We reached Lauderdam four days after our hasty departure, in the evening. The palace was still in the early stages of being built, and resembled a pile of rubble more than anything else. I led the guards back to the old gamekeeper’s cottage. The refurbishing had been completed before work began on the palace. My guards helped carry my trunks into the cottage, and then we set up their tents in the clearing nearby. After a decent sleep they would be returning to Saranedam Palace. They were not actually my guards any longer, but Lore’s.
Over the following weeks I sent several letters to Lia, all commonplace, mentioning I was safe, and that I hoped she was well. I was almost certain they would never reach her, but I had to try. I was not surprised when I received no reply.
I hired a new contingent of guards from among the Vilken peasants living in neighboring villages. They were all the offspring of former Vilken soldiers, some even claimed to be minor nobility, and possessed minimal combat training, as well as some battle worn weapons of decent quality. I selected an older Vilkerling as my captain, a man named Kashun. He had once served as a lieutenant under General Kieran during the Baneland War.
At first I was uncertain of the loyalty of my new guards, but as the story of my heinous betrayal of the Changeling Queen, and my seduction of her virginal daughter swept through the region, I gained not only an easy popularity, but also a grudging sort of respect, among both my guards and the villagers. No one observed protocol with me. Perfect strangers approached to slap my back, or called out a greeting, while raising a fist in the air to voice solidarity.
Often, baskets filled with baked goods and fruits were left at my gate anonymously. Though I was still skeptical of Vilken fair at that time, I recognized these gifts as offerings of welcome, and made a point of consuming them within sight of my Vilken workers. In this way, without speaking treason, we formed a bond, these Vilkerlings and I. We were united in our fury toward the Changeling Queen. As far as they were concerned I was not Fae, but of their blood, a true Vilkerling.
During the days that followed I mostly practiced with my guards, as Kashun taught us all Vilken fighting methods for the first few hours of the morning. I in turn taught Noge and Fae combat arts, until we broke for our midday meal. It kept me busy until the afternoon, at which point I usually toiled with my building crew until dark. This pattern helped keep me busy and fit, and I avoided losing my mind to my grief. In this way I passed the following year, without news of Lia.
Almost at once, I had begun training spies, intent on sending them into Lareem Palace to learn news of her, and possibly secure her release. It was difficult finding anyone who could pass for Fae or Noge in that part of Baneland. Even those of mixed Noge and Vilken blood were too dark, and there simply weren’t any Fae half-breeds.
Meanwhile, my home was taking shape, my staff growing, and my standing in the community was taking root. Countess Emmuska and Earl Jestin invited me to spend the summer solstice with them at their estate, and so I took a break from the day-to-day tedium of my lonely existence to enjoy the comfort offered by the only real friends I had in Baneland.
It was during this visit that I learned Lia had formed a new attachment and was to be joined with a Noge nobleman from the eastern range. I tried to pretend I was pleased with the news, but Emmuska knew me too well. My old friend easily saw through my attempt.
After dinner, I went for a walk through the vineyard, trying to recover from the shock. I stared out across the neat rows of healthy torppine vines, covered with purple blooms, trying to picture Lia smiling, and dressed in a traditional Noge joining gown. I desperately wanted to be happy for her, but as hard as I tried, I couldn’t feel it. Tears threatened, but I managed to hold them in check. When I turned back to return to the manor house, Emmuska was standing at the end of the row I was walking, waiting for me.
“I assumed you already knew, my friend,” Emmuska said when I reached her.
“I did not,” I confessed, my voice betraying far more emotion than I would have liked. “I’m completely cut off from both Noge and Fae nobility at the moment. I’m being shunned if you can imagine,” I admitted, trying to offer a wry smile to Emmuska so she wouldn’t pity me. From her reaction it must have looked more like a grimace. “I hear nothing from Lareem Palace.”
“I never would have told you in that cavalier way if I’d realized,” she said, clearly sympathetic.
“Don’t trouble yourself, Emmuska,” I replied. “I had to learn of it eventually. I’d rather the news came from a dear friend. At least I believe you to be sympathetic. Most of my friends are apparently rejoicing in my downfall. Not a single Noge, or even a Fae has stood by me. I’ve become a pariah.”
“Those were not friends, Your Grace. And the Changeling Queen is a monster. Only someone so cruel could separate you from the princess. You truly loved her,” she observed. “It was obvious.”
“I still do love Lia,” I replied, refraining from commenting on Lore.
“Jestin and I knew how you felt. Your transformation could only be explained by having fallen in love. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that we worried over the two of you. You’ve always been a good friend to us. We weren’t surprised when we learned you’d lost the Primeship, but we are extremely disappointed,” she added. “The Changeling Queen is not someone you want to cross.”
“I agree,” I said, offering another wry smile. “I wouldn’t have chosen what happened. I simply fell in love. Apparently, I’m very misguided when it comes to love. At least that’s what my cousin says.”
“Your cousin the Fae Queen?” Emmuska asked, shaking her head. “She’s more terrifying than Queen Loredana. You’re lucky you survived.”
“M’Tek loves me,” I said. “As angry as she might be, she’d never harm me.”
“Have you had any contact with Princess Aurelia?” she asked.
“Not a word,” I replied. “I wish I could be pleased for her. I would claim I am, but I doubt you’d believe me. Besides, I’d rather not lie about it unless it’s required of me,” I added, gazing out at the blooming vineyard surrounding us. “Truly, I want her to be happy, but I’m not quite ready to allow that she could be without me. We were so much in love. I know she felt it as deeply as I do,” I observed. Emmuska said nothing. Her dark eyes simply watched me with an expression of compassion. “I’m aware of how selfish I sound.”
“I don’t think you’re selfish, Your Grace,” Emmuska said, her voice softening in sympathy. “You’re right. It was clear that the princess was very much in love with you,” she said. “I’m surprised she could move on so quickly. Of course, she’s quite young. Young hearts are more resilient than our older ones, and less obstinate.”
“Perhaps,” I said, refusing to pass judgment on Lia. “I noticed the last time I was here that your pruning techniques are different from mine,” I observed, changing the subject. Emmuska forced a sad smile and nodded.
“Yes. I think we achieve a greater yield when we cut them closer and pinch back the growing tips in the summer,” she observed, generously indulging my reluctance to discuss Lia further.
Over the following months my home took shape. The exterior of the structure was completed by the beginning of fall, meaning the work could continue through the heavy snow season, since the workers would be toiling inside, and protected from the weather.
I performed a tremendous amount of the artisan work myself, simply because I was at loose ends, rarely able to sleep, and I wanted my home completed. Six weeks after winter solstice the last room was tiled. I had been slowly furnishing it since the fall, and by early spring, I removed myself from the cottage to take up residence within the walls of my new home.
The workers then began on my stables. My three horses had suffered through inadequate shelter during two consecutive snow seasons. I wanted my stable completed before the next winter storm.
As the day of Lia’s joining approached, I buried myself in work, obsessively poring through my accounts, or out in the stable, doing
manual labor, which mostly entailed the unforgiving work of laying stone. Still, it wasn’t enough to drive her from my mind. The night of her joining I drank alone, finishing three magnums of torppa while I sat in my office. Finally, I managed to drink myself sick, a feat I’d long believed impossible for a Fae Lemu. My staff kept well out of my way, aware that something was off with me. As punishment for my self-pity, I was still quite sick the following day.
It was in the middle of the night four days later that she came to me. Sleep was eluding me, but the thought of more torppa made my stomach tighten in reaction. After hours of discomfort, during which I turned and shifted constantly, finally, I admitted defeat. I rose from bed and went to my office in search of some work that might occupy my mind. With hope of soothing my poor stomach, I set a carafe of the local Vilken honey brew to warm over a candle, and opened my ledger with the intent of poring over the accounts until either I went blind, or the morning light spilled through my office window. The torppine vineyards were extremely profitable, but still, I thought I could squeeze out more production if I tweaked my pruning methods.
I decided to do a trial of the methods I’d observed in Emmuska and Jestin’s vineyard. Soon I had maps strewn across my desk, as I concentrated to determine the best place for the trial crop. I was working through the possibilities, focusing with more precision than the problem required, when I heard the thundering of a single horse’s hooves on the entryway up to my home. This was strange, because I had guards posted at the gate. No one should have been allowed on the grounds of Lauderdam after nightfall. I abandoned my maps and went to the window, but the night was too dark. I could make nothing out.
Curious about who would have been granted admittance at that hour, I made my way down the stairs to the front entrance, unbolted the door, and opened it. There at the base of my front stairs stood Khol, panting wildly as if he were near collapse, foam dripping from his mouth, and splattered across his wet, lathered chest. Astride him tottered Lia, on the verge of collapse herself.
I hurried forward to help Lia down from his back. She nearly fainted in my arms as one of my night guards came forward to collect Khol.
“This gelding is extremely valuable to me,” I pointed out as the guard took his reins. “His name is Khol. Walk him all night if necessary. See that he cools down properly and you’ll have a very generous reward.”
“I’ll see to him, Your Grace,” he promised, bowing to me, in that almost sullen style of all Vilkerlings. I knew by his manner that he would stop at nothing to save my horse.
I shouldered a large portion of Lia’s weight, refusing the offered assistance of my guards, as I half carried her into my drawing room, helping her into a chair. I poured a glass of torppa for her, and she took it eagerly from my hands, gulping it down as if nothing wet had crossed her lips in some time. I fussed with her tangled hair, tucking it back from her face, and attempting to smooth it down. She held the empty glass out to me in silent demand. I poured another dose.
“Tell me. What can I do for you, Lia? Are you hungry?” I asked.
“Yes,” she said with a raspy voice. “May I have some water?” she added. I stood up, and her hand rose, her fingers closing tightly around my wrist. “No. Don’t leave me, Pet. Send someone,” she demanded.
“Lia, everyone’s in bed except a few of my night guards, and I told them to remain outside,” I explained.
She released my wrist, and I hurried to the kitchen to fill a tray. I returned balancing the tray in one hand and carrying the pitcher of water in the other. I watched as she gulped down water too quickly.
“You’ll make yourself sick,” I cautioned, but she continued guzzling the water in spite of my warning.
Her attention turned to the petou next as she coated a piece of toast with a mound of it, and shoved it completely inside her mouth, any semblance of proper manners overcome by her obvious hunger. I smiled as she started on the nuts, eating a fistful of them before sighing and slumping back on the sofa, her mouth full, still chewing.
“Are you all right, my darling?” I asked, tucking her tangled hair behind her ear again.
“I want a bath,” she replied with her mouth still full.
Lia was rather grimy I noticed, covered in grunge from travel, and with what looked to be brambles in her hair. She had marks from scratches all over her arms, with dried blood on her skin, and she smelled of a sweaty horse. I didn’t mind. I wanted to take her in my arms and cover her filthy face with kisses. Still, I held myself back, waiting for her to reach for me, or give any indication of wanting my affection. When she didn’t I thought of the beautiful, hot, spring fed, bathing pool I had in the bath chamber adjoining my bedchamber.
“Come with me, Lia,” I said after a moment.
I guided Lia to her feet, and helped her down the hallway and into my bedchamber. She stopped at the edge of my bed as if wanting to collapse onto it, but I encouraged her to move on, leading her into the large room dominated by the warm pool in the center. I helped her to strip away her filthy dress, realizing as I did this that it was a delicate, pale blue, Noge joining dress. The brambles in her hair were caught in the exquisite platinum and diamond crown she wore. I recognized the relic from a portrait that hangs in the entry hall of Saranedam Palace, the one featuring the Noge Queen Katryne. I untangled Lia’s hair from the crown and gently pulled it free. I then helped her out of her underclothes, and waited as she dipped down into the water.
I left her there for a moment as I returned to my bedchamber for my comb. When I was again at the side of the pool, I removed my dressing gown and eased into the water with her.
“Let me see what I can do about your hair,” I said, shifting behind her.
At first she held perfectly still, as I worked through the knots, removing the brambles and diamond studded pins from her beautiful golden hair. When I was finished I guided her down under the water and then soaped her hair. I scrubbed her hair quickly, because she was clearly exhausted. She kept slumping back against me and then jerking awake, as if she were struggling against sleep. When I scrubbed her body, I noticed a faintly purple, crescent-shaped bruise on her right breast. It resembled a bite mark. I shifted her gently to hold her in my arms, cradling her to my body as she finally succumbed to sleep in the bath. I could resist no longer. I kissed her softly on her slightly parted lips. Her eyes opened partially as she appraised me, warily, through beautiful silver grey eyes.
“It’s time to get you to bed, darling,” I said quietly as she struggled to focus on me.
She managed to climb out of the pool, with my help, and I wrapped a bath sheet around the both of us. I helped her into bed on my side, and then went to dress in a nightshirt, and put the light out. She was already asleep by the time I scooted across my bed, gathering her close in my arms.
I slept late into the morning, holding Lia with a contentment I hadn’t felt in almost eighteen months. When she was still sleeping at midday, I rose, dressed, and went down to the kitchens to search out what I could bring for her to eat. I discovered we had fresh goose eggs, another anonymous gift, and so I asked my cook to prepare poached goose eggs and toast with cloudberry jam, and then waited while she prepared it so I could bring the tray to our rooms myself.
When I entered the hearth room with the tray, Lia must have smelled the food. She appeared clothed in one of my dressing gowns, still wearing a look of exhaustion, her beautiful eyes underlined with dark purple marks. I continued setting out our midday meal on the table by the window as she watched. Hesitantly, she came over to stand beside me, waiting until I finished. She then wrapped her arms around me from the side, dropping her head against my shoulder.
“Sit down, Lia,” I said quietly, shifting out of her embrace, taking her shoulders in my hands to guide her into a chair. “I know you’re starving. You were too tired to really eat when you arrived.”
“Was I? I hardly remember arriving,” she observed as she laid her napkin across her lap. “It’s sort of strange, a
s if I dreamed it, or someone else was that woman,” she added, lifting her fork.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” I asked, needing some explanation of her arrival and the state she was in, especially that bruise on her breast. Still, I didn’t want to push her. She shook her head.
“They watched me so closely,” she said. “I tried to run a dozen times, but there were always guards watching me, ready to bring me back to Mamma, I mean Lore,” she corrected herself. I wanted to ask her about why she was calling her mother Lore, but I was more interested in how she had reached me.
“You’ve been trying to run this whole time?” I asked. She shook her head.
“No,” she said. “I gave up on that approach after about six months,” she replied in a flat tone. “After that, I tried to behave as if I would do as Lore wanted. I even selected a consort she approved of,” she added.
“Yes. I heard,” I said evenly. “The news reached me, even here in Baneland.”
“You would hate him, Pet. He’s awful,” Lia whispered, looking away from me and placing her fork down on the table. I had no doubt I would hate him. I forced a smile to cover the intensity of that sentiment.
“Why don’t we talk about all of that later,” I suggested. “I’d like to see you eat a little, and then maybe we can take a nap.” Lia smiled at me, but her expression was hollow, her face too thin to look happy.
“Do you still love me, Pet?” Lia asked, running a finger along the handle of the fork and watching me with haunted eyes. “Do you still want me?”
“I love you even more now, if that’s possible, Lia,” I said gently, reaching to touch her shoulder where her birthmark was. She was covered in faded bruises, and I was afraid I might hurt her, so I withdrew my hand after barely making contact.
A Fortunate Woman Page 14