They hadn’t been back that long. How the hell had the boys managed this? The kitchen was even worse—used plates, bowls, and silverware covered the countertops.
“Kellan? Brady?” Gavin called, heading up the stairs to their bedroom.
“Rach?” Travis called, and goddamn it, his voice cracked a little.
He followed Gavin up the stairs. The boys had strategically placed themselves in their beanbag chairs, playing some game with cars and lots of crashes.
“When you do it like this, the car explodes.” Kellan screeched and made explosion sounds, puffing his cheeks and throwing his whole body into the turn.
Brady laughed hysterically at the ensuing explosion.
He laughed so loud, Pete gave a bark from where he and Re-Pete were lounging at their feet.
Everyone seemed fine.
“Where’s your mom?” Travis asked, his blood pressure absolutely not fine.
“What’re you doing here, Uncle Trav?” Kellan asked, his eyes wide.
“He asked where your mom is.” Gavin said, turning off the television so they had to give him all their attention.
“Um…” Brady looked to Kellan.
“In her room sleeping,” Kellan said. “I think. That’s where she was when we took her lunch.”
“We brought her toast,” Brady added. “She wanted it plain.”
Travis hurried to her room. He didn’t bother knocking, just pulled open the door and waited for his eyes to adjust to the darkness.
“Rach?” He said her name low, gentle, and did his best to keep the building feeling of terror from his tone.
She groaned from under the blankets. He moved to her. “Rach, sunshine, it’s me.”
The two pieces of toast were on the nightstand, untouched. The boys had also, apparently, brought her an apple juice box. Also untouched, since the straw was still in the wrapper.
“I’m gross, go away.” Rachel didn’t move, and the words were raspy.
He knelt beside the bed, careful not to move the mattress, and pressed the back of his hand against her forehead. He did it just like she’d done for him at the lake. Her forehead was slick with sweat, and her skin was on fire. “How long have you been like this?”
“Really sick.” Her words were a croak. “Just need to get better. Don’t look at me.”
She wasn’t gross. She could never be gross. “I’m going to look at you because you’re beautiful, and I’m worried.”
He started to lift her in his arms so he could get her into his car. Take her someplace where there was a doctor and medicine and people who could help fix whatever was wrong with her.
“What are you doing?” She pushed away from him.
“Taking you to the hospital.”
She batted his hands away, but there was no force behind the movement. “It’s just a bug. I don’t need to go anywhere. I just need my bed and the dark and sleep.”
“Rach, you’re burning up.” He set her back down on the bed and pressed his hand against her forehead again. Still slick, still hot, and her skin was pale and flushed.
She sighed, pointing to the thermometer on the nightstand. “I’ve been watching it. It’s not bad.”
He grabbed the thermometer and ran it over her forehead. “It’s at a hundred and one. We need to get you to a doctor.”
His thoughts were all jumbled. He needed to do something. Something that would make a difference. Something to make Rachel healthy again.
“Travis says it’s a hundred and one.” Gavin spoke from the hallway, just outside the door.
He was speaking into his cell, hopefully to a physician who could fix this. Because they needed to find a solution, so Rachel could go back to being Rachel again.
“Brady says she’s been like this since right after they got home.” Gavin nodded at something whoever was on the other end of the line said. “Yeah, the house is a total train wreck.”
Rachel groaned at that announcement.
“We’ll help the boys clean it up.” Travis kept his tone soft, because he was pretty sure if she felt like he had when he’d had the bug, she probably had a decent headache happening along with the fever.
“What did the doctor say?” he asked when Gavin was off the phone.
“Mama says to get a cool washcloth for her head, ibuprofen for the fever if she can keep it down, and a popsicle for dehydration.” Gavin shifted on his feet.
Well, crap. He’d called their mother.
“She also said she’s on her way,” Gavin continued, and this time he sounded apologetic.
Rachel groaned louder. “Maybe let’s do the doctor thing. A hospital visit sounds fabulous. Maybe they’ll even poke me with a bunch of needles.”
“Mama’s really good when someone’s sick.” Travis reached for Rachel’s hand.
She let him hold on to it, not moving or batting him away when he slipped his palm against hers.
“I’m fine. I’m up. I don’t need Evelyn’s help.” She started to lift herself to a sitting position, apparently ready to illustrate how fine she was.
Then she swayed a little and fell back to the bed. “I think I’m just going to lie here. If your mom’s coming over, can somebody go get me a bell?”
He was absolutely not going to give her a bell—she’d probably bonk his mother over the noggin with it.
When Travis had been sick, he hadn’t wanted anyone to touch him, move him, or talk to him. Rachel had managed all of that while still taking care of him and everyone else.
Perhaps it was time they all took care of her for a change.
“Rach,” he said, wanting to touch her so badly, it bordered on painful. “Can I stay here with you?”
It was subtle, but she nodded. “Someone’s got to play interference with your mother.”
“I think she’s feeling bad about how it went up at the lake,” he said.
And she should, because she was a total… How would Rachel say it? Puffle Yum Momster.
“Can you bring me my computer? It’s on my desk,” Rachel said into the pillow, the words muffled.
He touched the crown of her head, gently so he wouldn’t make the room spin. “You need to rest, not work.”
“I need to email my client.” She turned so her mouth wasn’t pressed into the pillow.
Travis winced at the way she said, “my client.” The one client. The last one. Travis wanted to fix this for her, but she didn’t want him to. The truth of the matter was that she didn’t need him to. Rachel would fix it. He knew she could.
“To let him know I’m out right now.”
Ah. Well, that made sense. If she wasn’t answering for Travis, she probably wouldn’t answer for her client, either.
“Can I take it back downstairs as soon as you’re done?” He moved his hand lightly over the knots in her hair.
She gave him a look that would melt the plastic right off a light switch.
“So you can rest,” he added, removing his hand from her hair. “And get better.”
The glare continued.
“Rach.” He moved so they were face-to-face. “What would you tell me to do if I were the sick one?”
She grunted. “Fine. One email and you can put it away.”
“That’s my girl,” he said softly. “Leaning in to self-care.”
“If you start talking about airplanes and me needing to put my own oxygen mask on first, you can stop now. Molly gives me that lecture all the time.”
“Ahh…” He pressed a kiss against her forehead. “But Molly is not a licensed pilot.”
Rachel smiled then. A barely there lift of the edges of her lips before she closed her eyes again.
“It’s nice doing business with you,” he whispered.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
“There’s a lot of space between all
or nothing.” — Denise, California, USA
Rachel
The first thing Rachel noticed was that her body felt like it’d been through a war, childbirth, and a plane crash simultaneously. Still, remarkably, this was an improvement from the day before.
The second thing Rachel noticed was there was a man in her bed.
Travis.
His eyes were closed, his breaths even. He seemed…peaceful.
She smiled.
He hadn’t gotten under the blankets with her. No, he was sleeping on top of the comforter, fully clothed, breathing softly.
The third thing Rachel noticed was that she liked waking up next to him.
They’d had sex, cuddled after, but she’d never seen him sleep. Not deeply. Not like this.
There was the time when he was recovering on the sofa up at the Lakes. But that hardly counted, given his broken sleep, her boys and Gavin slept in the same room, and she cared for them all.
She reached for the thermometer and took her temperature.
Normal.
Totally normal.
As though the past day hadn’t even happened.
“How are you feeling, sunshine?” Travis asked, his voice rough from sleep.
She turned to him. “Like I need to invest in a bell.”
He smiled. “Mama found the container of peach tarts and has convinced herself that she’s responsible for poisoning all of us.”
“But I didn’t eat one.” Rachel moved to sit up, and the room didn’t even spin. “Not after watching all of you deal with the aftermath. I put them in the fridge, but I didn’t eat any.”
Travis leaned on an elbow, reaching out with his other hand to push her hair behind her ear. “Let’s not tell Mama that part, yeah?”
Rachel laughed. “You’re being bad.”
“You have no idea how bad I can be.”
She wavered a little as she stood to make her way to a shower and then some dry toast. “I think I have a pretty good idea.” She rolled her tongue over her bottom lip before saying, “When I don’t feel like I just rose from the dead, do you…uh…want to look for a toothbrush with me?”
His expression was one of total sincerity. “I want to look for all the toothbrushes with you.”
That declaration made her warm all over. And for a moment, she forgot how crappy she felt otherwise.
Then her cell rang from her nightstand. He’d placed it on top of her laptop at some point.
She raised her eyes to meet his.
“I brought it up last night after you’d slept for a solid seven hours.”
That was…sweet.
She glanced at the screen of her cell.
“Kaiya?” Rachel said.
“Rachel,” Kaiya said, excited like always. “Molly said you’re back in town.”
“I am. Hey, sorry I haven’t gotten back to you. Things went a little sideways this summer.”
Travis stood, his gaze holding hers as he moved behind her and pressed a kiss to the back of her neck. Then he moved to pull on his shirt.
“I wasn’t calling about that,” Kaiya said, even as Rachel’s gaze tracked Travis’s movements. “Molly said you do the personal assistant thing, and I’m drowning over here. I was hoping we might be able to talk? I just hit international sales director level. Now there are all these meetings I’m trying to keep track of, and orders to put through, and I could just really use some help.”
Oh, well… Rachel helped. That’s what Rachel did. She rolled her tongue over her bottom lip, widening her eyes in Travis’s direction. This was good. Great, even. Fantastic.
“I’d love to talk to you about what I do,” Rachel said, hoping to keep an air of professionalism even as her heart beat faster. She grabbed a pen and made a new list so the sieve of her mind wouldn’t forget this later. “I’m getting over this stomach bug thing, but can we get together later this week?”
“Yes.” Kaiya’s voice filled with her smile. “Absolutely. That would be amazing. Also…”
“What’s up?”
“This is weird…” Kaiya let out a sigh. “I told myself I wouldn’t make this weird.”
“It’s okay, you can tell me whatever you need.”
“I know some of your other clients had been difficult in the past.” The smile in Kaiya’s voice dimmed, just a little. Barely noticeable, really. But Rachel did notice.
“I just wanted to assure you that I’m not a dick with work stuff,” Kaiya finished.
Rachel grinned. She glanced at Travis and smiled bigger because he was standing there in her bedroom. He looked as happy as she felt inside. “I appreciate that.”
She wrapped up the call with a promise to meet later, and then she met Travis’s gaze once more.
“That sounded promising,” he said, not moving, just standing there like he belonged.
Which, for the record, he did.
“Maybe things will work out, after all,” Rachel mused.
“For now Mama’s also being extra nice,” he said. “She was worried about you yesterday and made it a point not to leave until your fever broke. I think she’s coming around to you and me being an us.”
Rachel turned back. “Seriously?”
“She spent a lot of time yesterday cleaning up downstairs. Man, your boys were like an unsupervised tornado while you were out.”
Gah. This was exactly why she couldn’t get sick. Ever. Ever again.
Speaking of… “Where are the kids?”
“Gavin took them to his house with the dogs. They wanted to make you lunch today. Brady suggested they grab you some soup from that place you like over on Champa.”
The thought of food was not a welcome one. For the first time since she could remember, “I’m not ready to think about eating just yet.”
“When you are, they’re waiting for the go-ahead.”
She grabbed new clothes from her dresser—nothing special, just a clean set of yoga pants and a sleeveless T-shirt with a shelf bra built in. “Thank you for staying.”
Travis swallowed, the Adam’s apple in his throat bobbing up and down. “I think we need to discuss that.”
“The staying?” She wasn’t following.
“The fact that I don’t want to leave.”
Oh. That.
“Do you think we’re at the stage of the relationship where we should be having sleepovers?” she asked. “I don’t want to confuse the boys. Maybe we’re more at the almost-sleepover stage of things.”
“Were they confused when Dakota and Gavin had sleepovers?”
She shook her head. “It’s totally different.”
“Because I’m their uncle?” he asked.
“Because I’m their mom.”
He sauntered toward her. Well, he stalked, really. Then he wielded the southern. “Rach. I’m not goin’ to push you on this. But I want you to know that I want this, when you’re ready to give it. I want it all, and I’m ready to wait.”
She couldn’t bring herself to meet his eyes.
“Rach,” he said, his voice serious.
She met his gaze, and he didn’t quite look like himself.
“You just let me know, okay?”
Oh.
Oh, no.
“I’m not…” She was so not ready for that. Not at all. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be…”
He didn’t seem disappointed. Not at all. And that was weird. It was weird, right? Yes, odd. Except, this just felt like a conversation, not a grand declaration of love.
“You just let me know.” he said, pinning her in place with his gaze. “I won’t ask again.”
Oh.
A lump formed in her throat.
He moved his palm against her jaw. She couldn’t help it, she turned her cheek in to his touch.
“Okay,�
� she murmured against his hand.
“Okay.” The conversation apparently done, Travis headed for the hallway. “Just toast?”
She nodded, even though he couldn’t see her. “Yes. Nothing heavy. Just…toast. Maybe some tea?”
“All right then. Toast and tea.” He gave her a flash of a grin that made her seriously wish she wasn’t on a dry toast diet because she sorta wanted to jump him right then.
And given her previous day’s activities, that was a horrible idea.
So she went to shower instead. This time, she didn’t step on the scale first, because there was nothing it could tell her she didn’t already know.
She was probably always going to have her curves, and it didn’t matter, because she was finding she also had a whole heaping of happy. So she was going to hold on tight to it for as long as it let her.
The thing about perfection, she realized, staring at that damn scale, was that it didn’t really exist. It’s a phantom that drove her to try to do better when she was doing her very best to begin with.
Turned out, sometimes making a mess of things actually made her happier.
Chapter Thirty
“Pretty much all the things I say as a mom are ‘things I didn’t expect to say.’ ‘Stop punching your brother in the penis’ is a favorite.” — Shasta, New Hampshire, USA
Rachel
“The Puffle Yum Momster poisoned you?” Molly said…well…really, she shrieked the statement. She punctuated this shriek by smacking two hands on the table in front of her.
Rachel shushed her. “The boys will hear you. And, no, she didn’t actually poison me, but she thinks she did. Thus, she’s now being super awesome.”
So far, Evelyn had not brought up Gavin plus Rachel equals true love since they’d been back. She also offered to take the boys for an evening so Travis and Rachel could have some time alone. More than that, she’d added Rachel to the family text chain.
This last one was both a blessing and a curse.
Turned out, Evelyn texted her kids a lot.
“I’m confused,” Kaiya said. Turned out she sold the hell out of skin care products. Who knew?
And she needed a whole lot of Rachel’s help. During working hours.
Kaiya had no problems with boundaries and set her own firm office hours. It made for an excellent working relationship.
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