Clara tried to look content. “How’ve you been?”
“Good. I have senioritis and a month left of school, but it’s alright.”
Clara laughed at the screen, thinking about her sister itching to finish her last year of school. It was a feeling Clara never experienced. Harper was a different story. “You’ve had senioritis since you started high school.”
“True,” her sister said with a laugh. In the background, their father came into view. Harper shifted towards the edge of the screen. “Here, Poppa. Come sit.”
Gorge smiled warmly, squinting at the camera. His forehead filled the screen as he leaned down to speak. “Hello, Clarabelle,” he shouted.
“No,” Harper said. She reached for his shoulder, easing him back. “You don’t need to yell into the microphone. Just talk normal.”
Clara laughed on the other end. It was their second time attempting a video call and her father was still learning the basics.
“So when are you coming home?” he asked.
Clara shook her head. He’d asked the same question the last four times they’d spoke. “I already told you. Next Friday. I have my finals all next week and then you guys can drive up in the morning.”
“Oh, that’s right.” He nodded his head as if he were trying to store the information somewhere he would not forget again.
Clara glanced at her sister. They shared the same concerned expression. According to Harper, Gorge was becoming more and more forgetful. It was unusual for someone whose memory was always sharp and alarming for a family who had a history of Alzheimer’s. Gorge had recently celebrated his sixtieth, but early onset was still a scary possibility. The running joke was that Harper was the forgetful one of the family, but that had ceased the moment Gorge’s forgetfulness began to increase.
Changing the topic, Clara asked, “So where’s Lydia today?”
Harper rolled her eyes. “Shopping.”
Nothing else needed to be said. Lydia would rather spend the day with her friends than fifteen minutes talking with her sister. It was probably for the best. Lydia was a lot perkier ever since Clara and Adam split. And it was no secret that Lydia was jealous of Clara’s relationship. She even went as far as letting Clara know that a good girl like her would never be able to keep the attention of someone of his status. The last thing Clara wanted to hear was an “I told you so.”
Noticing Clara’s gloomy demeanor, the conversation turned into the one direction she didn’t want it to go.
“Have you talked to him at all?” Harper softly asked.
Clara forced a smile and pretended as if she didn’t hear her sister. “Well, I have to study for finals, but I will talk to you this week.”
Her father and sister shared a look of disappointment, but they filled their goodbyes with love as they promised to see her Friday. Closing the computer, Clara released a heavy breath and held the tears at bay. She hated that Adam still had that effect on her. Needing a distraction, she grabbed her bag and headed for the library to work on a final paper for her writing class.
Over an hour had passed and Clara was still hard at work searching for the right titles to resource. If she was honest, her lack of success was due to her wandering thoughts. She told herself not to think about him, but her stubborn mind was playing their most intimate moments on repeat.
She could feel his fingers entwined with hers every time another couple held hands. Every witnessed kiss between lovers made her brush her own mouth. Watching others experience happiness usually left her inspired, but now it caused her pain. When did she become such a cynic?
She missed the way Adam used to look at her like she was the only one that mattered. Under his gaze, Clara felt strong. Empowered. Treasured, even.
Her traitorous mind flashed to their last time together. Their plan to do homework had been short lived when she’d felt his stare. She’d known they shouldn’t be trying anything in the small library of Adam’s home. Not when the possibility of being caught was too great, but Adam had teased and taunted her, muffling her moans in a feverish kiss.
That night something shifted between them. Each thrust and kiss felt like Adam was trying desperately to hang on to something. The result was mind-blowing, but as Clara thought back to that night she wondered about what it had cost.
Here they were, torn apart, because of his actions. She hated him for it. Hated him with every fiber of her being, and yet her irrational side was begging her to forgive him. She couldn’t. Even after Rose told her Adam admitted to only kissing Olivia, she couldn’t shake the feeling of betrayal. Forgiving him would be like walking right into the lion’s den. It would be stupid and dangerous, and she was too headstrong to be either.
Stop thinking about him, she snapped at her thoughts and added a book to her pile of possible choices. She was reaching for another when someone interrupted her.
“Excuse me,” he said, “but could you tell me where I could find this book?” He was holding out a piece of paper. Clara took it out of habit.
“Sure.” It didn’t take long for her to realize he was completely in the wrong section. “Actually, this is on the second floor.”
“Oh.”
Clara let the paper hang between them, but he only smiled back at her. Instead of questioning him, Clara found herself noticing his appearance. He was taller than her but would probably be a head shorter than Adam. His green eyes were just as welcoming as his smile. With short brown hair and a thin build, he could even be considered cute.
“It’s just up those stairs,” she said, pointing him in the right direction when he did not respond.
For a moment, his eyebrows creased before he said, “I’m sorry. I thought you worked here.”
Clara’s eyes widened in understanding. “Oh! Yeah. Sorry. I do, but not today. I’m studying for exams.”
The guy nodded, his green eyes fixed on her. “Me too.”
Clara’s head bobbed, mirroring his movements. “I’ll, ah, let you get back to it then.”
He turned to leave, but something held him there. He smiled at the floor before finding the courage to say, “Actually, I was just using it as an excuse to come talk to you.”
Clara took a step back as color flooded her cheeks. “Why?” she asked.
His smile widened. “Oh come on, gorgeous girl like you? A guy needs a reason.”
Clara blushed at his words. “And yours was asking where a book was?”
Ignoring her question, he extended his hand and said, “I’m Ryan.”
Shifting her books to one arm, she smiled once more. His shake was firm, but the palm of his hand was soft and smooth, unlike the familiar, rough ones that knew how to tease her in every way. “I’m Clara.”
“I know,” he said, sheepishly. “We had a writing class together last semester.”
Clara cocked her head to the side, trying to remember his face. “I’m sorry. I don’t remember you.”
That’s because you never took your eyes off Adam to notice anyone else.
Ryan shrugged as they strolled away from the aisle and towards the spot Clara had picked out for herself. “It’s okay. New school, all new faces.”
“How’d you know I’m new?”
Ryan smiled wide. “It’s not that big of a school. If you really pay attention, you get to know a lot of people pretty quick. You either transferred here, or you’re a freshman. But you’re a bit of a minor celebrity, so it was easy to remember you.”
Clara averted her gaze. Minor celebrity? Did he mean her relationship with Adam? Was that really what everyone thought of her? The girl who caught Adam Beaumont’s attention for a brief moment?
Just as she was about to snap about being unfairly judged, Ryan said, “I have to admit, I’m a little jealous. It’s pretty impressive to receive the Fullmont Scholarship. Few have tried and even fewer have succeeded.”
“Oh,” Clara said, a bit too relieved. Relaxing slightly, she looked him over again. There was a familiarity th
ere she couldn’t place until the corner of his mouth rose in a lazy smile. “You were at the Dean’s Holiday Dinner.”
His grin stretched further. “I was.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t …” Clara’s voice trailed as she realized her memories were leading her right back down the path she didn’t want them to go. Of course, she didn’t recognize Ryan. She’d barely noticed anyone that night aside from a certain spoiled heir whom she was no longer thinking about.
“It’s fine. I don’t think I really talked to anyone aside from a few contributors. Although, they were all very impressed with you.”
Her cheeks flushed at the teasing tone in his warm voice. Clara set her books on the table, trying not to sound embarrassed as she asked, “Me?”
Ryan sat down across from her. “Of course. Beauty, brains, and a sweetheart? You’re a triple threat.”
“Uh, thanks.” Clara’s soft smile didn’t reach her eyes. The endearment pricked at her throat like tiny needles. Adam called her sweetheart.
But Ryan didn’t know that, and Clara was determined not to let Adam get to her. She needed to hold her chin up high and look to her future like she’d promised herself the day she had arrived at her dorm. Clara caught Ryan’s kind, green stare again. He was sweet, in the boy next door sort of way.
“So, tell me,” he asked, “what’s a girl like you doing here on a Saturday night? Wouldn’t you rather be out partying?”
“A girl like me?” she asked with a suspicious eyebrow raised.
Ryan’s face fell in panic. “I didn’t mean—”
Clara’s smile broke into laughter. “It’s fine. I’m messing with you.”
Ryan’s cheeks turned red, but his body relaxed as they fell into a steady, quiet conversation. He was easy to talk to and in another life, he might have been a perfect match for her. He was a sophomore, smart, and knew what he wanted in life.
“Marketing,” he said when she asked what field he was going into. “How about you?”
“I’m still figuring it out.” she lied. Over the last few months, Clara realized how much she enjoyed helping Adam with his papers. The grateful look on his face was well worth the work. She was thinking of becoming an editor. But admitting that could raise questions she didn’t want to answer.
Ryan didn’t push the topic. Instead, he eased into asking what her plans were for the summer. To her surprise, he was not the type of guy to go out and party every night. He preferred to catch up on world events or hang out with friends … sober.
They chatted like old friends. There were no hidden innuendoes or flirtatious banter. It was comfortable, and Clara’s wounded heart wondered what it would be like to have a guy like him by her side. He was definitely easy on the eyes, but she knew it was a silly notion. Clara had tasted what it was like to be desired with such intensity it would haunt every potential relationship to come.
Damn him, she thought.
Clara forgot about the time until Mrs. Evans, the head librarian, approached their table to tell them the library would be closing soon.
“I’m so sorry,” Clara replied. “Lost track of time.”
Mrs. Evans smiled warmly as Clara packed her things and headed for the door. Ryan remained by her side. He even offered to carry her books, but she politely turned him down. She didn’t want to lead him on. Not when she was shamefully comparing him to another man. She would have to get Adam far from her mind before she even thought about someone new. It was only fair.
To her relief, Ryan didn’t ask for her number. Instead, he handed her a slip of paper with his, saying she could call him anytime. Clara smiled up at him, appreciating what he was doing. It was no secret that something had gone on between her and Adam. She was sure the entire student body knew, including a few teachers. But Ryan didn’t pounce the moment Clara was back on the market like so many of the females did to Adam. Instead, he waited for an opportunity and put the choice in her hands.
For a moment, Clara considered telling him she would call, but decided on “I’ll see you around.”
Ryan nodded and they parted ways. Clara slipped his number in the front of her notebook for safekeeping. She was a building away when Adam stumbled out of the shadows.
“What the hell, Adam?” she said as she clenched her chest. Her heart was racing from the sudden realization that she was not alone on the dim pathway towards the dorms. “What are you doing out here?”
His speech was just as clumsy as his feet. “Rose said you were here. I-I wanted to talk, but when I got here, you were already talking to someone else.”
“Are you drunk?”
“No,” he lied and failed at keeping his towering body from swaying. “You seeing him now?”
There was an edge to his voice that annoyed Clara to no end. How dare he be angry that someone else was interested! Wanting to cause him the same amount of pain he’d caused her, Clara said, “What if I am? You no longer get a say. You forfeited that when we broke up.”
Adam’s head slumped in shame. Part of her wanted to run to his side, but she forced her feet to remain still.
“I’m sorry,” he said. He sounded like he was on the verge of breaking. “I’m so sorry. I know I don’t deserve to be forgiven or anything, but I just wanted you to know that.”
Clara lifted her chin and held onto Adam’s hazy stare. She told herself she wasn’t going to forgive him, but seeing him again made all those emotions come flooding back.
“I can’t do this,” she said as she tried to scurry around him.
“Wait.” Grabbing her arm, he tried to hold her in place.
His touch was too familiar. In the last few days, her mind had replayed the addicting feeling of having his hands on her. Now it felt like a thousand volts rushing through her. It took a great deal of pride to keep from falling back into his arms.
“After finals,” he began, “the guys and I are having an end of the year party at my place. I know the last thing you want is to be near me, but I couldn’t have survived this year without you, so I wanted to invite you anyways. Rose is coming, and the guys miss you. So I promise to stay out of your way if you do come.”
Clara tried to remain composed as his words set in. Wiggling out of his grasp, she said, “I have to go.”
His face fell, but she refused to let guilt wrap itself around her. Turning her back, she commanded her feet carry her as far away as possible. Tears swelled up in the corner of her eyes, causing the objects in her path to blur together. She couldn’t forgive him. Not because his betrayal was beyond second chances, but because she’d forgiven him the moment she had confronted him at the Spring Festival. And that broke her pride more than any unfaithfulness could.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Adam gazed down at the party from the banister of the second floor. Music vibrated off the walls. His mother was gone for the weekend, making a trip to Benson to speak with his Uncle Jeff about the direction Adam’s future was headed. Right now he felt like his future was going right down the shitter. Sure, Jeff was impressed by Adam’s determination at the office, and thanks to Luke, he would pass his finals, but for some reason, he couldn’t be happy about it.
“Good turn out,” Luke said from beside him.
Adam nodded his reply. Half the student body was there, drinking their way through the many kegs and bouncing from room to room. He should have patted himself on the back but instead, he sulked. Sulked as he looked down at the future and the empire he would rule alone.
When he’d seen Ryan Winters talking to Clara in the library with that hopeful look in his eyes, it took everything Adam had not to storm in there and throw Ryan through the shelves. He’d never hated the guy before. In truth, he barely knew Ryan aside from the few classes they’d taken together.
She deserved better, Adam told himself.
Ryan Winters was better. He didn’t have some family name everyone feared, or worse, envied. Ryan was a nobody, and yet he had everything. Soon
he would have Clara, and Adam could only blame himself.
“Are you even listening?” Luke cut through his thoughts.
“What? Yeah.” The tone in his voice lacked conviction. To avoid Luke’s doubting stare, Adam sipped his drink. The taste of whiskey hit his tongue first, followed by the perfect mix of bitters and a sweet hint of simple syrup. An old fashioned. Strong, just the way he liked it.
“You analyzing it?” Luke asked with a cocked eyebrow.
“It’s a good drink.” Adam attempted sarcasm, but Luke saw right through it.
Fortunately, Luke turned his attention to the people on the first floor and said, “Two o’clock. Brunette. Thoughts?”
Adam’s hazy gaze searched the room before settling on the petite woman Luke motioned to. She was pretty, but Adam liked them taller, roughly five-six. With warm brown eyes. “Not interested.”
“I didn’t mean for you,” Luke said as if Adam was the most oblivious guy in the room. “Come on. Where’d my wing man go?”
Adam’s attention snapped to his friend. “What about Rose?”
“Please, she’s one argument away from dumping my ass. It was fun, but the chase is over.”
“Then why not end it?”
The lines on Luke’s forehead crinkled. Adam was sure his friend’s confused stare had everything to do with the fact that Adam never cared about relationship statuses before. It was always Adam who encouraged Luke to walk, or run, away from anything that would bind him to one woman. But that was all B.C.
Before Clara.
The thought of her and Ryan Winters sent him gulping down his drink. If his thoughts continued going down that dark path, Adam would need a refill long before the ice melted.
Following Adam to the nearest wet bar, Luke said, “Oh come on. You know how it is. I can tell Rose is done with me but why end it when she’s still putting out?”
Something ignited the anger within him, and before Adam could process his actions, Luke was pinned against the wall.
“What the hell?” Luke asked.
Seeing the confused shock in Luke’s eyes was enough to make Adam snap out of it. “Sorry. I just …” He sounded unsure, even to his own ears. Hearing the weakness in his voice added to the anger in his next words. “Just end it.”
Tame the Beast (Ever After #1) Page 18