by Ally Vance
“Hurry up, or I’ll throw the whole ladder down there while you’re still climbing it,” he threatens.
I jump to my feet, scoop up my bag, and climb as fast as I can. Soon enough, I’m hauling myself out of the top, inhaling the cool fresh air in large gulps as I try to slow my racing heart. That was exhausting, and had Vaughn not snuck me some food when he did, I don’t know that I’d have had the energy to make it out by myself.
I’m sprawled on the ground at Pater’s feet, and in this moment as I stare up at him with tears in my eyes, I’ve never felt more like a child, worshipping the ground he walks on with fear of the repercussions if I don’t. My stint in the hole has weakened my resolve, and I’m too fragile to fight against his wishes. Pater is my daddy, and I’m his daughter, and for now, I’ll obey his rules.
Chapter Twenty
Pater doesn’t move to help me up or assist me in getting back to the house. But I’m guessing, the way he sees it, I got myself into this mess, and now I’ve faced the consequence, it’s time for me to pick myself up and get on with it. He’s not about to coddle me or offer me any comfort when I’m the one who fucked up. It doesn’t change what he did to me, and it doesn't make it okay, but maybe, someday, it will make me strong enough to accept this fate or fight it.
Slowly, when I feel ready, I push myself up onto my hands and knees and try to stand on shaking legs. What little energy I had, I expended it in my urgency to escape the oubliette. Pater disappears into the house, and after a few moments, I see Vaughn in the doorway watching me struggle. An unfamiliar young woman, who I’m assuming is Jocelyn, is standing beside him. She glances behind her before she shoves him toward me and then disappears. Vaughn rushes over, and helping me to stand, he hustles me into the house and sets me down on one of the chairs in the kitchen before closing the back door.
I groan, leaning back on the chair. After spending a few days on the oubliette floor, my stiff muscles and joints are reluctant to bend and stretch to accommodate a normal sitting position. The straw provided some cushioning, but it wasn’t exactly comfortable.
“Thanks,” I mumble, folding my hands in my lap.
I feel disgusting, and I desperately need to have a shower and wash the grime off, not to mention put on a fresh set of clothing. Vaughn sets down a glass of water on the table next to me and leaves me alone in the room. I watch the beads of condensation slide down the sides to pool around its base, and I think about how I feel like that water; malleable and bending to the will of the vessel shaping it and restrained by the hard exterior holding it in place, just like Pater does to me and the rest of his family…my family.
I'm afraid of the future, and what lies ahead should I continue to stay here with him. I promised to be good, to behave and do what he asks of me, but I’m still so unsure. Every piece of truth I’ve uncovered has thrown filthy secrets into a harsh light, and I can’t help questioning everything I’ve ever thought and wanted. Nothing here is black and white. Everything is a murky shade of gray, and I fear my soul will never be clean again.
I finish the water and place the empty glass down on the wooden table with a small clunk. Getting to my feet, I slowly make my way through the house to the bathroom. I need a shower and to put on some clean clothes. I feel disgusting, and I’m sure I look and smell equally bad after my ordeal. I still don’t know how many days have passed since I was imprisoned in the oubliette, and honestly, I’m not sure I want to know. I don’t want to be able to put a timestamp on the cruelty of my punishment.
The hallway is empty, but I can hear the sound of voices coming from the family room up ahead. Maybe when I’m clean, I’ll join them. More likely, though, I’ll hide away in my room and sleep the memories away.
Stripping out of my clothes, I ball them up to put them in the trash. After living in them constantly for the last few days, they're completely ruined. I gaze at my reflection in the mirror, taking in my dirt-covered skin, my lank, filthy hair, and pale complexion. There are dark rings around my eyes, and looking closer, I notice the hollow quality has returned to them that was there after I found Mom in the bathtub with her wrists sliced open, dripping blood onto the shower mat. She fucking abandoned me and left me alone with Gregory. She chose to take her own life rather than spend it with me. I don’t know how much time has passed since Mom died, but the longing that led me to this house hasn’t been dulled, it’s just been cast into shadow by the imposing father of us all.
I let the hot water loosen and relax my aching muscles as I wash away the grime from my skin. The longer I stand there, soaking in the water, I think about everything that’s happened and the family I’ve found. I understand why Mom tried to hide them from me, but it doesn’t change the fact they are mine, and I belong to them. Their blood flows in my veins, and we are bound together by the man who created us. I don’t hate him, even after everything he’s done to me, but it’s only now, as I reflect on these things, I realize that I love him. It’s bizarre, it’s terrifying, and it’s wrong, but even though I shouldn’t, the feeling’s there like a small spark inside me.
I continue to stand under the spray long after my body is clean, enjoying the heat and the feel of the water running over my skin. I know I can’t hide in here forever, and I don’t want to get into trouble for using all the hot water. But the thought that scares me the most is that I’m not sure why I’m hiding or who I’m hiding from; Pater or myself.
Chapter Twenty-One
Stepping out of my bedroom the next morning, I halt when I see the young woman standing in the hallway. I know from our brief encounter yesterday this is Jocelyn. She can’t be much older than me, but her eyes tell another story altogether. I can tell she’s seen and experienced more than I could ever begin to imagine.
She doesn’t say anything, just silently appraises me with a sad expression on her face. Our eyes lock and her sharp intake of breath makes my heart jump. I know exactly what she’s seeing when she looks into my eyes because it’s the same thing I see in hers...him.
I glance away, heat rising in my cheeks. I’m not sure why her reaction surprised me. Sometimes, if I caught Mom unawares, she’d do the same thing; she’d flinch, but it was always fleeting before she’d mask it. I never noticed it when I was young, but as I grew older I wondered why until I confronted her about it one day, and she admitted that I had my daddy’s eyes. I never understood why they bothered her so much until I met him and felt his gaze piercing through me.
I don’t say anything to break the silence that feels like a vast expanse between us, and when it seems clear she isn’t going to either, I turn to head for the family room.
“Vaughn cares about his family. Don’t break that trust. He’s a good kid,” Jocelyn finally says, and I turn to face her.
Her expression is haunted, and I wonder what exactly put that hollow pain in her eyes, but when she blinks, it clears, and her expression becomes impassive. I get the feeling Jocelyn is used to masking her emotions from those around her, and I’m guessing, from one person in particular. However, given what Vaughn told me, and what she said just now, she has a fierce protective streak in her, and I can see that same quality reflected in Vaughn every time he’s tries to help me avoid getting into trouble.
I have no words to say to her in response, but I nod in acknowledgement. I can’t promise anything when I’m still drowning in my own confusion about my place here. I think this is the only acceptance I will get from her, and that’s enough.
“Thank you for helping me yesterday,” I tell her sincerely, and her face relaxes a little, but the tension never leaves her shoulders.
“I look out for my family. What kind of mother or sister would I be if I didn’t?” she asks, but it sounds rhetorical, so I don’t answer
The familial ties are strong in this household, and I can feel them drawing me closer into their embrace. I don’t know whether I should submit or continue to struggle against them. I shed my mother’s name when I walked out of her door after she abandoned me,
and in that moment, I became a Greene and stepped into this family as Pater’s daughter. This is my family now, and I chose them over everything that came before.
“Vaughn told me what happened. I don’t blame you for trying to run,” she says.
“How much did he tell you?” I ask, wondering what else Vaughan shared with her. My mind flashes back to the night he walked in on me pleasuring myself and prevented me from getting caught.
“Enough to know that you’ll never be able to escape this family’s legacy, even if you do manage to get out of here.” Jocelyn frowns thoughtfully and then pulls me into the bathroom.
“What are you doing?” I ask as she rummages in a small cupboard for something.
“How long have you been here now?”
“A few weeks, I think. I’m not sure exactly. Why?”
“Have you had a period since you arrived?”
My blood freezes, and my heart stops dead in my chest as I stare at her,
“No, but that doesn’t mean anything. I’ve always been irregular. What about you? How come you’ve not had any children yet?” I probe.
“I’m not sure, but I hope I never do. The boys were like my children until I ruined it.”
“Ruined it? What do you mean?”
Her eyes fill with a sheen of tears before hardening, but her voice is thick with emotion when she finally answers, “Eloy has gone to where evil can’t touch him again, and Vaughn is never going to forgive me for what I allowed to happen.”
My heart halts at her words, and a tear rolls down my face as I picture my quiet youngest brother who always seemed to be on the outskirts of everything. Jocelyn straightens up, and her expression says the subject is closed as she holds out a pregnancy test to me, but I shake my head.
“It’s not been that long,” I inform her. “I don’t need that. It’s not unusual for me to go several weeks without a period.”
She doesn’t seem convinced, but she reluctantly puts the test back in the cupboard.
“ For your sake, I hope you’re right. I still think you should take the test, but I won’t force you.”
“I’m fine,” I reassure her, and she nods, accepting my response.
I can tell she’s not happy that I refused, but I don’t feel any different and doing the test would make this situation feel so much more real, no matter the result. I want the part of this that still feels like a dream to last for as long as possible. I don’t want to sink any further into the nightmare, and I don’t want to be woken up to discover this is my new reality.
Jocelyn exits the bathroom, leaving me standing there with the weight of my refusal hanging in the air, suffocating me with the knowledge of what it would mean if I’m wrong. I shake my head, attempting to clear the fog of thoughts swirling around inside it, and step into the now empty hallway. I can hear quiet voices filtering out of the family room, and I should go to them, but I find my feet leading me in the opposite direction, deeper into the house.
Chapter Twenty-Two
I hesitate for a split second, looking behind me only once before continuing. I can’t say why I’m doing this, I’m bound to get caught, but I know that stopping isn’t an option now I’ve started down this path. I get to the bottom of the stairs and pause, looking up at them. Suddenly they seem longer than they really are, and I wonder at my sanity for doing this, but curiosity has got the better of me. Inhaling deeply, I put a foot on the bottom step when I hear a voice hiss from behind me.
“No! Don’t go up there!”
Running footsteps approach, and a warm hand grabs me by the elbow, pulling me back.
“Are you fucking insane? Don’t go up there. If Pater finds out that you’ve gone up there, you don’t know what he’ll do,” Jocelyn scolds, her voice heavy with fear beneath the warning tone.
“What will he do to me that he hasn’t already?” I laugh hollowly.
She shakes her head, “Those are his special rooms, and we are not allowed to go in there without his express permission.”
“Have you been in them?” I ask her bluntly.
“Not all of them. Pater is very private. I don’t want to know what’s in them, and we’re forbidden to ask. Sometimes, I listen to my fear when it comes to Pater, and you should too,” Jocelyn admits, biting her lip.
“I don’t want to listen to it all the time. I want to fight back.”
“Not on this,” she replies bluntly and proceeds to pull me back down the hallway, her hand wrapped firmly around my arm.
I could free myself from her hold if I chose, but I let her lead me away from certain punishment and into the kitchen where the morning meal is being prepared. Not two minutes later, Pater walks into the room, and the tension ramps up by a thousand percent.
“No good morning for your dad, kids?” he says, raising an eyebrow as he looks between all three of us when we stare silently at him.
I surprise myself when I’m the first to respond, “Morning, Daddy.”
He looks at me with his signature smirk firmly in place, and I fight the urge to squirm in my seat. It never fails to disarm me when he does that. It throws me back to a time when I had no idea who he was, and I almost wish in these moments that I still don’t. The other two follow suit, and we all settle down into the familiar morning ritual, but now with the glaring absence of Eloy.
After we’re done and everything has been cleaned up, Pater slides his chair back, scraping it along the floor as he moves to stand.
“Sofia, come with me,” he instructs, and my stomach twists nervously.
I’m confused because I haven’t broken any rules or done anything to warrant special attention, so I can’t be about to be punished. I don’t move at first as my mind whirs frantically, trying to figure out what he could possibly think I’ve done.
“Go on, it’ll only be worse if you don’t,” Jocelyn whispers, urging me forward, worry splashed across her features.
My hands are shaking as I walk around the table toward Pater who then leads me out of the room. I expect him to take me into the family room like he’s done before, but he bypasses it and the first floor bedrooms, and instead, he makes for the stairs. After what Jocelyn hinted at this morning, I want to turn tail and run, but he’s already proven that he’ll be one step ahead of me. Running is the worst thing I could do right now; he’d catch me before I could even finish the thought.
As if to prove my point and maybe sensing my conflict, Pater twists his head to glance over his shoulder with his eyebrow raised when I hesitate. I immediately start to follow him again as we move into the only part of the house I’ve not yet ventured. My lungs feel tight, and my heart is hammering in a rapid drumbeat against my ribs. I’ve been warned against going to these rooms, and when I started to head up here this morning, Jocelyn stopped me. Why am I suddenly being invited here now?
Once upstairs, I’m led down an unfamiliar hallway past a few closed doors, which have my curiosity rearing its head again, until finally Pater opens a door and walks inside what looks to be his bedroom. Nervously twisting my hands, I enter the room, and as I do, Pater shuts the door behind me. The click as the catch moves into place echoes in my ears.
Pater’s hands touch my shoulders, making me jump, and his warm breath blows on my face as he chuckles in my ear at my reaction. I shiver reflexively and fight to repress the urge to lean into the hard body standing directly behind me.
“W-why am I up here?” I stammer, hating how afraid I sound while attempting to calm my frazzled nerves.
“You wanted to know what’s up here. Well, Fia, I’m going to show you,” Pater says matter-of-factly.
I spin around to face him, a soft gasp leaving my mouth at his use of my nickname. I never told him about that, and I never mentioned wanting to know what was up here. Without giving me the chance to respond, he dips his head down and kisses me fully on the lips. The stubble on his chin scratches lightly at my skin, and the intense passion in his kiss ignites a reluctant heat in my belly.
I
’m powerless and foolishly unwilling to stop him as he shoves me toward his bed and proceeds to remove every piece of my clothing until I’m completely naked and exposed.
“Good girl, now lie down and let me taste that pussy of yours before I fill it up,” Pater instructs, and I obey his command, remembering how it felt when he fucked me before and Jocelyn’s warning down in the kitchen.
When I feel his tongue probing my entrance, I let out a breathy moan. Pater’s chuckle vibrates against my core, and I shudder at the sensation rolling through me. Heat floods down below as he slowly lavishes attention on my pussy, pushing his tongue inside until his mouth is pressed against me and my cries are filling his bedroom. This shouldn’t feel so good, and I curse whatever part of me is broken enough to enjoy the sensations he’s creating within me.
“Oh, God,” I nearly scream the words when the orgasm sweeps me away on its riptide.
“My turn,” Pater says, rising to his full height and removing his clothes to reveal his taut body and the thick erection jutting out from his hips.
My body is still weak from the aftershocks of my orgasm, but I manage to move until I’m perched on the end of his bed and my face is level with his cock. I take a deep breath as he forces his cock past my parted lips, filling my mouth and throat in a steady rhythm and making me gag.
As his movements become jerky he pushes me back, so I’m lying down on the bed. I know what’s expected of me, and I spread my legs open for him. He covers me with his heavy body, lines himself up with my pussy, and thrusts fully into me until I’m whimpering at the painful stretch from his cock. No matter how many times he does this, I will never get used to the feeling of him taking me like this.
His dark eyes are almost black, and his usually tidy black hair is messy, making the thin silver streaks more stark in the bright light streaming through the window. His hands are planted either side of my head and he proceeds to fuck me, raw and hard, until I’m panting, sweating, and chasing another illicit release. Our combined moans and the sound of our hips slapping together fill the narrow space between us, and I can feel my mind slipping away.