Fox stands, heading for the stairs. I follow, reaching him just before he starts down. I tug on his arm and he spins to face me. He waits for me to say something, but no words come. There’s nothing I can say right now to lessen his disappointment. I can’t tell him what he wants to hear. But I don’t want him to leave without knowing that this isn’t an easy decision for me. I wish he were psychic so I could share my swirling emotions with him, but that would make things too easy. On impulse, I push up on my tiptoes and press a quick kiss on his lips. When I sink back to my heels, his gray eyes cloud, but he isn’t angry.
“Walk me out?”
I nod and Fox takes my hand. I hesitate as we start down the stairs, but he didn’t misinterpret my kiss. His relief laps over me gently: He’s glad I haven’t written him off entirely, grateful for an opportunity to prove himself to me.
We pause at the front door. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
I pull a face. “Still suspended.”
He presses his lips into a tight line. “It’s such bullshit. Zane’s the one—”
“I know.” I squeeze his fingers and release his hand. “I’ll see you Friday.”
He nods, leaning forward and planting a soft kiss on my cheek.
“Bye, Fox,” Mom calls when he opens the door. He gives a sheepish smile, waving, before ducking out into the night. Mom waits until the door closes before clearing her throat. “So, back with Fox, huh?”
Heat rises in my cheeks. It’s not a ridiculous conclusion. “No. It’s… complicated.”
She raises an eyebrow. “Well, then. Let’s expand the no-boyfriends-in-the-bedroom rule to a no-boyfriends-or-complicated-boy-relationships-in-the-bedroom rule, okay?” She winks before heading back into the living room.
I go back upstairs and grab the picture of Fox and me from the zoo off my dresser before lying on my bed. I trace our faces with my fingertip, trying to convince myself I made the right decision.
I must drift off, because when pounding assails my ears, I jolt, feeling groggy. I can’t quite pry my eyes open. Where’s the noise coming from? It sounds nearby, and it’s growing nearer. Something like wood and anger. It’s familiar, but I can’t place it.
My body jostles and hands clamp down around my shoulders. My eyelids flutter open as fingernails dig into my flesh and shake me. “What did you do?”
I blink against the harsh artificial light from the overhead fixture. It’s still night. It takes several moments before I focus on the face before me: Crystal Jamison’s eyes are red-rimmed, her cheeks blotchy, her hair wild. I grab her wrists, trying to pry her off me. “What’s going on?”
“Don’t pretend like you don’t know!” She releases me, shoving me back toward my pillow. She stands and begins pacing beside my bed, pointing an accusing finger. “She’s dead, and you’re behind it—I know you are!”
I sit up straight, all traces of grogginess gone. “Dead? Who’s dead? What are you talking—”
“Don’t pretend like you don’t know!” Crystal screams, rounding on me, eyes wild. “This is revenge—revenge for something I didn’t even do!”
My mom’s head appears in the stairwell. “Hon, is everything okay?”
Crystal’s entire body tenses, her face going red. Despite this, I nod. “It’s fine, Mom. I’ve got this. You can go back downstairs.”
Mom’s lips press together in a tight line, but after a beat she nods, descending.
I stand, crossing to Crystal. “Now, you wanna calm down and tell me what you’re talking about before my mom calls the cops or something?”
She snorts. “Your mom. She’s not even supposed to be here! Your mom is supposed to be dead!”
My chest constricts, pressing the air out. “You think I don’t know that?”
Crystal’s gaze wavers for an instant before burning into mine once more. “There was a fire, earlier tonight. Uncle David came home and there were fire trucks and ambulances outside the house. He said they told him the fire just wouldn’t go out—no matter what they did…”
My stomach twists. “Oh, god…”
“Aunt Crystal—she’s… she’s…” Crystal sniffs, knees buckling. I wrap my arms around her and ease her down so she’s sitting on my bed. “It’s not supposed to be like this. I had her back and she was supposed to help me and teach me. But now she’s gone.” Two fat tears slide down her cheeks.
A pang courses through me. “I get it. I do. When we got back and my mom was alive, it was like a gift. It is a gift. And your time with your aunt was a gift.” I rub her back, trying to comfort her. “You were able to meet her—to get to know her. I mean, that’s something, right? You were never supposed to know her.”
“Yes, I was,” she snaps. “I made sure of it! She’s supposed to be here now. Why do you get your mom when you didn’t even want her back? You didn’t do anything to get her back. But I wanted my aunt, I saw a way, and I took it. But it’s you who has everything she wants—of course it is—”
I stare at her, processing her words. She can’t mean what I think she does, can she? I shake my head, standing. “Crystal, you can’t mean—”
“I saved her! I pulled her out of the fire and I saved her. And for what? Now she’s gone!”
“You changed things? Crystal—you changed things? I thought you said it was just because we took the crystal. You never said your aunt was alive because you pulled her out of the house!”
“Why are you so upset?” she asks, standing. “You got what you wanted, didn’t you? Your whole perfect family back together. Your mom’s still alive, you’re living here with Jodi. You have your new friends worshiping at your altar. So what, you aren’t with Owen? Don’t think I don’t know Fox is still in love with you. I gave you this life—don’t you forget it. Your mom’s the one who deserved to die, not my aunt!”
I shake my head. “What have you done? We’re not supposed to mess with time. We went back for the crystal, that’s it. You weren’t supposed to—”
“But I did! I saw a chance to save my aunt and I took it. Are you telling me that if you had the same opportunity, you wouldn’t have done it? If we’d gone back to the day your mom died, you wouldn’t have found a way to keep it from happening?”
I don’t know how to respond. Would I have had the willpower to allow things to take their original course if I had the power to stop it? Part of me wants to say yes, I would have been strong enough not to interfere with the way things were supposed to happen. Then again, if that were entirely true, I wouldn’t have agreed to go back in time in the first place, to acquire a crystal that was supposed to burn up in a fire in order to save Jodi’s life.
“We can’t change anything now,” I say quietly. “What’s done is done.”
Crystal shakes her head. “No. I can fix it—I know I can.”
I grab her shoulders and force her to look at me. “Some things can’t be fixed. And even if they can, they shouldn’t.” Her eyes dart downward and I position myself so I’m in her line of sight. “Do you understand me?”
She takes in a shaky breath, nodding almost imperceptibly.
“Good. Because there’s a bigger problem we’re facing. Dana’s dad, Millie, Felix, your aunt—do you realize what they all have in common?”
She blinks, her expression blank.
“They’re all descended from founding families. It can’t be a coincidence—all these things happening so close together. And if I’m right, it means neither one of us is safe. We need to find out who’s doing this.”
She snorts. “Yesterday you were convinced the circle tried to kill Felix.”
“And I’m willing to admit I was wrong. I think all these attacks are connected, and there’s no way you or Lexie would hurt your aunt.” I take in a breath. “Is there some kind of spell you can do to figure out if there’s anyone in town practicing magic?”
She squints. “Not sure. Maybe.”
“Will you look into it?”
After a beat, she nods.
I p
erch on the bed beside her. “We’re on the same side now. We have to figure out who’s doing this and stop them.” Crystal’s lower lip trembles and I slide my arm around her shoulders. “Is there anything I can do for you?”
She shakes her head. “No. I should… I should get home. My mom…” She squeezes her eyes closed.
“I understand. Look—call if you need anything. I know that we’re not exactly… But I know what you’re going through. So, if you need me, I’m here.”
Crystal nods once before standing and heading for the stairs. She doesn’t look back.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Despite the fact I thought Crystal and I were on the same page about things when she left my house Wednesday night, she ignores me completely when I return to school on Friday. Surprisingly, I’m fine with this. Although I know in my head the best way to find whoever’s behind the attacks is to work with the circle, my heart can’t help feeling betrayed by her lie. All this time, I’ve been operating under the assumption that the change in our reality couldn’t have been helped, it was simply the price to pay in order to bring the crystal back, to save Jodi’s life. But things are different now that I know Crystal actively influenced the change. She pretended to be surprised when she told me her aunt was alive, but she wasn’t. She knew Crystal Taylor didn’t die in that fire and she lied to me. She might still be mad at me for something I had no hand in, but I’m equally as mad at her for something she did have a hand in.
Or at least, sometimes I am. But, as indignant and holier-than-thou I feel about her disregarding our promise not to affect anything while in the past, I can’t pretend I haven’t benefited from her choice. For some reason, the act of saving her aunt from that fire rippled out and saved my mother. And, if I’m being entirely honest, it saved me, too. In my reality, I spent four years in a hell of my own making, my abilities causing problems and making the people in my life avoid me—or worse, torment me. But alternate-me never went through that. Instead, having spent the last four years here in Clearwater, she was accepted and popular. I was accepted and popular. So, as mad as I’d like to be, I’m conflicted.
Also avoiding me at school is Owen. I’d write it off as being due to Fox hanging around, but he’s late to school Friday, arriving about ten minutes into our shared second period class. I smile and wave as he moves up the aisle to his seat, but he averts his eyes immediately. I try not to be too disappointed, even though I was really hoping the two of us could be friends.
Crystal Taylor’s funeral is Saturday. As I expected, the parking lot is nearly packed when we arrive. Most of the community seems to have turned up for the funeral. Mom and Jodi gravitate toward Shelly Tanner and Lexie’s mom as soon as we walk in the building. I see Lexie almost immediately and my breath catches: She’s wearing the exact outfit she wore to our principal’s funeral in my other reality—a simple black dress with a chunky turquoise necklace. I almost go to her to hug her and offer words of comfort, but I stop short. She’s not the same Lexie here. She dabs her eyes with a tissue and Bridget rests a hand on her shoulder. Crystal Jamison is nearby, standing between Griffin and Fox. Her eyes narrow when they land on me and I press my lips together, unsure how to read her.
Fingers graze my elbow and I jump, clutching my chest. I turn and Seth offers an apologetic smile.
“I said your name a couple times,” he says quietly, nodding down the hall toward a less populated area.
“Sorry,” I murmur, following. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”
He shrugs. “I met with your principal a few times—discussing volunteering at the school. She was kind to me, and I wanted to show my respect.”
We stop beside a half-empty coat rack toward the far end of the hall. “Have you found something?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing concrete.”
“Do you have a lead, at least?”
Seth shifts his weight from one foot to the other. “Maybe. But I need to get a better sense of exactly what kind of energy is in the stone.”
I nod. “No problem. If you want, I could probably get Fox to come over and—”
“Actually, I was hoping to talk with Crystal. From what you’ve told me, she seems to be the most emotionally connected to it, and I believe that will help.”
“Okay. Well, you’re on your own there. I don’t know how she’s feeling about me at the moment.”
“That’s fine. She seems comfortable around me. I think if I go over to offer my condolences I might be able to steal a few minutes with her.”
People start moving toward the open door at the end of the hallway and Seth and I follow suit. Jodi and my mom are sitting toward the back and Seth and I settle down beside them.
During the service, emotions swirl so quickly through my mind that it’s hard for me to follow what the funeral director is saying. Though she’s sitting a few chairs away from me, being here reminds me of the time when my mother was gone. I’m still afraid that if I blink, she’ll be gone again.
Halfway through the service, Crystal Jamison lets out a wail and hurries from the room. My heart twists; when I did this in our other reality, it was Crystal who followed me outside and tried to comfort me. I shift in my seat, prepared to be the one to comfort her, but Seth beats me to it. I watch him leave the room, unsure whether this is the right time for him to corner her with questions about the crystal. Minutes tick by and I keep expecting Seth to reenter the room, but by the time the service is over, he still hasn’t returned. Mom and Jodi don’t exit the room right away, instead, taking time to offer condolences. People begin milling around, and though the volume isn’t extreme, it’s enough to make me feel hemmed in. I need to get out of here. I could just go outside—it’s unseasonably warm today, which might be Crystal and Lexie’s doing—but what I really want is to leave this place. Unfortunately, Jodi and my mom know too many people here and appear to be in no hurry to take off.
Without looking, I turn and start for the door. I make it no more than a few steps before colliding with someone. “I’m sorry,” I say, keeping my eyes down. But the hands of the person I collided with remain on my upper arms and I look up to see who they belong to. My breath catches when I find myself looking into Owen’s clear blue eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he says quickly, releasing me. “Do you think… Could we talk for a minute? Alone?”
My skin prickles. “Alone?”
He nods. “It’s… It’s kind of important.”
After a moment’s hesitation, I agree. Owen reaches down and grabs my hand. Gasping, I allow him to pull me out of the room, past knots of tearful people, and down an empty hallway at the other side of the funeral home.
By the time we come to a stop, his grip on my hand is painful. I extricate it, rubbing it against my upper thigh. “Okay, what’s going on? Yesterday you ignore me, now you’re desperate to talk?”
He takes a step toward me, invading my space, his eyes clasped on mine. “What did you do to me?”
I lean back. “What? Nothing.”
“Yes, you did.” He presses a hand to his eyes. “I can’t explain it, but ever since we were at your house… I remember things.” He runs the hand through his hair, letting it come to a rest on the back of his neck. “I remember us.”
My eyebrows draw together. “What about us? What? From back in seventh grade?”
He shakes his head and points. “No. I remember… Seeing Planet of the Apes at the bookstore, and Tucker coming after you. I remember… kissing you on your front porch. We didn’t know each other in seventh grade. You moved here a month ago.” He squints, his eyes flitting over my face. “I’m not crazy—I knew it. You remember those things, too, don’t you?”
My jaw drops and I gape. “How do you…?”
He shrugs, the corners of his mouth twitching. “At first… At first it was like remembering pieces of a dream, you know? All disconnected—nothing was making sense. It started on your porch. I… I could feel what it was like kissing you.”
My
heartbeat increases, thudding in my veins. “Owen…”
“And then more things started popping into my head—like helping Mrs. Bates out in the courtyard—or dancing together at the harvest dance.” He releases a noisy breath. “Being psychic. And since I remembered that—remembered having a vision about Felix, remembered sitting at your dining room table while Jodi explained everything to us—it’s like someone flipped on switch in my head. On your birthday, I had this bad feeling about Felix—nothing specific—but then I find out he was in a fire. How did I sense that, Krissa? How do I know any of this?”
I open my mouth, but no words come out. I don’t know how to answer him.
“And why?” he continues. “Why did it happen two different ways?” He takes up my hands, squeezing them with gentle pressure.
I press my lips together. I have to tell him, don’t I? If he’s remembering the other timeline, I have to tell him why things are different. I already told Felix, after all, and my reason for sharing with him was so much less pressing than the reason Owen wants to know. But as I open my mouth to begin explaining, my palms begin to tingle and I realize why Owen took my hands to begin with. I pull away from him, glaring. “What the hell, Owen! You can’t just reach into my head like that!”
“You went back in time?” He murmurs it so quietly I’m not sure he realizes he said it out loud. He takes in a breath. “You weren’t even gonna tell me.”
“Of course I wasn’t,” I snap.
“But I deserved to know—”
“If I told you right after it happened, you wouldn’t’ve listened to me. Or worse, if you did, you would’ve thought I was insane!” I pause, waiting for him to disagree, but he doesn’t.
After a second, he averts his eyes. “You’re right. But I know now—and that’s what’s important.” He takes a step toward me, cupping the side of my face with his hand. He swoops down so quickly I don’t have time to do anything but react when his lips touch mine. It’s what I’ve longed for since before the time-travel spell, and for a moment, I kiss back. But then warning bells and sirens sound in my head—I can’t kiss him, not now. I have to figure out what’s happening, and I can’t let my desire to kiss him get in the way. Placing my hands on his chest, I push him away. His blue eyes are confused. “What’s wrong?”
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