by Kimbra Swain
“I’m dead,” I tried to say. The sad look in Killian’s face and the terror in Kyrie’s were the last things I remembered. My mind raced over the impact of my death. I prayed to the god of Life who lived in the tree with my great grandfather that Mark wouldn’t kill Kyrie. I knew Mark’s temper when it came to me. He would blame Kyrie for my heroics. At least I’d died helping a friend.
But Kyrie was more than a friend. Even though I refused to admit it, I had deep feelings for him. He supported me and believed in me without hesitation. I needed to reciprocate that. Only, I didn’t know if I’d ever get that chance.
“Open your eyes, Wynonna Riggs,” a deep voice called to me.
I opened my eyes, not realizing they were shut, and saw the flickering flame of a candle just a few feet from me.
“Who is there?” I asked, hearing my voice for the first time since entering this dark place.
“I am the First,” he said. “Come to the light.”
I crawled on my knees, not trusting my feet and legs to function until I was about a foot from the candle. As I moved closer, it illuminated a figure seated on the other side. The man had olive colored skin and deep green eyes. He wore a white toga with a golden belt. A crown of golden wings sat on his head.
“The First?” I questioned.
“Please, Wynonna, sit with me,” he said, waving his hand to the other side of the candle. When I turned to sit, his form appeared fully. The flickering candle had masked his true form. Fire licked around his hands and arms, up to his neck. It surrounded the crown and touched his garments, but they did not ignite.
“You are amazing,” I said in awe.
“I would say the same of you. The first female phoenix. A purple phoenix. We weren’t sure what would happen should you die. Your Winter fairy abilities are very strong, but like Serafino Taranis, you manage both powers effectively,” he said.
“I don’t feel like I manage it. My Winter blocks my Fire, and my Winter fizzes when I try to use it,” I said.
“You block your Fire. The Winter will take longer,” he corrected.
“I’m not trying to do it,” I said, trying not to whine and sound stupid before the guy who probably knew everything there was to know about being a phoenix.
He pointed a long, fiery finger at me. He touched my shoulder where I’d gotten shot. “You do not believe in yourself.” I flinched back from his touch, expecting it to hurt, but it didn’t.
“No, I don’t.”
“Finding yourself is your mission. I admire you for walking away from the safety of your mother’s haven,” he said. “It took the courage of a phoenix to leave. It will take the courage of a phoenix to find your place.”
“Will I rise?” I asked. “Do I have to do anything?”
“You will rise after we’ve spoken.”
“My mother is bound to be having a fit right about now,” I said.
He smiled. “She knows you will return. She is afraid and hates to see your ashes, but she knows. She’s seen your father rise. She is wise yet pretends to not be. I find her to be perplexing.”
“So do I!” I said.
“So did your father, but he loved her,” he said.
“Yes, he did.” I thought back to when I was a child and I saw Dylan Riggs, the sheriff of Shady Grove kissing the woman across the street at the trailer park. I couldn’t sleep that night, and I was sitting in my room watching the stars. I thought they were having a fight, but he kissed her. As a child, I didn’t know any better, but it made me mad. I loved the sheriff and his red Camaro. He was always so nice to me, and his eyes would light up when he smiled. It made me happy to see him walk away from her even though I enjoyed staying at her house when my mother had visitors.
She went inside the trailer, as he walked back toward town. I watched him pause, looking back at Grace’s home. The lights flicked on in her bedroom. He stood in the street with his hands on his hips. I heard him cursing. Back then, all I knew was it was adult words that I wasn’t supposed to say. Finally, he kicked a rock into the woods and ran back to her front door. She let him inside.
I knew now that it was the first time my adoptive parents were together. Like together-together. It took a long time for them to stay together, but their love was real. Something that doesn’t happen often. Even though it had happened twice for my mother.
“Things take time, Wynonna. If anything, a phoenix is allowed to be patient. You may find yourself tomorrow, then find yourself again the next day,” the First said.
I let his words sink into me. Each day I could be reborn. My father chased his tail feathers for hundreds of years. I was determined not to do that, but perhaps I was pushing it a little too hard.
“What is your name?” I asked.
“When I roamed the earth, I was known as Uriel,” he said.
“The archangel?”
“Myths and legends get twisted and changed over the years. Some of it is true. Some of it is borrowed.”
“And some of it is blue?” I asked with a chuckle.
“Oh, I see,” he said, getting the terrible joke. “It can be very blue and depressing. You cannot let that sink into your core. If a phoenix gets depressed despite being a fire that can ignite passion, despite being a light for the world, and despite being a hope that life springs anew, it can grow cold then the legacy of all of us will be lost.”
“And you are like a great grandfather?”
“Actually, I am your great grandfather. My son was Dylan’s father,” he said. I wanted to lean forward and hug him. He must have noticed. His hand shot up between us. He hovered over the candle. “This flame is a barrier. You cannot cross it until your days are done. Then, you may join us on the other side.”
“Us? My father is not with you. Aydan talked to him in the Netherworld, and he crossed the bridge,” I said.
“Where are you, Wynonna?”
“It feels like nothing. Nothingness.”
“This place is across the bridge.”
“Dad!” I called out.
“Wynonna. You cannot see him now. He can see you, and I know he is very proud of you, but until you prove to me that you will not cross this line.” He held up his hand again. “Your father will remain hidden.”
“No! Aydan got to see him!” I protested.
“And you will, too. I’d like to think this would be your only visit in-between death and life, but I know it isn’t. The curse of a phoenix is to die. Many times.” His eyes darkened, and I slumped over in tears. I wanted my chance with Dylan. I was happy for Aydan to be able to see his father, but I’d lost so many people. I just wanted my dad. “Do not cry. You will make this old man remember his own tears. Dylan gave you this cursed gift because he knew you were strong enough to bear it. Take on your role. Embrace your power. Use it for something right and good.”
“I’m trying.”
“Yes, you are. You need to go back now,” he said.
“I’ve been gone too long.”
“No. This place is worse on time keeping than the Otherworld. We are in the Great Beyond. There is no time here. Now, go home and rise,” he said.
“I don’t know how.”
“You will figure it out.”
“But…” And just like that, the candle went out, and he was gone. My heart ached to know that my father could see me, but I couldn’t see him. I wanted to make him proud. I wanted to do justice to the gift that I had received.
Now to rise.
A warmth stirred in my belly, and I felt my fiery power in a way that I had never felt before. Instead of fighting it or trying to control it, I let it flow through me. The heat built, but I felt nothing more than comfort. I also felt freedom. Closing my eyes, I allowed the sensation to build. It flowed through me like a well-spring of hope and determination. I’d said before that I was the Phoenix, but now I felt it in every bone in my body.
When I opened my eyes, I saw Kyrie on the ground, holding Killian to his chest. My mother stood in the alley clutchin
g Uncle Levi. Nick stood behind them with his head lowered. There were tears, but there was also faith. A faith that I would rise.
My spirit floated above the ashes of my body. I reached down with my strength, coaxing the ashes from the ground. Killian and Kyrie bolted up and away from the ashes when they swirled, flickering with a purple and orange light.
I called the storm to me. The ashes enveloped my spirit, and my body reformed from the dust. I spread my arms out, and they formed black feathered wings which burned with a purple light. Fire licked along the outstretched wings with colors of yellow, orange, red, and violet.
A rumble began in my belly, forcing its way upward through my throat. It escaped my lips in a triumphant call like a blast from a horn. The screech of the phoenix caused my family and friends to cover their ears as they looked up to me in wonder.
I flapped my wings above them, but my soul did not want to land and reform. I wanted to soar. Releasing the call again, I shot into the sky above the clouds. Soaring over Steelshore, I looked down to the lights of the city. The moon flickered on the bay as ships sailed out to sea. I darted down toward the water and flew a few feet above the darkness. I didn’t care who saw me. It would be explained as a meteor or some military experiment.
Banking around, I flew over the swamp of the Dog River, then returned to the city. My soul needed my family now that it had its freedom. And I knew they needed me.
Another call echoed through the sky as a white raptor raced toward me followed by a snowy barn owl, flying faster than it should. The raptor’s feathers crackled with blue lightning. It flew past barely missing me. The barn owl dove down to the alley where I had died.
Banking around, I chased the Thunderbird back out across the bay. He cackled as I gained on him.
“Hello, Wildfire,” Aydan said in my head.
“Hello, Aydan.”
“Don’t scare the shit out of us ever again,” he said.
“It is my curse,” I replied.
“It’s not a curse. You are our light.” He turned sharply back toward the city, and I flew beside him. I hoped that Dad could see us.
“Let’s go back,” I said.
“Lead the way.”
I dove down through the tallest buildings downtown to the entertainment district where I zeroed in on the alley. Opening my sight, I could see the blurred auras of my family. Their eyes were lifted to the sky, waiting for my return. I slowed my descent and landed as a naked woman before them. My mother snapped her finger and clothes appeared on my body.
I ran to her, wrapping my arms around her. My warmth and her cold joined together. She felt so good to touch after my fiery flight.
“I’m sorry, Mom.”
Levi embraced me from the side, hugging us both. He kissed the top of my hair.
“I never doubted that you would return to me,” she said into my ear.
“Hello, Son,” Mom said to Aydan behind me.
“I found her,” he said.
“That you did.” She hugged me tighter.
“Don’t kill Nick!” I blurted out, pulling away from her embrace.
She giggled. “Well, the thought did cross my mind, but I’ll just wait until next time.”
“Thanks,” Nick grunted. I turned and hugged him too. “You scared the shit out of me.” Echo and Malphas stood behind him. They patted me on the shoulder.
“Does anyone have a pooper scooper?” I shouted as Killian embraced me. He was taller than the last time I saw him. Stronger, too. “I should have known you would get here first.”
“I thought I could stop it,” he said.
“It needed to happen. I had to know. Not that I did it on purpose or anything,” I said.
“I love you, Winnie,” he said.
Aydan stood with a beautiful young woman. Isabella Valerian was the daughter of my mother’s Seneschal in Winter. He was quite taken with her from the first time he saw her. I assumed she was the white owl I’d seen earlier.
My senses drifted to Nick who was on the phone. I knew exactly who it was, but my sight fixed on Kyrie. His tear-stained cheeks alarmed me. He didn’t think I would rise. I remembered what I had thought while speaking to Uriel. I took four quick steps, grabbed his cheeks, and locked lips with him. He sat stunned for a moment then responded, not just with his lips, but his hands too.
“Fuck,” he muttered between kisses. The conversation in the alley stopped, and I froze. “You have never kissed me like that.” His voice was barely a whisper.
“Yeah, and I’m stupid for holding back,” I said.
“Winnie.” Nick’s voice broke our intimate moment. He’d done it on purpose. Handing me his phone, I took the opportunity to scowl at him.
“Hello,” I said.
“You died.”
“Yes, Mark.”
“I felt it.”
“What?”
“We are connected. Or rather, I’m connected to you whether you are to me or not.”
I walked away from Kyrie. “Mark, please.”
“I know. You don’t want to hear it, but I wanted you to know that I felt it. I also know that I need to move on from whatever I thought we had.” My heart jumped up into my throat as he spoke. “I’m only torturing us both with this, and I’m sorry. Mom thinks that because I’m Faeborn that I could attach to another. You are free, Winnie. I’m going to be fine. I will always love you.”
A tear rolled down my cheek, and I turned to look at Kyrie. He looked like his dog had died. I walked back over to him and laid my head on his chest.
“I love you too, Mark. I hope you find what you are looking for.”
“You, too.” He clicked off the call.
I handed the phone back to Nick. “We need to talk,” I said to him. He nodded, then walked away. “Where are Raya and Rory?”
“Shit,” Nick said, running to the end of the alley. “They went to get the car but didn’t come back!”
We ran down the street to find the doors of the SUV open, but both the Prince of Summer and my best friend were gone.
“I don’t understand,” Killian said.
“Mom, you need to take him home. It’s not safe here,” I said.
She smiled at me, joined hands with Killian, and leaned on Levi. “Home,” Levi said. They stepped through a small portal which closed quickly behind him.
“We will fly,” Aydan said. He and Isabella jumped into the sky, transforming into their bird forms. Malphas and Echo joined them.
“Smell them?” I asked Nick. He shifted to wolf and circled the car.
Switching to my sight, I saw the magical markings that could only be one group. The Sanhedrin.
I paced the office as Nick made calls to his contacts who were going to help him canvas the area.
“I swear by all that is good in this world, I will rip Reyna’s throat out if she hurts Soraya,” I huffed. Kyrie watched me closely, but he didn’t dare to speak.
“Yes. Thank you, Lyra. I will see you soon,” Nick said, then hung up the phone. So, I would get to meet the infamous Lyra. “I can call Mark to send help, too.”
“I think it’s best you leave him out of this. Is it possible to do what he said on the phone?” I asked as if Nick knew what his alpha had told me.
“Possibly. I don’t know that anyone has ever done it, but most don’t choose their mate as young as he did. I always thought it was strange that he latched on to you that way,” Nick said.
“What age do wolves normally choose mates?” Kyrie asked.
“Mid to upper teens. Rarely earlier, and more often than not, later,” Nick explained.
“And why don’t you have a mate?” I asked.
“It’s not my time. Back to the matter at hand. Malphas and Echo are flying over the area looking for traces. Isabella and Aydan are as well. I want you to go with me. I’m hoping we don’t run into a group of Sanhedrin,” he said.
“I’m sure we will, but why?”
“Before Ren left for Shady Grove, she told me that s
he had overheard some of the men that had captured her talking. She said that the Sanhedrin had found a new way to combine their magic and casting it as a group. The more of them we encounter at once, the more powerful we need to expect them to be.”
Kyrie and I sat in silence. The Sanhedrin had proved to be a formidable enemy, but this would kick the game up a notch or two. I wasn’t sure we had the firepower to combat them. I really didn’t want to call my mother back to Steelshore, but I’d do whatever it took to get Raya back. Kyrie folded his fingers into mine and squeezed. He was with me, and I needed someone in my corner.
My parents were in my corner. My brothers were too, but they had lots of responsibilities. Which brought me to Mark. He had his pack and his family. I never had a doubt that he loved me unconditionally. He never made me feel secondary to any of it, but I knew my ambitions would always be held back by his responsibilities.
However, Kyrie had devoted his time to me. I wondered what his ambitions were besides following me to the ends of the earth.
“We will find her,” he said.
“I know. We have things that we need to talk about,” I said.
“We will. Soon,” he said, touching my cheek.
“I hate sitting here and waiting.”
We didn’t wait long, because no sooner than I had said it, Lyra walked into the office with another woman. Lyra had chestnut brown hair with blonde highlights. Her nails were painted royal blue to match her deep blue eyes. The woman with her was just as striking with bleached blonde hair, dark brown eyes, and thin lips. They both embodied that wolfish persona.
“Lyra, thank you for coming,” Nick said. She nodded at him. “Lyra. Aspen. This is Wynonna Riggs and Kyrie Babineau.”
“Nice to meet you,” Lyra said, offering her hand. I shook it, feeling the strength in it. Her aura glowed a lavender, but almost grey color while Aspen’s aura was turquoise blue.
“Same,” I replied.
“Your mother is the fairy queen,” she stated.
“Yes, I am Gloriana’s adopted daughter,” I replied, making the distinction.