by Marie Force
“Flynn…”
“Hmm?”
“I just want to say…” It’s hard to talk when he’s got my earlobe clamped between his teeth and my breasts in his hands.
“What do you want to say, sweetheart?”
“I’m so excited to marry you. To be with you. To have everything with you.”
“I am, too. You’ve made me crave things I said I’d never want again.”
“I want to make you happy.”
“I’ve never been happier.”
“I mean in here, too.” I gesture to the bed and then glance up at him to gauge his reaction.
“You know how to fire me up, sweetheart.”
“Teach me something new. Something we haven’t done before.”
His low groan is followed by a devouring kiss.
I loop my arms around his neck, pressing my body into his and opening my mouth to his tongue. His hands are everywhere, stroking me into a frenzy of need. And then he’s lifting me, his hands on my bottom.
With my legs wrapped around his hips and his tongue invading my mouth, I lose all sense of time and space and anything other than what’s happening right here and now with the love of my life.
He breaks the kiss, his breathing heavy and labored. “You want something new?”
I nod. “I want to know everything. Teach me.”
“You’re officially killing me. You’re so fucking sweet.”
I should hate when he’s crude, but I don’t. I love it. I love everything he says and does.
He seats me on the bed. “Turn around.”
I move tentatively to turn so my back is to him. “Like this?”
“Uh-huh. Now slide your butt forward and lie back, so your head is hanging off the bed.”
Thought I can’t quite figure out what he’s got planned, I move into the position he’s requested.
He bends over me to tug my nipple into the heat of his mouth.
I run my hands up his legs, needing to touch him while he drives me mad with the slow, steady tug of his lips on my nipples.
“Open your mouth,” he says, his voice a hoarse rasp.
When I comply with his request, he takes himself in hand and sinks into my open mouth in small increments. In this position I can take more of him than I have before.
“Easy, baby, nice and easy. Take as much of me as you can.”
My lips sting from stretching around his wide shaft. I stroke him with my tongue, making him gasp.
“God, yes, Nat… Just like that. If you need to stop, just pat my leg.” He takes my hand and raises it to his leg to demonstrate. “Right there. Like that. Okay?”
I pat his leg to tell him I understand. I’m so caught up in trying to take more of him that I barely notice when he bends over me, puts his hands under my thighs and pulls my legs up and apart. Only when he opens me to his tongue do I understand his intentions.
How am I supposed to concentrate on breathing and taking him deeper into my mouth and throat when he’s doing that to me? God, it’s amazing. I raise my hips, wanting more. His fingers slide through the flood of dampness between my legs, stroking into me and back out as he begins to move his hips, ever so slightly, withdrawing from my mouth and then returning.
I lash him with my tongue, which makes him tremble. Then I reach up to touch his balls and feel him get harder and wider in my mouth.
His tongue is relentless against my clit, his fingers stroking in and out of me. Then one of them is pressed against my back entrance, demanding entry. I’m on sensory overload, the orgasm that’s been brewing breaks free, and I’m thrashing under the weight of him, my moans against his shaft making him cry out.
I come down from the incredible high to his finger fully seated in my ass and his tongue stroking my clit.
When my body finally stops contracting, he withdraws his finger, stands upright and slides his penis out of my mouth. It’s shiny from my saliva and so hard it’s standing up straight against his belly button as he reaches for a condom. I’m still rippling and throbbing with the aftereffects of my release when he climbs onto the bed, gathers me up against him and slams into me, triggering another orgasm. He’s so hard and so big, my body struggles to accommodate and adjust.
“I love you so much, Nat. So fucking much.” His low growl against my ear is like an electrical current, setting of a new wave of desire that I feel in every part of my body. Gone is the cautious, tentative lover who’d worried about scaring me. In his place is Flynn Godfrey unleashed, and I love him this way. I love that I drove him to this by asking for something new. I love knowing he’s mine forever and no one else will ever know him the way I do.
He drives deep into me and freezes, his head thrown back and his eyes closed. “I’ve never felt anything better than this, Nat. Ever.”
“Me either.”
“Do you love it? You really love it?”
“I can’t get enough of you.”
“God, you make me crazy when you say things like that.” He bends over me, takes my nipple into his mouth and reaches down to where we’re joined to stroke my clit.
And just that fast, I feel the tension begin to build again. I squirm under him, trying to get him to move, but he won’t be coaxed. “Flynn…”
“What, honey?”
“I need you to move.”
“I will.”
“Now.”
He’s smiling when he kisses me.
I tug on his hair, hoping to get his attention so he’ll quit torturing me, but that only seems to make him harder inside me. Groaning, I close my eyes and try to breathe, wondering how it’s possible he can get any bigger than he already is. I feel like I’ve been impaled by him.
“I’m not moving until you come again.”
“I don’t know if I can again.”
“Then it’s going to be a long night.”
“Flynn…”
He pushes his hips against me, setting off waves of sensation that fall just short of a full-on release. “I can stay here all night.”
“Help me. Make me come.”
He lets loose with another of those low growls I love so much. “I love when you say shit like that.”
“I can tell. You just got even bigger.”
Hooking his arms under my legs, he opens me wider and slides in deeper. Then he bends over me and draws on my nipple, clamping down on it with his teeth. I discover a direct connection between my nipple and the place where we’re joined. I explode. I absolutely detonate. I come so hard that I scream from the sheer pleasure that rocks through me.
He releases my legs and starts to move again, until he’s coming, too. Pressing into me repeatedly until he lands on top of me, big and heavy and sweaty and all mine.
“You wiped me out,” he says after a long period of silence.
“You demolished me.”
“What do you think of engaged sex?”
“I’m a little afraid of what married sex might entail.”
He raises his head and smiles down at me. “You’ll find out soon enough.”
“I can’t wait.”
Chapter 10
Early on Monday morning, Flynn drives me into town for my appointment. I told him I’m too nervous about seeing a doctor to drive, and thankfully he didn’t push me. Despite the travel mug of coffee he made for me, I can’t stop yawning. We were up really late “celebrating” some more and then the alarm went off super early so I’d have time to shower and mentally prepare for this appointment.
We spent the whole day in bed yesterday, getting up only to shower and eat before going back for more. So in addition to being tired, I’m rather sore, too, which has me dreading the appointment that much more. I can’t even think about our exciting plans for later until the trip to the doctor is completed.
“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” he says. “I know it’s traumatic for you, and I hate the idea of you doing something for me that makes you so stressed out.”
“It’s no
t just for you. It’s for me, too. It’ll give us the kind of freedom all newlyweds should have.”
He shifts in his seat as if he’s uncomfortable or something.
I glance down to notice he’s hard. “That’s all it takes?” I ask with a laugh.
“All you have to do is look at me, and I’m hard. But when you talk about our sexual freedom… Well, I’m only human.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t wear him out completely yesterday.”
“He’s amazingly resilient. Can’t keep a good man down.”
I’m giggling madly by now as I engage in verbal foreplay for the first time in my life—and quickly realize I’m dealing with a master.
He brings our joined hands to his lips and nibbles on my fingers. “Yesterday was so much fun.”
“Yes, it was.”
“Tonight will be even more so.”
“I can’t imagine more.”
He has nothing to say to that, which leads me to wonder what he’s imagining. I know I’m a neophyte at all things sex, but I kept up with him pretty well until we finally fell asleep around four a.m. I worry about keeping him happy in bed. Will I be enough for him for the rest of our lives? God, I hope so. If he ever cheats on me, I’ll die.
My stomach aches when I recall the story he told me about infidelity on both sides when his marriage ended. He said then that giving his now ex-wife a taste of her own medicine hadn’t been his finest hour.
“What’s going on over there?”
I force a smile for him. “Nothing. Doctor jitters.”
“Are you sure that’s all it is?”
“Yeah.” I tell him what he needs to hear, but the worries weigh on me and stay with me when we go into a big brick building. The office staff greets us with utmost professionalism, even if they stare at Flynn like starstruck girls. We’ve agreed that I should remove my ring while we’re there, so the news of our engagement doesn’t leak before we’re prepared to go public. My hand already feels naked without the gorgeous ring I’ve zipped into a pocket in my purse.
After I complete a medical history form, get weighed and have my blood pressure taken, I’m shown to a room and asked to take a seat. The doctor will be in momentarily.
I sit in one of the chairs, and Flynn sits next to me, holding my hand.
Thankfully, she doesn’t make us wait long. A knock on the door precedes the doctor entering the room. She is younger than I expected her to be, a true Southern California girl with blonde hair and blue eyes.
“It’s so nice to meet you both,” she says, shaking our hands.
“Doc,” Flynn says, “you and the rest of the world know what Natalie’s been through in the past, but you should also be aware that this is the first time she’s been to a doctor since the night of her rape exam. She’s extremely nervous, which is why she asked me to be here.”
“Of course, I completely understand. Natalie, what brings you here today, other than the fact that you’re long overdue for an exam?”
“I… I’m interested in birth control.”
“Is this your first sexual relationship?”
I nod. “Yes.”
“And you’ve been using protection?”
“We have,” he says for me.
“Okay, that’s good to know.” She asks about my periods and if I’ve had any health issues, which, thankfully, I haven’t. “All right, then.” She retrieves a gown from a cabinet and places it on the table. “We’ll need everything off, okay?”
Though I’m already trembling, I nod and she heads for the door. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
For a long time after she leaves the room, I stare at the gown, remembering the last time I wore one as a broken, traumatized girl. The sight of a doctor’s gown takes me right back to that long-ago night.
“Sweetheart?”
I almost forgot he’s there.
“The table, the gown… Brings it all back.”
“Let’s not do this, Nat. Not today anyway.”
“No, I want to get it over with. I’ll have to do it eventually if we’re going to have babies.” I turn to him. “We are going to have babies, aren’t we?”
He smiles sweetly at me. “As many as you want, sweetheart.”
My heart soars from the way he looks at me when he says that. “Then I guess I need to get over my doctor phobia.” I reach for the hem of the dress I wore in deference to the foundation meeting we’re attending afterward.
“Let me.” Starting with my dress, he removes my clothing one item at a time and then wraps the cotton gown around me, tying it at my waist. “You’re sure you want me in here for this?”
“I’m very sure. I just hope you’ll still want to have sex with me afterward.”
He puts his arms around me and brings me in close to him, propping his chin on the top of my head. “I’ll always want to have sex with you.”
We’re still standing there when the doctor knocks and enters the room.
“If you’ll have a seat on the table for me.” She goes over to the sink to wash her hands and prepare for the exam.
As I sit on the table, I begin to tremble violently. I’m not sure I can go through with this.
“Mr. Godfrey, you can have a seat here.” She refers to a stool that she positions at the head of the table.
“Come here, sweetheart.”
I lie back into his welcoming arms, and he cradles my head so that neither of us can see what’s happening elsewhere.
“Is this okay?”
I breathe in the sexy scent of his cologne, which calms and centers me. “Yeah.”
The doctor is good about telling me everything she’s doing before she does it, beginning with a breast exam that would’ve mortified me if Flynn hadn’t kept his head down, resting against mine. I get the sense he doesn’t want to look any more than I do. She talks to me about breast self-examination and how important it is to be diligent about prevention.
I hear her and I’m listening, but my eyes are tightly shut and I’m willing my way through it, wanting it to be over as fast as possible. She settles between my legs, drops the end of the table and guides my feet into stirrups.
Flashbacks of the last time my feet were in stirrups come rushing back, stealing the breath from my lungs. I’m sobbing, and nothing has even happened yet.
“Take it easy, sweetheart.” Flynn strokes my face and hair as he talks softly to me.
“Shall we continue?” the doctor asks.
“Yes,” I say. “Please.”
She explains the Pap procedure in detail and asks if it’s okay to proceed.
“Yes.” I close my eyes and grit my teeth.
Flynn holds my hand and whispers to me about the fun we’re going to have in Vegas, how we’ll be married by this time tomorrow, how much he loves me.
I’m sore from yesterday’s lovemaking, so I flinch when the speculum enters me, but she moves quickly and efficiently to take the samples. It’s over before I can give in to the hysteria that’s hovering just below the surface.
“How’re you doing, Natalie?”
“Okay,” I manage to say, though my jaw is locked.
“Now just two fingers to examine your uterus and ovaries.” Like before, she is quick but thorough. “Everything looks good, Natalie. You can sit up now.”
I’m still shaking, but the relief is profound. I did it. I got through it. She goes over my options for birth control, and after Flynn and I discuss it, we agree on a three-month injection, which will be fully effective in a week. Her nurse enters the room and gives me the shot.
The doctor surprises me when she hands me a written prescription. “Take this the next time you need to see a doctor. It’ll help to settle your nerves.”
“Thank you so much for your patience.”
“You’re very welcome. I hope you know it’s very common for sexual assault survivors to have doctor phobias after withstanding the assault and the rape exam. It’s not just you, honey.” She hands me her business card. “
Please call if there’s anything I can do for you. My cell number is on the back. Call any time.”
“Thank you so much.”
“Yes, thank you,” Flynn says. “We appreciate your sensitivity.”
“It was a pleasure to meet you both.” She starts to leave the room but turns back. “What happened to you this week, Natalie… That kind of thing can be a trigger that reopens old wounds. Take good care of yourself, and please call if I can be of any assistance.”
“I will. Thank you again.”
“Take all the time you need in here,” she says before she leaves the room, closing the door behind her.
My hands are shaking so badly, I have to rely on Flynn to help me into my clothes. He works with silent determination to get me dressed. The dress comes over my head, and he adjusts it until it’s where it’s supposed to be. With a hand on either side of me on the exam table, he drops his head onto my shoulder as if he needs a moment to collect himself.
I run my fingers through his hair.
“I’m so sorry, Nat. I never should’ve let you go through this.”
“I would’ve had to do it eventually.”
“But you didn’t have to do it today.”
“I’m glad I did. I got the first time over with, and now we’ll soon be protected, too.”
He withdraws a piece of paper from his pocket, unfolds it and hands it to me.
“What’s this?”
“Proof that I’m clean. My doctor sent it over this morning. I had the testing done in New York.”
“A fresh, clean start for our married life.”
“Yes, exactly.”
“You said you did this in New York, but you only asked me to marry you yesterday.”
“I knew by the third time I saw you that there was no going back. You’re it for me.” He bends his knees so he can look directly into my eyes. “Are you okay? I would totally understand if you wanted to postpone our plans for today because you don’t feel up to it.”
“I’m okay now that it’s over, and you’re not getting out of marrying me today.”
He breathes a sigh of relief as he hugs me. “Thank God.”
Watching Natalie endure that exam was about the most torturous thing I’ve ever been through in my life. I can’t begin to know what it must’ve been like for her. We’re on our way to the Quantum offices for a meeting with the group that will soon make up the board of directors for my hunger foundation.