by Amy Cissell
“Finn, I do love you.” He moved forward, and I held up my hand. “Let me finish. I do love you. You’re my best friend. We’ve known each other for a long time, at least when compared to my lifespan to date, and you have a special place in my heart and in my life.
“I’ve never been happier than I am right now. Part of that is I’m on this trip with my best friend. However, Isaac has had a lot to do with all of this, too. He obviously has secrets. I’m curious what left him with little control and marginal personal hygiene. I want to know what pissed him off the morning of his fight with Greg and if that will come back to bite us in the ass. I hope he decides to confide in me before that happens, but I trust that he will confide in me.
“You can’t tell me that you don’t have any secrets of your own, Finn. Secrets that would upset me if I found them out.” I took a deep breath, not looking forward to what I was going to say next.
“I want the three of us to continue as we are now: companions on this quest. If that won’t work for you, then we’ll have to make a change. The problem is, I don’t think the change will make you any happier than you are right now.”
Finn gaped at me. “You’d choose him over me?”
“I don’t want to choose between my best friend and my lover. I want both of you in my life. But if you can’t live with that, then you need to walk away.”
“Away? I can’t believe you’re choosing him over me.”
“You’re not listening to me, Finn! Your continued refusal to accept the reality of my relationship with Isaac is your choice. Either choose to deal with it like a grown-up, or you choose to end our friendship.”
Finn stared determinedly forward.
“Is this it, then, Ellie?”
“It’s up to you, Finn. You can stay if you want, but if you do, you need to accept that you and I are never going to be what you want us to be. You said you were okay with this.”
Finn ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know Ellie. I thought I was. You’re having a good time, and I thought if I acted like it was okay, you’d grow tired of him more quickly than if I acted like a jealous idiot. I guess I can’t suppress the jealous part.”
“Or the idiot part,” I muttered.
“I heard that.”
“I meant you to,” I replied. “Finn, what are we going to do? What are you going to do?”
“I guess I’ll do my best to soldier on. I can’t leave.”
“If we’re going to keep on keeping on, you’re going to have to get a hold of yourself. No more disappearing on overnight sulks. Can you do that?”
Finn smiled, but the sadness around the edges nearly broke my heart. I didn’t know how much longer we’d be able to maintain this friendship if he was going to persist on being in love with me. I pushed that thought out of my head and curled up under his arm. He kissed the top of my head, and we sat there, rocking gently, until my stomach growled the lunch bell.
“What’s up, Ellie?” Finn asked. It was the night before my adventure with Florence, and I was pacing back and forth, full of frenetic energy.
“I’m nervous about tomorrow,” I replied, which was at least part of the truth that didn’t involve Isaac. “I’m headed out to the Badlands with a witch I’ve barely met.”
“Yeah, that is nervous making. Is that it?”
“I need to ask you some questions, and I’m not looking forward to it.”
“Now?” Finn asked.
“Yes.” I grabbed a couple beers and thought about how to ask. I was torn between seeing if I could force the issue and being a mature, rational adult and asking from a place of trust.
“So,” Finn prompted, acting for all the world like he was the mature, rational one.
I decided to play to my strengths and lay all my cards on the table. “You know how you can hear me when I need your help?”
He nodded, his face the perfect image of polite interest.
“Can you only hear me when I’m projecting like that, or could you read my thoughts regardless of my intent?”
Finn’s expression didn’t change, even a tiny bit, but a chill ran up my spine. “Mind reading or telepathy or whatever you want to call it is a pretty common ability among the Fae. However, it’s less common for a half-breed to inherit these powers. In order to be attuned directly to your signal, I needed assistance. I was encouraged to build a permanent link with your mind so that I could always hear you if you called out. I have some ability, or it wouldn’t have worked at all, but without assistance I wouldn’t have known how to forge that link.”
“Encouraged by who?”
“One of the Fae who delivered your father’s orders. I don’t know his name, only that he is a member of your father’s court.”
“Can the link be removed?” Finn looked hurt. I quelled my frustration with his delicate ego. “I’m merely wondering if it’s permanent. It’s my brain, after all.”
Finn smiled and my skin crawled. “I don’t know exactly how to remove the link.”
“But it might be possible?” I pressed.
“It might,” he allowed.
“Can you lie?” I asked.
“That was a quick change of subject,” Finn commented.
“Not really. I want to talk about your abilities. Arduinna said you could lie, and you didn’t deny it. I can see why it’d be handy to have her think you could. Any truths you tell are automatically suspect.”
“You heard her say that I’d told her you cared nothing for me, and that wasn’t true.”
“Ahhh, but that’s how you feel, isn’t it? If you’d worded it carefully, you wouldn’t have been lying. You’re so careful not to answer any questions, but your equivocating is becoming obvious. We’ve spent nearly every waking moment together for the last two months, so don’t be surprised I’m getting to know you better. I need you to look at me and give me real answers. If you can’t do that, don’t ever bring up Isaac’s secrets again. At least he acknowledges that he has them. You act like you’re an open book, but you won’t even tell me whether or not you can lie.”
I might play a level-headed, rational, lead with the head, not the heart woman on TV, but when you tripped my temper trigger, it didn’t take long for it to blow up.
“Answer the questions. These are yes or no only, and non-answers will be subject to assumptions you will never be able to shake.
“One—do you have the ability to tell lies? Two—can you read my thoughts when I’m not projecting actively? Three—do you have the ability to read other people’s thoughts, even if you don’t have the direct link forged?”
Finn opened his mouth, and I interrupted, “One more. Is Finnegan Daniel Byrne your true name?”
Finn disappeared.
“Son of a bitch,” I muttered. I was sure he hadn’t gone far, but he sure as shit wasn’t here answering my questions. It must have been the name question. It made sense that Finnegan wasn’t his true name—I was pretty sure Eleanor wasn’t mine—and there was no reason to give anyone that kind of power over him. That was the one question that didn’t matter, and it was odd that it was the one that had triggered his disappearance.
I drained my beer and went into the cabin. I threw the latch—this wasn’t the most secure room ever, but I guess it was still more secure than a tent—and climbed into bed. I reinforced my shields, tried to trust in the fact that Finn was certainly nearby, even if he wasn’t going to answer my questions, and drifted off to sleep.
I woke to the aroma of coffee. There was a large travel mug on the bedside stand wafting the most delicious scent my way. I sat up, checked my weapons, and grabbed the coffee. After a couple fortifying sips, I got dressed and packed. Finn had said yesterday that he and Isaac would find a new place to stay while Florence and I were off at magic summer camp.
I loaded all of our bags into the Jeep and made myself a gourmet Pop Tart breakfast. Once the entire cabin was packed up and everything was loaded, I sat down to wait.
A couple of hours later
, a noise made me look up. Isaac strode out of the trees, clad only in the boxer briefs he’d left in. My heart gave a great leap, and I ran towards him.
I hadn’t realized until that moment that I’d been worried he wouldn’t come back. I jumped into his arms, and he caught me.
I grabbed his face between my hands and kissed him, trying to pour all of my worry and fear and affection into that one action.
“Whoa, Princess,” he said. “With a greeting like that, I might be encouraged to do something completely inappropriate on the grass right here. Especially considering what I’m wearing.”
I laughed, and then he let go of me, sliding me down the length of his body. I pressed into him, enjoying the feeling of his hardness against my stomach. “Miss me?” I whispered.
“You’ve no idea how much,” he answered and then kissed me again.
“Me, too.”
He wrapped me in his arms and held me. After a while, he let go, and we walked back to the campsite. “I need a shower and some food that hasn’t recently been alive.”
I opened my mouth to volunteer to come scrub his back for him, and he looked at me and grinned. “It’d probably be quicker to shower alone. Could you rustle me up some grub?”
“Rustle you some grub? Who talks like that?” I teased.
He ignored me and winked. “I’d like one or two of those delicious sandwiches of yours.”
He pulled on a pair of jeans, grabbed some more clothing from the Jeep, and headed to the shower house.
I grumbled good-naturedly and made three turkey and cheese sandwiches. He didn’t take long in the shower, and took even less time devouring the sandwiches.
“Where’s Finn?”
“Not sure,” I replied. “I’m sure he’ll be back soon. I’m supposed to meet Florence at her store at noon, which means that we’ll need to leave in about a half hour if I’m not going to be late.”
“Hmmm...what can we do for the next half hour to kill time?” Isaac mused.
“We could talk about the last three days,” I suggested. “Trade information since we only have a couple of hours left together before being separated for the next two weeks.”
“I can think of better ways to spend the time. Plus, we’ll have that travel time for information exchanges.” He picked me up, carried me into the cabin, and showed me the best way to spend thirty minutes.
Chapter Sixteen
FINN STILL HADN’T appeared by the time we left. We checked out of the campground and drove back to Rapid City. Isaac was unconcerned with Finn’s prolonged absence.
“I know you’re used to telling him what he needs to know telepathically, but we do have cell phones. I’ll call him and tell him where I’m staying, and if he wants to show up, he can. He is not my priority.”
“What are you going to do while I’m away at magic summer camp?” I twined my fingers through his and tried not to think about how much I was already missing him. It was only two weeks—about half the time I’d known him.
“I’m going to investigate the pack and see what people are saying—if anything—about Florence leaving with us. We might need a bigger vehicle, too, to accommodate all the new people.”
“We could get an RV and a camera crew! Imagine—five strangers, each with supernatural powers, are on a quest to open magical gates that will change the world as we know it! Follow their epic journey and personality clashes as they traverse the country in a minivan. The Fairy Princess who only recently learned of her heritage and her power; the shifter, cursed by blood to turn into a wolf at the full moon; the half-blood elf who can teleport and read minds; the powerful sorceress who can flay her enemies with her mind; and the mysterious fifth companion who will join the team halfway through to shake up the status quo.”
“I’d watch that,” Isaac said. “Although I’m a little scared of Florence now. I hope she doesn’t go all dark Willow on us.”
“Do you know how much I love that you get my Buffy references?”
Isaac smiled at me. “Tell me.”
I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “So much that I am successfully resisting asking you about your recent past. Your statements made it sound like you were hibernating—as the old ones do—when you were actually memorizing Buffy while taking a dirt bath.”
“Your success is unparalleled,” Isaac said.
“What? That was totally subtle.”
He laughed, but his eyes didn’t reflect the humor. “I know I owe you an explanation. You made assumptions when we first met, and I didn’t bother to correct them. I didn’t know how much I could trust you and Finn at first. However, by continuing to allow you to believe things about me that are untrue, I am perpetuating a lie. I do believe that my secrets have no bearing on what we are doing here, but if you and I continue as we are, to become more, then I’ll need to tell you some of these things.”
“I don’t want to push you right now.” Especially if that means having a discussion about feelings. “I’m going on a two-week camping trip with a complete stranger who may or may not turn me into a frog. I trust you, Isaac, but there are cracks in your story, and it makes me wonder what I’m missing. I can wait a little longer.”
“Thank you,” Isaac said.
“You probably shouldn’t. I’m Fae. I might take advantage of your gratitude.”
“You can take advantage of me any time.”
I laughed and leaned over to kiss him again.
“A question for you, Princess,” Isaac said. “Did you have the talk with Finn?”
“We had two talks. The first, about his jealousy issues went decently well. He did try to convince me that it was a matter of time before I tired of you and fell in love with him. I disabused him of that notion and he sulked, but not as much as expected.
“Last night, I broached the subject of his elfly tele-powers. I asked if he could lie, whether or not he could read my thoughts when I wasn’t actively projecting, if he could read anyone else’s, and then, as he was about to answer, I asked if Finnegan Byrne was his real name. And he vanished! Poof!
“It was weird, because I honestly don’t care one way or another. He had to give me a name when we met, and there’s no reason he’d give me his real one. I mean, ‘By the way, my real name is actually John Smith, but please keep calling me Finn because it’s cooler’ would’ve been appreciated, but certainly not a deal-breaker. I don’t think Eleanor is my true name.”
“How much of that monologue was for Finn’s benefit?”
I grinned. “About ninety percent. I’m assuming the answers to the first three questions were no, yes, and yes. I’m pretty sure he’s reading my mind on a fairly frequent basis, although I think distance makes it harder. He can probably read yours, too.”
“I’ll keep thinking nothing but pure thoughts then.” Isaac pulled into a parking spot at the strip mall.
“You do that.” I opened the door and grabbed my stuff then waited by the car for Isaac.
“It’ll be okay,” he said. “You’re strong. You can defend yourself. You’re going to learn how to hone your powers and mitigate the gate damage. I’ll see you in two weeks.”
I dropped my pack and threw my arms around him. His mouth came down on mine, and his farewell kiss left me weak-kneed and gasping.
“I’ll miss you, Isaac.” I swallowed hard, willing myself not to cry.
“I’ll miss you, too, Eleanor,” he replied, wiping an errant tear off my cheek with his thumb. “I know you’ll be fine, but please take extra care of yourself. You carry my heart with you and I’d rather not have it damaged too much.”
“This is lame,” I sniffled. “I don’t do tears. And declarations of heart transference leave me cold.”
Isaac’s kissed me again. “Call me when you’re on your way back, and I’ll come pick you up.”
I steeled myself, straightened my shoulders, and walked into Florence’s.
Florence was waiting for me. Her aura of militant calm did not betray the impatience I w
ould’ve felt had our positions been reversed and my new protégé had shown up twenty minutes late. Maybe she’d used her precognitive powers and knew when I’d be rolling in. That would be handy.
“Ready?” she asked.
I nodded, hitched up my pack a little higher, and followed her out to her truck. I threw my backpack in the bed of her pick-up, and we took off. The ride was silent for the first forty-five minutes. I didn’t want to start a conversation, because I knew my famed self-restraint was about at the end, and I’d bombard her with questions.
I couldn’t get comfortable, and every time I shifted in my seat, it squeaked. I fidgeted like a five-year-old and had to keep myself from asking, “Are we there yet? How many more miles?”
Florence drove on, a small smile playing around her lips. When she pulled off the interstate at Wall, I couldn’t take it any longer.
“Where are we going? What are we doing? Do you have an agenda? Goals?”
“Did you forget to ask how many more miles?”
“This is driving me crazy. At least when I took off with Isaac and Finn, I knew the end game.”
“What is it?” Florence asked.
“My original end game was to open the remaining gates, head back to Portland, have a giant party, and then sleep for a week. When I found out what happened after the first gate opening, I knew I had to amend it to include not killing anyone in the process.”
“Why do you want to open the gates?”
“If I’m honest, I’m not sure I do. I don’t fully understand the ramifications. I know it’ll facilitate traffic between Earth and the Fae plane, allow magic back into a world that has little memory of magic, and that the Fae that are most closely aligned with the Earth can help restore environmental balance. I know that even though Finn and Arduinna can’t lie, they can mislead, and I’ve no doubt that they would to advance their agendas.
“The wi-mages that I met in Portland are strongly against it, even if would mean an overall bump to their power base. From what Finn’s told me, this is due to the unfortunate kidnapping habit the Fae have.” The temperature in the car dropped about fifty degrees, and I could see my breath. I looked over at Florence and, for the first time that day, her easy calm had turned icy. Literally.