by K. Walker
I wasn’t aware missing one meal made someone that hungry, but I figured it was better not to comment. I didn’t need to get my head bitten off, figuratively or literally. It was probably better that Adrian had never had to truly go hungry before. That wasn’t a pain I would wish upon my worst enemy.
And, speaking of my worst enemy, Paisley walked by me right then, nose in the air, acting like she didn’t even see me. Which was fine with me. At least it meant she wasn’t being a complete bitch again. But then, after I had threatened to rearrange her face, she probably wasn’t going to risk opening her mouth any time soon.
Part of me kind of wished she would, though. With everything going on in my life, I’d have loved to hit someone a few times. It’d be a great stress reliever. Probably not the healthiest outlet, but it’d certainly be the most satisfying. The only thing that might be more satisfying than punching Paisley a few times would be punching Wes a few times.
At least her friends had stopped glaring at me and trying to trip me in the halls. Ever since I’d been assaulted at the weekly beach party they were responsible for; they’d been almost pleasant to me. I wasn’t sure how long that would last, though, but I was going to enjoy it while it did last.
I had enough shit going on. I really didn’t need drama from them, too.
“So, are you gonna tell me why you’ve been all sullen today?” Adrian asked, making me groan. First, I’d had Jaxson pestering me about it, and now Adrian was too?
But she was my best friend, and if I owed anyone an explanation, it was her. I gave her the short version as we made our way to our normal table with Sebastian and his friends. Unlike Jaxson, Adrian thankfully didn’t immediately jump in to defend Wes. She didn’t immediately crucify him either, though.
“You really think he would do that?” Adrian frowned, shaking her head. “I mean, I kinda agree with Jax. Wes can be an idiot, but he’d never really lied to any of the girls he’s been with. At least not that I’ve heard. And trust me; he’s had plenty of girls who’ve wanted more than a quickie in the janitor’s closet. He’s never led any of them on.”
I shrugged. Maybe it wasn’t something he did all the time. And if that was true, then good for him. But that didn’t change what I had overheard last night. “Well, then I guess I’m special,” I said with a teasing smirk.
“Oh, honey, we all know you’re special.” Adrian nudged me with her shoulder as she laughed. I was so lucky to have her as a friend. Without her, I was pretty sure I would have already gone insane.
Halfway through lunch, Adrian nudged me, then leaned over to whisper. She kept her voice low enough to not be overheard by anyone else at our table. “Speaking of your man-whore step-brother, it looks like he’s managed to piss off Paisley, too.”
Following Adrian’s gaze, I looked over at Wes’s normal table. Instead of sitting on his lap where she usually was, Paisley was sitting on the opposite side of the table from him, glaring daggers at him. Whatever he’d done, she certainly looked ready to murder him.
I couldn’t help but smirk. I wasn’t sure what Wes had done, but it was hard to feel sympathy for Paisley. If anyone deserved whatever it was, it was probably her.
“Guess he’s not getting any in the janitor’s closet tonight!” I whispered back.
Adrian’s eyes went wide as she burst out laughing. I laughed as well, making the rest of the table turn and look at us like we’d both grown two heads. Sebastian, in particular, watched me with a raised eyebrow, but I just winked at him.
I doubted he’d been in on Lucas’s little plan, and if that was true, I didn’t want to drag him into it. Let him enjoy the blissfulness of being in the dark. It was a perk I didn’t have anymore.
But hey, at least I had my own car now and I didn’t have to be stuck in the back of Wes’s every morning and afternoon. That was a plus, right?
And, honestly, the badass car Lucas had gotten me almost made it worth the bullshit.
Chapter 3
Glancing at my phone for the time, I let out a soft sigh. I’d basically hidden in my room since I’d gotten home. It would be time for dinner soon, and I was not looking forward to seeing Wes. But I couldn’t hide up here forever, no matter how badly I wanted to. I had a feeling if I tried to stay up here during dinner, either Lucas would come up and drag me down, or he’d send one of the boys to do it.
Not wanting to deal with that, I made my way downstairs. Halfway down the hallway leading to the kitchen, I heard raised voices. At first, it was just Lucas’s voice. Then, I heard Kathy’s voice, and I froze. My heart pounded as I remembered her threat from the other day. Had Lucas found out she was cheating on him and assumed I’d told him and spilled the beans? Or had she just decided not to wait and spilled anyway?
Then, I heard Wes’s voice arguing with them, and I didn’t know what to think. I couldn’t hear a word they were saying, just the angry tones of their voices. Part of me really wanted to just run back upstairs and lock myself in the bedroom.
But Sebastian was my friend. If they were arguing about him, I wanted to know so I could at least try to warn him. I tried to be quiet as I walked down the hall, but Wes must’ve been pacing around the kitchen. When he walked by the doorway, he spotted me and said something to Lucas and Kathy.
The arguing stopped, and I froze again. Wes stared at me, and I stared back, not sure what else to do. I hadn’t actually been doing anything wrong. I’d just been walking down the hallway to the kitchen. But, at the same time, they obviously hadn’t wanted me to overhear what they’d been talking about.
Kathy appeared in the doorway a moment later, glaring at me. Then, she stomped down the hall, walking right passed me without even saying a word. I watched her go, eyebrows raised, wondering what the hell was going on in this house all of a sudden. It was like someone had decided to spike the water supply and everyone was slowly losing their freaking minds.
Now that Kathy was gone and the argument seemingly over, I continued the way toward the kitchen. Both Lucas and Wes were looking at each other, almost like they were silently talking with their eyes. Neither looked very comfortable, and I was even more curious what the argument had been about. It didn’t seem like it’d had anything to do with Sebastian or even with Kathy cheating on him, at least.
But this wasn’t my circus and they weren’t my monkeys—the fewer problems I had to deal with, the better. I had my own shit to worry about and was not going to voluntarily stick my head into their family drama if I could avoid it, no matter how curious I was.
“What’s for dinner?” I asked instead, trying to cut through some of the tension.
Lucas sighed, and then ran a hand through his hair. When he looked over at me, he smiled and did his best to not look royally pissed off. “Stella made lasagna and put it in the oven before she left. It should be done soon.”
Well, at least he was pretending everything was okay. That had to count for something, right?
Wes kept trying to make eye contact with me while I got a drink and waited for dinner to be ready, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him again. I was still pissed off about him lying to me, and I really didn’t want to hash it out with him right then. Or ever, if I was being honest. I was perfectly happy with just ignoring his entire existence for the rest of my life.
Yeah, so it wasn’t the most mature decision I’d ever made, but I really didn’t care. I just wanted to get through the rest of this school year, preferably without having a mental breakdown.
Sebastian came down almost at the exact moment Lucas pulled the lasagna out of the oven. But even once he started serving it, Kathy hadn’t returned. Nor did anyone go fetch her or even really seem to care that she was AWOL.
The lasagna was good, but the entire time I ate, my mind was like a merry-go-round that just wouldn’t stop. Finally, I looked up at Lucas and the words just tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them. “You lied about my father, didn’t you? He didn’t die when I was a baby.”
Out of
the corner of my eye, I could see Wes glaring at me, but I just continued to ignore him. I had told him I’d wait and let him talk to his father to broach the subject for me, but I was tired of waiting. Hell, I wasn’t even sure if he’d even actually do it. If he was only pretending to be nice to me, how did I know he wasn’t lying about talking to his father?
Lucas stared at me for a moment, lips drawn into a tight line. “What makes you say that?” He actually did a damned good job at keeping his voice neutral. I couldn’t tell if he was pissed at me if he was panicking because he’d been caught in a lie, or if he just thought I’d suddenly gone bonkers.
“I saw a picture of him in the library. With all of you. So he obviously didn’t die when I was a baby unless you’re going to tell me he had an identical twin you’d forgotten to mention.”
Lucas took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. Setting down his fork, he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms in front of his chest. He didn’t look happy about being caught in his lie, but he didn’t look pissed either. “Yes, your father is alive,” he said at last.
“Then why did you tell me he was dead? And if he’s not dead, why aren’t I living with him instead of you?” Question after question went through my mind. There was so much I didn’t know, so much he was keeping from me. And damn it, I wanted to know why!
“Bella, please,” he said, his voice sounding tired and strained. When I locked eyes with him, he actually looked exhausted. Maybe that fight with Kathy and Wes had taken more out of him than I thought. “Please just let it go. I’m sorry I lied to you, and I know you don’t want to hear it, but it really is for the best.”
My hands balled into fists and I stared at the plate in front of me. I was getting tired of other people deciding what was best for me. I wasn’t a child anymore, damn it. I was a grown woman and capable of handling anything they could. So why was he keeping me in the dark?
I opened my mouth to argue, but Lucas cut me off. “Please, Bella. Trust me. I’ll tell you everything at some point, I promise, just not yet.”
“You also told me you’d tell me about my father when you’d first brought me here,” I countered, not sure I wanted to believe him. Other than not telling me about my father, Lucas hadn’t lied to me, though. Not that I knew of, anyway. I wasn’t going to blame him for Wes, even if he had been the one to tell Lucas to watch over me.
Lucas winced and nodded. Then, he started massaging his temples. “I know, and I’m sorry about that. I wanted to get you out of there and it seemed like the only thing that would convince you to come with me. But I promise I have a good reason for not telling you everything.”
“I thought my father was your best friend. That he was like an older brother to you.”
“He is, but that doesn’t mean things aren’t complicated. I love your father as if he were my biological brother. Just as I love you as if you were my biological niece, but that’s why I can’t tell you everything. It’s to keep you safe, I promise.”
I frowned, still not liking that answer. But we were just going around in circles now. Lucas had made it clear I wasn’t going to get any more out of him, not right now anyway. Arguing with him anymore was just going to end up being a waste of breath, so I gave up.
With a resigned sigh, I focused on finishing my dinner. I wanted to get up and just walk away, but Momma had raised me to be polite. And I’d spent enough nights hungry to know not to ever waste food. Just because I didn’t have to worry about when I’d get my next meal right now didn’t mean it’d always be that way.
After we finished eating, I headed back up to my room. No one had really spoken during dinner and the tension had been thick enough to cut with a knife. Lucas had retreated to his office, the door practically slamming shut behind him.
If Kathy was still home, I had no idea where she’d disappeared to, nor did I really care. Heck, I was in such a foul mood I didn’t even say anything to Sebastian.
I hated how much this was all bothering me. I had been perfectly fine, not knowing my father for seventeen years! So why did I care so much about him now? It was clear he didn’t want to be in my life. Since he wasn’t dead, he would have had plenty of chances to... do anything, really. Write me a letter. Call me. Come visit me. Hell, when Mom had died, why hadn’t he been the one to come and get me?
Why had he sent Lucas instead? And why didn’t Lucas want me to know anything about the man?
God, it was all driving me completely insane. I wasn’t sure how much more of this shit I could handle before I snapped. I wanted to get out of the house, to go somewhere and do something to take my mind off everything. But I had no idea where I would go. It wasn’t like I had a ton of friends around here, and I didn’t feel like bugging Adrian. She’d put up with me enough as it was.
Most of my friends were back in Compton, though since I hadn’t heard much from them since moving out here, God only knew if they even still considered me a friend. Driving out there tonight was out of the question. Lucas would flip if he knew I’d gone out there this late. And honestly, it probably wasn’t the best idea anyway.
I trusted JP and his boys to keep me safe, no question about it. But showing up in Compton in the middle of the night with a flashy car? That was the kind of attention I didn’t need. Nor did I need to bring that kind of attention to JP.
There was no way every eye on the streets wouldn’t be watching that car the moment I crossed into town. And while I knew JP wouldn’t hesitate to watch my back, the car would have the eyes of every rival gang on him, and after everything he’d done for me, I didn’t want to put that much pressure on him.
But I had to do something if I wanted to keep sane. Jogging was the first thing that came to mind. In this ritzy neighborhood, even a girl running by herself at night would be safe. But I didn’t quite feel like going out for a run right then, especially since I was only somewhat familiar with the neighborhood. If I was going to get lost on a jog, I’d rather it be during the daylight, at least.
Then, I remembered the pool. Grinning, I hopped up off the bed. If I was going to live in a mansion with an Olympic sized pool in the back yard, then I might as well use the damned thing! This late at night, I doubted Wes would be bringing over any of his wrestling buddies either, so I would actually be able to enjoy it without feeling like a piece of steak tossed out in front of a bunch of hungry wolves.
Chapter 4
No one was downstairs when I went back down, dressed in nothing but my bikini. I had considered throwing something on over top of it, then figured I was being silly. It wasn’t like I was going out anywhere and anyone at the house would be able to see me in it once I got into the pool.
The backyard was dark, with just small, ankle-high, lights around the perimeter and the lights inside the pool itself. They were set on a color-changing pattern, alternating through all the colors of the rainbow. It was by far the nicest pool I had ever even laid eyes on, much less swam in.
The water was heated all the time too. So while it wasn’t kept boiling like the hot tub, when I slipped into it, the warmth washed right through my body. I let out a groan and just floated there for a minute. Closing my eyes, I let the water guide me. For those moments, I was able to forget all of my problems, all the bullshit that had been going on in my life over the years. It was like magic like I had been transported to a whole new world.
When I came back to my senses, I had a whole new energy coursing through me. Those moments were like an out of body experience, one that had shattered the tension building up inside me. But all that tension had to go somewhere, and it was pumping through me like a shot of adrenaline.
Moving back toward the wall, I took a deep breath and braced myself. Then, I launched off of it, propelling myself through the water. Not many of my friends had known how to swim growing up, but Mom had made sure I knew how when I was just a toddler. Looking back, I was pretty sure the only reason she’d dated the guy she’d been with when I was two was because of the big round pool he
had.
Even though I had only just been a toddler and it’d been a long time since then, I could still remember being in Mom’s arms, looking at the swirling blue water below as we stood on the wooden deck. I didn’t remember wearing the pink tutu one-piece bathing suit I’d been wearing, but she’d had a picture of me in it and I could still remember that.
What I did remember was being in Mom’s arms one minute, a splash, and then bobbing up and down in the water the next. She’d tossed me in there without warning. According to her, I’d flailed around for a few moments while Mom perched on the edge, waiting to jump in if I needed her. But then, I had figured out I could float in the water and then I was happy as a clam.
We spent quite a bit of time out in the pool that summer as Mom made sure I could swim well enough in an emergency. And while she had broken up with that guy a couple of months later and I hadn’t had a chance to swim very much after that, I was still like a fish any time I did get to dive in again.
The adrenaline kept pumping as I swam lap after lap, feeling my muscles burn. It had been far too long since I’d done this, and while my muscles hadn’t forgotten how, they sure weren’t used to it anymore. I really needed to get out here and swim more often and spend less time holed up in my bedroom.
With all the delicious, rich food Stella constantly made every day, it was a wonder I hadn’t already doubled in weight! It was a wonder Sebastian was able to stay as lanky as he was. At least Wes and Chuck had wrestling and all to keep themselves fit. But Sebastian was like a black hole when it came to food and yet you could still see his ribs whenever he walked around shirtless.
Lucky little bastard, I thought as I slowed. As much as I wanted to keep going, keep pushing myself, I didn’t want to risk pulling a muscle. It was going to take my body a while to get used to swimming laps like that, and I wasn’t going to rush it. The pool wasn’t going anywhere.