by Alyson Noel
I’d also like to mention that the whole entire time Tassos and I were swimming, my aunt Tally was lying on the beach, reading one of her many books, COMPLETELY TOPLESS!
Seriously!
And believe me, I wish I was kidding, but from what I’ve seen around here so far, pretty much everyone goes topless at the beach.
Well, everyone BUT ME!
And I can’t imagine I ever will. I mean, it’s just too weird, and it made me really uncomfortable. I seriously couldn’t even look at my aunt until it was time to leave and she put her T-shirt back on.
So then later, after we got back home and we all took showers and stuff, Tassos prepared the octopus and put together a big Greek salad, while I helped Tally peel a bunch of potatoes so we could make homemade french fries. And then they poured some wine (yup, they even let me have a glass!) and put on a Beatles CD (oh yeah, I forgot to mention that she has no problem with music, just television) and we ate our meal outside and sang that old song, “Here Comes the Sun.”
Only we changed the words to “There Goes the Sun” because while we were eating we were watching it set.
And even though it probably sounds pretty dorky and lame (I mean, it was totally and completely dorky), in some weird way, it was also kind of fun.
But that’s only because it’s so boring around here, that’s pretty much the best you can hope for.
The only bad thing is I didn’t get to the Internet café until now. And since it’s pretty late, Petros has spent the last five minutes giving me the international sign to skedaddle—which basically means he is now standing by the door and waving at me to get out. Which also means he’s just thirty seconds away from marching right over and grabbing my sleeve.
I swear, the customer service totally sucks around here!
Anyway, before I go I should mention that the last picture is of me eating octopus—which I know is probably pretty self-explanatory, but still, it is kind of hard to believe. I mean, I never thought I’d see the day, because—gag!
And trust me, the only reason I’m smiling is because Tassos was holding the camera and I didn’t want to make him feel bad.
Besides, you know what they say—“When in Greece…”
Okay, Petros is now yanking on my sleeve, muttering something in Greek. And even though I have no idea what he’s saying, trust me, the subtext is not good.
So…Good night!
Please, please, comment me!
Colby
June 25
Dear Dad,
Thanks for finally sending me your new address, though I have to say it seems really weird to imagine you living in an apartment. I mean, can you hear the neighbors upstairs? And how big is it? Is there a separate room for me, for when I come visit?
Also, I’ve been thinking—now that you are officially out of the house and no longer arguing with Mom except through your lawyers, I thought maybe it would be okay if I come home. And it’s not just because I’m feeling homesick (though I won’t lie to you, Dad, I am), but I think Mom might really need me to help her through this difficult time. I mean, since you refuse to talk to each other you probably aren’t aware of this, but from her last letter I could really sense her loneliness, and I think she might really need me.
Though I want to make it clear that I’m telling you this in the strictest confidence, because I’m sure she wouldn’t want you to know. So let’s just keep this between us and please don’t make any mention of it to either her or your attorney.
If you’d like, you can either overnight the ticket, or arrange for me to pick it up at the ticket counter.
Either way, I’m sure Aunt Tally will understand.
See you soon—
Love,
Colby
June 25
Dear Mom,
Just wanted to wish you a good time on your yoga retreat!
Also, I’ve been thinking—now that Dad is officially out of the house and you two are no longer arguing except through your lawyers, I thought maybe it would be okay if I come home. And it’s not just because I’m feeling homesick (though I won’t lie to you, Mom, I am), but I think Dad might really need me to help him through this difficult time. I mean, since you refuse to talk to each other you probably aren’t aware of this, but from his last letter I could really sense his loneliness, and I think he might really need me.
Though I want to make it clear that I’m telling you this in the strictest confidence, because I’m sure he wouldn’t want you to know. So let’s just keep this between us and please don’t make any mention of it to either him or your attorney.
If you’d like, you can either overnight the ticket, or arrange for me to pick it up at the ticket counter.
Either way, I’m sure Aunt Tally will understand.
See you soon—
Love,
Colby
June 26
To: AmandaStar
From: ColbyCat
Re: Um, remember me?
Hey Amanda,
Jus ckg in 2 say hey B cuz I haven’t heard from U in ages!
U haven’t 4gotten me, right?
Hope UR good—
I’m Gr8!
K, not really cuz IM actually completely homesick!
Write back!
Colby
P.S. Say hi 2 Levi! PLZ!!
Cruel Summer
June 26
I was going to post a bunch of pictures of this name-day festival that Tally and Tassos dragged me to, but since apparently no one is even commenting on this blog, much less reading it, I’m not going to bother. I mean, what’s the point?
But just so you know what you’re missing, a name-day festival is actually a really big party that’s held in honor of the Greeks who are named after saints (which, believe me, is practically all of them). And since just about every day of the year has been dedicated to the memory of a saint, they all celebrate their saint’s day or “name-day” like they do a b-day, with roasted pigs and music and baklava (which is like a really bizarre dessert, super crusty and drenched in honey), along with other assorted delicacies.
And just in case you’re wondering (though I know you probably aren’t), for those unfortunate few who are not named after a saint, well, they still get to party on All Saints’ Day, which is sometime after Greek Easter (yes, they even have their own separate Easter here).
Okay, well, I wish you all a warm, wonderful, and terribly exciting summer.
Because mine’s turning out to be pretty much the opposite.
Colby
Colby’s Journal for Desperate Times When She’s So Depressed She Refuses to Leave Her Room
June 27
Here is a list of PEOPLE WHO SUCK and the VERY VALID reasons why:
1) Amanda—Not only has she yet to respond to my last two e-mails, but she’s also yet to leave a comment on my blog, which makes me think she hasn’t even read it after that one time, and even then all she did was bug me about that picture of Petros, and make fun of his mustache, and ask me if I hooked up with him, and a whole lot of other rude nonsense like that. Which pretty much leads me to believe that she’s not at all the friend I thought hoped she was.
2) Levi Bonham—No e-mail. No contact. No comment.
3) Penelope—I don’t have to actually KNOW her to know how bad she sucks. That picture of her hanging all over Levi at that party I didn’t get to go to (because I’m stuck HERE!) was worth a trillion, gazillion words.
4) My mom—Um, excuse me, but where to even begin?
5) My dad—Ditto.
6) Tinos—Yes I know Tinos is an island and not a person, but it’s also not Mykonos, which means it sucks. Totally and completely sucks. Leave it to me to end up on the world’s most boring island ever.
7) Tally
8) Tassos
Okay, the reason I crossed Tally and Tassos off the list is because I just realized that they don’t actually suck. I mean, granted, they are a little weird, what with all their plant-whispering, meditating, h
ippie-music-loving stuff. But still, it’s not like they really bug me all that bad or anything. Because the truth is, they pretty much leave me alone.
Like right now for instance, I’ve basically been holed up in my room for the last two days, and all Tally has done so far is stick her head in each morning and go, “Hey, no Internet café today?”
And I just shrug, sigh, roll my eyes, and stare at the ceiling some more.
And then she goes, “Okay, well, just so you know Tassos is heading out to his studio.” (He’s an artist, does marble sculptures and also makes ceramics and stuff. He’s pretty good too, and kind of famous, at least in the world of marble sculpture and ceramics.) “And I’m heading to the shop, but we’ll both be back around two in case you want to go to the beach. But if not, that’s cool too.”
And the funny thing is, she said all of that as though I haven’t already memorized their schedules by now. I mean, every day it’s pretty much the same thing—work in the morning, break at two for the beach, come home and eat a lunch made of whatever Tassos happened to catch and whatever’s ripe in Tally’s garden, then a quick shower before heading back to work for a few more hours, and then home for a late dinner where they usually invite a bunch of friends.
And even though it might sound like an okay life (I mean, if you really like to keep it simple, and back to basics, and enjoy a high tolerance for quiet moments with lots of boredom thrown in), and even though I sometimes relent and go to the beach with them, for the last two days, I’ve chosen not to.
I mean, what’s the point?
What’s the point of anything?
Because the fact is:
1) Amanda has moved on. Which means my senior year is destined to suck. Which means all my hard work was for nothing. Which means my shot at popularity is now null and void. Which means I’m back to being just another pathetic wannabe who fades into high school oblivion. Which means when I show up at my ten-year reunion everyone will go, “Colby? Colby WHO? Did you even go here?”
2) Levi forgot I exist. Because even though I stayed past my curfew, and even though I slept with him, I still refused to take off my dress. And because of that he’s now moved on to some skinny strawberry-blond chick named Penelope who probably has no curfew and no problem with casual nudity. But the truth is, even if it wasn’t Penelope it would still be someone else, because the cold hard fact is he never really liked me in the first place. He was just bored and restless and trying to pass the time. And even though I was never dumb enough to fool myself into thinking we were in love, or a couple, or anything remotely like that (mostly because I don’t believe in any of that nonsense to begin with), still, you’d think he could at least take twenty seconds out of his extremely busy day to send me an e-mail, or something, since it’s not like he didn’t know I was a virgin.
3) My parents, who even though they cannot communicate about anything without yelling and screaming to the point where they’ve decided to communicate only through their attorneys, are apparently able to overcome their anger obstacles when it comes to all matters concerning me. Which means I was totally busted for my little letter-writing scam during the course of a very awkward, highly uncomfortable (um, that would be ME not THEM, as they were totally cool, calm, collected, and completely in the zone) ten-minute conference call where they informed me, in no uncertain terms, that I was to remain in Tinos, until my mandatory sentence has been completed, on the day otherwise known as August 31. And that there will be no time off for good behavior, bad behavior, or consideration of time served. And to stop trying to play them against each other because they’re totally on to me.
So, in a nutshell, that is why I’m giving up.
I mean, I tried to make the best of it, I tried to keep in touch by creating a cute blog, sending e-mails, and writing letters and postcards so no one would forget me, but in the end, it just didn’t work.
Because everyone did forget me.
Because they never really cared about me in the first place.
So rather than continue to beat my head against the wall, I’ve decided to spend the rest of my summer sitting right here in my little white room, emerging only for the occasional meal and bathroom break. I mean, if they want to put me in jail, then fine, I’ll do the time.
But come August 31, I WILL be on that plane.
And I WILL return to Orange County.
Where my completely crummy life WILL still be waiting for me.
Cruel Summer
July 1
Okay, I know I said this blog was history since no one is reading it anyway, but the thing is, keeping this blog alive almost feels like it’s keeping ME alive.
Seriously.
It’s like, not only does it give me somewhere to go every day, but it also makes me feel like I have some kind of purpose.
Even if that purpose is just wasting my time, cribbing a blog that no one cares enough to read. But since I’m actually kind of sick of just sitting in my room, I figured—What the hey? I’ll just keep going.
Even if I am the only one who knows it exists.
Even if I am the only who cares.
So anyway, back to business:
1) This is a picture of my cat!
That’s right, I adopted a kitten and he (or she, I haven’t, um, really checked things out that thoroughly yet) is even more adorable in person. Seriously! Though I am really hoping it turns out to be a she because I named her/him/it Holly after Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Partly because I totally love that movie/book, and partly because she’s all black with a little white streak across her forehead—um, do cats have foreheads?
Whatever.
Anyway, she totally reminds me of Audrey Hepburn in the movie, because Audrey always dressed in those cute little black dresses, not to mention how she had a white streak too.
She was also really, really skinny, and when I found Holly she was really, really skinny too. And seemed like she needed protecting—just like Holly in both the book and movie versions!
The only thing is, I haven’t actually told Tally and Tassos yet. Mostly because I know it probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do since I’m leaving by the end of the summer anyway (YIPEE!!). But still, Holly was all alone when I found her (him?), just sitting in the middle of the dirt road, looking lost, and lonely and completely afraid. But the moment I knelt down, she ran right up and gazed at me with those big, sad, hungry blue eyes, and when she started rubbing against my leg and purring, well, obviously adoption was my only choice.
I mean, had I just left her there to fend for herself, there’s a very good chance she never would’ve made it to the end of the day. But even if the best I can give her is a nice, happy, safe, and comfortable three months, then that may just be three more months than she otherwise would’ve gotten.
Besides, everything has a beginning, middle, and end. So when it’s time to say good-bye, I’ll be ready.
But for now, I totally plan to tell Tally and Tassos tonight—so wish me luck!
Even though I know I’m the only one reading this!
Colby
Cruel Summer
Blog Comments:
Anonymous said:
Good to see you are back to blogging again.
From someone who has read all of your posts.
ColbyCat said:
Mom, is this you???
I mean, I know it’s you so just quit with the mysterious act. It’s so dumb.
Anonymous said:
I’m definitely not your mom.
Though I’m sorry you think that I’m dumb.
ColbyCat said:
Um, okay. It’s not that I think you’re actually dumb—whoever you are—it’s just that I think the whole ANONYMOUS thing is kind of—well—dumb.
Anonymous said:
Thank you for clearing that up. Though for now, I still choose to remain ANONYMOUS, even though I know you think that it’s dumb.
P.S. I like your cat.
Colby’s Journal for
Desperate Times for Things She Can’t Possibly Post in Her Blog Now That She Knows Mysterious Someone Is Reading It
July 2
Okay, I know it was only recently that I was whining and going on and on about how no one was reading my blog. Well now, apparently somebody is. Only I don’t know who, since they signed in under ANONYMOUS. And even though I seriously considered restricting all anonymous comments, in the end I just couldn’t do it. Mostly because it’d be like booting out your best (and only!) customer—not unlike what Petros often does to me.
And it’s weird how I originally thought I wanted lots of readers and comments, but now I’m not so sure. I mean, now that I know someone is reading it, I’m no longer sure what to write. I guess if I knew WHO was reading it, then it might make it easier. Like, if it’s my mom or dad, then I could use my blog for maximum effect, and make my life sound so lonely and pathetic they’d have to be completely inhuman (which I’m beginning to think they are) not to feel awful and guilty enough to let me come home.
But if it’s Levi, then obviously the pathetic angle would be all wrong. I mean, I don’t want to come off as ecstatic or anything (because then he might think that things are too good here, and that I actually don’t need him to visit me—which would be so completely false!). But I don’t want to sound quite so bored and depressed either.
I guess the perfect balance is to sound a little bored, but only because I’m just way too cool to even be here in the first place. (Thus making my blog an experiment in fiction!)
And if it’s Amanda, then I definitely need to make it sound like I’m totally partying and hanging with the cool group, so she won’t start regretting that she ever started talking to me in the first place (even though she probably/obviously does).
See how complicated this has become now that I have a subscriber?
I swear, it was a whole lot easier when I was the only reader.