I felt a leg beneath me, and heard a yelp of surprise. I turned around to find Lia lying naked in my bed. She looked awful, her eyes red, her hair disheveled and tangled around her. Still, she was the most beautiful sight I’d ever seen. I crawled across my bed to her, and gathered her in my arms, grateful to finally be allowed to touch her. Surprising me with her ardor, she strained against me, shifting me down on the bed next to her before taking my mouth aggressively. We didn’t speak, but made love, as the light of morning drew near.
Dawn was spilling golden light across the lake, which reflected into my room, while I held Lia in my arms. Finally, she decided to explain herself.
“They almost found us out,” she said softly.
“What do you mean, darling?” I asked. “How?”
“You knew I was upset when you left. I guess I couldn’t hide how I was feeling. Everyone started hounding me, trying to find out the person I was involved with,” she said. “I don’t know how they knew about me. Mamma said you told her I was in love with some peasant,” she added, glancing over at me skeptically. “I knew you wouldn’t have said that, though,” she added. “She was only trying to manipulate me, as usual.”
“I didn’t tell her anything, Lia,” I snapped, irritated with Lore again.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m not trying to upset you.”
“Lia, you have nothing to be sorry about,” I said gently.
“Mata has been having me watched. I was observed riding out to say goodbye to you,” she explained. “Ania knows it’s you. She says I’m obsessed with you, but Mata argued that I was likely using you in an attempt to meet with someone else, beyond the palace walls. Still, I saw that look in Mata’s eye, as if she were considering it might be you. I think she’d be a little angry if she found out about us,” Lia said. “Did you know you were supposed to ask permission first before pursuing me?”
“You know very well that I never pursued you, Lia,” I said, shaking my head. “And I didn’t exactly set out to fall in love with you. I struggled against this from the start. The last thing I would have done, before we were together, was to tell your mothers I was attracted you. And now it’s far too late to ask. I’ve broken protocol, on so many levels. At this point my actions could potentially be seen as treason. But even if I’d asked, permission would not have been granted. They would have simply, and quite easily, kept us apart. I won’t be kept away from you, Lia. As long as you want to be with me, I’ll do everything in my power to make it possible.”
“Why wouldn’t they grant us permission?” she asked, her brow furrowing as she considered the situation. “You’re behind Ania and me in line to the Fae throne, not to mention, you’re the Prime of Nogeland. Fen’Tun isn’t even in the succession,” she added. “And Mamma says you’re the wealthiest person in the twin sovereignties.”
“I’m entirely too old for you, Lia,” I whispered. “They’ll think I’ve taken advantage of your youth and innocence.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Mata is almost three hundred years old,” Lia pointed out, rolling her eyes. “Mamma was fourteen when they met.”
“I held you in my hands within moments of your birth. I gave you your first bath, darling,” I reminded her. “And unlike you, Lore didn’t have parents to protect her,” I added. “She was on her own.”
“Should Mamma have been protected from Mata?” Lia asked. “Do you honestly believe I should be protected from you?”
“I don’t know. Maybe,” I replied honestly. “Lore was pretty well equipped to take care of herself, but you’ve lived a sheltered life. Both of your mothers have done everything they could to keep you safe and shielded behind palace walls, protected from the more unpleasant aspects of the world. They still see you as very young, a child almost.”
“They’re wrong,” she snapped. “What I am is trapped,” she added.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Ania took the first chance to get out,” Lia said. “Everyone is always watching us, all the time. How am I supposed to have any experiences with the world while fourteen guards surround me? I manage to sneak over the wall sometimes, but even the Village of Lareem seems to be watching me,” she observed, accurately I thought. “And Mata has made it quite clear she would punish anyone who tried to have a relationship with me without their permission,” she added. “They control everything.”
“Is that why you’ve come to Saranedam?” I asked gently. “Do you want your freedom?”
“Of course I do,” she said. “But more than that, I want you, Pet.”
I laughed quietly, pressing a kiss into her hair. “You will have as much of both as you like,” I promised.
****
I hadn’t slept more than an hour, due to the fact that Lia waited to the last possible moment to return to her own apartment. Still, I lay awake in the bed that smelled of her, tasting her on my lips, and indulged in my craving for her. When I heard conversation in the hall, I rose to find Lore heading into my office, carrying a large cup of bush tea she had gratefully accepted from my head housekeeper. I quickly bathed and dressed, and then went to see if I could be of assistance to the Noge Queen, as she pored over the accounts of her realm for the first time in more than thirteen years.
We worked through the morning, as I explained some of the decisions I’d made, the ones she might have found questionable. She was, on the whole, easy to placate. By noon we had completed our audit. There was little she could say, after having left Nogeland in my hands for over a decade. Occasionally she pointed out that she thought me too lenient with the Vilken peasants, but I could easily explain away forgiveness of taxes as an obviously successful investment in Baneland infrastructure. Baneland was thriving, and producing enormous tax revenues, thanks to my aggressive shepherding of the booming Vilken torppa industry.
We finished our work before lunch, and I began my subtle, yet eager, search for signs of Lia. Apparently my darling was still in bed. Lore was clearly annoyed when Lia hadn’t appeared by one in the afternoon. She went to check Lia’s room, only to find her bed miraculously made, and Lia gone.
“She probably went for a ride,” I observed, in an attempt to placate Lore.
“She’s hardly greeted you,” Lore replied. “She’s being extremely rude, even for her.”
“I don’t take offence,” I replied, smiling as I remembered the intensity of our reunion only a few hours earlier.
When Lore and I went out to the stables to check, we found that Lia had borrowed Khol. Realizing her daughter had taken my horse without asking, obviously, since I hadn’t even known Lia was riding, Lore was livid. I walked back with her to the palace, trying everything I could think of to calm her.
“She’s completely irresponsible,” Lore snapped, as I guided her into the solarium, and a table set for our late midday meal. “I can’t imagine what possessed her to take Khol.”
“I told her when we were at Lareem that she could ride him whenever she wanted,” I lied, drawing Lore’s chair back from the table for her. The Queen smiled at my overly solicitous behavior, and sat. “Truly, I don’t mind. I’m not possessive of my horse. He can do with the exercise. Lia’s an incredible rider.” Lore smiled and nodded, acknowledging the compliment in spite of her impatience with her daughter. I sat in the chair beside Lore’s.
“She truly is a brilliant horsewoman,” Lore agreed, showing signs of relaxing. “Ania could never keep up with her. Lia takes her style from M’Tek. But are you certain you don’t mind, Pet?” she asked, her tone softening.
“Not in the slightest,” I assured her before lifting a plate of fresh fruit and berries, and holding it out to her, allowing her to choose what she wanted. I hoped the food would distract her.
“Why your horse, though?” she asked, disappointing my hopes as she covered her plate with a selection of berries and melon. “Before that surly display of utter indifference toward you yesterday, I almost imagined she had developed a crush on you. In fact, part of m
y design in bringing her here was to sort that possibility, and with your help, curb her, if necessary,” Lore observed, laughing at the absurdity of the idea. “Ania’s certain Lia’s in love with you. What an imagination that one has!”
“This conversation is making me uncomfortable,” I said honestly. “Can we please speak of something else?” I continued, serving myself once Lore was finished.
“Don’t be so fastidious, Pet,” Lore chided, rolling her eyes at what she perceived as my offended sensibilities.
“Fine. I’ve expressed my discomfort with the topic. Treat me as you will, but I don’t want Lia to feel awkward, especially if you plan to leave her here with me. So, can you at least refrain from discussing this when she appears?” I asked in my most solicitous tone. It worked.
“All right,” Lore said, adding a firm nod for emphasis. “And I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, Pet. It’s just, Lia is a total mystery to me. Unlike Ania, I’m unable to anticipate her motives. I never know what she needs, or even what she wants,” Lore observed. “What do you think is going on with her, my friend?” she asked. I shook my head as I realized Lore was asking me for parenting advice. I couldn’t stand the look of absolute trust I read in my dearest friend’s expression. It was wrong, hiding my relationship with Lia from her. As accustomed as I was to manipulating the truth for the sake of politics, this was different. I had an obligation to Lore. She deserved honesty, even if she never forgave me for offering it.
“Lore, don’t ask for my help with Lia. You’ve misread me, and her, to a degree. First of all, you seem to see me as a parental figure for her, but I don’t know anything about being a mother,” I replied. My heart started pounding my chest as I weighed my approach in telling Lore the truth. My conscience required that I warn my friend of my feelings for her daughter, but how best to do that was unclear. I pushed forward, clumsily. “My interest in your daughter is in no way parental. I never felt I was a parent to her when she was young. And then after our estrangement, and the changes in me once you made me Lemu, I’m disconnected from that woman I once was. Honestly, Lore, Lia was as a stranger to me when we were again thrown together. I don’t see anything childlike in her. I know her only as a beautiful, and captivating, woman. Do you understand what I’m saying?” I asked.
“Maybe that’s why you see her more clearly than I do,” Lore replied. “I still see her as the baby I held, my firstborn.”
“You’re not understanding me,” I whispered, growing exasperated. “Even after what I just said, you’re still talking to me as if I’m, in some way, a parent to her, but I’m not. Listen to me. My own mother died when I was very young. The bond between a mother and her child is not exactly something with which I’m familiar. Truly, the closest I’ve ever had to a maternal feeling, toward anyone, was with you that first year, when I was trying to help you understand your role as a queen. That turned out to be something entirely different, though. Rather than mothering you, I fell in love with you,” I explained. Lore grinned, her eyes brightening with what I assumed was nostalgia.
“But you helped me parent my daughters for those four years M’Tek was away,” she argued. “You filled M’Tek’s role in our lives in almost every way.”
“No. That’s clearly not true,” I replied. “Don’t get me wrong. I truly tried, but I was a dismal failure. I was only a convenient set of hands and eyes, a domestic of sorts. At this point, my feelings, for Lia in particular, are not remotely maternal, or even those of a cousin. I’m utterly taken with her, Lore. No, it’s more than that. You should know that I’m very deeply in…”
“You truly were protective of me, weren’t you?” she said, interrupting my clumsy attempt at confessing. “I doubt I would have retained my sanity without you,” Lore observed, somehow ignoring my rather blatant warning. “You see the world around you so clearly. You always saw the Vilkerlings for what they were,” she added. “You couldn’t stand them. You referred to them as nasty, and savage, constantly. It used to make me so angry.”
“That’s not something I’m proud of, Lore. I was horribly bigoted back then, not to mention, a snob. I hope experience governing the Vilkerlings has taught me greater wisdom, and compassion,” I observed. “But you aren’t hearing me,” I tried again. “Listen to what I’m trying to tell you.”
“No. Pet, you were right,” Lore corrected firmly, her expression hardening. “If I’d only listened to you about the Vassek twins, we would have been spared a great deal of heartache,” she added. “Vilkerlings are a weak and grasping people. They are not to be trusted.” With that statement, I gave up. Raising my hands in the air in defeat, I shook my head. Lore watched me, noting my frustration, and appearing confused by it. I somehow managed a smile and her expression softened.
“Is Lord Kolten still imprisoned beneath Lareem Palace?” I finally asked, moving on to a new subject. I hadn’t thought of him in years, and was mildly curious about what had become of the beautiful young man. He had been the quieter of the Vassek twins, and the more prudent. At one point I had even believed Lore would take him as her consort.
“What a question! I’ve no idea, Pet,” Lore replied. “Truly, I’ve never cared to ask. M’Tek wanted him. I gave him to her and was done with it.”
Lore had become more like M’Tek over the years. Even if her manner was still gentle, she was no less ruthless than my cousin. Once Lore would have cared what happened to Kolten. He had been her friend, even if he chose to oppose Lore in the end. As these thoughts were spiraling through my mind I heard Lia come in through the side entrance. I turned my gaze in that direction expectantly, working to keep the emotion out of my eyes. Lore was on her feet in an instant.
“Lia,” she called, her tone stern.
“Yes, Mamma,” Lia said, wandering into the solarium to find us.
“You took Pet’s horse without asking,” Lore said sharply. “That was completely disrespectful. Apologize to your cousin.”
When Lia turned her eyes to me in astonishment, her lovely face flushed with embarrassment. “I’m sorry, Pet,” she nearly whispered. “I didn’t think you would mind if I rode Khol. I hope I haven’t made you angry.”
“Of course you haven’t, Lia. I don’t mind, truly,” I replied, offering her what I hoped was a reassuring smile, though my jaw felt tight. I wanted to strangle Lore. “Khol is yours to ride whenever you like. You never need to ask my permission. In fact, I’d love to see you take him over some fences one day this week.” Lia nodded, the hint of a smile lifting the sides of her mouth. “Are you hungry?”
“Yes. As a matter of fact, I’m starving, Pet,” she said, finally smiling at me. My chest felt lighter as she came to sit at the table, choosing the chair on the other side of me. She pulled it close enough that her thigh brushed mine.
Immediately, she reached for a dewberry on my plate, and popped it into her mouth. That simple slip might easily have exposed the level of intimacy between Lia and me, if Lore had been willing to recognize it at that point. I stopped Lia before she took another berry, by placing a hand on her arm. I raised my other hand, calling one of the housekeepers over.
“Please bring Princess Aurelia a place setting,” I said quietly, turning back to observe Lore, watching us with interest. That’s when I realized Lia was sitting far too close to me. I eased away from her.
“Is there anything you’d like to do today?” I asked Lia, as I tucked a lock of hair behind her ear so her face wasn’t obscured.
Her beautiful grey eyes lit up as she spoke. “I found the most perfect spot on the other side of the lake. It’s so lovely. There’s an old fallen tree by the bank that’s turned hard, like stone, instead of rotting. It would be the perfect place to share a picnic together. And there are so many red and yellow flowers, everywhere on the hillside. I wanted to pick some, to bring to you, but I had nowhere to store them for the ride back. And I saw both black and rose swans, and this strange little orange bird with green wings landed on a branch next to my head, as if he
wanted to get a closer look at me,” she said brightly. “Will you ride out there with me?”
“Of course, darling,” I replied, adding the endearment without thought, enjoying the passion in her voice. She had been anxious in my arms that morning. I was pleased her ride had relaxed her. “We’ll go this afternoon, if you like. My work can wait.”
“Am I invited, darling?” Lore asked with a slight edge to her voice, her gaze hard on her daughter, in what I judged to be an expression of irritation. Lia’s knee nudged mine under the table and I smiled at Lore, instinctively shielding Lia.
“Of course you’re invited, Lore,” I said, forcing a smile. “That was understood, I thought. Lia, you were asking if the two of us would join you, right?” I said evenly. Lia only nodded, diverting her gaze from her mother to follow the progress of the servant who had appeared to bring Lia’s place setting to the table. Lia scooted away from me slightly, as her plate was placed an appropriate distance from mine.
“Yes, right, that’s what I meant, Pet,” Lia said, as she reached for the plate of fruit in the center of the table.
“The three of us should ride around Sweet Lake this afternoon, if you’re willing, Lore. We might stop in and visit your neighbors while we’re out. It will also give me a chance to take you through the porcelain berry vineyards that have grown up over the past few years. You’ll want to inspect their progress, I imagine.”
“That would be lovely, Pet,” Lore said, relaxing with me again.
-CH 4-
When we went to the stables later, Lia again took Khol out of his stall and led him to the crossties. She winked at me as she passed, and my heart started racing as my gaze lingered on her. She was truly a stunning woman.
A Fortunate Woman Page 6