“Really?” he asked, seeming amused. “I find that hard to believe.”
My head jerked up, and a deep furrow pinched my brow. “How so?” What was he getting at?
His expression hardened and he swallowed. “Never mind.”
***
“Hey, table fourteen just asked me if I could check on their food. Are you helping them?” Jesse asked later that afternoon during a sudden lunch rush.
Frenzied, I gathered the takeout boxes from the counter. “Yep. Got it here. Thanks, though.”
“Hey.” He put his hand on my shoulder, and my arm ignited with his touch. The sensation flew through my core until it finally churned in my belly. I had no idea what I’d come to the kitchen for to begin with. “Calm down,” he added. “What can I help you with?”
I took a deep breath and waited for the strength in my knees to return before responding. I thought back to minutes earlier and my memory sparked. “Bring fourteen their food. Twelve needs two Diet Cokes, and twenty-three needs a bread basket. Rae is really in the weeds and there are two parties waiting to be sat.”
“I got it.” He smiled and tugged on my apron string. “Take it easy. Go seat them.”
I nodded and started to move away just as Jesse slapped my ass. Maybe he was trying to be funny—playful, even. But I didn’t like it. It made me want to puke. I removed my apron and greeted the customers in the lobby with a bright red face and a scowl.
Once the rush ended and Rae gained control of her tables, Adam walked toward the lobby to look at the seating chart.
“Can I take a smoke break?” I asked.
He nodded and licked his thin lips.
Yuck.
“Sure, Charlie. Whatever you need.”
I got outside as quickly as possible and lit a cigarette. Taking the first drag, I inhaled like no other before it. The sky was blue and small clouds wisped through, looking like feathers. It was chilly enough outside to feel a reprieve from the thick humidity inside the restaurant. I’d been sweating since noon.
The door flew open, hitting my foot.
“Ouch!”
Jesse peeked around the corner. “Oh, uh. Sorry. What are you doing after work today?” He stepped out and took my cigarette from my hand.
Apparently, to him, we’d arrived at the point in our friendship where we were comfortably sharing the same cigarette. I must have missed that milestone.
“Going home, taking a shower, and relaxing. You?” I said.
“I was going to go for a ride…”
“A ride?”
“Yeah. Wanna come with?”
I eyed him skeptically. “Depends. What are we riding?” I tried not to think of the sexual implication in my question.
He smiled. “A bicycle.”
“Nope. No. Sorry. I fell off a bike as a kid. They’re not really my thing. At all.”
“C’mon, Red. You gotta get back on someday.”
“Why? Why is this mandatory when I can live a calm and peaceful life without it?”
He rolled his eyes. “A personal motto for you?”
So cryptic.
“I’m not riding a bike again, Jesse. Period.”
“Fine. No bike ride today.” He took a drag from my cigarette and handed it back to me. “But I’ll get you back on a bike someday if it kills me. How about we go for a drive, get some lunch maybe?”
I bit my bottom lip, trying to hide my smile. “How will Christy feel about that?”
He cocked his head to the side and huffed out a laugh. “Christy will be just fine.”
I nodded hesitantly. “Fine. Where are we going?”
He opened the door. “I’ll drive us,” he said over his shoulder as the door shut behind him.
***
After changing into a wrinkled outfit I had stashed in my car, I sat at a booth in the bar until Jesse was cut from his shift. It wasn’t much more than ten minutes before he joined me.
“Hey, I have to run home quick and change. I smell like a pizza. You can come in and wait. I’ll only be a minute,” he said.
Knowing I’d get to see where he lived conjured up a strange nervousness. It wasn’t unwelcome, though. Still, no matter how many sour keys were struck, I couldn’t help but notice that he was much more warm and receptive than he had ever been before; the air between us was less awkward. So I swallowed my fear about any motive he might have had to get me back to his place, and followed him out to his car.
The small Honda was guaranteed to give me a cramped ride. No thirty-six-inch inseam would ever approve of such a car. The silver-blue hue of the body was dull and spotty, and the front right panel was black, indicating it had been replaced at some point due to an accident. The thing had to be almost twenty years old.
We hopped in, and with a slight seat adjustment I found I had more room than I thought I would. His hands worked swiftly over the stick shift, and I gripped the handle on the door tightly as he raced to the highway. Before I could blink, he had us heading south, away from The Cities.
The stereo blasted a quirky tune that I didn’t recognize. My appreciation for music went beyond what most would’ve considered normal. My right and left brain argued over it constantly. Different instruments muddled my logic, making me not able to decipher how it was created. And when I sat back and tried to forget about it, I felt too much from its lyrics. My body would quake at the emotions it conjured. It was best if I stayed away altogether.
But his music was different. Light. Simple. A reggae of sorts, the song had a fast tempo fused with strange guitar distortions.
“What are we listening to?” I shouted over the music, my knuckles turning white from the grip on the handle.
He turned down the volume. “They’re called Less Than Jake. Third-wave ska. Love ’em. You like?” he asked, holding an invisible drumstick and hitting the dash.
“Amazingly enough, I do. It doesn’t give me a headache.” I smiled, and glowed with anticipation of the afternoon. His mood definitely helped lessen my apprehension, as I hadn’t felt that calm with him since I’d first laid eyes on him. My anxiety had been replaced with deep breaths and quiet thoughts. “How many waves of ska are there?”
He smiled so wide that a small dimple appeared. He clearly appreciated my question. “Just three.”
We pulled off the highway, and within seconds he turned into a driveway. The house wasn’t far from mine, and I recognized the neighborhood. The simple home was two stories, brown with white trim. The screens were dirty but the landscape was clean. A short brick wall segregated the mulch from the grass, and two trimmed lilac bushes flanked both sides of the front door.
“You want to come in, or do you want to wait out here? I’ll only be a few minutes,” he asked, taking the keys out of the ignition.
I’m too curious to pass this up. “I’ll come in.”
I followed closely behind. He jogged up the steps to open the unlocked door, and the aroma of bacon hit my senses followed by the distinct smell of men’s cologne, aftershave, and Irish Spring soap. Clean and masculine. The small entryway was uncluttered and inviting, and the split-level entry garnished a wooden banister on both stairwells. The steps down led to nothing but a closed door, and Jesse quickly ran upstairs to an open space.
At the top was a living room and kitchen. An open window blew the curtain sheers elegantly, and faded green wallpaper covered two walls. The kitchen cupboards were painted white, and the countertops an old vinyl with dirty dishes littering their surface.
“It’s big. I thought you’d be living in an apartment.” I said, but Jesse had disappeared up another short flight of steps to a narrow hallway.
“Make yourself at home! There are cups in the cupboard by the sink and pop in the fridge!” he yelled down.
I circled the room, looking at photographs of people I didn’t know and generic wall art that told me nothing of the man who lived there. The bookshelf held classics like Tom Sawyer, Great Expectations, and Moby Dick. I had to remove one to make
sure they weren’t just a façade of cardboard replicas.
I scanned the collection of books until I discovered a book that had tattered edges and a broken spine that had the appearance of being read over and over again.
How to Cope With Bipolar Disorder. And another at its side: Commonly Prescribed Medications, Interactions and Side Effects.
“Finding anything interesting?” he asked, appearing behind me.
“Oh!” I gasped. “Um, have you read all of these? It’s quite a collection. Varied.”
“Most of these are Dennis and Jake’s. Jake is a good buddy, and Dennis is his dad. But I’ve read a few of them, I guess.” He shrugged. “Are you ready?” He gestured toward the front door.
I nodded and followed behind, quietly contemplating.
***
“Where are we going?” I asked, watching the woods zip past as he drove. It was early afternoon, and the sun was beating down through the windshield.
“Just a quiet place I used to go. Good greasy food.”
The greens, yellows, and browns of spring blurred together outside as we sped down the freeway. I rolled down the window, and my short red hair whipped around my forehead, hitting the lenses of my sunglasses. I couldn’t stop smiling.
He plucked a CD from his visor and switched the music. Looking over at me, he grinned and took a cigarette from my pack. “If you like this kind of music, I’ll copy one of my favorite albums for you.”
I nodded enthusiastically. “Thanks.”
We drove forty-five minutes west, passing cornfields and woodlands. Approaching a large field of young sunflowers, he signaled his blinker and turned down a narrow dirt road.
“You found a place to eat down here? What were you doing?”
His grip around the steering wheel tightened, and a quick frown disappeared from his face. “I’ll explain later. We’re here.”
I looked up, and a small log house with an oak porch out front came into view. It was a small clearing in a mass of sunflowers, with the dirt road being the only way in and out.
We stepped out of the car and I studied the house further. A handwritten OPEN sign hung from the window and an old Labrador sat in the yard. It attempted to get to its feet, wagging its tail.
“Come ’ere, Sadie.” Jesse slapped his knee and the dog jogged toward him. Scratching her ears, he knelt down and whispered, “Yeah, that feels good, doesn’t it?”
Sadie looked more than happy to see him, turning in a circle before plopping down on her back so that Jesse could reach her stomach.
“Jesse Anders! Is that you?” a woman called from the porch.
He stood, wiping the dog hair off his hands, and slid them into his pockets. “Hey, Lily,” he said, squinting his eyes in the bright sunlight. Forgetting I was there, he strolled toward her and stretched his back from the long drive.
“Get over here, young man,” Lily laughed. The petite middle-aged woman wore old jeans, a blue T-shirt, a blue bandana, and an apron around her waist. She took quick steps toward Jesse and greeted him in a bear hug in front of the stairs. The gray-brown bun in her hair bobbed as he picked her up from the ground.
I turned my attention to Sadie and scratched her behind the ears, giving Jesse a moment alone with his friend.
“Charlie?” he yelled.
I swung around and walked toward them. “Lily, this is my friend, Charlie. We were hoping you had some patty melts and fries for a couple of strays.”
My stomach growled at the thought. I was famished. Almost an entire week had passed, and I could probably count the amount of calories I’d consumed. Far less than I was used to, anyway. “Hi, Lily. It’s nice to meet you.”
“You too.” She nodded. “Come on, kids. My lunch rush of four just left. The best seats in the house just opened up.” She whistled for Sadie, and we all climbed the steps into the entry.
I could see why Jesse chose the place. Decorated in antiques and checkered tablecloths, the interior of the house had scuffed hardwood floors, an old jukebox, handmade curtains to match the tablecloths, and a small counter in the corner with an old-fashioned cash register.
A small breeze carried with it the fresh scent of spring and soil, masking the aroma of greasy comfort food, while John Denver played softly in the background.
“Have a seat. I’m going to see if Lily needs some help,” he said, walking into the kitchen.
“Okay.”
I chose a table next to a window, and opened the curtains so the sun could beat down on my face. I closed my eyes, breathing in and out, and when I opened them again, the sunflower stalks swayed gently in unison with the wind.
“Okay, okay, I’m leaving!” Jesse laughed, walking from the kitchen with a handful of freshly-grated parmesan. Popping it in his mouth, he joined me at the table. “She didn’t want my help.”
His blue eyes sparkled in the sunlight. They were bluer than I’d ever seen them, and I tried not to stare. This man, this creature, was one of the most beautiful things I’d ever laid eyes on. With the blond stubble on his chin, his hair disheveled and unkempt, and without fancy designer clothes, he was far from perfect. He was exactly who he wanted to be.
And exactly what I needed him to be.
Eyes like that didn’t lie. And as much as he’d flipped upside down, back and forth, and right side up again, there was nobody who could convince me that he’d harm a single hair on my head.
Not at that moment, anyway.
“So you used to live around here? I wouldn’t blame you if you did. I love it here,” I said.
“Kind of. I was pretty young. And when I saw the sunflower field…” He stopped. “Do you want something to drink?” he asked, abruptly rising from the chair.
I shook my head at the rapid subject change, and he walked toward the cooler behind the register. “Um, sure. Anything is fine. So you were saying?” I pried.
Removing two bottles of soda, he walked back to the table and sat down. “Yeah. I used to live near here.” He sighed, twisting off the caps. “I…I ran away from a foster home when I was fourteen. This place is where I ended up. Lily took me in for a couple of months and I helped her out with this place.” He gave a tight smile and his leg bounced quickly under the table.
I fought the chills that crept up my arms, and sensed his hesitancy. “Do you want to talk about this?”
He exhaled in relief. “No, not really.”
“Okay. Then tell me more about third-wave ska.”
The dimple popped into his cheek again and he dove into the subject with ease, starting with first wave and rattling off the bands that influenced each one. It was his passion about the subject that resonated with me. With each word he spoke, his animated body language and energy lit up the room. It was as though he’d never gotten a chance to talk about it before that day, and his mind burst with information. It was likely that I’d only retain a fraction of the knowledge, but I’d never forget the way he told it. He could’ve spoken about an economical crisis in a third-world country, and I still would’ve been fascinated.
“Here we go!” Lily said, carrying two plates from the kitchen. “Do we need anything else here? Ketchup? Water?”
“A side of Ranch, if you have it. Otherwise it looks delicious.” My stomach growled.
Lily stepped back into the kitchen and Jesse waited in anticipation for my first bite. He wore a funny smile, and gave me a nod. “Go ahead,” he said.
I took a small bite, and my eyes closed at the buttery crisp goodness that lingered in the back of my throat. Maybe it was because I’d survived solely on coffee for the past week, but it was the best damn sandwich I’d ever had in my life. Savoring every chew, I licked my lips and then swallowed. “Oh, my. Yum.”
As evidenced by his smile, Jesse took pride in sharing the restaurant with me. “I take it you approve?”
I couldn’t answer because I’d already taken another huge bite, but I covered my mouth and nodded with a wink.
Bite after bite I devoured the sandw
ich, upset that I didn’t have room left in my stomach for the fries and Ranch. Jesse managed to clear his plate, however, and I hadn’t spoken during the entire meal.
“Well I managed to eat the entire sandwich. I blame you for the six pounds I gained this afternoon.” I slouched in my chair. “Sorry, this has to be done,” I said, unsnapping the button at my waist.
“No apology necessary. I’m about to do the same.”
“Do you two kiddos want some dessert? I just made lemon meringue,” Lily said with a smile, wiping her hands on her apron.
“Lily, you’ve been great, and the sandwich was to die for. But I. Am. Stuffed.” I chuckled, patting my belly.
“I’m good too. We’ve got to get going. I’m on a double,” Jesse said.
“Tonight?” I looked at the clock on the wall. Four thirty. “Aren’t we going to be late?”
“No, it’s a bussing shift. I don’t have to be there until six. Plenty of time to get back.”
Lily smiled. “You liking your job then? How’s your mom?”
“Everything is good, Lil. I’ll stop back next week when I have more time to chat.” He threw some money down on the table and gave her another hug.
“Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard that before, Jess. Charlie promised me she’ll keep an eye on you.” Lily winked at me and I nodded my agreement.
“Say ‘hi’ to your mom for me—Molly and Donny too.”
“Will do. Charlie, can you give us a second?”
“Of course! I’ll be outside,” I said, and walked out the front door. “Thanks again, Lily!”
I lit a cigarette and wandered the front yard.
Sadie ran over and sat in front of me, smiling. I smiled back and gave her a pat on her head. “Good girl.”
“You ready?” Jesse asked, bounding down the steps as the screen door clattered behind him.
“Sure.”
I dozed on the car ride back, with a satisfied stomach that I’d neglected for some time. I hadn’t really noticed, but since I’d met Jesse my thoughts had spiraled out of control. Keeping my stomach empty was not only the best way to avoid throwing up, but also the only way I felt I had control. My emotions bounced from one extreme to the next when he entered my mind. Which was often.
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