by Alexis Hall
Then Drew heard himself say, “I’ll try to position him better as well. I’m a bit rusty.”
Where had that come from?
He braced himself to be called a noob or told to stop making excuses.
“Cool,” said Morag. “Right. We’re going again. Ranged stay closer, and everybody stay alert. We’re taking too much avoidable damage.”
The raid finished their fish and their buffing and got into position.
A readycheck popped up.
Drew was still a bit dazed, but he clicked Okay.
“Three, two, one, pull.”
And Ella once again hefted her maces and threw herself into battle against the vile torturer Vilicus.
[Yell][Vilicus]: Immortality is found through pain. Come, friends, and I will make you immortal.
Things seemed to go more smoothly this time. People’s health bars were a lot, well, healthier, and everybody made it to phase three alive.
“To the rack!” cried Bjorn gleefully as Heurodis broke free of the raid to go and interact with a random piece of dungeon furniture. “Now, I will show you the meaning of imba!”
Jargogle sprinted back from the other side of the room, little daggers whirring through the air like one of those kitchen appliances you get advertised on late-night TV.
“Less boast, more DPS.”
Drew kept an anxious eye on Vilicus’s hit points, which seemed to be going more slowly than they had last time.
Ghosts gathered at the edges of the room and started drifting inexorably inwards.
“Uhh,” he said awkwardly. “I think we’re going to need to push a bit harder.”
Vilicus’s health crept down but still too slowly, and gradually people started getting chewed on by ghosts.
[Raid][Solace]: Too much raid damage
With Vilicus on a comfortable ten percent, the whole thing turned into a gigantic clusterfuck. Ghosts were everywhere, people were exploding, and Vilicus was still oozing toxic blood all over the place.
Morag made a noise of frustration. “Aaand that’s a wipe again.”
Five minutes and another hefty repair bill later, the guild were sat back on the floor outside the torture chamber, eating fish and contemplating their failure.
Morag was the first to speak. “Okay, better in some ways, worse in others. Really good job on the first two phases, but we just didn’t have enough DPS on three.”
“Uhh, can I say something?” asked Drew. Raid leaders could be touchy about too many people weighing in on strats. But he did actually have more experience than these guys.
“Go for it.”
He took a deep breath, hoping this wouldn’t come out sounding too dickish. “So, I think the trick is to be really, like, super careful in the first two phases so everyone goes into three with full health and mana. There’s no point taking chances cos there’s no timer. But in three, it’s like a race against the ghosts, so you’ve kind of got to be a bit more . . . y’know.”
There was silence on Mumble.
It occurred to Drew that y’know wasn’t very specific.
“Like not reckless, but people are going to take damage and some people are gonna die, but if you’re doing it right it doesn’t matter.”
“So.” Bjorn. “You’re saying we need to kill ourselves more.”
“Well . . . yeah . . . I mean . . . no. But you’ve gotta be more willing to, like, take damage to do damage.”
“We have done this boss before.”
“Put your dick away, Bjorn.” Morag. “Drew’s part of the guild, he can suggest tacs just like anyone else. And I think that’s a pretty good idea actually. So, Caius and Ignatius, you get Glory too.”
“Just stay away from my rack.”
[Raid][Ialdir]: Trust me. Nobody’s interested in your rack.
[Raid][Caius]: I’ll take the spiky thing at the back
[Raid][Ignatius]: And I’ll take the bench thing with the blade above it
“Ready to go again?” asked Morag.
They were ready.
And in went Ella, charging valiantly forward as if doing this exact same thing hadn’t just got her killed. Twice.
[Yell][Vilicus]: Immortality is found through pain. Come, friends, and I will make you immortal.
The first two phases went slowly but near perfectly. Raid damage was as low as you could expect with curses firing all over the place, and nobody stood in blood or on knives.
“Steady.”
“Good job.”
“Phase three coming up.”
As phase three hit, Jargogle, Heurodis, Ignatius, and Caius ran to their assigned torture devices and buffed up. There was a lot more damage coming in now, and Drew paced out his cooldowns to take as much pressure off Morag as he could. But, on the plus side, Vilicus was also taking a lot more damage.
“You still need to stack, guys.”
“More heals on Bjorn.”
“Got him.”
“Jargogle’s boned.”
“Could you possibly rephrase that?”
“Out.”
“Losing Helen.”
[Yell][Vilicus]: DELICIOUS AGONY!
“Shit.”
“Sorry.”
“Focus on Bjorn.”
“Dave, get Glory.”
“Booyah!”
“Keep it up.”
[Yell][Vilicus]: DELICIOUS AGONY!
“Dave’s down.”
“Maaaan, I just got the buff.”
“Flesh, flesh!”
“Full burn.”
[Yell][Vilicus]: DELICIOUS AGONY!
[Raid][Ialdir]: I’m out
[Yell][Vilicus]: DELICIOUS AGONY!
[Raid][Solace]: Me too
[Raid][Solace]: 3%. You can do it guys
Between dodging ghosts, managing his cooldowns, and trying to output as much DPS as humanly possible, Drew was barely remembering to breathe.
He’d forgotten how completely mad this fight could be.
It was awesome.
Vilicus’s health was a tiny red sliver in the bottom of the bar.
And so was Ella’s.
Come on, come on, come on.
[Yell][Vilicus]: I HAVE . . . TRANSCENDED!
And with that, Vilicus sank to his knees and snuffed it, taking his ghosts and his poisonous blood trail with him.
Drew practically collapsed as well.
And Mumble went wild.
“Get in there!”
“Omigod!”
“Holy fuck, we did it!”
“I really didn’t think we were going to make that.”
“Check out my DPS!”
“Can I get a rez, please?”
“Well done, guys, that was awesome.”
Slowly, people began to calm down and wander round the torture chamber, bringing their friends back to life.
“And now,” announced Bjorn, “the loots.”
Drew had pretty much forgotten about loot this run. He had nearly everything he needed from CoT anyway, and the guild seemed to have quite a relaxed attitude to the whole thing, which took the pressure off gearing.
“So, let’s see what Uncle Bjorn has in his magic bag. We have a lovely ranger wep, with a beautiful thorns and blood motif. The Tormenter’s Bow.”
[Raid][Heurodis]: [The Tormenter’s Bow]
“Does anybody not already have The Tormenter’s Bow?”
[Raid][Dave]: Ill have it for my os
[Raid][Ialdir]: I’ll have it for my mantelpiece
[Raid][Heurodis]: disenchanting. if you need any purple mats apply to the bank
“And, finally, our last prize this evening, boasting an attractive hardwood handle and a blade which I feel I should point out is extremely historically implausible: The Inexorable Axe.”
[Raid][Heurodis]: [The Inexorable Axe]
Drew jerked suddenly alert.
Holy shit.
Holy, holy shit.
His axe.
Bjorn’s voice seemed to be coming from far away. �
��Roll MS if you need it.”
Drew scrabbled urgently at his keyboard.
Heurodis rolls a 52
Ialdir rolls a 34
Orcarella rolls a 2
Dave rolls a 98
Ignatius rolls a 41
Solace rolls a 57
Jargogle rolls a 84
Prospero rolls a 65
Morag rolls a 14
Caius rolls a 71
[Raid][Orcarella]: . . .
“Looks like it’s going to Dave. Well done, Dave. Round of applause for Dave.”
[Raid][Orcarella]: . . .
Mumble exploded again. Drew had never heard so many adults giggling at once.
Honestly, it was kind of a mixed feeling. On the one hand, nine relative strangers were laughing at something he was not only upset about, but still felt quite embarrassed at being upset about. On the other hand . . . it was also weirdly nice. You had to know something about someone to be able to take the piss out of them. And, in a funny way, you had to care.
He was glad he was safely on the other side of a screen, because he was probably grinning like a dork.
You have received [The Inexorable Axe]
[Raid][Orcarella]: thx guys
He opened his inventory and stared lovingly at his new weapon for a moment before equipping it.
Bjorn kind of had a point. The blade was completely implausible.
It looked like a scythe stuck on a cartwheel stuck on a stick. But it was best in slot for Vengeance.
Orcarella ran around in circles excitedly and a few guildies cheered as she passed.
[Raid][Solace]: Hey, you know what this means?
[Raid][Orcarella]: ?
[Raid][Solace]: You’re officially the best geared tank on the server
[Raid][Orcarella]: lol
[Raid][Jargogle]: Haha
[Raid][Dave]: lol
[Raid][Ialdir]: Grats dude
“Okay,” said Morag. “We’re calling it here. We’ll finish off on Wednesday, so sign up on the forums if you haven’t already. That was a really good run, guys.”
People said their goodnights and began leaving the raid group.
[Guild][Ialdir]: Awesome night
[Guild][Ialdir]: But I need to go to bed before my husband divorces me
[Guild][Solace]: Night night
[Guild][Sindarella]: nn
[Guild][Heurodis]: anyone for a hc?
Drew checked the clock on his minimap. It was just eleven, so there’d be time, but he wasn’t completely sure he wanted to.
[Guild][Dave]: mums turning the internet off
[Guild][Dave]: :(
[Guild][Dave]: :(
[Guild][Sindarella]: me and Helen can come
[Guild][Sindarella]: I can storm tank it lol
[Guild][Ignatius]: I’m not healing you in storm
[Guild][Heurodis]: lol
Drew realised he was alone in an empty torture chamber. He wondered if Solace would come with them if he went on the heroic, but maybe she’d gone fishing, and by the time he was done, she might have logged off.
He stared for a while at the guild roster, and the little line that read, Solace: Online.
Would it be weird to just ask her if she wanted to hang out?
What if it was weird? What if she said no?
To [Solace]: you fishing?
[Solace] whispers: Yes
[Solace] whispers: It helps me wind down after a raid
There was the text-based equivalent of an awkward silence.
[Solace] whispers: You can come join me if you like
[Solace] whispers: you don’t have to
[Solace] whispers: if you dont want to
To [Solace]: omw
[Solace] whispers: :)
Solace has invited you to join a group: y/n
Solace is now group leader.
Drew activated his bindstone, then hopped a skyship across continents and flew south to Alarion. He flapped over the ruins looking for Solace, and found her on the same bit of fallen temple. She was sitting on the edge in her battered fishing hat, her line arcing into the purple-blue water.
Ella took off her helmet and plopped down next to her.
[Group][Orcarella]: good run tonight
[Group][Solace]: Yeah, it was fun
[Group][Solace]: Nice work on Vilicus
[Group][Orcarella]: you too
[Group][Solace]: I died
[Group][Orcarella]: yeah but heroically
[Group][Solace]: Heroically hit by a ghost while trying to get off a Greater Heal
[Group][Orcarella]: well you died so others might live and stuff
[Group][Solace]: First rule of healing is healer heal thyself
[Group][Solace]: We pretend to be all nurturing but actually we’re just trying to keep lots of warm bodies between us and the enemy
[Group][Orcarella]: like emperor Palpatine
There was a long—for lack of a better term—silence, and Drew wondered if he’d blown it. Dead kobold, fine. Comparing her to Darth Sidious, not so much.
[Group][Solace]: Sorry, I’m trying to make a Star Wars joke but the Emperor has no decent lines.
[Group][Orcarella]: I find your lack of healz disturbing
[Group][Solace]: That’s Vader.
[Group][Orcarella]: wow you’ve put way more thought into this than I have
[Group][Solace]: *blush*
[Group][Orcarella]: no its cool
[Group][Orcarella]: you’re right, I can’t remember any of his lines
[Group][Orcarella]: except like you know
[Group][Orcarella]: DIEDIEDIE
[Group][Solace]: For a guy called Darth Sidious he’s kind of
[Group][Solace]: . . .
[Group][Solace]: not very insidious
[Group][Orcarella]: lol
[Group][Orcarella]: i hadn’t even noticed that
[Group][Orcarella]: you know what I find weird about star wars
[Group][Solace]: I’d love to hear what you find weird about Star Wars
[Group][Orcarella]: i have to go google this because it’s so weird
[Group][Orcarella]: brb
[Group][Solace]: kk
[Group][Orcarella]: okay so this epic saga of love and war and space and good and evil and stuff opens with:
[Group][Orcarella]: The taxation of trade routes to outlying star systems is in dispute.
[Group][Solace]: lololol
[Group][Solace]: Hey, I played a republic in Crusader Kings II. [Group][Solace]: Trade embargos are hardcore.
[Group][Orcarella]: You play CKII?
[Group][Solace]: I may have the body of a weak and feeble Dark Elf
[Group][Solace]: But I have the heart and stomach of a king, and a King of England
[Group][Orcarella]: don’t you mean a concrete elephant
[Group][Solace]: And he likes Blackadder too
[Group][Solace]: Be still my beating heart
Drew flustered at his keyboard, typed about five responses and deleted them all. Then panicked because it looked like he’d panicked.
[Group][Orcarella]: lol
[Group][Orcarella]: but seriously you’re into strategy games
[Group][Solace]: CKII isn’t really a strategy game
[Group][Solace]: It’s an RPG with a big map
[Group][Orcarella]: i never got into it
[Group][Orcarella]: too easy
[Group][Orcarella]: i took over Europe on my third playthrough
Shit. Now he sounded like he was boasting.
[Group][Orcarella]: sorry i just sounded like a dick
[Group][Orcarella]: i just like figuring out games
[Group][Solace]: No, I get that
[Group][Solace]: But sometimes it’s nice to experience stuff
[Group][Orcarella]: i’m not very good at that
[Group][Orcarella]: i like to know what my goals are
[Group][Orcarella]: so I know when I’m doing well
[Group][Orcarella]: I gues
s it’s why I like raiding
[Group][Solace]: You’re really good at it
[Group][Orcarella]: thx
[Group][Orcarella]: but it kind of stopped being fun
[Group][Orcarella]: i mean until I joined you guys
[Group][Solace]: The most fun I’ve had in CKII was when I’ve been losing
[Group][Solace]: There was this one time I got usurped by my evil uncle and banished to a tiny corner of Sicily
[Group][Solace]: Where I sat plotting my revenge for 18 years
[Group][Solace]: And another time my entire dynasty died out because my only heir was a pious homosexual who hung out in Jerusalem with a poet
[Group][Orcarella]: lol
[Group][Orcarella]: you should have had him assassinated
[Group][Solace]: O.O
[Group][Orcarella]: sorry that sounds really homophobic
[Group][Orcarella]: i just meant because it was game mechanically suboptimal
[Group][Solace]: *snerk*
[Group][Solace]: Some people are game mechanically suboptimal. Get over it.
[Group][Orcarella]: :(
[Group][Solace]: I might get that on a T-shirt.
[Group][Orcarella]: :)
There was another silence-equivalent. Drew really wanted to move the conversation on, but he wasn’t sure what to say.
He stared at Ella and Solace sitting on their rock. The moon was full and silver. And it suddenly occurred to him that he was using this game, for which he paid a monthly subscription, as a glorified chat client.
But he was having such a nice time he didn’t mind. It was a bit stressful because he was used to having something specific to talk about in most of his social interactions. With the guild, it was raiding. With Andy, it was Frisbee. With his parents, it was did he have socks and was he eating properly. With his coursemates, it was gaming and the course. There’d been this one time when Sanee and Steff had got into a big argument, and Sanee had sat in Drew’s room crying for hours, but that had been weird and a bit uncomfortable, and they’d never mentioned it afterwards.
But with Solace, it was just sort of . . . being with someone you like being with. And that felt . . . nice. And seemed kind of important somehow. Which made him wonder if it was important to her as well. And then he wondered if she was wondering the same thing. So maybe he should tell her, so she would know. But he wasn’t sure how to put it, in case it came out wrong, and sounded all intense and creepy.
[Group][Orcarella]: I like the way you play games
[Group][Orcarella]: you seem to get a lot out of them