by Amy Andrews
‘Yes,’ Katya said, removing the napkin that an attentive waiter had placed on her lap and throwing it on the table.
How was it possible to still love him? Because she knew he was just doing whatever it took to be with his baby. Just as she was doing. She had no doubt that he would love and dote on their son with every breath in his body.
A streak of jealousy burned through her gut and Katya knew it was wrong. Knew it was twisted.
All the fight suddenly left her. ‘I’ll be back this time next week. I’ll let you know when I’m getting in.’
She stood to leave. There was no point in staying. Her heart was breaking in two and she might just do something stupid, like tell him she loved him.
‘Katya.’
Ben stood and put a stilling hand on her arm gazing at her face, trying to read her thoughts. She looked sad and defeated and exhausted. Tears shimmered unshed in her eyes. And something else he couldn’t put his finger on.
He almost told her then.
He hated himself for being so harsh. So cold. All he wanted to do was pull her into his arms. Kiss away the tears. Tell her he loved her. But he couldn’t make the words come out of his mouth.
She looked down at where he was holding her arm and Ben slowly let her go watching her walk away without looking back until she disappeared from sight.
‘Everything OK, Count Medici?’ the head waiter asked anxiously.
‘No. May I have another Scotch?’
Ben ate his meal. He had won. Why didn’t it feel like a victory? Seeing her all pliant and docile had left a bitter taste in his mouth. He preferred the Katya who had first arrived at the table. Maybe once the baby was born and she was too busy to resent him, they could eventually be friends. Even though it would be very hard to pretend there wasn’t more.
Hard? It would be impossible.
He’d almost told her just then. How long did he think he could hold out? Could he go along loving her from afar forever?
Did he want to?
It would kill him, slowly but surely. He knew how it was to hold her, to make love to her. How could he see her every day, want her every day and still stay sane?
That’s why he’d left Italy over the Bianca fiasco. Having to face his brother and his ex every day would have been too hard. And his feelings for his long-ago ex were nothing compared to the depth of his feelings for Katya. She had showed him so much in the time he had known her.
He had matured and his ability to love had matured, too.
And she had given him the gift of a child and he loved them both dearly. Was he going to let what had happened a decade ago ruin his happiness now? He had let Bianca go, had run. But he was older now, and wiser, and Katya had taught him the meaning of true love.
Surely he had to fight for her as well, not just their child?
A woman laughed and Ben looked around. There were a lot of glamorous bejewelled women there that night. But Katya outshone them all. And he’d just let her walk out the door.
His thoughts crystallized for the first time in two weeks. The last time he’d had his heart broken, what had he done? He’d run away. Felt sorry for himself. Played the victim.
Well, not this time.
Mario’s death had been the catalyst for a lot of change over the last few months. But when he thought about it, it had been Katya’s gift that fateful night that had impacted his life most. Her recognition of his distress and her unquestioning generosity had shaken and humbled him.
He’d fallen in love with her that night.
And not the love of a young man obsessed with perfection and finding the right woman to show off to his brother and the rest of the world. But that of a man with a damaged spirit who had found his soul mate.
So, she didn’t love him. And that hurt.
But it was time to fight for her. To declare his intention of wooing her, of winning her over.
And in the end, if he failed, then he could hold his head up high and know that he had given it his all. When Bianca had thrown his love back, he’d fled.
But Katya wasn’t Bianca. Katya wasn’t some young man’s fancy. She was the woman for him. The only woman for him.
A lot had changed in a few short months. And if Bianca and Mario had been alive today, he would have thanked them for their betrayal for it had led him to the woman of his heart.
Throwing back the rest of the contents of his glass, Ben paid his bill and left.
It was time to stop running away.
Katya was lying in bed, crying, when the banging on her door started. She was in her pyjamas, staring unseeingly at the television.
She knew it was him. ‘Go away,’ she croaked.
‘Damn it, Katya, open the door.’
‘Go away, Ben. You got what you want. Leave me alone.’
‘Katya! I have something to say and then I’ll leave, I promise. But so help me, I’ll stay here all night if I need to. You have to come out of there eventually.’
Another stream of hot tears spilled down Katya’s face. She believed him. Sighing, she rose to her feet, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue and blowing her nose. Undoing the deadbolt and the chain latch she flung the door open.
He looked like hell. His tie was gone, his collar unbuttoned, his shirt half hanging out. ‘Can’t this wait?’
‘No. I need to talk to you now.’
‘Fine.’ Katya folded her arms.
When it became obvious she wasn’t inviting him in he said, ‘I’m not doing this in the corridor.’
‘Afraid you’ll catch a disease?’ she snapped, and turned on her heel, leaving him to find his own way in as she got back into bed and pulled the covers up to her chin.
Ben felt the familiar surge of frustration well up inside as he shut the door and crossed to the bed. Sometimes she was so maddening he wanted to pull her across his knees and smack her bottom. ‘You’ve been crying.’
‘Don’t flatter yourself,’ she said, pointing to the television. ‘It’s a sad movie.’
‘Since when have you cried at movies?’
‘Since I got pregnant,’ she flared.
Ben picked up the remote from her bedside table and switched the television off. ‘Problem solved.’
‘I was watching that!’
Ignoring her, Ben pulled up a chair and placed it beside the bed. ‘Katya, please...I want to talk to you. I don’t want things to be like this between us.’
‘Oh, I suppose you want us to be friends after your little threat before?’
Katya knew she was being unreasonable but he was so close and it had been two weeks and she’d missed him.
‘No, I don’t want to be your friend.’
‘Well, that won’t —’
‘Katya,’ Ben interrupted harshly, ‘please shut up. I have something to say and I’d really appreciate if you could just keep your shrewish tongue still until I’ve finished. Do you think you can do that?’ he demanded.
Katya blinked at his masterful tone. ‘Do you promise to leave as soon as it’s said?’
He sighed. ‘Yes.’ Ben figured she’d probably turf him out anyway.
‘OK, then.’ She drew her knees up and placed her hands protectively across her abdomen.
Now he had the opportunity, Ben wasn’t sure where to start. ‘I realized something big recently, after you’d gone. I realised that I loved you.’
She opened her mouth to speak and he held up his hand and shot her a warning look.
‘I was angry, too, of course. In fact, it’s been anger that has got me through this last two weeks. Because I realised that it was all one-sided. Because if you loved me, you wouldn’t have taken my baby away.’
Katya tried to interject again but again he hushed her.
‘It was like Bianca all over again. Loving someone who didn’t love me back. And that hurt and it brought back painful memories. But it’s worse this time around because I was so immature last time. I didn’t know the true meaning of love. I was selfish. Thinking that it w
as all about me and my feelings. You helped me see that it wasn’t some great conspiracy against me, that things like that happen in life sometimes. You showed me a mature form of love. A selfless love. By letting me seek solace in your body when I needed it so badly, even though you were a virgin, and by being willing to give up your baby because you didn’t think you’d be a fit mother.’
Katya’s hands trembled as his words sunk in. He loved her? Was it possible? Her heart thundered in her ears as she lay waiting for the but.
‘But...’
Yep. Here it came. Katya held her breath, waiting to hear how her running off and her behaviour tonight had totally destroyed his love.
‘Tonight I decided I wasn’t going to lie down and take it like I did with Bianca. I’ve decided I’m going to fight for it. I know you don’t love me back, that you may never love me, but I’m declaring my intention to woo you.’
‘But —’
Ben held up his hand again. ‘I know my whole lifestyle makes you uncomfortable and I’m sorry. I can’t change who I am. I know that because I spent a lot of years fighting it. And it was you who made me see that I could be the version of me that I wanted to be, not the one everyone expected. And this title allows me to do so much more good in this world. But I don’t need or care for any of its trappings. We’ll stay home every night and eat bruschetta from Taddeo’s if it means that you’ll grow to love me.’
‘Ben —’
He shook his head. ‘No. I haven’t finished yet. And if you never love me, at least I’ll know that I tried and that there’ll be honesty between us. Because if we’re going to raise this child separately, we’re going to need that.’
Tears build in Katya’s eyes and one rolled down her cheek. He had said the words she had never thought she’d hear from his mouth. ‘What about Bianca? Don’t you still love her?’
Ben rubbed his hands through his hair. ‘No. I’ve been hanging onto my bitterness not because I still love her but to protect myself from getting hurt again. I was a fool. You’re the one I love. You were right there in front of me and I didn’t realise it until you were gone. I’d been so used to emotional isolation I didn’t recognise that you’d brought me back into the fold.’
Beneath her hands, the baby moved giving Katya a couple of hefty kicks. She looked at Ben, his face so earnest, so hopeful and picked his hand up off his knee. She brought it across and placed it under hers down low on her bump where the baby was partying.
Ben stared in wonder at the strong movements, dropping to his knees beside the bed and burying his face against her abdomen, his cheek resting against the bulge. He kissed her gently there, where the baby was somersaulting, and cinnamon suffused his senses.
He had missed her so much.
Katya stared at his head as his lips seared her abdomen even through layers of bed linen and pyjamas and her heart swelled with love. ‘Do you remember the moment?’ she asked quietly, her hand creeping down to sift through his dark hair.
Ben looked up at her. ‘What moment?’
‘That you fell in love with me.’
‘Of course. It was the night we made love for the first time. I didn’t realise it then but, looking back, I know I’ve loved you since that night.’
Katya smiled. ‘Me, too.’
Ben stilled. ‘You, too?’
‘Yep.’ She pushed a lock of hair off his forehead. ‘I didn’t realise it until the night we made love at the villa. But you were so devastated after the news of Mario’s death. So intense. So...different. You flipped every switch I possessed.’
He nodded slowly. ‘It was a night of great pain, but also intensely moving. I’m so sorry about the next morning.’
‘Don’t,’ she said dismissively. ‘I reacted badly, too. I was angry at myself for being so irresponsible. Like my mother.’
They looked at each other for long moments, slowly breaking into grins as their revelations just now sunk in.
‘Move,’ Katya said, as she wriggled.
Ben straightened as she displaced him from his position, looking at her questioningly. He’d liked that spot. But then she pulled back the covers and held them open for him.
‘Well?’ she said. ‘You want to get closer?’
Ben’s grin got even bigger. Standing, he shucked his shoes then joined her under the covers, fully clothed. He sighed as she came eagerly into his arms, her head against the steady thump of his heart and he knew this was where he wanted to be forever.
‘I’m sorry about these last two weeks, Ben. Once I realised I couldn’t give up the baby, I couldn’t stay. I didn’t want to live with a man who could never love me back.’
‘Hush,’ he said revelling in their bodies pressed together again. ‘I know. I understand. I didn’t know how I was going to face you every day either, knowing I loved you. Knowing you didn’t love me.’
Katya sighed. What fools they’d been. ‘I love you, Ben.’
He looked into her eyes capturing her gaze. ‘I love you too, Katya. Marry me?’
‘Anywhere,’ she agreed. ‘Any time.’
Ben lowered his head, claiming her mouth, tasting her tears as they tracked down her face and mingled with their meshed lips.
‘Don’t cry,’ he whispered. ‘I’m going to make you happier than you’ve ever been in your life. I’m going to start right now.’
And Katya gave herself up to the delicious promise.
THE END
EPILOGUE
KATYA reclined back against the pillows, weary but content, Mario Ivan Medici snuggled in her arms, sleeping peacefully. His cherubic face was gorgeous, his features a mirror image of his father’s.
Ben, sitting on the chair beside the bed, smiled at her —the most beautiful woman in the whole world. Watching her give birth to their son had been the most humbling experience of his life and he bowed to the amazing power and control of his wife-to-be. Pulling a flat square leather box out of his inner jacket pocket, he handed it over.
Katya looked at it without touching, noticed the company motif and tears welled in her eyes. Her heartbeat picked up tempo and she could hear the sound of her breathing loud in her ears as he opened the box. She gave a soft gasp, even though she’d known the minute he’d produced it what the box contained.
The cameo.
Ben watched the play of emotion across her face. The same ones he’d seen in the shop that day. A glimpse of the little girl she’d been before she’d lost her childhood. A glimpse of the yearning that she’d suppressed so hard. He’d had the cameo attached to a two-strand red coral choker and he lifted it over her head and placed it around her neck. She didn’t protest, just sat very still while he latched it at her nape.
Katya stroked the delicate chalky white carving of the curly-haired woman with the bare shoulders and sad smile. It felt strange around her neck but also, perversely, like it belonged there. She knew she would treasure it forever.
‘Thank you,’ she said quietly, her eyes meeting his. ‘It’s beautiful.’
‘I want you to wear it on our wedding day.’
Tears shimmered in her blue eyes. ‘I’ll wear it with pride.’
He dropped a kiss on her blonde head and she raised her face to claim another on her mouth. The baby stirred and Katya broke off, hushing and rocking him gently.
‘We were supposed to speak to the mayor today,’ Katya said after her son had settled. ‘Do you think he’ll reschedule?’
Ben chuckled. ‘I think when he knows we were a little busy, he’ll fit us in another time. He’s as eager to marry us as we are to marry each other, cara.’
‘What about the sundial? Will that be done by the wedding date?’
Ben eased out of his seat and crossed to the balcony looking down at the gardens, the Med sparkling like a jewel in the distance. Two workmen were installing the heavy masonry ornament down on the bottom tier of the garden.
He’d decided to honour his brother with a sundial. It had been the one thing Mario had always wanted to se
e in the garden and had never got around to doing.
The process had been cathartic, to say the least.
Their wedding was taking place next to the sundial, and Ben felt like he was finally claiming the gardens for himself while still acknowledging his brother’s contribution. Both to the gardens and his life.
And he had Katya to thank for it.
‘They’ll be finished tomorrow,’ he said as he returned to his seat. ‘Did you speak with your mother?’
Katya smiled and nodded. ‘She and Dimitri are both coming.’
That her mother had married two months ago had come as a complete surprise. That a bridge had finally been built between mother and daughter, even more so. It was new and rickety, and Katya wasn’t sure they’d ever be really close, but she’d never heard her mother so content, and it was a start.
And she Ben to thank for it.
‘They arrive at the weekend.’
In fact, thanks to Ben, her whole family was going to attend the wedding. Sophia, Anna and Marisha were all going to be bridesmaids.
Katya linked her spare hand with his and they both sat watching their newborn son sleep. ‘Thank you,’ Ben said. ‘Thank you for making me the happiest man in the world.’
Katya smiled at Ben, her heart filling with joy and love. ‘Thank you,’ she replied. ‘For him. For this.’ She touched her cameo. ‘For being patient. For helping me reconnect with my mother. For loving me.’
Ben rose and kissed Katya lightly on the mouth. ‘I’m going to spend the rest of my life loving you.’
And then he kissed her properly. Today was a wonderful day. His son was healthy. Katya was happy. The Lucia Trust was thriving.
Life was perfect.
Just as they both deserved.
Read on for the first chapter of Prognosis Incompatible!
PROGNOSIS INCOMPATIBLE – Chapter 1
MADELINE HARRINGTON was grateful for the air-conditioning in her car as she pulled up at the roadworks. There was heavy earthmoving machinery blocking the way and, as the heat rose in visible waves off the black tar of the road, she’d never been more pleased to have an indoor job. The worker holding the stop sign looked hot and sweaty, his skin an unhealthy weathered brown.