“Ania will have another chance when her consort dies, in a few decades. She may choose better the next time, if she decides to join again,” M’Tek said, philosophically. “I didn’t meet Lore until I’d lived a quarter of a millennium.”
“But Lore lived as Sarane before,” I said without thinking. “You met her when you were a young child.” A wry smile settled on M’Tek’s features in response to my observation.
“You don’t truly believe that, Pet?” she asked, scrutinizing me.
“Why wouldn’t I?” I asked, questioning that fact for the first time since M’Tek informed me of Lore’s identity, more than two decades earlier. “You’re the one who told me she was Sarane. Why would I doubt you?”
“I’m not certain that’s exactly what I told you. Regardless, Lore is not Sarane. Come, look at these paintings in the hall,” M’Tek said mildly, slipping an arm across my shoulders to guide me into the entryway. She walked me slowly past the many great Noge Queens. They all appeared strikingly similar to Lore. “You note the resemblance.”
“Anyone who walks this hall notes the resemblance, M’Tek. I imagine that was Lore’s intent in hanging these ancient portraits here, to indicate she has lived many lives before this one, and always as the powerful Noge Queen,” I observed.
“That may be the effect of this display, but it certainly wasn’t her intent. Lore is actually pointing out to anyone willing to scrutinize these portraits that she is in not Sarane. None of these women were Lore. Look at their expressions. Beyond the basic features, they look nothing like her,” M’Tek said, her gaze moving over the Noge Queens, each one in turn. “If you read about these women, you’ll find they’re all very different from one another. I knew Sarane as well as I know myself, and she was nothing like Lore. Sarane was cruel and vain.”
“But clearly you loved Sarane, as a sister if not a mate,” I said. “You killed thousands of Vilkerlings to avenge her death.”
“I was young and angry,” M’Tek said. “My family gave me away when I was hardly more than an infant. I’d lived my entire life as a hostage of the Noge royal family. Sarane was the only one of my captors who truly wanted me to love her. My survival depended upon identifying with her, but I was too unformed to know what love really is. My reaction to her death was violent because, she was simply all my heart knew. What I feel with Lore is entirely different. Sarane and I would likely have grown to be mortal enemies if she’d lived. I might even have been the one to kill her.”
“You really don’t think Lore is Sarane?” I asked. For the first time I began to doubt what I knew about Lore and M’Tek. “Then nothing makes sense,” I said under my breath. “Why would you have come to the aid of a Noge girl you didn’t know? You paid with Fae lives to win the battle that earned her Vilken throne. You were the military might that stabilized Vilkerland under her rule. Deus, M’Tek! You made her your Prime, displacing me from my rightful place in the succession. Why would you do all of that for someone you hardly knew?”
“It’s not that simple,” M’Tek said with a smile. “And I assure you, I didn’t displace you for a girl I hardly knew,” she observed. “Regardless, of what I felt for Lore at that time, and I was already in love with her, my only motivation for handing her the Fae throne was creating stability between the three nations. We’d been at war with our neighbors, both Vilken and Noge, for centuries. I believed if there could be one, fair sovereign, ruling all three realms, we would finally have the peace I’d failed for more than two centuries to provide my people.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to doubt you,” I said quickly. “I was overstepping.”
“You aren’t overstepping, Pet,” she said, squeezing my shoulder. “I prefer that you question me, rather than accepting blindly what I do.”
“Really?” I asked, shocked that such words could come from M’Tek’s lips. “Why?
“Because I respect you. I want your love and support, not your obedience,” M’Tek said evenly. “You’re one of very few people whose esteem truly matters to me.”
-CH 14-
When I returned to our apartment I found only Lia waiting for me. When I glanced around the sitting room I noticed Lia had found that dark purple bottle of woodrose tincture. I thought I’d hidden it well enough, in a secret compartment within the wardrobe. Apparently my efforts were inadequate. She’d placed the bottle out on the table in front of the sofa. I pretended not to notice, and crossed the sitting room to take her in my arms.
Lia held me close for a moment before trailing her lips across my jaw to softly capture my mouth in an unhurried kiss. Her lips parted, deepening that kiss as she guided me to the sofa. She eased me down and then stood again to draw off my riding boots. She then came back to me, covering my body with hers.
“I thought you’d never return from your ride,” she said against my lips. “Lore’s watching Astrid all afternoon.”
“M’Tek had the most wonderful present for me,” I said, as her lips trailed down over my throat. “I’d like to show you.”
“I know all about your new horse, beautiful. M’Tek told me months ago,” Lia said as she sat up and reached for the tincture bottle, unscrewing the top as I watched her.
“Please. Don’t do that, Lia,” I said as she brought the tincture to me. “I don’t want it.” I reached for her hand to stop her, but she was determined.
“Don’t worry. I’m only putting it on you,” she said as she tipped the bottle and rubbed the tincture against the pulse point on my neck. I watched as she carefully recapped the bottle, and then came back to me. “I love you,” she purred before covering my mouth with hers. Her hands were already working at the ties of my breeches. I lifted her off of me and moved away from her to the window as the tincture altered my breathing and my heart began hammering in my chest. My skin was already growing flushed, and heat was spreading from my groin. Lia followed me to the window, wrapping her arms around me from behind.
“You smell enticing. Come to bed, Pet,” Lia whispered into my ear. “I need to be with you.”
“Not like this,” I said firmly. “Not with that potion.”
“You’re so beautiful,” she purred. “Let me look at you,” Lia whispered against my skin, her hands caressing my breasts through my tunic. “I need you,” she said as she took my hand, leading my back toward the bedchamber. “You’ve hardly allowed me to touch you since we left Lauderdam.”
What she said was true. Though I’d made love to her in the woods, and again in our bed at Saranedam, more than once, I’d gently withdrawn from her advances, reluctant to be touched after the chaos of that night. The potion was twisting through my blood though, making resisting Lia more difficult by the second.
“I don’t want this,” I said stopping at the threshold to our bedchamber. “It’s ugly and dark, with nothing of love in it.”
“But you know I love you, and I haven’t used the potion. Come lay down with me. Just let me hold you. Please,” she said, her voice cracking slightly. “I won’t touch you if you don’t want me. Just let me be close to you.”
When I stepped back from her, I saw she was upset. I reached my hand to her cheek. Her hand caught mine, holding on to that contact. I reached my other hand around her slender waist, guiding her closer to me, and taking her lips gently. She kissed me eagerly, as if she were starving for me.
“You know I want you, Lia,” I said as I drew back. “I always want you,” I assured her, needing to soothe her.
She took my words as consent, and led me over to our bed. Gently, Lia undressed me, guiding me down onto our bed as she spread my thighs. When she kissed my inner thigh I felt her breath against my skin and a tremor of lust twisted through me. I ran my fingers into her beautiful golden hair, guiding her mouth to me. She moaned softly as her tongue passed quickly over me, but then she moved away, teasing me.
A few hours later the mind-altering effects of the tincture were waning. I cradled her hips with both of my hands, taking her with my mouth as her
back arched. She gasped as another orgasm claimed her, and I rode it out, resting my head against her sweat-slick belly, afterward. Once her breathing slowed she reached down to encourage me up beside her.
“My beautiful Pet,” she said, smiling as she kissed me. “I’m afraid I love you entirely too much,” she confessed, snuggling close to me.
“How can love be too much?” I asked, stroking her hair. She drew back from me, looking into my eyes.
“It’s worn off,” she observed.
“Yes,” I agreed.
“It wasn’t dark this time, was it?” she asked softly. I shook my head. “Are you angry with me?”
“No, darling,” I assured her. “You might have given me a choice, though.”
“But you would have refused,” Lia said. “I knew that. I wanted to show you that I could control it.”
“It’s all right,” I said.
“But it was good. It was love, Pet, not something ugly,” she continued. “You could never touch me in an ugly way.”
“I adore you, Lia,” I agreed. “I’ve never felt anger or resentment for you.”
“Is that why you think I treated you that way?” Lia asked. “Do you think I’m angry at you?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “Maybe we should talk about it though,” I said, tightening my arms around her. “You’re obviously worried about it.”
“I’m not angry with you,” she whispered. “And I’ve never resented you. It was something else.”
“Do you blame me for abandoning you at Lareem, after we were discovered?” I asked. Lia shook her head. “I shouldn’t have allowed our relationship to develop if I wasn’t capable of protecting you,” I offered.
“I wanted you to the point of mania. I made you love me. You couldn’t have held me back. And I’m the one who wasn’t careful. I kissed you out in the open, and talked about wanting you, as if we were the only two people in the world, and perfectly safe,” she said. “You had no choice in what happened after that.”
“We were both careless that night, darling,” I said correcting her. “Maybe if I’d remained near Lareem Palace I could have helped you escape sooner,” I said. “But instead I left Faeland.”
“You had no choice,” she repeated, only more firmly this time. “Guards escorted you to Baneland. After that, for months, you were being watched. Lore described your daily activities to me, in detail. She enjoyed sharing with me little moments of your day just to prove she had power over you. For example, I know you trained with your Vilken guards in the mornings, in the three forms of combat arts, and that you worked tirelessly with your crews in the fields, and on the main house. Lore knew your every move. If you’d tried to come back for me, they would have known. There’s nothing you could have done at that point. I knew that.”
“You wanted to leave directly after your sister’s joining, but I refused,” I reminded.
“No. You’ve never refused me anything, Pet. You made love to me when I wanted you, and joined with me when I demanded it, and even accepted Astrid. If I’d truly wanted to go that night, you would have left with me. You loved me too much to refuse me anything,” Lia said quietly. “It wasn’t your fault, what happened. Stop trying to take the blame.”
“Do you think I love you less now?” I asked, noticing she spoke in the past tense.
“If you do it’s my own fault,” Lia replied, her eyes becoming red again.
“I love you more now than I ever have,” I said, trying to reassure her. “Everyday I love you more. And of course I joined with you. It’s what I wanted, darling, and accepting Astrid has been no hardship. I hate how she came into being, but I love her to the depths of my soul. You must know that,” I said.
“I do,” she agreed. “Sometimes I’m almost jealous of the affection you shower on her.”
“You’re everything to me, Lia,” I said. My arms tightened around her as I kissed her forehead. When I leaned back to meet her gaze I noticed her eyes looked unusual.
“I think I love you too much,” Lia whispered. “Even now after being with you all afternoon, I want more of you,” she confessed, shifting me over onto my back.
“Wait, Lia,” I said gently. “Your eyes look different. Your pupils are really large. Did you maybe splash the potion on your hands accidently?” I asked.
“I was extremely careful,” she assured me, before taking my lips. “No. It’s just you. You smell so wonderful, and I crave the taste of your skin. I want you like this every moment of every day.”
“I’m going to collect Astrid from Lore,” I said, shifting away from Lia and sitting up.
“Why, Pet? Lore’s good with her,” Lia argued.
“Something strange is happening to us,” I explained. “I need to clear my head,” I said. “I’ll go and find Lore and Astrid, and then come back.”
“I wish you would stay with me a little longer,” Lia said quietly.
“Lia, we’ve been in bed together for hours, and in all this while neither of us has even considered food, water, or the whereabouts of our daughter. That’s unusual behavior for both of us,” I said gently. “I want to ask M’Tek if she knows anything that could cause this type of reaction.”
Lia watched me as I went into our bath chamber, that little crease appearing between her pale eyebrows as she considered what I’d said. I quickly washed and dressed, while Lia remained in bed. She didn’t speak again. When I leaned over her to kiss her, she gently pressed her hands to the sides of my face and tried to coax me into bed with her again.
“I’ll be back soon, I promise,” I said as her hands dropped away.
In the sitting room I retrieved the little bottle of dark liquid and quickly headed off in search of M’Tek. I needed to know what it was Lia and I were toying with. As I rounded the corner from our hall I came across a guard that halted as I passed, staring at me. The next person I encountered was a guest, Vidame Feala of the House Griere. She and I had never been on good terms. During my early years as Prime, she repeatedly tried to petition for my support in her claim of lands adjoining her family estate. I’d refused every request because, quite honestly, she had no claim. Probably her goal in attending the solstice celebration was to persuade Lore of the validity of her assertions. When she saw me, her blue eyes grew wide, and she stepped into my path, halting me.
“Pet’Wyn,” she addressed me, informally. She’d never done that before. It was an enormous breach of protocol, since I outranked her considerably, and embarrassing for her, since I’d made no secret of disliking the woman.
“Good evening, Vidame Feala,” I replied firmly, intending to remind her to address me by my proper title.
She stepped close to me, embracing me warmly. “It’s been too long,” she said next to my ear. “You look delectable,” she added, her body pressing too closely against mine. I gripped the Vidame’s shoulders and forcefully pushed her back.
“Thank you, Vidame,” I said, using her title again. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m in a rush.”
“I won’t accept that. Now, I’ve just arrived. Come and share a glass of berrywine with me,” she suggested.
“Some other time perhaps,” I said coldly, turning away from the woman and continuing my progress down the hall. When I glanced back, I saw her standing, still in the middle of the hall, and watching me.
I rounded the corner with relief, but then I passed several more guests in the hall. All conversation stopped as I walked by and both men and women turned to watch me. I nodded a greeting, but didn’t slow down to speak when I heard my name called after me. I nearly ran the remainder of the distance to my old office, hoping I’d find M’Tek there.
Without taking the time to knock, I rushed in, discovering Lore working through her accounts. She stared up at me in surprise, her brilliant blue eyes fixed on me. A moment later she was around her desk,, her gaze travelling over me as her nostrils flared slightly.
“What are you doing here?” she almost whispered. I noticed her face flush
and she diverted her gaze.
“I’m looking for M’Tek,” I explained. “Something strange is happening to me. Will you bring her to me?”
Lore took a step closer, raising a hand to touch my cheek, her gaze moving over me again before focusing on my lips. I shrank back from her, placing my hand on the doorknob, ready to leave the room if she became more aggressive.
“She’s already headed this way,” Lore said, before stepping back and walking to the windows at the back of the room. “Have a seat and wait, Pet,” she offered. “M’Tek won’t be long.”
Lore turned her back to me, focusing her attention on the pristine blue lake framed by rugged mountains beyond her windows. I started to make conversation, but sensed she didn’t want that. After only a few minutes I felt the knob turn in my hand and stepped away from the door as M’Tek entered.
“What’s wrong?” M’Tek asked, her attention on Lore. And then M’Tek turned to face me. She inhaled deeply, her gaze slowly traveling over me before returning to my eyes. “Why do you smell this way, Pet?” M’Tek asked, arriving directly at the point.
“How do I smell, cousin?” I asked.
“Lust,” Lore offered from across the room, with her back still to me. “Or sex. I don’t mean that you smell of sex actually. In fact you smell as though you’ve just bathed. Beneath that fresh scent of soap, and lemons, there’s an alluring mossy scent. When I breathe the air near you, I can think of nothing but sex. It drives me to caress you, to taste your skin. It’s extraordinarily powerful.”
I watched M’Tek warily, expecting her to be angry that her queen had said something so provocative to me, but my cousin seemed unperturbed. I reached in my pocket for the little bottle of woodrose tincture, but something stopped me from showing it to them. M’Tek’s eyes were changing, as Lia’s had. Lore turned around to face me, her gaze moving over me again. I noticed the pupils of Lore’s eyes were large. M’Tek glanced from Lore, back to me, with obvious confusion.
“It may be something I’m wearing,” I said, instincts telling me my safest choice was to hide some of the truth, at least until I was certain of them. “A potion,” I admitted.
A Fortunate Woman Page 25