Looking for Group

by Alexis Hall

  He hadn’t stopped thinking about Kit at all.

  Every now and again, he’d vaguely look at guys and try to figure out if he found them attractive. Except most of the dudes he met on a day-to-day basis weren’t interacting with him in that sort of way so there was no real context for the exercise. He thought about checking out the LGBT+ society, but wasn’t sure what he’d say. Hi, I’m probably not gay but I just wanted to see if I fancied any of you.

  So life just sort of went on. He put the final touches to his chair. It was a good chair. Sanee and Steff got a copy of Dead of Winter, and they passed several pleasant evenings starving, betraying each other, and getting eaten by zombies.

  On Monday, in the light of various changes to the core lineup—including Drew as MT—the guild decided not to press any farther into CoT that week, focusing instead on farming earlier content, gearing up, and, as Bjorn put it, “learning to work together so we do not repeatedly chain shit through the raid like a bunch of little noobs.”

  This wouldn’t have been Drew’s preference, but he still enjoyed the atmosphere and the more casual guild members really seemed to appreciate the opportunity to get their hands on a pile of loots that were, to them, still shiny and new. In any case, it was actually more effective than he expected, because the next time they took on CoT, the first bosses went down like Jell-O shots.

  Morag had recovered from her attempt to date a performance poet and was back RLing. Drew told himself he wasn’t disappointed. He’d been too angry and upset at the time to really deal with it, but he’d liked seeing that side of Kit. Being able to hear him talk.

  Drew had honestly assumed that Kit had been staying quiet in Mumble deliberately so he wouldn’t catch on. But, actually, it seemed like he was just kind of quiet. He kept his banter in chat and only spoke to direct the healing team in a fight. Now Drew thought back, he was pretty sure Kit had spoken in earlier raids. He just hadn’t been listening because he’d been too busy doing his own job. And secretly hoping to hear from a pretty elf girl.

  It made him feel a little bit better. A bit less of a fool and a bit less betrayed. And that freed his brain up to think about the other stuff. How nice it had been hanging out with Kit. All the sweet things he’d said. The ways he’d tried to be honest about what he’d done and why he’d done it.

  Drew was doing his postraid faff in the City of Stars, crafting up a stack of [Notorious Cataclysmic Emeralds] for the guild bank, when he saw Solace’s little wings flutter past on the way to the auction house.

  To [Solace]: not fishing tonight?

  There was a really long pause. Enough for ten emeralds to ping into existence in Ella’s inventory. It was awful. Maybe the casual approach was the wrong approach.

  To [Solace]: so I’ve been thinking

  [Solace] whispers: Sorry, I keep typing things and deleting them

  [Solace] whispers: I’m not ignoring you

  To [Solace]: look i’m not promising anything

  To [Solace]: but i’ve really missed hanging out with you

  To [Solace]: so do you want to maybe try that again

  To [Solace]: as friends

  [Solace] whispers: yes! :) :) :)

  [Solace] whispers: yay

  [Solace] whispers: are you sure?

  [Solace] whispers: Hmm, I guess I should have said that the other way round

  Actually, Drew wasn’t sure. He was kind of the opposite of sure. Mainly he was terrified.

  To [Solace]: yes

  To [Solace]: maybe we could medusa a bit?

  [Solace] whispers: I’d like that. When would work for you?

  To [Solace]: I’m free tomorrow after lab

  To [Solace]: so kind of eveningish

  [Solace] whispers: see you then

  [Solace] whispers: looking forward to it

  To [Solace]: me too

  And he was.

  Still terrified, but looking forward to it.

  Drew had made the terrible mistake of attempting to render water. And consequently had spent the entire day on the verge of beating himself to death with his own keyboard.

  “Dude.” Sanee leaned over from the next terminal. “I know what you need. You need to shoot a Mall Santa, eat a horse, and die of frostbite in an abandoned school.”

  Even if he hadn’t arranged to meet Kit, Drew was a little bit Dead of Winter’ed out. Every time Sanee and Steff got a new board game, it was basically all they wanted to do for a week, and Sanee’s commitment to doing the same thing over and over again was very slightly higher than Drew’s. Which left him two options. He could either mildly hurt his friend’s feelings by opting out due to tedium, or he could admit that he had a nondate with a boy he met in an MMO. It wasn’t really a choice.

  He sighed. “I’m kind of seeing Kit tonight.”

  “Seeing who?”

  “You know . . . Solace, the imaginary elf girl.”

  “You mean,” asked Sanee, a delighted gleam creeping into his eyes, “the imaginary elf girl who’s really a dude?”

  Drew grit his teeth. “Yes, that imaginary elf girl.”

  “Lol. All of the lols.” And then, in response to Drew’s look, “So what are you doing?”

  This was getting worse by the second. “We’re playing HoL. We’ve rolled some new characters, we’re playing the low levels together, and so far I’ve really enjoyed it. So please shut up.”

  “Come on mate, I’m only having a laugh.”

  “Yeah, at me.”

  “But it is a bit funny.”

  Drew couldn’t tell if he was in a bad mood because of watergate or if Sanee had genuinely crossed a threshold of dickishness. Of course, Sanee could be kind of a dick, especially when he got an idea into his head, but it felt different this time. Maybe because it seemed to be directly about Drew instead of about . . . things. Like people who played Call of Duty. It didn’t help that Drew wasn’t used to having these sorts of conversations. Especially not with Sanee.

  “I think,” he said slowly, trying to wrap his head round it, “that what’s bothering me is that I don’t think you’d be taking the piss half as much if you just knew I was gay.”

  Sanee’s eyes widened. “Of course I wouldn’t. I’m not a homophobe. The thing is, you’re, like . . . you.”

  “So, it’s not funny that some guys like other guys in general. It’s funny that I might like another guy in particular?”

  “Well—” Sanee thought about it for a moment “—yeah. Also the fact you met him in HoL makes it about a million times more hilarious. What are you going to tell your adopted grandkids?”

  “That when I was at university I met exactly one bloke who wasn’t a complete tosser.” Drew got up jerkily, and started stuffing his things into his bag. “And now I’m going to get ready for my clearly ridiculous online not-a-date thing that I was actually really looking forward to.”

  Sanee pushed off against the table and sent his wheelie chair careening backwards into Drew’s path. “Dude, I’m sorry, okay? If you’re— No matter what you are, I’m in your corner. I might be laughing, but I’m definitely in it.”

  Not counting the Steff Fight Crying Incident They Did Not Talk About, this was the closest to a heartfelt conversation he and Sanee’d ever had. So while Drew was still a bit ticked off, he couldn’t quite bring himself to storm out. But at the same time, this wasn’t the sort of thing he talked about with Sanee, so it was probably best for both of them if he got it over with quickly.

  “Thanks, mate, it’s just I’m still a bit mixed up about this. So if you could, y‘know, lay off on the gay jokes and the internet-dating jokes, that would really help me out.”

  Sanee held out his fist for bumping purposes. “You got it.”

  Drew was heading out the door, all jumbled up with this swirly mess of relief and excruciating embarrassment, when Sanee called after him.

  “Genuinely not making a joke but I am a bit worried. You haven’t even seen this guy in real life yet. It’d be different if you met
him on Tinder or Gay Tinder or whatever.”

  Drew turned reluctantly. “Why?”

  “Rule number one: games aren’t real life.”

  He didn’t have an answer for that, so he shrugged and left.

  The whole awkward interaction with Sanee had bummed him out and made him later than he’d hoped to be, so he was in a bit of a panic as he got himself settled and logged into HoL.

  He’d left Efthalia parked in the city of Minea, which was supposed to be this ruined shadow of its former glory, but was actually far cooler and more impressive than the generically medieval human capital of Whitepeak. It had this Clash of the Titans vibe: all gold and marble and hanging gardens. And an honest-to-God snake-headed colossus standing astride the entrance.

  [Aconite] whispers: I was beginning to think you weren’t coming

  To [Aconite]: omg no

  To [Aconite]: just got held up

  Aconite has invited you to join a group: y/n

  Aconite is now group leader.

  [Group][Aconite]: You okay?

  [Group][Efthalia]: honestly not so much

  [Group][Aconite]: :(

  [Group][Aconite]: It’s okay if you don’t want to do this. I get it.

  [Group][Efthalia]: it’s not that

  [Group][Efthalia]: just had this really stupid argument with Sanee

  [Group][Efthalia]: one of my mates

  [Group][Aconite]: What about?

  [Group][Efthalia]: this actually

  [Group][Efthalia]: he kept taking the piss

  [Group][Aconite]: :(

  [Group][Efthalia]: i guess maybe he could deal with the online thing or the boy thing but not both

  [Group][Aconite]: I don’t think either of those should be things

  [Group][Efthalia]: they are though

  [Group][Aconite]: To you or to him?

  [Group][Efthalia]: right now i can’t figure out what’s a thing and what isn’t

  [Group][Efthalia]: i just know I missed you

  [Group][Efthalia]: it might not be the same now I know

  [Group][Efthalia]: but i’d still like to find out

  [Group][Aconite]: So, more ophidian adventures, then?

  [Group][Efthalia]: depends what ophidian is

  [Group][Aconite]: Of or pertaining to snakes

  [Group][Efthalia]: oh

  [Group][Aconite]: It wasn’t an invitation to the homosexual underworld

  [Group][Efthalia]: i’m only level 10

  [Group][Efthalia]: i only get [Portal: Homosexual Underworld] at 25

  [Group][Aconite]: Hee

  [Group][Aconite]: It didn’t unlock until 50 in vanilla

  [Group][Efthalia]: was there a long attunement

  [Group][Aconite]: That would be quite the pick-up line

  [Group][Efthalia]: don’t tell Bjorn

  [Group][Efthalia]: he’s probably always telling people to check out his long attunement

  [Group][Aconite]: :D

  [Group][Aconite]: I really did miss you, Drew

  Drew glowed, his argument with Sanee already almost forgotten. He’d expected hanging out with Kit to feel different now, but truthfully, it didn’t at all. If anything, it was even easier to fall back into their . . . their thing. Whatever that was. He felt like there’d been something holding him back but he hadn’t known it was there, but it was, and now it wasn’t. Or something.

  [Group][Efthalia]: so what’s the plan?

  [Group][Efthalia]: i’ve only got this crappy quest to unlock the flight path to krytos

  [Group][Aconite]: Do you want to try Bubbling Marsh?

  [Group][Efthalia]: seriously

  [Group][Efthalia]: this our reunion medusa date not date thing thing

  [Group][Efthalia]: and you want to pug

  [Group][Aconite]: Hey, we first met in a pug

  [Group][Aconite]: I was thinking of inviting Burnzurfais

  [Group][Efthalia]: lol

  [Group][Aconite]: Seriously though, I reckon we could 2-man it

  [Group][Efthalia]: at lvl 10?

  [Group][Aconite]: Well, it was balanced for 12 at release and Bjorn swears it’s been nerfed since

  [Group][Efthalia]: lololol

  [Group][Efthalia]: i’m just imagining them at Tempest HQ being like nerf BM it’s messing up endgame

  [Group][Aconite]: Hee hee

  [Group][Aconite]: But look. You also get access to a lot more stuff at level 10 now. I think it’s probably doable

  [Group][Efthalia]: i guess it’ll be a challenge

  [Group][Aconite]: See, I knew that would get you excited

  [Group][Efthalia]: you know me too well

  [Group][Aconite]: :)

  Normally, they would have hopped in the Group Finder, which would have transported them straight to the instance, but then they’d have had to run with randoms. Instead they trekked up there on foot, which neither of them had ever done. They bickered for a little while over the best route and eventually agreed to do the quest that unlocked the flight paths and then take a Pegasus to the City of Ash since Kit, out of loyalty to his dark elf main, was still refusing to have anything to do with “high elf scum.”

  Unfortunately, when they finished the quest, they realised they couldn’t fly to the mainland unless they’d already been to the other cities to open the Pegasus towers there. Which they couldn’t do until they got to the mainland.

  [Group][Efthalia]: wtf

  [Group][Aconite]: I think I’ve spotted a flaw in our plan

  [Group][Efthalia]: wtf

  [Group][Efthalia]: are we trapped

  [Group][Efthalia]: this is terrible game design

  [Group][Aconite]: I think normally we’d be following a quest chain which would take us to the mainland

  [Group][Efthalia]: yeah but if you’re creating an open world game you shouldn’t expect people to follow linear paths

  [Group][Efthalia]: there’s no reason to restrict players interaction with the environment like that

  [Group][Efthalia]: what if someone playing medusa wants to run around with someone playing an elf

  [Group][Efthalia]: >.<

  [Group][Aconite]: You’re cute when you’re ranting

  [Group][Aconite]: I’m sure there’s a way. We just haven’t found it yet

  [Group][Efthalia]: you’re cute when you’re being unhelpfully zen

  [Group][Aconite]: I bet Ialdir will know

  [Group][Efthalia]: your going to ask the high elf scum for directions?

  [Group][Aconite]: He’s my best friend high elf scum

  [Group][Aconite]: I’m going to text him

  [Group][Efthalia]: I’ll look it up on HoLhead

  [Group][Aconite]: Race you :)

  Drew was competitive enough that he didn’t even type “you’re on” before alt-tabbing. He soon realised that while the site was an indispensable resource for loot tables, gear lists, and build planners, it was surprisingly low on pages tagged “How to get out of the damn starting areas.” There was a page for basically every quest in HoL, so if there was a chain that took you from Krytos to the Bone Wastes he’d be able to find it, but then it was a game of “Guess what the low-level quest is called that takes you to the place you want to go.” Turned out, this was one of the few games that Drew was legitimately terrible at.

  He was about to resort to googling “how to get out of Minea without a flight path” when he realised enough time had passed that he’d probably lost.

  [Group][Aconite]: Jacob says there’s two boats manned by rival elvish captains in the NW of the city

  [Group][Aconite]: There’s also a dude in the Temple of Serpentis who’ll give us a quest to speak to one of them

  [Group][Aconite]: Drew?

  [Group][Aconite]: Are you still there?

  [Group][Aconite]: Are you still checking HoLhead?

  [Group][Efthalia]: okay you won

  [Group][Aconite]: Ooh, what do I get?

  [Group][Efthalia]: A luxury elvish cruise, a romantic walk through a swam
p and this [Musty Shepherd’s Sandal]

  [Group][Aconite]: Wow. Thank you.

  [Group][Aconite]: I’m a bit worried about this [Musty Shepherd’s Sandal] though.

  [Group][Aconite]: Do you think it belonged to a Musty Shepherd. Or do you think it is itself musty?

  [Group][Efthalia]: Could be both

  [Group][Aconite]: Wouldn’t that be a Musty Shepherd’s [Musty Sandal]?

  [Group][Efthalia]: Or a Musty Shepherd’s [Musty Shepherd’s Sandal]

  [Group][Efthalia]: Now come on, dude, we’ll miss the boat

  They nipped over to the Temple of Serpentis and picked up a quest from a priestess who informed them that the once mighty empire of the medusas was being courted by both sides in the on-going conflict between the high and dark elves, and that they were to go immediately to support the side of their choosing.

  At the docks, they found two contrastingly dressed elves with question marks above their heads. The high elf dude looked a bit like Ialdir, with long golden braids and a haughty expression. His boat was a silver swan rising delicately out of the water. The dark elvish envoy was a cleavagey pirate chick, her ship covered with an implausible number of spikes.

  Needless to say, they went with her.

  As soon as Drew had clicked through the dialogue, a loading screen popped up showing two angry-looking elves glaring at one another, and a dodgy medusa being mysterious and shadowy in the middle.

  You have discovered Tormenter’s Bay.

  [Group][Aconite]: Wow, I haven’t been back here since Sol was level 14.

  [Group][Efthalia]: i’ve never been here

  [Group][Efthalia]: now I think about it i’ve basically not been on this whole continent except the capitals

  [Group][Aconite]: Are you elvist or something?