by Jillian Hart
Don’t put the cart before the horse, she thought as she hauled the cleaner and brush to the next stall and gave the toilet a flush. We’ve had one date. Just one. And how on earth could they manage a relationship if he was stationed on secret bases throughout the Middle East?
Maybe she was getting her hopes up with this man for nothing. When she thought about it, there were too many obstacles. He had Sally as a priority. Then his duty. And she was stuck here in Montana, duty-bound to her family diner.
Disappointment trickled into her until she was cold. Until the happiness she’d felt after their kiss had completely faded. She scrubbed until the porcelain was clean and carried her cleaning supplies to the hall closet. She’d check on the dishwasher, see if a cycle was done before tackling the sinks and the counter. And then all that would be left was the floor.
Jake would be waiting, so she wanted to hurry, but her heart weighed her down. A true loving relationship took time and work and closeness, and even if he’d hinted he was interested in marriage, it was a long way from first date to wedding day. How could this ever work?
Maybe it was better to save her heart from falling any further while she still could.
The mop was gone from its hook in the closet. That was weird. Maybe it was in the kitchen and she hadn’t noticed. Sometimes the evening cook gave the kitchen a swab when things were slow. Maybe he’d already cleaned up. Wouldn’t that be nice? She grabbed her bottle of bleach mix and bopped down the short hallway to the kitchen. What she saw made her skid to a halt and blink. Was she dreaming again?
Jake was in the middle of the kitchen with his broad back to her, swabbing the mop across the floor. And not in a careless way either, but with sharp, effective strokes. He bent to douse the mop and wring the water from it and then went back to work, nudging the water bucket along with him with his foot, back and forth over and over, leaving spotless, gleaming tile in his wake.
He’d taken off his sweatshirt, and wore a long-sleeved navy T-shirt beneath, and she couldn’t help noticing the way his hard muscles bunched and rippled beneath the knit fabric. In that moment, with only half the kitchen lights on, the partial shadows cast a powerful image of him, illuminating more than his physical self, but his essence as well. It was his spirit she saw, a core of honorable character, a warrior at heart, even here in a peaceful small-town diner in the middle of rural Montana.
He would never belong here, and she would never ask him to give up who he was, who the Lord had made him to be.
He spoke without looking up from his work; he must have heard her footsteps. “Thought I’d pitch in. I’ve swabbed a few floors in my day, especially in boot camp.”
She couldn’t swallow past the lump of emotion wedged in her throat. “Pitch in, huh?”
“Yep. You may as well get used to it. I’m not a man to sit on my, uh, laurels.” He grinned at her over his shoulder as he dunked the mop into the bucket and dowsed it. “I just want to help you.”
“N-not many men wouldn’t mind mopping a floor.” She walked woodenly to the counter.
“I’m not just any man. I meant what I said tonight, Rachel. I don’t waste my time, and I always know what I want. I’m here because I’d rather be cleaning your kitchen with you than anywhere else without you.”
She set the bottle of cleaner down with a thunk. She couldn’t believe him, could she? Men didn’t just walk into a woman’s life and change it, did they? Did he know what this meant to her? Maybe it was just a little mopping to him, but to her, it was so much more. She’d never known a man she’d dated to treat her like this. To pitch in, to help out or to say the things he did.
Her heart gave another tumble. It wasn’t wise or prudent, no rational woman would let it happen, but this felt beyond her control. Love, sweet and true, rushed through her, filling her with brightness.
How strange. She’d always figured she would fall in love irrevocably and forever surrounded by roses and sunshine or on some momentous occasion, like Valentine’s Day. She would have never thought love would happen to her like this, in a quiet calm glow, in the middle of the kitchen.
Emptiness echoed around her, or maybe it was the shadows, and the faint swish and clink of Jake’s mopping in the dining room.
Maybe it was fitting, she realized, with the echoed memories of her life surrounding her. Her parents’ happiness as they worked in this kitchen. Her childhood with her sisters and brother helping out or playing board games around the prep table. The ties of her family, of the past and the present both heartened her and tore at her.
The good experiences growing up in her family and in this diner had made her who she was. And the obligations that came from it felt smothering because she could not turn her back on this place or on her promise to Paige, just as she could not deny loving this man who pitched in to help her.
Torn, she went in search of clean rags, knowing this—as her life always was—in the Lord’s care.
The snow fell like a blessing. Rachel brushed the softness from her cheek and turned the key in the dead bolt. The parking lot behind the diner was empty except for her trusty sedan and the twins’ decades-old VW. “How do I properly thank you?”
“How about a kiss good-night?”
“That I can do.”
It was a blessing to step into his arms. To have the privilege of his kiss. His lips brushed hers. The space between one breath and the next became infinity. She wrapped her arms around his neck and savored the secure feel of his arms wrapping around her.
What luxury, to be held by this wonderful man. She would not think about the future. She would not think at all. She wanted to savor the warm velvet of his kiss. The tender brush of his lips. The love like a light flaring to life within her in this one perfect moment.
He broke their kiss, and she could feel his love. He held her gently, and even in the half shadows of the night she could see the regret in his eyes. “I hate that I have so little time with you.”
This is it, she thought. Where he says goodbye. Where he says it was nice, but he’s moving on. And why wouldn’t he say that, she reasoned as she laid her hand against his rugged jawline. They had entirely different lives, and very demanding and full lives. This love affair had to end. The pain of it gathered like a sharp blade at the base of her throat, slicing until she felt too raw to speak.
His fingers, so thick and powerful, caressed the curve of her face, making her heart ache. She pressed against his touch, and as he kissed her again, her heart opened. She couldn’t deny that she loved him, and every time she was with him, she loved him a little more.
“It’s not fair I have to leave.” He pressed his forehead to hers. “Not when I’ve just found you. No woman has ever made me feel this way.”
See, he was leaving. She knew he would be. There was no other choice for him to make. “I will never forget you.”
“I’m going to make sure you won’t.” He brushed snowflakes from her face with her bare fingers.
She let her eyes drift shut at the rasp of his calloused fingertips against her skin. For all his strength, his touch was gentle. Did he know how much of her heart already belonged to him? She didn’t think so, or why would he be talking like this? “Does that mean you want to stay in touch? Like friends?”
“No. I do not want to be friends with you.”
“You don’t?” The faintest hope fluttered in her soul.
“No. I want more.” His head dipped to catch her lips with his. “I want everything.”
“Everything?”
“I’m going to ask you to marry me.”
“You are?”
“I’ve never met anyone like you, Rachel. And the way you make me feel—” Jake couldn’t complete the sentence. He couldn’t say the words that would render him vulnerable.
He could love her beyond logic and good sense, and trust her with everything he was, heart and soul. Which was why he had to hold on to his sense and his heart. Hiring a nanny for Sally would be easier. Finding a woman t
o marry who didn’t affect him would be smarter. But the Lord had brought him here; He’d brought him to Rachel. Funny, beautiful, gentle Rachel.
He’d have to be strong and firm; he could do this for all their sakes. “You are perfect.”
“Me? Oh, I don’t think so. That just proves you don’t know me. I lose my keys all the time, and I can’t learn bookkeeping, and I have a thousand flaws. You have to have noticed that.”
Her luscious hair was trying to escape the confines of her wool hat and silken strands were hanging out in random tangles. He smoothed the wisps and the act of touching her made the tenderness he felt for her flare like a launched missile. “You are perfect for me.”
He watched her melt. She was amazing, this woman God had chosen for him and Sally. And the truth be told, even if heaven hadn’t put him on this path to her, he would have fallen for her. He would have wanted her more than any woman in the entire world. “Here it is, almost midnight and snowing like we’re in Alaska and I don’t want to let you go.”
“I know just how you feel.”
“Then you don’t mind if I spend as much time with you as I can while I’m here?”
“No. It would be a wish come true.” Rachel bit her bottom lip, amazed at the honest words that just seemed to spill out of her.
She’d never felt this close to a man. She’d never had a man feel this way about her, and it was frightening and thrilling all at once. This was true love. “I’ll see you in the morning. At Ben’s sending-off party?”
His kiss was his answer, a gentle brush of lips, yes, but more. So much more. When his lips touched her, she felt the brush of his heart to hers. Of his soul moving with hers, and she held him tight, hope lifting her up. She would have floated home through the snowflakes dancing in the air except for Jake’s rock-solid hands that held her firmly to the ground.
She’d been praying so long and earnestly for the right man; the very best man. She’d nearly given up hope. But some prayers were answered, and the answer was all the sweeter for the wait.
Chapter Twelve
“It’s not the best weather for Ben and Cadence to start their move,” Paige observed as she shouldered through the back door. “Now I wish they had left last night.”
“The snow wasn’t forecast.” Rachel, who was wait-ressing this morning, slid a bottle of hot sauce into her apron pocket and grabbed two plates of giant cinnamon rolls from the warmer. “Now we’re going to be worrying about them every moment from when they leave until they are safely through the entire state.”
“I think the storm hit Wyoming, too. I heard it on the radio on the way in.” Paige shrugged off her snow-dappled parka. “I dragged Alex here, not just for the party, but because we’re short a bus person. If you see him lolling around, order him back to work. Got it?”
“Yes, ma’am.” Rachel shouldered through the swinging door and into the dining room. The banners she and Amy had come early to hang were glittering from the ceiling and stretched the width of the eating area. Good Luck! flapped overhead in black and gold as she hurried down the aisle.
Cousin Kelly looked up from her college textbook as Rachel eased the plate onto the table. “Are they here yet?”
“Ought to be any minute. I bet the roads are slow going. Would you like a refill?”
“Looks like that handsome dude of yours is here. When you get done seating him—” Kelly grinned “—then worry about my coffee cup.”
Jake was here! Rachel whipped around and there he was, standing in the open door with snow tumbling in all around him. Sally clung to his side, and in his arms was a glass vase of pale-pink rosebuds. They were long-stemmed and gorgeous, and there had to be two dozen of the stunning flowers.
The sight of the roses wasn’t what glued her feet to the floor. His gaze fastened on hers over the top of the delicate petals and she felt the brightness only he could bring to her soul. It was as if he saw the real Rachel McKaslin and beyond, deeper, to the dreams she held so close.
When he smiled, she fell in love a little more.
Vaguely she heard someone call, “They’re here!” and the murmur of the customers, many of whom had come to send Ben and Cadence off, but it all seemed so far away.
Jake came to her, and she wondered if he felt this tug of awareness down deep within, and if he had the same sweet wish. I’m going to ask you to marry me. His words of last night lingered with her. You are perfect for me.
She’d come to fear she would never hear such beautiful and sincere words. And she stood in the diner she was duty-bound to take over and the conflict hit her like a blast of arctic wind. You would have been perfect for me, too. She laid her hand over her heart for the pain building there.
“Good morning, beautiful.”
Longing filled her—chaste and sweet—as he came closer, and it was a longing that strengthened and expanded. She was blinded by joy as he set the exquisite flowers on the counter and leaned close. His mouth hovered over hers for a brief moment. She felt a click of connection as their hearts joined. Her soul stilled as he brushed his lips against hers in a brief, meaningful kiss.
“I had a hard time convincing a florist to open early, but Ben mentioned that Cadence had a friend who was a florist, so I did a little sweet-talking and you have two dozen roses. Do you like ’em?”
“I love them. They’re gorgeous. And my very favorite. How did you know?”
“I’m good at reconnaissance.”
“That’s what I get for falling in love with a soldier.” The flowers were perfect and she was floating with happiness again.
“This is only the beginning of the good things I’m going to do for you.” His hand cupped her jaw, loving and sure of his promise.
She was sure of his promise, too. He was a man who kept his word. She knew it; she could feel it in her heart, for it was inexplicably linked to his. Certainty filled her. This was the right man, sent from God above.
The bell above the door jangled cheerfully, and the sound cut into the bubble that seemed to have formed around them. The morning was the same as any other—the scent of fresh coffee, the sound of Paige’s voice, and the chill of the winter wind slicing through the warm diner.
But it was no average, ordinary day. It felt like the first day of her life. It felt as though all the years up to this point had only been to bring her here, to this man who towered over her. His hand found her shoulder and rested there. Together they turned to face the door. The pleasant masculine scent of him, the shampoo in his hair and the detergent on his clothes made her dizzy, and she couldn’t help letting her forehead lie against his chest.
With greater understanding, she watched her brother release the door he’d been holding for his new wife and lay his arm across her shoulder. The love between them was unmistakable as they exchanged intimate smiles, as if they knew what the other was thinking without the need for words.
The diner around them exploded with cheers. Family and friends packed the place, and congratulations and good luck wishes rang in the air, drowning out every other sound. Only then did Rachel realize she was still holding a plate with a cinnamon roll she’d promised the deputy. How could she move away from Jake?
“I’ll take that.” Paige whipped the plate out of her hand on her way by. She said nothing else, not even to send a look of disapproval Rachel’s way.
But guilt stung, anyway. Rachel yanked herself away from Jake’s wonderful chest, feeling cold and bereft as if she’d been shoved out in the snow. People were pushing by in the aisle wanting to greet the newlyweds and offer good-luck prayers for a safe journey. After slipping the cinnamon roll on Frank’s table, Paige wrapped her arms around Cadence first and then Ben. Amy came rushing from the kitchen, where Heath had been helping with the extra cooking, and her diamond wedding set caught the light and shimmered as she joined in the hugging.
Everything is changing. Rachel didn’t look back at Jake or the little girl clinging to his other side. She dutifully tugged the hot sauce bottle from he
r apron pocket and nudged it onto the edge of the deputy’s table.
“For your eggs, Frank.”
“First your sister and now your brother,” Frank commented. “Looks like you might be next.”
Heat flamed across her face. How did she answer that? Paige had overheard as she’d pulled back from the group. The hard set to her face said everything. Her older sister didn’t look at her again as she hurried past, intent on seeing to something in the kitchen.
What am I going to do? Rachel felt as low as the snow melting on the rubber mat at her feet.
Ben’s arms closed around her and his voice was a comfort as he spoke low in her ear, so only she could hear. “Jake’s a decent guy. I trust my life to him every day. I think he’s good enough for you, little sister.”
Ben would understand. She swiped at the wetness on her cheeks. “What about Paige?”
“Have you talked with her about this?”
“No, you know how it is. I promised her. She stayed here all this time for us. And now with Alex graduating…” More people were pushing up to give their good-luck wishes and say their goodbyes. This was not the time. Rachel kissed her brother’s cheek. “You two have a safe trip. Be so happy, okay?”
“I already am.”
Bob Brisbane prodded in to shake hands with Ben, and as she sidestepped out of the way, someone grabbed her around the wrist and pulled. Amy hauled her close. “I was just telling Cadence all about you and Jake.”
“What? First Ben and now you two. It’s just—” She glanced over her shoulder where the flowers were being admired by her cousins Kelly and Michelle at the front counter. Jake and Sally had disappeared in the crowd, and she felt keenly alone without him near.
“Yep, it’s what we thought.” Amy sounded triumphant. “I’ve been praying for this, Rachel. For you to finally have the good man you deserve.”