“Can I go first?” she inquired weakly, tracing her finger along the rim of the glass. Unsure of what was bothering her, and afraid that I had done something to cause it, I simply nodded and gestured for her to speak.
She was hesitant, glancing from me, to her glass, to the floor, then back again. She worried her bottom lip between her teeth, tapping her nails on the tabletop.
“What’s bothering you? You know you can talk to me about anything. I know I feel like I can discuss anything with you,” I offered, reaching out to take her hand in my own. Her eyes flitted from side to side and after a moment she emptied her glass.
“Promise me that you won’t get angry,” she said meekly. It was my turn to hesitate, even if it was for the briefest of moments. I was confident that nothing she could say would truly anger me, so I nodded my head and smiled.
“I won’t get angry. Just talk to me,” I said with a smile. She returned the expression hesitantly, squeezing my hand and taking a deep breath. Before she could speak, however, the waiter arrived with our food. I was forced to break my grip on her, drawing my hand back to my side and waiting until the man stepped away. Ashley seemed to have lost her nerve in that brief moment, and for the time being I decided to let it go.
We ate in companionable silence, though Ashley did allow the occasional sigh to slip past her lips. When we had little more than scraps on our plate, I waved the waiter down to take our food. As he did, Ashley seemed to grow aware of the fact that I expected her to make her confession. She swallowed, struggling to form the words.
“I was in your office today,” she began, taking another large swallow of wine. I snorted out a laugh, crossing my arms.
“I’m well aware, Ashley. The pastry was delicious, by the way. I’m not sure why that has you in such a tizzy though,” I chuckled. She blanched, averting her eyes.
“Well, that’s not it. While I was in your office, I happened to see that your computer was unlocked. I…I took a peek, and I’m really sorry, Jensen. I was just so curious, and I saw that…I saw that you were looking for a surrogate mother,” she confessed, seemingly ready to burst into tears. Although I was slightly taken aback at the invasion of privacy, I couldn’t be too angry, especially considering that I had planned to tell her anyway.
“Ashley—” I began, only for her to cut me off with a nervous grin.
“B-but, there’s a reason I asked you out to dinner tonight. I wanted to take your mind off of things, yes…but there’s something else,” she rambled, and I could only stare at her in confusion. She seemed to be working herself up more and more with each passing moment, and I knew that interrupting her couldn’t help. I just waited for her to finish her thought, nowhere near prepared for what she was going to say. “I wanted to tell you, I could be a surrogate for you. That is…if you’d like,” she finally managed to get out, her cheeks a bright shade of red.
The words barely registered in my mind, and all I could see was that she seemed to be ready to hyperventilate. Before I could open my mouth to speak and offer her some comfort, my mind fully grasped what she was offering. I felt my own eyes grow wide with surprise, my mouth hanging agape. Ashley seemed to take it as a bad sign, and furiously began to apologize again.
It was difficult for me to form a coherent thought of my own in that moment, let alone come up with something to calm her down. All I could think was that Ashley, my beautiful, wonderful secretary, had just offered to be a surrogate mother for me.
“Ashley, calm down,” I managed, though my own voice was quaking slightly. I’d never been one to lose my cool, but this was far from a normal situation.
She turned to look at me, her eyes wide and teary, and I reached out to gently touch her cheek. Her skin was warm to the touch and much to my surprise, she seemed to press into my hand. Her breathing calmed a bit, and she closed her eyes, looking as exhausted as if she had just run a marathon.
As much as I didn’t want to press her further, I had to know.
Did she mean it?
Chapter 8
Jensen
I carefully formulated my thoughts before speaking, not wanting to upset her again. I also didn’t want to appear callous or rude, or as if I had been dying for her to say those very words (though in a way, I had been). For a moment I wanted nothing more than to circle around the table and draw her into my arms.
“Ashley…what are you suggesting?” I finally managed to ask, wishing there was some way I could take the blunt edge off of the words.
In response, she only buried her face in her hands, and I was afraid she would burst into tears at any given moment.
“I’m not angry with you,” I continued, “I just…I don’t understand. Do you realize the gravity of what you’re offering?” I asked carefully, drawing my hand back toward myself and resting my chin in my palm.
“Of course I realize. We’re talking about bringing a child into the world,” she muttered into her hands, hesitating a moment before sitting upright. “I’m not asking you to be in a relationship or anything. I wouldn’t expect you to entangle yourself in anything unnecessarily complicated,” she mumbled. As much as I wanted to correct her, I knew it was better to let her continue with that train of thought.
“How could it not get complicated? We work together, and…” I trailed off, realizing that was the only real argument I had. It wasn’t as if I would dislike fathering a child with Ashley; just the opposite was true. I was just all too aware of her feelings for me, and the somewhat mutual feelings I felt in turn. As far as she knew, her feelings were entirely one-sided, and it could get complicated beyond belief if she came to know otherwise.
“We’re friends first, right, Jensen? At least, that’s how I’ve always felt. We’re friends, and we both want a child. I know we work together, but the way I see it, this is a practical solution to both of our problems. We could co-raise a child, and we would both get what we want,” she said, growing more confident as she spoke. It was obvious that she had given this some thought, and I couldn’t lie and say I’d not considered it. Granted, I was somewhat taken aback by the suddenness of her suggestion.
If what she said was true, she had just learned about my desire for a child that day. That meant she’d had mere hours to consider her options before pitching the idea to me. I was struck by how selfless the notion was, how kind this woman was. I knew in my heart that it could cause problems in the long term, especially if both of our feelings came to light. Our working relationship could be ruined, and I could lose the closest friend I had. Yet, at the same time, there was the chance that we could become something more.
That chance, as much as I would have liked to deny it, made the decision for me.
“All right. All right, I think that could work,” I said thoughtfully. Her eyes lit up with surprise and delight, and she reached out to grip my hand. She seemed ready to burst into tears again, but she managed to regain her composure and pump my hand as if it had been her intention to simply shake it the entire time.
“So we’re in agreement? We’re actually going to do this?” she asked, as if to make sure she wasn’t merely dreaming.
I smiled, drawing her hand toward me with the intention to kiss it, then stopping myself short, not wanting to push the boundaries right away. It was my turn to shake her hand, and she was swift to jerk her sweaty palm away. God, her embarrassment was far too endearing.
“We’re going to have a baby. I think… Obviously, we need to discuss it more. How about we wrap it up here, and I’ll take you to my place to discuss things in a bit more depth?” I suggested.
I could tell by the flare of red in Ashley’s cheeks that she wanted a lot more than talking to happen at my place. Warmth rolled in my stomach at the thought, and I would have liked nothing more than to take her straight to bed. Still, this situation warranted further conversation.
More than anything, I wanted to be sure that Ashley wasn’t making a mistake. It was easy enough to say that things wouldn’t get complicated, bu
t to hold true to that promise was an entirely different story. Then again, I wasn’t sure I could have denied her either way.
“That sounds…nice,” she said gently, rising from her seat on unsteady legs. I realized abruptly just how much champagne she’d had, and I circled around the table to help guide her toward the door. We paused on the way out, just long enough for me to pay for dinner, then out the door we went, Ashley stumbling rather clumsily in the direction of my car.
“I had no idea what a lightweight you are,” I said, beginning to wonder if having the discussion at that moment was such a good idea.
“I’m just a bit overwhelmed. Not really drunk. Not…really,” she said with a breathy little laugh. Despite her words, I had to fasten her seatbelt as she settled into the passenger seat, watching me with nothing short of sheer adoration in her gaze. I would’ve been surprised if she hadn’t seen the same reflected in my own. I had to remain calm, however. Someone had to try and keep control of the situation.
I circled around the car, slipping into the driver’s seat and hesitating for a moment. I glanced toward her, noting that her slightly hazy expression was watching my every move.
“Are you sure you’re in any shape to come home with me?” I asked gently. Her lips curled into a sly smile, and she reached out to give me a gentle shove.
“What, are you planning to take advantage of me? After the promise you made?” she teased, and it was all I could do to keep from blushing. “I’m just kidding, Jensen. I’m fine. I’m a bit hazy, but I know that I want to talk about this. I’m afraid I’ll lose my nerve, otherwise,” she finished a bit timidly. Unable to stop the smile spreading across my face, I turned the ignition and shifted into gear.
“All right. We’ll talk. But that’s all you have to do. Don’t feel as if… That is, I wouldn’t expect the conception to be…natural,” I tried to assure her, though her eyes glinted with mischief. I knew whatever she was going to say couldn’t be good for my state of mind.
“And if I told you I wanted it to be natural?” she asked, resting her hand on my thigh. Inhaling a shuddering breath, it was all I could do to not launch myself across the seat and simply have my way with her. That wasn’t how I wanted it to go down, however. I wanted her to have a clear mind, I wanted to be confident that she truly knew what she wanted.
“I’ll fix you some coffee, and we’ll discuss that matter after you’ve sobered up a bit,” I said gently, lacing her fingers with my own and placing our hands firmly on the center console. She pouted slightly, and I’m sure weaker men would have given into her stare. It was all I could do to resist her, but I wasn’t going to be swayed. My hope was that she was just a bit tipsy, and that we could actually discuss the matter at hand.
Seeming content to just hold my hand, Ashley relaxed into her seat and stared out the window. I would have given anything to have been able to read her thoughts in that moment. So many conflicting emotions raced through my body on the short ride to my apartment, and as I pulled into the parking lot, she seemed reluctant to release my hand.
“Come on, sweetheart. Let’s fix you some coffee,” I said, carefully extracting my hand from her own. She pouted again, but managed to unfasten her seatbelt and lurch out of the car. She straightened up, the cool night air seeming to aid in sobering her up. I offered her my arm, and she took it with a smile before I guided her toward the building.
As she leaned against my side in the elevator, it was all I could do not to embrace her fully. I wanted to feel her lips against my own, feel her breasts heaving against the bare expanse of my chest. I wanted nothing more than to take her, but I had to do right by the woman that could very well bear my child.
When we reached my penthouse, I led her to the sofa before stepping into the kitchen. Within moments, the coffee was brewing, and in another brief moment, I was pouring her a steaming cup.
Gratefully accepting the coffee, Ashley relaxed and sipped from the mug for what seemed an eternity. I settled a respectable distance away from her, sinking into the plush material of the sofa. I watched her, taking pleasure in the way she shifted beneath the intensity of my gaze.
Finally, she sat the empty mug on the coffee table and turned to face me. Her eyes seemed clear of that drunken haze, and while I knew she wouldn’t be entirely sober for a while yet, I knew that the time had come to talk.
Chapter 9
Ashley
Though I still felt a little tipsy, the hot cup of coffee had sobered me up enough to think rationally. I tried not to blush as I thought about the things I’d said without really thinking, though all my words had been rooted in truth. More humiliating was my anxiety attack in the middle of the restaurant, when I made my confession. I wouldn’t be able to blame Jensen if he thought me a fool at that point.
He was watching me with an intensity that I was not quite familiar with. His eyes had darkened with what I could only hope was desire, and as he shifted closer to me, I struggled to form the words to enunciate what I wanted from him. Jensen was apparently nonplussed by my hesitation, however, taking my hand in his own.
“I suppose we should start right at the root of it,” he began, his expression confident as he stroked a thumb to the back of my hand. I reddened at the familiarity behind the touch, feeling foolish for being so easily swept up. “You want to carry my child. That is, be a surrogate for me?” he continued, his voice steady. I shifted uncomfortably, biting my lower lip nervously.
“Well, more so that I would like us to be co-parents…if you would find that acceptable. If I have a child with you, I don’t like the idea of giving up all my rights as a mother. I don’t expect a relationship, but I do expect us to be a team in this,” I said. I hoped it wasn’t too obvious that I was shaken with nerves, but Jensen’s expression remained kind throughout.
“That’s perfectly understandable. I know how badly you’ve wanted a child as well. I wouldn’t take that away from you,” he assured me. I smiled awkwardly, squeezing his hand in an attempt to show my appreciation. “With that settled however, there is the issue of how exactly we will conceive. I don’t intend to hold what you said while you were drunk against you, but—” he began, but I cut him off before he could continue.
“I…uh…would like to conceive naturally. I wasn’t just drunkenly rambling, that’s… I mean, I understand if you’re against it,” I said shyly. He watched me with a gleam in his eyes, those gorgeous blue orbs tracing along the swells and dips of my curves. It was an obviously appraising look, and I found myself praying that he liked what he saw.
“Can I be frank, Ashley?” he inquired, our eyes locking for a moment. I was too caught up in his stare to attempt to break away, and he reached out to caress my cheek. My breath caught in my throat, and I had to resist the overwhelming desire to press into his touch. My mouth fell open despite my attempts to keep it closed, and he smiled cheekily.
“Of-of course, Jensen,” I managed to stammer out, receiving a reassuring smile in turn.
“You’re a beautiful woman. I’m sure you’re well aware. What I mean to say is…I’ve always harbored an attraction toward you. I’ve wanted nothing more than to touch you since I first lay eyes on you,” he said bluntly, oozing confidence, and I found myself unable to keep from smiling. He seemed to be waiting for a response and, considering that it was obviously a full disclosure conversation, I threw caution to the wind.
“The feeling’s mutual. I’m sure you’ve felt my eyes on you at work, I’m not exactly the subtlest woman in the world. Every time you look at me…” I paused as his eyes danced with mirth. “Yes, like that. When you do that, it’s all I can do to keep from kissing you,” I admitted, my face growing almost unbearably hot. His expression changed from one of amusement to something much deeper, almost primal.
“We’ve got our answer then, don’t we?” he said, edging even closer to me. I struggled to remain in one spot, resisting the desire to surge toward him. I wanted him to take the lead, and he seemed all too eager to do so as he
tangled a hand in my hair and drew my face closer to his. I squeezed my eyes shut, his breath hot against my lips.
When our lips touched, it was like a thousand electric shocks jolted through my body all at once. I fought to swallow a moan, only partially succeeding as he parted my lips with his tongue, massaging my own into action. He seemed pleased when I gripped his shirt, all but draping myself in his lap as our tongues danced and tangled.
When he drew away, the look he gave me sent a jolt of arousal straight between my thighs. I could feel the steady pulsing of my arousal, feeling embarrassingly wet for all we had done. If all it took was a bit of foreplay for me to come undone at his hands, I couldn’t imagine the pleasure of having him inside of me.
The thought was enough to make me squirm and Jensen gripped my hips, his jaw clenching. I became suddenly aware of just what part of him I was wriggling against and parted my lips to apologize, only for him to hungrily smash our mouths together again.
Jensen held me firmly in place against his lap, and I could feel his manhood stiffening as things began to intensify. I drew away, urgently trying to tug my shirt off, and he took the hint, helping me.
My chest heaved as he moved to cup my breasts in his hands, the sensation almost agonizingly pleasurable in spite of the thin layer fabric between us. He quickly reached around, unclasping my bra with one swift movement. As it fell away, he ducked his head to latch his lips around one of my swiftly-hardening nipples.
“Jensen,” I cried out helplessly, arching into his mouth. His hips jerked upwards, and I gasped as I felt the bulge of his manhood through his slacks. Unable to control myself, I quickly worked to unbutton his shirt, popping some of the buttons clean off in the process. I blushed, offering him an apologetic smile.
“Eager, aren’t we?” he panted, though it looked as if he were trying very hard to restrain himself.
Baby, ASAP - A Billionaire Buys a Baby Romance (Babies for the Billionaire Book 3) Page 17