“See you soon, and I’ll keep you posted on what I decide about the remodel.”
“Do that. And tell your folks hi for me when you talk to them.”
“I will.”
If she called them. In truth, she’d been avoiding it, but that would work for only so long. She was surprised they hadn’t already called her. The rumor mill worked far too well in Snowberry Creek for them not to have heard all about her walking hand in hand with Nick, not to mention having added a second soldier to her list of houseguests.
Yeah, she should phone them and explain what was going on. But how could she when she wasn’t sure herself? There was no use in making the call until she had some answers. That was her excuse, and she was sticking to it.
Chapter 24
Well, Callie certainly hadn’t wasted any time. It was just yesterday that Nick had given her his list of the jobs that needed to be done. Now, less than twenty-four hours later, she was in the process of getting her third estimate for the job.
He shouldn’t be mad about it. Hell, he’d even told her she should talk to other contractors. Still, it pissed him off, even if he had no cause to be angry. It didn’t help to remind himself that experience had taught him that a man couldn’t expect to win every job he bid on. Win some; lose some.
But damn, he wanted to win this one. Needed to win this one. It was Nick’s duty to make sure Spence’s woman was taken care of, because the man couldn’t be there to do it himself.
Rather than watch Callie trailing along behind the contractor, Nick turned his attention back to painting the gazebo. He had only a little more to do. Once this first coat dried, he’d be able to start the final one. Unless it rained, he’d be done tomorrow. So maybe it was time to start making plans for the long drive back to Ohio.
His parents had left him another message asking when he’d be coming back home. How could he tell them the truth—that home really wasn’t home anymore? Not for him. Until he figured that out, he ignored both the call and his conscience, which was telling him he shouldn’t be worrying them like this.
The sound of an engine starting told him the contractor was leaving. He forced himself to keep painting, figuring Callie would seek him out when and if she wanted to talk about anything. After a few minutes, he looked around but didn’t see her anywhere.
Instead, Leif was headed his way, holding up his cell phone, wiggling it in the air, and mouthing, “It’s your mom.” Rats. She had obviously done an end run and called Leif since Nick wasn’t answering. He climbed down off the ladder and held out his hand for the phone.
“Hi, Mom.”
Leif looked apologetic before retreating to sit on the porch steps, probably thinking Nick wanted privacy. He appreciated the gesture, but there wasn’t anything he needed to say to his parents that he hadn’t already told Leif. He then realized Mom was already talking, and he’d missed everything she’d said.
“Whoa, Mom, slow down. I was climbing down off a ladder and missed that.”
She sounded exasperated when she repeated herself, speaking slowly to make sure he didn’t miss a word this time. “I asked when you were coming home. My friend from church has a daughter your age who will be in town for a visit week after next. I thought it would be nice if you showed her around the area.”
He closed his eyes and prayed for patience. Even if he was in town, he had no interest in being fixed up with some random woman.
“My plans are still up in the air, Mom. I’ll have to get back to you on when I’ll have time to stop by for another visit.”
Normally, his mom was pretty easygoing, but evidently she’d lost all patience with him. “Sorry, Nick, but that’s just not acceptable. And for your information, this isn’t where you visit. This is where you live. Besides, I’ve already told my friend that you’ll be glad to have dinner with her daughter. I’m not sure why you’re hanging around out there in Washington, but this is your home. This is where you belong. I want my son back.”
Then she stopped for a second, and he heard what he was convinced was a sob coming from the other end of the line. His anger melted away, leaving him floundering for a response that wouldn’t hurt her even more.
He couldn’t tell her the truth about what had happened back in Afghanistan. That was his burden to bear, not hers, not his father’s.
“I know you do, Mom. I’m trying. I really am.”
Another sob, but then her voice grew stronger. “When will you be here, Nick? And I won’t settle for some vague promise. Give me a date.”
“I can’t, Mom. Not yet. I should know more about my plans in a few days. When I do, I promise I’ll call.”
“But, Nick—”
Okay, now he was choking on the words he needed to say. “I’m doing fine. Okay, not fine, but better. Leif and I are doing some work on Spence’s house for Callie. It feels really good to be swinging a hammer again. Tell Dad all that time working for him is finally paying off for me.”
The silence from the other end of the line dragged on for several seconds. Finally, it sounded as if she was handing the phone off to someone.
“Nick, it’s Dad. What the hell did you say to your mom? She’s crying.”
“I told her I couldn’t promise to be back in time to escort her friend’s daughter around. I’m doing some work on Spence’s house for his friend Callie, and I’m not sure how long it will take. I promised to call more often and to let her know when my plans are set.”
“Damn it, Nick, she can’t sleep nights for worrying about you. Get your ass back here where it belongs.”
Okay, so much for controlling his temper. “Dad, I’m not some sixteen-year-old kid you can order around for breaking curfew. I’m a grown man and have been for a long time. I’m sorry I’m making Mom unhappy, but trust me when I tell you that I’m not ready to come home. It isn’t that I don’t want to. It’s that I can’t.”
He’d run out of breath and anger. Breathing in slowly, he hunted for the right words to make everyone happy. He couldn’t find them.
“Dad, tell Mom I’m sorry. I love you both, but right now I need to be here. When that changes, I’ll let you know.”
When he disconnected the call, he turned off the phone so he wouldn’t hear it if his dad tried to call right back. Later, when he had time to think things through a bit, he’d e-mail rather than call. It was easier to break their hearts when he didn’t have to hear his mom quietly crying in the background.
Right now, he needed a beer, or maybe several. He also needed to return Leif’s phone. Would he think Nick cowardly if he asked him to leave it off so that he wouldn’t have to deal with his parents right now?
Too effing bad if he did. Right now Nick’s nerves were raw, bleeding with the knowledge he was failing everyone who mattered. His parents were hurt and confused by the stranger wearing their son’s face. Leif wasn’t complaining, but he needed Nick to be strong enough to help him deal with what those plates and screws in his ankle really meant.
And Spence—well, it was too late to do right by him. Nick had made the choice that had gotten his friend killed. All the man had wanted was to come home to Callie. So in effect, Nick had failed her, too.
Standing here wasn’t accomplishing anything. Even knowing he couldn’t outrun the shadows on his soul, he needed to be moving. He’d hand off Leif’s phone and then hit the road. This time he’d walk away from town, losing himself in the beauty along the two-lane highways that wound through the foothills of the Cascades.
The idea might be spontaneous, but he wasn’t stupid. He’d take his phone just in case he got lost and bottled water to help wash the cobwebs of guilt and pain down his throat. His plans made, he finally turned around to face Leif, only to find his friend was gone.
In his place sat Callie and Mooch. Son of a bitch! How much of the one-sided conversation had she heard? Enough, considering the way she was starin
g at him with wide eyes, her expressive mouth turned down at the corners. Even Mooch watched him with that amazing stillness he sometimes had when he sensed someone was hurting.
Nick’s feet were nailed in place, just as unable to step forward as they were to make a run for it. So calling his parents back wasn’t the only thing he couldn’t muster up the courage to face.
This was ridiculous. He forced himself to move forward, knowing delaying the conversation wasn’t going to make it any easier. He stopped a few feet short of the steps where she sat, wanting at least that much distance between them.
“I’m going for a walk.”
She turned her attention to petting Mooch. “I’ll hold dinner until you get back.”
He didn’t want any favors. Didn’t deserve them. “I don’t know when that will be. You and Leif go ahead and eat without me.”
Callie gave the dog a quick squeeze and stood up. “Then I’ll keep your dinner warm, Nick. It will be here for you when you get back.”
She came down the steps, moving slowly as if worried she’d spook him into running. As tempting as it was, he held his ground because this was Callie, and on some instinctive level he knew he had nothing to fear from her.
“I’m going to hug you, Nick; then you can go on your walk. I’ll be waiting up for you.”
She meant it, but, then, she didn’t know the truth of what he’d cost her. That no matter how many gazebos he built or walls he painted, he could never give back the one thing she deserved to have. He turned away, unable to bear the burden of her innocent gaze.
But still she came, her hands coming to rest on his back, their warmth seeping through the thin cotton of his shirt to his skin. He shivered but held his ground, needing the benediction of her touch. She slid her hands down to his waist and then around him until her body gently pressed against his, her face resting against his back.
He had no sense of the time that passed, his whole world consisting only of an acute awareness of this woman and the gift of comfort she was offering him. That he didn’t deserve it didn’t make it any less welcome, but enough was enough.
“I’ll call you when I’m back.”
She gave him one last quick squeeze before stepping away. “Do that. Let Leif know I’ll bring over dinner at the usual time.”
In other words, don’t leave without letting Leif know where he was going. “I will.”
He marched up the steps as she crossed the yard, heading back to her parents’ house. “And, Callie, thanks.”
Her smile was a bit rueful. “You’re welcome, and if it’s any comfort, I’ve been ducking my parents, too.”
Her confession didn’t change anything, but at least it made him laugh.
• • •
Nick pounded the pavement. Each step that took him away from Callie was harder than the one before. He wanted to turn around and head straight back to her. The knowledge that he had no right to feel that way kept him moving forward long after his driving need to walk had disappeared.
Up ahead he spotted a flashing neon light. Please, if there’s a god in heaven, let that be a bar.
It was. All the sign over the door said was BEER. Perfect. That was exactly what Nick was looking for. The parking lot was filled with some serious motorcycles and beat-up trucks with oversized tires. In his current mood, probably not the wisest choice of places to be without any backup. He’d have a quick beer, maybe a burger, and then start the long hike back to Spence’s place.
As soon as he stepped inside the door, he paused long enough to pull his dog tags out of his T-shirt. In the past, he’d found that even the toughest bastards in a biker bar were willing to accept a stranger in their midst if he was military. Sure enough, the two men at the nearest pool table straightened up and made a pretense of chalking their cues while they made up their mind whether to challenge his right to share their space.
The one on the left spoke first. “Where’d you serve?”
Nick rolled his shoulders, forcing himself to look far more relaxed than he was. “Two tours in the sandbox. I’m just back from my latest in Afghanistan.”
The other man gave the scar on Nick’s arm a pointed look. “You get that over there?”
“IED.”
He didn’t need to say more. Couldn’t have even if he wanted to. Besides, the expression on the man’s face made it clear he knew exactly what Nick was talking about.
“Cowardly bastards.”
The taller of the two walked around the pool table and stuck out his hand. “I’m Tim. He’s Kevin. We both did a couple of stints over there with the army rangers. Let me buy you a beer.”
Nick grinned and shook Tim’s hand. “Only if the second round is on me.”
“It’s a deal. You any good at pool? I can’t remember when I last had a decent opponent.”
Kevin protested. “Hey, moron, who won three out of five last night?”
“You did, but only because I took pity on you.”
Okay, so maybe this was Nick’s kind of place after all. A few beers, a couple of games of pool, and he’d head back home. He didn’t want to make Callie worry, and Leif would be pissed if Nick had too much fun without him.
He put his hand on his new best friend’s shoulder. “Rack ’em up, Tim, and we’ll see who really knows how to play.”
Tim lifted his beer in salute. “It’s a deal.”
• • •
Callie checked her watch for the millionth time. The hour hand had just edged past midnight. Nick had been gone for close to eight hours, and still no sign of him. She’d given up on keeping his dinner warm and tossed it in the trash. “If he’s not back in half an hour, I’m calling Gage.”
Leif was already shaking his head. “Nick is a big boy, Callie. We would have heard by now if something was wrong. He’ll come dragging in sooner or later. When he does, I’ll kick his ass for worrying you like this. Or better yet, maybe I’ll use that hammer he’s been swinging to knock some sense into that thick skull of his.”
She laughed but didn’t really mean it. “You’ll have to stand in line. I want first crack at him. He has to know I’d—no, we’d both be worried sick by now.”
Leif shifted restlessly, obviously having trouble finding a comfortable position for his injured leg. “Yeah, well, our boy wasn’t thinking too straight when he left. He’ll feel really bad when he gets back and realizes what he’s done.”
He reached over to pat her on the shoulder. “Sometimes the memories get to be too much, and he needs to blow off some steam. Soften the edges with a few beers. We all do. You spend enough time over there, it gets to be your normal. Makes it hard to adjust to life back here.”
There wasn’t much she could say to that. From what little she’d heard of Nick’s conversation with his folks, it didn’t come as a surprise that he needed to get away for a while. She suspected he’d been more than a little embarrassed that she’d overheard his end of the conversation.
His parents wanted him home, and she didn’t blame them. Was she being selfish because she didn’t want to hurry him along the way back to his parents and what they saw as his real life?
Yeah, she was, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. He and Leif had wormed their way into her life like they both belonged there, not just for a couple of weeks, but long term.
She was about to check the time again when a truck pulled into the top of the driveway. It didn’t come any farther, but the passenger door opened and closed before the truck backed out and took off with a loud spray of gravel. Mooch charged down off the porch raising hell before Callie could grab him.
The dog came to an abrupt stop as a familiar figure began meandering his way down the driveway, stumbling slightly before catching his balance with exaggerated care. Her first two reactions were relief that Nick had made it home safely and anger that he was obviously drunk.
&nbs
p; “Looks like Nick must have made himself some new friends.” Leif pushed himself up out of the rocker. “I think I’ll leave him to your tender care. I’m overdue for my meds and my leg isn’t happy about it. Be sure to tell him he’ll be the guest of honor at an ass-kicking party in the morning. I’d take care of that little chore tonight, but I’m guessing he wouldn’t remember it. Better to do it tomorrow when he’s sober and hungover.”
Callie laughed. “You have a mean streak, Leif. I like it.”
She gave him a quick hug before heading down the steps to confront the man still wending his way down the driveway. The door slammed behind her as Leif went inside, leaving her alone with Nick. As aggravated as she was with the man, she couldn’t help but laugh when Nick stopped to pet Mooch and almost toppled over.
When he heard her coming, his face lit up. “Callie! I was just about to call you. Hey, Lucy, I’m home.”
He held out his arms and twirled, clearly proud of himself for having accomplished that particular feat. Leif was right. There was no use in trying to reason with Nick now. Tomorrow, though, they’d have a long chat about disappearing for hours and worrying his friends. For now, she caught his arm and wrapped it across her shoulders while she put hers around his waist to help keep him steady.
“Come on, big guy. It’s time for you to call it a day.”
He belched really loud. “Oops, sorry about that. Too much beer. Not enough food. But, hey, guess what! I won five bucks on my last game of pool.”
Cute. He sounded so darn proud of his accomplishment. “And how much did you lose on all the ones before that?”
Nick froze for a few seconds, his face screwed up in a frown as he tried to come up with an answer. “Doesn’t matter. I ended the night on a high note.”
And to demonstrate that, he started singing one of those charming ditties the army used for keeping cadence. She suspected Nick would be embarrassed to find out he’d shared such a colorful one with her, but she couldn’t help but laugh. He was definitely in rare form.
“Up the steps, Nick. Then I’m going to pour you into bed. That’s the safest place for you right now.”
A Time for Home: A Snowberry Creek Novel Page 22