she wanted to love Jake. Her soul seemed to calm in his presence. This was simply another lost opportunity for true love.
She put the car in Park and turned off the engine. Westin’s reflection in the rearview mirror caught her attention. He was already free from his buckles and clambering out of his seat. His hair was tousled and windblown from a busy day at school, but his energy not a bit dimmed. He bolted out of the back seat and gave the door a good slam, all before she had time to do more than pull her keys from the ignition and open her door. “Are you gonna be a gentleman and wait for us girls?”