by A. Destiny
My heart thudded. I knew that was coming. “Not bad. Uh, practice is going well. We’re working hard at blocking and memorizing. He’s really good at it.”
“Does he have his outfit yet?”
“I have no idea.” I started stitching the lace to my sleeve. “We haven’t talked about it or anything.”
There was an awkward silence for several beats.
“Are you guys practicing a lot?” The words themselves were said lightly enough, but there was an undercurrent of an edge in her tone. This conversation was veering far too close to quicksand.
“As much as we have to,” I said, trying to keep the irritation out of my voice. She was needling for information on something I thought we weren’t going to discuss. Couldn’t we have one day, one hour, go by where that tension wasn’t there?
“What’s wrong?” She put down her dress and eyed me. “Is there a problem discussing Jason?”
I put my sleeve down. “No, why would there be?”
“Is something going on?”
I bit my lip, took slow breaths to regulate my heart rate. “There isn’t anything going on.” Except a party I’m going to see him at on Friday night. And the almost-kiss. And our not-date date. So many secrets piling up.
And the biggest one of all—my feelings toward him.
Olivia raised her eyebrow. I could see one side of her jaw twitching, something she does when she gets frustrated. “If there’s nothing going on, why are you dodging talking about him?”
I huffed a sigh. “I’m not trying to dodge it. I just don’t want to talk about him for one day, okay?” Why couldn’t she let it go? It was like she wanted me to confess everything I was feeling. But I was so not ready for that.
Things were far too unstable, too unsettled for me to even think about that as an option right now. I wasn’t ready for the real possibility of Olivia blowing up at me.
“Fine,” she finally said. But the stubborn set to her jaw told me it wasn’t fine. And this was not going to go away anytime soon.
We sewed in silence for another twenty minutes or so, not talking, wrapped up in our own thoughts. My stomach was clenched so tightly it was a wonder I could breathe. I kept getting distracted, stabbing my finger with the needle. This lace was going to be spattered with blood if I didn’t watch it.
I finished attaching the lace on the second sleeve then cleaned up the mess around me. “I need to go,” I said. “I have a lot of homework to finish up.” Not quite the truth—I’d done most of it before coming over. But I was tired of the awkwardness.
It had started out so nicely and went downhill so quickly. And all because of Jason. While I wanted to be frustrated and angry with him, it wasn’t his fault. He had no idea how either of us felt about him.
She and I were in a silent competition with each other, Olivia trying to make me talk—and me trying to stay mum.
Things weren’t going to last like this much longer.
Chapter Fifteen
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been so nervous.
I sat perched on the edge of the couch, heart racing so hard it was thundering in my ears. I eyed my outfit once more to make sure it didn’t look too doofy. Black flats, jeans, a flowing sheer white shirt with a tank top underneath. Simple and hopefully not looking like I was trying too hard.
This was going to be a very different way to see Jason. I hadn’t told him I was coming to the party, unsure how to broach the subject all this week. It might have looked like I was trying to flirt with him. Maybe he didn’t even want to hang out with me—after all, most of our free time was spent together in play practice.
I wasn’t sure I could face the rejection, so I simply kept silent.
The doorbell rang.
I jumped up and flung the door open. Lauretta grinned at me, her hair swept up in a messy ponytail. She looked adorable in high heels, ripped jeans, and a hot-pink shirt with skulls and hearts plastered across it.
“Omigod, you look fabulous!” she said, hugging me. “This party is going to be so much fun. Ready?”
I nodded. “As I’ll ever be, I guess.”
Mom darted out of the kitchen, eyeing me closely. Apparently I passed the inspection because she gave me a hug. “You two behave. No shenanigans. And you know what I mean.”
“Mom,” I said with a laugh, rolling my eyes. “Come on.”
Lauretta crossed her fingers over her heart. “I swear to you, no shenanigans. Or tomfoolery, even.”
She raised an eyebrow at me then Lauretta, but her face was relaxed. She loved Lauretta. “You two are trouble together, aren’t you. Have fun and be home on time. Don’t be late. And keep your phone on.”
“It’s all charged up,” I said, suddenly antsy to go. I darted to the door. “Okay, bye, Mom!”
The drive there seemed to take forever. While Lauretta’s older brother, Carlos, drove us to the house, Lauretta and I talked about everything going on in school this week—progress on the Renaissance faire, things we’d heard about who was dating and who’d broken up, and so on.
By tacit agreement, neither of us mentioned Jason. Now that she knew my feelings for him since I’d finally fessed up, she was maintaining a respectful space, letting me guide the conversation about him. But I knew if I wanted to talk, she’d listen.
It was a gift I gratefully appreciated.
I double-checked my purse to make sure the birthday card I’d gotten her cousin Jennifer was in there, with some money tucked inside. I’d never met her, but it seemed like a nice idea to not come empty-handed.
Carlos pulled into a cute neighborhood and drove another minute or two before parallel parking into a spot on the street. “Okay,” he said, turning the car off. His grin was as wide as his sister’s, and except for the scruffy dark-brown hair, he looked just like her. “We’re here.”
“Thanks for driving us,” I said to him.
“You don’t have to thank him,” Lauretta whispered. “He’s my brother. Mom made him drive me.”
I laughed. “Still, doesn’t hurt to be polite, right?”
Carlos gave me a smug smile, ignoring his sister. “And thank you for having manners.”
My heart thrummed in my chest as we made our way down the street and to Jennifer’s house. I could hear sounds of the band warming up out back, a guitar tuning up, drums and cymbals being pattered on. Luckily there weren’t close neighbors nearby, with ample yard space nestled between each house, so no one would get bothered by the noise.
Carlos and Lauretta just walked right in, so I followed them into an open-floored living room and kitchen. It was nice and comfy, with plush couches and chairs set up everywhere. Teens milled around, laughing, drinking soda, and talking loudly. I recognized a few people from school too.
Wow, this place was packed. Jennifer must be one popular girl.
“I think the band’s getting started,” Lauretta said, leaning in close to my ear. “We should grab a drink, find Jennifer to say hi, then head back.”
I nodded, suddenly nervous enough to want to put off seeing Jason for a few minutes. I needed some time to collect myself first.
We made our way into the kitchen, grabbing a couple of ice-cold soda cans from the fridge. Lauretta squealed and ran over to hug a tall blond girl.
“Jennifer!” she said. “You look fabulous. Happy birthday!”
I waved at her. “Hi, I’m Lauretta’s friend,” I said, fishing into my purse to give her my card. “Thanks for letting me come over!”
She beamed. “You didn’t have to get me a card—that was so nice of you!” Apparently, niceness ran in the family. She was just as open and sweet as Lauretta. “You guys eat, drink, and enjoy. Have fun! We’re having pizza delivered soon too, so I hope you’re hungry.”
After giving a parting wave, I made my way to the sliding glass doors, Lauretta right in front of me, clenching my free hand.
“Don’t be nervous,” she said quietly, peeking at me over her shoulder and giving my suddenly c
hilly fingers a big squeeze. “It’ll be fine, promise. He’ll be happy to see you, I’m sure.”
I blinked. Wasn’t sure why I was surprised she’d figured out the core of my fear, though—Lauretta was pretty intuitive. “Thanks,” I whispered.
We headed outside, into the dark, warm air. Stars sparkled above us, and there were several large trees in the backyard providing an ambient environment. On the far left against the corner of the house was the band. I didn’t know the lead guitar, but I recognized the drummer as someone from our school. I think he was a junior.
And there was Jason, wearing dark jeans, solid black boots, and a faded black T-shirt. The muscles in his arms stretched and moved as he did last-minute tweaks to tune his bass. His hair was mussed by the breeze, making him look much more casual and relaxed than usual. I swallowed.
That guy was the lead in our school play.
And I was going to be kissing him.
My heart rate picked up again, fluttering so fast I pressed a hand to my chest to soothe it.
The guys on the makeshift stage whispered to each other. Several girls lined up in front of them, bouncing on toes excitedly, giggling and staring at the musicians. I couldn’t help but laugh at the sight. Didn’t matter how famous the band was—there were always groupies.
The drummer clicked off the beat on his sticks, and they started to play. It was an upbeat song, one I’d never heard before—an original? How cool. I found myself being drawn closer to the band, Lauretta close at my side. We watched in silence, bopping our heads to the beat.
Jason stood off to the back, fingers plucking away at the bass. He looked natural up there. A real star. There was a crooked grin on his face as he bobbed his head to the music too, eyes just barely open. He was caught up in the music.
And I was totally caught up in him.
I exhaled a ragged breath. Wow, he could really play. He had a great ear for rhythm. I didn’t know why he was so nervous talking to me about his music before. He was actually talented.
It would probably be fun a lot of to play a song with him sometime.
The lead singer moved up to the mic and began singing. The girls in front jumped up and down, squealing and dancing. Lauretta and I found ourselves doing the same, giving each other careless grins as we moved to the music.
The song was catchy, superfun. Just the right amount of clever lyrics to memorable lines. How had I never seen this band before?
The music went on for a good half hour. The band played a great mix of upbeat stuff, following up that first, original song with a string of covers. Jason was rocking his bass, eyes scanning the crowd. I was too far back for him to see me, which was good. It gave me a chance to relax and watch him perform.
“Thanks for listening! We’re Eon, and we’ll be back after a break.” With that, the lead singer popped a CD into a sound system and hit PLAY. Dance music flooded the backyard, and the girls kept dancing.
I tugged on Lauretta’s hand. “Let’s move away before . . .” Before he saw us. I was still unsure how to approach Jason, especially after seeing the way the girls were gushing over the band right now during their break. I didn’t need to look like a groupie.
Though I had to admit, I was starting to envy the attention they were getting. Jason walked over into a small group of girls and started talking. His hands were moving, his face animated as he spoke. Whatever he was discussing was something he felt passionately about.
One girl, a thin brunette, rested her hand on his upper arm and leaned in close. My stomach sank and I turned away.
“Wanna go freshen up our drinks?” Lauretta asked.
Relieved to escape the scene, I nodded.
We slipped back inside, me wrestling with my inner self. I had no right to feel jealous. He and I were nothing more than friends. Of course he could talk to anyone he wanted. I had no claim on him.
Though I longed for one, even if it was devastatingly apparent he didn’t.
With a shaky hand I grabbed another soda. I wanted us to get closer. I wanted to drop all my guards and see if he liked me too. And if he did, I wanted to let this feeling grow into that one word I didn’t dare let myself think, much less say.
“Oh!” Lauretta said after taking a sip of her drink, nodding toward the back corner of the living room. “I see some of my friends over there. Wanna go over and talk?”
“No, go on ahead,” I told her. She was being supersweet, sticking by my side, but I didn’t want to inhibit her fun. “I’m going to stand outside for a little bit and get some fresh air.”
“You sure?”
“Absolutely.” I waved her off with a stern look on my face. “Go now, young lady. Don’t make me tell you twice.”
She saluted. “Yes, ma’am.” Bounding off to the living room, she squealed as she ran over and hugged a group of guys and girls.
I grinned and headed back outside. The band had dispersed, taking its groupies with it, and a softer song had come on. There were only a few people out here now. I walked over to one of the large trees and scooted down between its roots, breathing in the warm scents of grass and flowers. Jennifer’s family had a small garden back here, and lilacs were blooming, perfuming the air.
“Nice and quiet back here, isn’t it,” a low, resonant voice said from just behind and above me.
I spun and looked up. It was Jason, smiling down at me. His face was backlit, the light from the moon and back of the house illuminating just the fringes of his hair and small parts of his nose, brow, and chin.
My heartbeat picked up and kicked into overdrive. “How did you know I was here?” I asked.
“I saw you. Tried to come talk to you after the set, but you’d already gone inside.” He dropped down to sit by me. His warm cologne wafted over, mingling with the grass and flower scents.
He tried to find me? What did he want to talk about?
“I didn’t know you were coming,” he continued. “I saw you while I was playing. You should have told me.”
I shrugged and said lightly, “Didn’t need to feed your ego. You already have a bunch of girls clamoring for your attention.”
He nudged me with his shoulder; heat permeated my upper arm from the contact. “But you’re my biggest fan. I would have dedicated a song to you, you know.”
I snorted a laugh. “Imagine how jealous my mom would be!”
“So . . .” His voice dropped down a bit. “Did you . . . did you like our music? We’re still rehearsing and need to practice more, I know.”
“Oh, it was great,” I gushed, reaching out to pat his hand in comfort. Then I realized what I was doing—geez, I was touching him. Could I be any more forward?
I went to take my hand away, but he reached out and drew it closer into his.
“I’m glad you’re here, Abbey,” he whispered.
My pulse throbbed so hard in my body that I could barely hear him. All I could focus on was the softness of his breath, the way his thumb was stroking the inside of my palm. The earnestness of his words.
“I’m glad I’m here too,” I said back.
“I want to know more about you.” He lifted his free hand to scrub the back of his neck. “I feel like you know a lot about me, but you’re still a little mysterious.”
“What do you want to know?” I couldn’t believe I was making conversation with Jason. I couldn’t believe we were sitting here under this tree, moonlight spilling around us, him holding my hand like it was the most natural, casual thing in the world.
And all I wanted to do was lean closer. It took every ounce of strength in me to stay where I was, to not give in and rest against his lean body. But I had to keep myself cool and focused. As best as possible, anyway.
“Okay. What is your favorite pastime? Other than violin and staring romantically at me during play practice,” he added.
I rolled my eyes, glad for his joking. It helped ease me back into a comfortable space. “Um, when I get really bored, I play a lot of solitaire.”
“T
hat sounds so lonely,” he said, voice rich with empathy. “We need to find you more friends.”
“Hardy har. It’s a great way to kill some time and be by myself. I know probably at least a dozen different solitaire card games.”
“Wow, really?” This time he sounded impressed.
I nodded. “My favorite is killer solitaire. It’s brutal—look it up sometime. What about you? How do you fill the time between all your adoring girl fans?”
“Well,” he drawled, “there is so little time left after all of that.”
I shoved against his shoulder.
“Kidding, kidding.” He resumed caressing my hand, his thumb making light swirls against the lower pad of my palm. “I like video games when I’m not practicing bass. Um, I also hang out with my brother—he’s a handful, as you already know.” He paused. “I guess I don’t have anything else I really do consistently. You’ll have to teach me some solitaire games.”
I swallowed at the promise in his words. “I’d like that.”
He looked at me, glancing at my mouth briefly. “I would too. Abbey—”
“Jason!” a deep voice said from the far end of the yard by the house. The lead singer, it seemed, from the tone. “It’s time to start our second set.”
He looked over at me, eyes filled with regret. “Can we pick this conversation up later?”
There wasn’t anything I could do but nod.
He stood up, giving my hand one last brush before letting it go. With a smile and a nod, he headed back over to the makeshift stage, and I heard the tuning plucks of his bass a moment later.
I sat in place at the bottom of the tree for several minutes, pressing my hand to my heart. His cologne still lingered in the air, like he’d left part of himself behind. My stomach fluttered like it was filled with a dozen butterflies, clamoring to break free. I was bursting with life and a bunch of emotions deep in my core, ones that made me want to stand up and shout with happiness.
I couldn’t deny what I was feeling any longer.
I was head over heels in love with Jason.
Chapter Sixteen
The rest of my weekend was spent in a glowing haze. After the band’s next set at the birthday party on Friday night, Jason and I had talked for at least a couple of hours until it was time for me to go. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d laughed so hard or felt so close to someone.